Have you ever cried over some online drama?

Demosthenes

Demosthenes

Member
Oct 17, 2006
1,391
3
#1
I just had this really embarassing meltdown, and while I'm not sobbing anymore, I'm just embarassed and shocked that something could affect me that much, especially since it was entirely online and over something really small.

I sell on this Live Journal community, and some poster had an item damaged in the mail and posted about it, causing a lot of people to jump to conclusions and assume I did it on purpose, etc. I read her email to me first, and told her that I was going to refund her AND send her a replacement, but when I saw that post I just started bawling. A lot of posters were so judgy and she was so mean to me.

I was with that community since 2004, and it felt like I was being stabbed in the back by my best friend. Their reaction to her post made me wonder why I even frequent that place. I just was so mad at her for not even waiting for me to reply before she posted about it publicly. I have perfect feedback, and I'm just so touchy with issues of integrity and trust that I think it really hit home.

I need to spend less time on the internet... but sadly, it's like my only form of communication.

Has anything like that happened to anyone else? Please don't let me be the only crazy one out here. :P
 
#2
Oh, yeah. I used to belong to a forum run by a (although I didn't know it at the time) Svengali-type guy (who I later found out was younger than my children) and he managed to turn the greater majority of the folks against me after he did a cut and paste of something I DIDN'T say, then went on to make up lies about that post.

Sadly, he was the forum owner, and could do this, ban people just because he didn't like them. Personally, I think he was threatened because so many people DID like me. When I read some of the things said before the official ban, I cried. For DAYS.

You know you are a good person honey. And I know it. Don't let some flake ruin your online life. If she can't even concieve of the idea that between you and her a BUNCH of people handled the item while it was being shipped, that's HER problem. And anyone with any brains who reads it should know that too.
 
#3
In my experience livejournal is a much more "raw" online forum, if that makes sense. I've actually had an interesting experience with TPF because I've been so used to the blunt, often rude, interactions on LJ that I find myself having to censor a lot of what I might immediately think to say on this forum. I've gotten into my fair share of "drama" on LJ and I think it just gave me a tougher skin, but I do remember in the beginning it was very hard not to take some of the insults personally (one of them found a picture of my dad and sad he looked like a child molester, while another creepy commenter somehow found my myspace and told me that his wife had much larger breasts than I did - eek). Since then I've removed all semblances of my "real life" from my LJ so that I can't receive personal attacks, and it's helped somewhat.

My advice is to take everything with a grain of salt - would these people be so harsh if they were speaking to you face to face? Of course not, so remember that they're only acting that way because it's easy to shoot nasty words into a keyboard. When things get out of hand, I like to remind people that I'm not a soulless entity on the internet, but a person with actual feelings who wants to be treated with respect. It's a friendly reminder that I think a lot of people need to hear constantly. Feel better though.
 
#5
heartnaspade said:
In my experience livejournal is a much more "raw" online forum, if that makes sense. I've actually had an interesting experience with TPF because I've been so used to the blunt, often rude, interactions on LJ that I find myself having to censor a lot of what I might immediately think to say on this forum. I've gotten into my fair share of "drama" on LJ and I think it just gave me a tougher skin, but I do remember in the beginning it was very hard not to take some of the insults personally (one of them found a picture of my dad and sad he looked like a child molester, while another creepy commenter somehow found my myspace and told me that his wife had much larger breasts than I did - eek). Since then I've removed all semblances of my "real life" from my LJ so that I can't receive personal attacks, and it's helped somewhat.

My advice is to take everything with a grain of salt - would these people be so harsh if they were speaking to you face to face? Of course not, so remember that they're only acting that way because it's easy to shoot nasty words into a keyboard. When things get out of hand, I like to remind people that I'm not a soulless entity on the internet, but a person with actual feelings who wants to be treated with respect. It's a friendly reminder that I think a lot of people need to hear constantly. Feel better though.
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I think I'm just used to being treated better, especially when I frequent positive places like tPF, LJ is like a slap in the face for me. I need a thicker skin. :P
 
#6
Not really. I don't let what people say about me online affect me very much. If I don't like something I say so. I've had posts misquoted at me or people misinterpreting things I say.

But this is just my computer, not my friends or my family or my work colleagues. I can turn it off and walk away.
 
#7
Demosthenes said:
I think I'm just used to being treated better, especially when I frequent positive places like tPF, LJ is like a slap in the face for me. I need a thicker skin. :P
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TPF is sooo much different than the majority of LJ communities, IMO. I remember I was in this fashion community on LJ and a girl posted pictures of her newly acquired LV heart coin purse, and everyone started bashing her that she would spend hundreds of dollars on something to put change in. Obviously that kind of treatment would never even be considered on TPF, which makes it such a more welcoming place.
 
#8
Oh yeah. A few years ago I belonged to a military wives community. There were 2 girls there that were just horrible. They would talk crap about everyone behind their backs, they would say nasty and catty things for no reason. It was worse than high school. A lot of people ending up leaving, myself included.

I hope you feel better!

Don't let it bother you. There are a lot of people on the Internet who jump to conclusions and are extremely judge mental. Some people say things just to be mean and nasty. Really they have nothing better to do!
 
#9
I just deleted my last post there, because some poster responded with an *eye roll*. I guess I couldn't even say goodbye to the place without getting attitude from someone.

scarlett, I tried military wife communities, but none of them ever worked for me. I wonder why we're so mean to each other... they're even more vicious than LJ. Thank god, none of it was ever directed at me, but I left all of them for the same reason you did.
 
#10
Is it .. against the rules to PM me the community? I love selling communities on LJ, and if you're participating in it.. then it must be a good one? Except for what's going on now..
 
#11
I have seen some real shockers on other forums! People are so rude - they bully and abuse other people and I just can't imagine why you would do/say something that you wouldn't say IRL!

tPF definitely has a different vibe to other forums, even ones with similar content, like Vogue or other purse forums. I think that, for a start, the rules are clearly defined. Secondly, and most importantly, I think etiquette is so well moderated that bad behaviour is immediately dealt with.

While there are still some incidents here and there, it's generally a lovely place to be. I have seen some rude comments and ganging up but, really, it's very well managed considering the breadth of the community!
 
#12
Demosthenes said:
scarlett, I tried military wife communities, but none of them ever worked for me. I wonder why we're so mean to each other... they're even more vicious than LJ. Thank god, none of it was ever directed at me, but I left all of them for the same reason you did.
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I agree. I have been on a few military wife "support" forums and they can be scary places. :cursing:
 
#13
Ugh, that's horrible!

I just got upset about something...some girl was posting all over the place that she was with my bf and how much he was into her, and calling me terrible names (I distinctly remember her friend saying on her blog that I needed to have some "work done" among other horrible things). It really upset me because I never thought I was a beauty queen or anything but I didn't think I looked THAT tragic. I know it was just their way of lashing out at me for being with the guy that this girl wanted but still, it hurt.
 
#14
meggiew00t said:
Is it .. against the rules to PM me the community? I love selling communities on LJ, and if you're participating in it.. then it must be a good one? Except for what's going on now..
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It's not really a selling community, just a community devoted to a brand that allows sales. But I'll PM you anyway (Is this against the rules? Stop me if it is!)...
 
#15
If someone wrongs you once...it's THEIR fault.

If someone wrongs you twice...it's YOUR fault.

I say, just quietly walk away. Your too good to allow that in your life.

(You too rebecca, sweetie!)
 
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