my friend borrowed my bbag...

[shoe gal]

and now its stained!! agh! i am so distressed!

i am usually very careful with letting friends borrow my bags. well, sometimes its awkward saying no, and my friend asked to borrow one of my bbags. i let her use my vert d'eau first and we went out for brunch...i soon realized what a mistake i had made. she never takes care of her bags (they are always in terrible shape) and she is just careless in general. she first put the bbag on the floor of my car! i was very tense during brunch and hinted a few times that maybe we should grab another bag when we went back to my apartment. in the end, she took it to the mall, then gave it bag to me before she went to the salon for the rest of the day.

even so--i was about to put my first in its dustbag when i found a huge black stain on the bag! one of the handles also looks slightly blackened. i have no idea what caused the stain. i am going to try to treat it with apple care as soon as it arrives, but---

would you confront your friend if she did this to your bbag? would you have her pay for the treatment? if it can't be fixed, would you swallow the cost or have her pay for the damage/a new one?

i know its unfair to ask someone to buy a $1000 handbag, but if she was willing to carry it in the first place knowing how expensive and delicate the color is, should i hold her responsible?

and how do you approach someone about this??

 

[Bella]

I'm sorry you're bag is stained now. Hope you're able to clean it.

It's really up to you how you handle this, whether you confront your friend or not. If I were you, I would take it as a lesson learned and not let anyone borrow my bags in the future. These things happen when you start borrowing and lending out your things, so I just don't do it. I love my friends, but what's mine is mine and what's theirs is theirs.

 

[glossie]

oh mannn. this is delicate. sorry to hear what happened to your bag. she's your friend, do you think she's the type to deny her part in this? you really oughtta thrash it out with her asap even if it's to ask her to bear the cleaning costs only, no?

i'm guessing you're not good with confrontation. you probably was too soft to reject her request in the first place. being willing to carry an expensive bag and being responsible for the bag that doesn't belong to her are not the same. i hope you sort this out soon. it does you no good to harbour any resentment in you ultimately.

 

[bern]

Nothing good can happen in a thread titled "My friend borrowed my bbag"!!!

I personally wouldn't expect a friend to replace a $1000 bag, unless we had agreed beforehand that if it was damaged it would be either fixed or replaced. In saying that, I wouldn't have let her borrow it in the first place.

Tough call... just remember that this is the type of thing that ends friendships

Good luck!

 

[peppy]

I agree with glossie, you're probably not good with confrontation, so I'm not sure what's going to happen if you do ask your friend for compensation. I hope she's a responsible person and wouldn't deny that it's her doing. Hopefully all works out well between the two of you. But whatever the outcome, if I were you, I'd never let her (or anyone else) borrow my bags again. It's not being mean, but it's to avoid the unpleasant situations like this.

 

[shoe gal]

i think i'm going to approach it from the angle of asking her where she had put the bag or what it could have come in contact with...i think it may be an ink stain that spread, judging by how it looks now. just so i can put it in her court as to if she offers to buy the cleaning products, etc.

i don't expect her to buy an entirely new bag (its not like this one is defunct now!) but...i guess i just want her to know what happened. she should be aware of how careful she needs to be with things, especially when they don't belong to her. :s

i definitely learned my lesson! never again!

 

[jen2586]

hmm yes that's tough. i don't even like it when my friends touch my designer bags without asking. i wouldn't lend a designer bag to a friend, especially friends who don't normally own expensive bags - they just don't understand. having said that, i think approaching it from the angle of what might have caused it is a good approach... after knowing what caused the stain, you'd have a better idea of how to go about cleaning it too. see if she offers to pay for the cleaning and see whether she is apologetic about it (prob not since she didn't tell u about the stain until you had to find out for yourself)... and maybe tell her that you are someone who is generally careful with things, and that you love your bags. it meant a lot for you to lend it to her in the first place, and that you expected her to treat a $1000 bag well especially since it doesn't belong to her

 

[rainie_ma]

oh no ..
i will be damn mad ...
however what is done is done , i ever lent a laptop to my friend and she spoil it too. well even if u request her to replace i new one i think she will not.
so if i was u , i will just go and talk to her nicely , and point to her about what she have done. see what she reaction first.
well if she a nice friend , even she cant afford ,she will try what she can help, but if she deny , u maybe jus need to forget but not forgive.
take the lesson ...

 

[flyvetjo]

I think i would just swallow it and NEVER let her borrow a bag again! i wouldn't let anyone borrow my bags. Does she know how much these bags are worth? If so I'm surprised she's wanted to borrow one in the first place.

 

[fashion-cult]

I think i would just swallow it and NEVER let her borrow a bag again! i wouldn't let anyone borrow my bags. Does she know how much these bags are worth? If so I'm surprised she's wanted to borrow one in the first place.

I agree 100% with this post.

Its very very unfortunate, but a lesson... and a costly one at that.

In future, because you are obviously a person who doesnt like confrontation, this gives a classic example that you can provide of why you do not want to lend your bags to ANY of your friends again.

Hope she cleans up ok

 

[madamestuff]

I don't think I can offer much help except to wish you and your poor bag the best of luck! I hope your friend is receptive and supportive to an amicable solution (and I do think you should at least talk to her about it).

 

[HandbagAddict4Ever]

This is tricky but I would just try and repair the bag myself. If you know she is careless with her own bags then maybe it wasn't such a great idea to lend her your bag...but for her to not respect someone else's bag regardless of the value is not a kind, "friendly" thing to do. I am really sorry this happened and I hope you able to fix your BBag. Goodluck!

 

[Gonatcha]

I would definitely not just swallow it and forget about the hole thing.
If you are really good friends then this shouldn't be impossible to sort out, and you shouldn't feel scared to approach her. If I were you I would make her pay for the treatment.

 

[phebe]

Nothing good can happen in a thread titled "My friend borrowed my bbag"!!!

I personally wouldn't expect a friend to replace a $1000 bag, unless we had agreed beforehand that if it was damaged it would be either fixed or replaced. In saying that, I wouldn't have let her borrow it in the first place.

Tough call... just remember that this is the type of thing that ends friendships

Good luck!

ITA.
I'm so sorry for what happened to your bag. I hope you'll be able to fix it.
But dipends how much you love your frined. As Bern said, this is one thing that can end your friendship if you handle it in the wrong way

 

[pdawg78]

Here comes the mom lecture (boo hiss get out of my room)....I have 2 girls (19 and 22) and this is what I would tell them. You lent the bag, you are responsible for your actions...period. Obviously, it was an accident, don't let it ruin your friendship. I agree with the others, hard lesson learned, don't lend anything that is precious to you...you are only asking for trouble.