Homeless people asking for money

abbygirl

abbygirl

O.G.
Oct 22, 2006
1,255
1
#1
Funny thing happened today. My daughter and I were at a gas station and my daughter was putting gas in he lady parked next to us was in a beat up van and cursing up a storm because they had not turned on the pump. She went in twice to remind them, cussing all the way. You can tell by looking at her she was very poor.

The lady then came on the speaker and told my daughter she needed to go inside the store (we had already used the credit card at the pump). She goes in and they were just confused about something so my daughter comes back out to finish pumping the gas. She gets in the car and I said boy that lady is pissed, and she said well, they had to count the change she brought in for gas. It was $3 worth.

I then tell my daughter, hurry up and we would move away to another spot because we were going to meet someone there. My daughter said, Mom, she looks very poor, I should give her some money. I said no, because I felt as though this lady could go off at any minute.

So we move to our other spot to wait for our friend, and guess what? This guy pulls up in the most beat up truck I have ever seen right in front of us. I mean, the driver door when you open it, had nothing holding it together, the whole panel was missing. He goes into the store, comes out, and then comes to my window. I knew what he wanted and I was kinda scared to roll down my window. But I did. He wanted money for gas as he stated he ran out, he was homeless and hungry. My daughter then says tp him:

Are you going to use it for drugs? He says no. She asks: do you do drugs? He says no, but smokes pot :hysteric:. She then tells him, well i dont know about you, but I would say that that is a drug buddy. She also tells him, I will go buy you some food but I won't contribute to drugs. He's like, thats fine, I would really appreciate anything. She takes him into the store and they come out, and she gives him $10.

She ALWAYS gives her last dime to these homeless people, because she says they need it more than her. I should say that my daughter is not working but has a little money coming in and she was in rehab at her choice. And she told him that too, and that maybe he should try it.

Sorry this was so long, but I just thought it was funny that we moved away from a possible person asking for money to one that was even worse off. I have no problem helping folks, but I do have a problem when they only want cash and not food. I think they want it for drugs. Why else would you turn down food?
 
#3
Sometimes a small act of kindness can make a big difference in a person's life. It was nice of your daughter to help that man. I have not come across a homeless person where I live now but my friend in Florida often does. She will usually buy the person food. She might be driving and see a homeless person sitting (in public) and will stop for food and go back and ask the person if they are hungry and give them food. She has a kind heart and has done this so many times. She tries to collect things for the homeless shelters too. She works at a very high end department store and it just amazes her if she does a food or clothing drive hardley anyone will donate.
So I think some people will do things and others can't be bothered.
 
#4
Yes your daughter is very nice.

I once was driving home from the grocery store and this emaciated lady was begging on a corner. Stick thin, dirty and missing half her teeth. I didn't want to give any money (it would have gone for drugs) so I tried to hand her some food (some Lunchable or something like that). She turned it away and said she'd rather have money. I haven't given anything to any homeless person since then.
 
#5
Sad story... and I always feel guilty about seeing people like that and not giving. But I'm like you - I'm scared to roll my window down or approach them, and I think I'm scared with good reason because it seems like every day somebody else gets killed for "just trying to be nice"

Anyway, my co-worker told me a story about a family in a truck once who asked him for money in the parking lot of a hospital. They said they needed it for gas to get back to their home which was an hour away. My co-worker said he didn't have cash, but if they met him at the gas station he'd fill up their tank for them so they could get home.

The folks didn't even go to the gas station. Can you believe it? I'm sure it was a scam...
 
#6
I will never give a homeless person money but I always offer to buy them a meal- although sometimes they don't want it. I had one guy literally throw a meal back at me and tell me if it wasn't money he didn't want it. But it always makes me really happy when they do accept it- like they're genuinely in need and not just trying to get money for drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc. If someone (not necessarily homeless, sometimes just poor) asks for money for gas- I'll go inside and pay the cashier directly instead of handing them the actual cash.

My mom is extremely gullible and will buy any "I need money" story there is. We were on vacation once and this guy pointed to a gas station and said "See that grey van there? It's mine and it just died. Can you spare $20 for gas?" My mom gave him $10- even though I insisted it was a scam- and he kept asking other people for the rest. So I made her walk down to the gas station with me, and the whole way there (it was quite a walk) she lectured me about how we should always help those less fortunate than us. Well we asked the attendant about the van and she said it had been dropped off 3 weeks ago to be fixed and was never picked up. My mom (stupidly) marched right back to the guy and demanded her money back- not very safe! He gave it to her LOL! Luckily she has learned her lesson and now she'll insist on paying for it directly.
 
#7
Your daughter is a wonderful girl and i mean this in this best way possible- you could learn from her.

I almost always give to homeless people.. and it's not unusual i give about $5. The truth is- what am i going to do with it? Put it towards a $1500 handbag? Even if they do put it towards drugs at least it's helping them get by and stay positive for the moment. People are going to do what they're going to do, but quite frankly, it makes me happy to help someone and put a smile on their face. I think it's worth way more than most give it credit for. If it's the summer (warm enough to be walking around) i will often times ask if they feel like anything specific to eat and will get that too if they want it (and they almost always do.)

