A Bonafied City Girl & the Canoe Trip from Hell!

fendigal

baguette collector
O.G.
Mar 1, 2006
2,456
179
I don't know if any of you have been "forced" to do an outdoor activity, but here is a place to post your story!
I feel like I have been beaten up by the oars of the canoe! Yesterday my whole office went out to the Brandywine River or Creek, I don't know, but it was horrible. I work with three hand surgeons and the head of the practice decided this mandatory canoe trip would be a great teamwork/bonding experience.:cursing:
It was ridiculous. First of all, my idea of athletics outside of watching it on TV is a gym workout. We weren't allowed to bring spouses so there was no help there.
TWO MILES OF ROWING BACKWARDS, SIDEWAYS AND IN CIRCLES:
We all got these canoes and the entire trip turned out to be a little over two miles. Myself and one of the other hand therapists decide to get in one canoe and neither one of us could steer well so we ended up going backwards at times.
GETTING STUCK AND TRYING TO PREVENT DECAPITATION:
The water was very shallow (like at times a 4 inches deep) and there were a lot of downed trees due to recent storms so half the time we would get stuck on the bottom of the river and had to push off with the oars. Neither one of us had a lot of strength so this was difficult. The other half of the time we were ducking under or doing the limbo to prevent being hit in the head with a log or a tree branch.
THE WATERFALL:
Then to top it all off there turns out to be a dam/small water fall that the canoe can't make it over. So my boss tells me to take off my shoes get out of the canoe and step down the stones of the dam then pull the canoe down while the other girl holds the other end of the canoe. I ended up standing in water with my jeans soaked up to my butt.:yucky:
LOST ON THE WAY HOME:
Then coming home there was a car acccident and the police had the road blocked off so I had to take a one lane road, including a single lane bridge and was basically lost in the back woods of Pennsylvania. I finally found my home town after about 30 minutes of driving around farmland.
I AM STILL COLD AND SORE:
By the time I got home I was absolutely freezing, wet with river water that is probably polluted, and my muscles were already sore. I took a shower and a bunch of naprosyn and went to bed for like 12 hours. My DH brought me some food, I was too tired to fix anything. I am still cold and sore, so I am laying on the heating pad at this moment.
This is now on my list of things I will never do again!! Ever!
 
:flowers: Sorry you had such a rough go at it, it shouldn't have been mandatory. I do have to admit, I was laughing pretty hard at your description of your day. You're a very talented writer.
 
:flowers: Sorry you had such a rough go at it, it shouldn't have been mandatory. I do have to admit, I was laughing pretty hard at your description of your day. You're a very talented writer.

Thanks for the compliment on my writing!
I bought a pair of Prada boots online this morning. I figured I deserved them after that!
 
awww Fendi...I feel your pain! My husband has dragged me on trips from hell too....description of the last trip:
4 adults and 2 dogs in an RV. The dogs were running everywhere....hubby is asking me to get him a Coke while we're driving down the road (he was driving)...so I try to open the fridge....um ya bad idea....cokes were rolling up and down the RV.
Halfway there the lights on the inside of the RV go out. There's a short somewhere. We can't figure it out and we have no running lights on the outside either. It's dark...but we plunge ahead. we turned the back bedroom light on so people could see us!
We get to this little town and miss our street to turn down....ya...trying to make a U-turn in an RV...ummm not fun. I'm outside directing him so he doesn't hit a tree (or me!).
We get to the campground....pull in and connect all our electricity and hoses. Sitting around the campfire and hear a big "BOOM"...yup...the water hose exploded. So now no fresh water the rest of the weekend (thankfully campground had showers and bathrooms)...only what's in the tank. The next day I go to the washroom and there is water running all over the floor. Yup...water pump broke.
That night at 3 AM the generator turns on by itself...wakes us all up.
During the weekend...3 people crashed on their ATVs (two people rolled down a hill backwards....thankfully all were OK). I basically quit while I was ahead and stopped riding on the saturday.

Driving home.....a tire blows on the freeway.

now....RV is up for sale ! I got so tired of wasting money on the darn thing!
So hopefully no more horror stories for me!
 
fendigal - I'm so sorry you had to go through that!! I'm a total city girl too and I would not be impressed either. I remember going canoeing in school and hating every minute of it. I can't believe that was a mandatory work activity!! They should have at least let you bring your SO's along so you would have some help. Hopefully you boss has learned his lesson.

twiggers - I'm sorry but that was too funny!! I can totally relate! We used to have an RV when I was growing up and it was great when everything was working. When something wasn't working though it was just awful. Our water pump decided to stop working on us on time in the middle of nowhere, luckily my dad managed to fix it after a phone call to his dad and a lot of swearing. :lol:
 
^ i just wanna go to Saks for one hour today..Been home with sick child ALL WEEK...( and she gave me the stoamch flu too..LOL!)....The best stress releiver is ...SHOPPING!!LMAO!I have a pair of Fendi flats on hold I gotta go get..sniff!

PS-^ Your story is why I dont do outdoors trips!!LOL!