Judging the judgmental...frustrated at lack of tolerance and acceptance...am I alone?

twinkle.tink

twinkle.tink

Choose to be happy
O.G.
Sep 19, 2006
21,299
608
#1
I know it is a paradox, but I am so frustrated with judgmental people.

In so many facets of my life, I see people who are so judgmental...their reasons range from sheer ignorance to being obtuse to down right prejudice and willful misunderstanding. It just seems to be rampant these days...from strangers, people in the online communities I enjoy, casual acquaintances, friends and even family members.

I just don't understand this. People seem to no longer give any thought to allowing for difference of opinions, lifestyles, choices...for difference in temperament or circumstances.

What happened to tolerance? I admit it, I am no longer tolerant to the intolerant.

How do you deal with these people? I need some help here, before I become what I hate.
 
#2
i seem to work with the biggest group of people who can't tolerate anything.... you can't argue with them to just "chill out" and be laid back... they get all up in arms about everything and if someone does one little tiny thing wrong or say something cause they're in a bad mood they're permanently marked as the "bad employee".

i've just come to the conclusion that they're just going to be that way and either i just have to sit back and deal with it and not let it bother me or jump on the train and become as judgemental about them as they do about others. and there have been times where someone was so judgemental about a person and it clouded my judgement as well.

i agree it's rather frustrating
 
#4
Do not let it bother you. Why get yourself bent out of shape from other's behavior. That is their misery. Of course, I will not sit back and let wrongdoing go unchecked. As far as the behavior of others, I have no control but I do have control over my own behavior and will not change it for the worse for anyone. I stand on my own two feet and help others when they cannot. Anyone else can kiss my ....
 
#5
Me too, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion, you see?
What troubles me is the camouflaged hate. Judging ppl is a way to express hidden hate. I usually don't bother my self with that kind of ppl. I leave them alone.
 
#6
This is me.

I've decided for myself that I should accept people for who they are because everyone in this world is different and also, I don't like it when people judge me. Plus, I'm always trying to give out positive energy and judgmental doesn't really work with that.

But I get so mad at the people that constantly judge others! I always want to yell at them, "Who the hell are you to judge other people?!?" I have actually said that to someone before, a male friend of mine. He ignored me.

I have no idea about a solution to this but if you find one, please tell me.
 
#9
I know how it is, I always feel like I'm being judged. From my hair color to my bags and clothing choices, I always feel like I'm being harshly judged by people. I probably am.
Like frostedcouture said though, we all do this in some way or another, it takes a lot of effort to not do it at times.
When they judge you and others and you hear it, just bring it to their attention and discuss it with them. Chances are, they *may* not even realize they're doing it so frequently or at all so bringing it up will make them feel more self conscious about it. Maybe they will eventually stop.
 
#10
I think judgment comes from arrogance: people who judge others’ life choices are just a little too pleased with their own, people who judge others’ ethnicity have a sense of false pride about their own culture, etc. For me, it’s easier to get past judgmental people when you assess this from this angle.

Likewise, when I judge others (and I do, despite my best efforts), I try to remind myself that the reason I am doing this is because I feel my way of doing things is better than this other person’s, but that I have no real grounds for feeling this way.
 
#11
I hate people like this too, but I think in some way or another, everyone is judgemental. It's human to judge others. We all have opinions and what we think is "normal" or "standard," so it's natural to judge others.

But it's when others use their judgement and assumptions and act upon them when speaking to others that really irritates me. :shrugs: I try to not deal with those people or just walk away. I don't want to start any arguments with them.
 
#13
when i read, see, hear someone else's judgments on another, i think about the hurt, negativity, and unhealthiness that person is sending the other's way. i try to be so careful how i write things on this very site for that reason. no matter if you are trying to be helpful or flat out rude, openly judging someone can be very hurtful.

i have witnessed this, and believe me, i know that i judge others, too. however, i believe we must make every effort to be kind and gentle towards each other. no matter what you are thinking, everything must be done with tact and concern for another's feelings! in the end, i tihnk it comes down to treating each other with respect. when that involves "judging" - whether giving well-intended advice that carries a blatant judgment on another, or just being mean- we need to remember that there is someone on the receiving end, and how we would feel on that end. even if we wouldn't mind it- we need to be mindful of others; we are all in this thing together, after all. like Compass Rose said, i feel like we are out of touch with ourselves as humans. we have the power to be the most caring and humane of creatures and entirely misuse it. by doing the little things, like being careful how we put things, we are spreading kindness and the reminder that we care.

Twinkle- don't feel bad. don't feel like you're judging the judgers and thus a bad person. you're wondering why people must be this way, and that shows that you have care in your heart. just keep spreading YOUR kindness and hope that the people who are so hell-bent on critiquing others' lives will someday realize it's not going to get them anywhere positive or healthy.
 
#14
It can be annoying but I chalk it up to the fact that some people are just small minded :shrugs: it takes an open minded person to realize that just because someone isn't doing things the way they would it doesn't make them wrong nor right.
 
#15
ash14vwb said:
when i read, see, hear someone else's judgments on another, i think about the hurt, negativity, and unhealthiness that person is sending the other's way. i try to be so careful how i write things on this very site for that reason. no matter if you are trying to be helpful or flat out rude, openly judging someone can be very hurtful.

i have witnessed this, and believe me, i know that i judge others, too. however, i believe we must make every effort to be kind and gentle towards each other. no matter what you are thinking, everything must be done with tact and concern for another's feelings! in the end, i tihnk it comes down to treating each other with respect. when that involves "judging" - whether giving well-intended advice that carries a blatant judgment on another, or just being mean- we need to remember that there is someone on the receiving end, and how we would feel on that end. even if we wouldn't mind it- we need to be mindful of others; we are all in this thing together, after all. like Compass Rose said, i feel like we are out of touch with ourselves as humans. we have the power to be the most caring and humane of creatures and entirely misuse it. by doing the little things, like being careful how we put things, we are spreading kindness and the reminder that we care.

Twinkle- don't feel bad. don't feel like you're judging the judgers and thus a bad person. you're wondering why people must be this way, and that shows that you have care in your heart. just keep spreading YOUR kindness and hope that the people who are so hell-bent on critiquing others' lives will someday realize it's not going to get them anywhere positive or healthy.
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Amazing post! :hugs:
 
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