I need advice pls!

maryg1

maryg1

K in a circle
O.G.
Aug 29, 2006
7,163
4,443
#1
I've moved with by BF 7 months ago, we have a small apartment with a nice, medium garden. I love, really love dogs and I always keep telling my BF I want to adopt one.
I prefer big dogs, but since our apartment is sooo small and I'd like to bring my dog with us when we're on vacation, I thought that a small dog would bring me as much joy and love as a big one!
To make a long story short, I asked my BF if we could adopt our first dog and he said NO! He loves animals as much as me, he always had dogs during his life (his last one has passed away 2 months ago), but he says that we have to get more into our routine before adopting, that it would be alone most of the day since I work far (but my BF is usually at home in the morning or in the afternoon). What would you do? Do any of you has a dog AND works away from home? I go away at 8.00 am and come back not before 6.30 pm, on Thursday afternoon I'm always at home, same for nights and weekends.
I'm afraid he won't change idea:crybaby:
 
#2
When we first got my pooch,we got her in the middle of the summer so my brother and I (we were home from school) could take care of her...but it's not sounding like you have kids lol so...

I would just wait it out for him for a while since he "wants to get in a routine." Soon enough, you'll HAVE to be in some sort of routine. You can also always adopt an older dog that can handle being alone for some of the day, and maybe consider getting a puppy at another time.

Good luck, let us know how it goes!!
 
#3
I think getting into a routine first is a great idea! Moving to a new house is stressful enough for a dog. If you have the stress of new routines going on as well, that's not fair to you or the dog. Once you feel settled, it might be worth looking into a rescue. Many of them are house trained, but will probably need one break during your longer days (maybe paper training or a dog walker to help on those days). The only other thing is you'll want to consider is the breed and independence. Some breeds do better with being alone all day better than others. Granted that doesn't guarantee anything, but it may help. The other thing to think about is if you feel guilty leaving the dog alone is keeping an eye out for neighbors with dogs in similar size. Maybe you can work something out where the dogs can hang out together during the day so it's not so lonely. (or there's always the option of another dog :graucho:)
 
#4
I can understand where you are coming from. My on and off b/f (don't ask!) live separately, but we were talking about marriage, moving in and all that and the topic of a dog came up. I wanted one, he didn't until after having kids, to teach them responsibility. Needless to say, I didn't listen to his request for me not to get a dog until we (or if) get married. My little guy is going on 9 months now and b/f still doesn't really like him. He thinks he is annoying and is jealous of him, even though he does not mind my cat or other animals. He calls him Master Charlie and is just irritable about him in general, saying he is still getting used to the dog.

What about more talking about his objections, b/c it has been close to a year living together or even going to a shelter together? That may make him budge when he sees the dogs that need homes.
 
#5
We spoke about it again yesterday evening, and I tried to do my best to convince him but no, no way. he keeps telling me that, since most of houseworks and other stuff are still on my shoulders, taking care of a dog would add more stress to me.
 
#6
I can totally see his point of view if he's never really lived with (or been) a dog lover before. I wish there was a way to teach those that don't hold dogs as family members how much they mean to us. Sure, it's more work and some stress, but the payoff is HUGE and wonderful! Pet owners have lower blood pressure. I know I am a happier person when I have a dog in my life and know several people like that. Good luck on things. I hope they work out for the best for everyone.
 
#7
Hon, I'm sorry but I agree with your BF - you really should wait. It isn't fair for the dog to stay home alone all day, and having a routine is a big deal to the pet's well being too. I hope all goes well with you and your BF settling in!
All the best!
 
#8
maryg1 said:
We spoke about it again yesterday evening, and I tried to do my best to convince him but no, no way. he keeps telling me that, since most of houseworks and other stuff are still on my shoulders, taking care of a dog would add more stress to me.
Click to expand...

Just out of curiosity - why is most of the housework still on your shoulders if work all day, while you said your boyfriend was home either in the morning or afternoon? Honestly it doesn't sound like adding a dog to your family would be the absolut best thing based on your schedule, but it also sounds like your boyfriend isn't being fair to you. Maybe you could ask him to contribute to doing housework while he's at home, which would give you more time to spend on the dog? You should be aware, however, that a puppy will need to be let out a few times during the day, and really shouldn't be left alone in a crate for more than a few hours. An older, housebroken dog may be able to be alone for a little bit longer, but it still isn't very fair to them if they're by themselves for hours on end, 5 days a week (you'd get lonely and bored too, wouldn't you?).

It sounds like you would be a great owner if you had the time, and so I hope sometime in the near future you get the opportunity. I know it can be very hard to wait, especially when you want one so badly, but try to be patient. It'll be worth it! :heart:
 
#9
rothjess said:
I can totally see his point of view if he's never really lived with (or been) a dog lover before. I wish there was a way to teach those that don't hold dogs as family members how much they mean to us.
Click to expand...
actually, HE's the one that has always had dogs, his last one died 2 months ago.
 
#10
heartnaspade said:
Just out of curiosity - why is most of the housework still on your shoulders if work all day, while you said your boyfriend was home either in the morning or afternoon? Honestly it doesn't sound like adding a dog to your family would be the absolut best thing based on your schedule, but it also sounds like your boyfriend isn't being fair to you. Maybe you could ask him to contribute to doing housework while he's at home, which would give you more time to spend on the dog?
Click to expand...
My BF does help me a lot, but while I'm an employee working 37 hours/week, he's a free-lance so when he's at home he's just working from home!
thank you all girls for your advice, I really appreciate them!:heart:
 
#11
maryg1 said:
actually, HE's the one that has always had dogs, his last one died 2 months ago.
Click to expand...

I'm so sorry for his loss. I wonder if that's part of it? Depending on how close he was to his dog, it might be too soon for him. Maybe he's afraid to admit it? :shrugs:
I lost my girl a month ago and I have a feeling I will not be ready for another dog for at least a few more months.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top
Back