Also- Just because someone is homeless doesn't mean they have a drug or alcohol problem. There are many reasons people end up on the street, all of which are unfortunate.. and if it was your unfortunate luck and bad timing you'd want someone to help you out as well. I've talked to many homeless people in quite length and some of their stories are amazing.. and most very sad. Most are just trying to gather enough money to get home.
 
#8
i usually never give any money to homeless ppl cuz i dont think they will use it for the right thing. I will get them some food. Yesterday i was going to the drug store and there was a homeless guy sitting outside and he asked for change and i walked by but when i was inside i got him a choclate bar a big bag of doritos and when i went out i sad sorry i have no change on me but i bought u some stuff to eat. He was beyond happy and couldnt thank me enough. So i was happy that he appreciated.

One time in downtown some lady gave a homeless old man a sandwich and a coffee and he got so pissed he chucked them at her.
 
#9
sammydoll said:
Your daughter is a wonderful girl and i mean this in this best way possible- you could learn from her.

I almost always give to homeless people.. and it's not unusual i give about $5. The truth is- what am i going to do with it? Put it towards a $1500 handbag? Even if they do put it towards drugs at least it's helping them get by and stay positive for the moment. People are going to do what they're going to do, but quite frankly, it makes me happy to help someone and put a smile on their face. I think it's worth way more than most give it credit for. If it's the summer (warm enough to be walking around) i will often times ask if they feel like anything specific to eat and will get that too if they want it (and they almost always do.)
Click to expand...

o.k., where do you think she got her good heart???

My point is, we see homeless people on just about every street corner whereever we go. Literally, they are everywhere. When they choose not to accept food and only want money, I do have a problem with that. People with drug habits, could have a place to stay, get straight, eat healthy foods, help with a job, etc. if they chose to go into rehab. There are many many free places that will help. To me, they only want my money to continue their drug habits and I choose NOT to help them. People who accept food, I will always help out.

I give my clothes, (some brand new) and most are very expensive, along with food, to a rehabilation where my daughter was. I know what these girls go through and all the help they can get to get their lives together, so I am more than willing to do what I can. I recently threw a baby shower for one of them at the center, and bought all the food, decorations, and two huge bags of baby stuff for her newborn. I believe in helping those who help themselves.

I also have a problem with some of the "homeless" because they are scam artist and it is hard to determine who is truly in need. I hear ALL THE TIME from my friends that they get really angry when you offer them food instead of money. What an insult huh?

Again, I will help anyone who is willing to help themselves.
 
#11
I usually try to do something for homeless, if I have time to pick them up a hot meal I will, or I just give them $5. Even if they are scamming me I don't have to worry later that night if that person is going to sleep outside and be starving on top of that.
 
#12
abbygirl-
i'm sorry if i insulted you, that wasn't my intention.. and i certainly wasn't saying you don't have a good heart it was just the way you described her giving $10 to the guy

"She ALWAYS gives her last dime to these homeless people, because she says they need it more than her. I should say that my daughter is not working but has a little money coming in and she was in rehab at her choice. And she told him that too, and that maybe he should try it."

^^ that part.. that made me stop and be like- wait a minute. Because i think she sounds amazing and you sounded frustrated with her actions. That was all..

Also, as i said, not all homeless people are addicts and it's not as easy as you'd think for some of these people to find jobs. There are other serious problems out there besides addiction.

Anyway, it's good that you give and donate in other ways, anything helps, and it's all good karma. I'm just into the giving directly to the source thing because i believe very strongly in positivity and i like talking to everyone like they are just.. people. *shrugs* I feel like a homeless person is just as likely to lie to me than anyone, and for me it's easier to just have a little trust and faith. That's just what i find works best for me in my life, you know?

Again, sorry if i upset you:heart:
 
#14
Your daughter seems so intelligent and has a giving heart :smile:. I love that.

I also try to give to the homeless. I always give them cash because that has always been what I have readily available, but now that I think about it, I'll take you guys' advice and give them food instead. Sounds like a better plan! I'm shocked that some people didn't accept food! That makes me very sad and turns me off from giving...but at the same time, I realize many of them are truly in need, so I will keep giving :smile:.

I wouldn't want them using the money on drugs, but I wouldn't mind if they purchased pot with it...given they are already full and the pot doesn't make them less productive ;) but that's just me. I'll leave it at that.
 
#15
I work in downtown san francisco - chinatown to be exact. I pass numerous homeless people everyday - the same ones who ask me for money. My favorite is the guy who uses the pay phone and asks people for money WHILE still on the phone.

I will however, buy people a meal. If you ask for food and i have extra time, chances are i'll take you into mcdonalds or whatever and buy you food. I don't mind the food aspect. If someone is truly hungry and you offer food, hopefully they'll take it. /end my .02 cents
 
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