My rant-Money does NOT equal snobbiness!

chicbabacool

chicbabacool

Member
May 31, 2007
1,172
0
#1
I posted a few months ago about my job at a Broadway-level performing arts center. It's a very cliquey environment and I did my best to fit in at first. After getting the message that those people don't want to be my friends I stopped trying. I'm not cold, but I'm stopped going out of my way to make friends since I got sick of being rebuffed constantly. Also, for me my work and my personal life are completely separate. I've seen it get nasty too many times.

So today my boss kept me after to talk about the "distance" between me and the other student employees. I told her how the student manager was treating me differently than the other student employees and holding me to double standards. She agreed with me on that and is going to talk to him. But as far as the other students employees go, HER take on the situation was completely different: My taste in fashion is TOO expensive. Yes, that's right. Apparently I have aliented the other students because I wear lacoste tennis shirts and designer jeans to work. I only wear my CLs occasionally, and they're the black simple pumps! I usually wear my Gucci loafers or black flats and they don't have monograms all over them so there's no way any of them would know they were designer. The other students wear T-shirts and ripped jeans with flip-flops and the student managers rarely wear polo shirts. I take pride in my appearance and believe that since I work in the box office I am a representative of the arts center and the link between patrons and the center. Therefore I should look the part.

Well, needless to say I disagreed with her but I was instructed to no longer talk about my clothing. I think it's ridiculous. She said that how I dress makes the other students 'uncomfortable' because they can't afford the same level of clothing.

My boyfriend always chides me that you'd never know I was wealthy because usually I'm in my birkis and T-shirts and I don't ever talk about my money. As far as how much I could spend on clothing and accessories, I'm actually quite prudent. So I was shocked when I was basically told that my clothing choices made other people think I was snobby and that I was basically responsible. I only wear nice clothes to work. Since I'm a college student I usually wear sweatpants and sneakers to class!

Why didn't they just take the chance to get to know me? Instead they judged me and assumed that I'm a snob when I'm anything but. (Although after reading this post it looks like it I'm really not and my close friends vary in levels of SES).

Ugh, this is just a rant because I am sick of people thinking that if you wear nice clothes you're a snob. It may be true that lots of snobs wear nice clothes but I've never felt so judged or stereotyped before. I hate that there's a double standard where it's ok to talk about how broke you are and how cheap you bought your clothes but if you're well dressed you deserve to be held after work and chastised for it.
 
#3
la miss said:
Did you talk to the other student employees about your clothing and maybe they got jealous?
Click to expand...

The only thing I ever talked about was the ridiculous saga of my Gucci loafers. I only mentioned that they were Gucci and I never said the price. I've never talked about my clothing specifically. I've mentioned my shopping trips to Neiman Marcus/Somerset mall but never the price of anything or what I bought. Just that I was planning on going. Actually, I take it back. I said privately to my one friend/coworker (a warm and hilarious gay man) how much my Chloe bag and wedges were because he asked. But he and I became friends fast back in the spring and he isn't in the clique that is cold to me so that's irrelevant.
 
#4
Im sorry that you are having to go through this, You should be able to wear the clothes that YOU want to wear without being judged... They are just jealous and they need to grow up. You have tried to be their friend and they wouldnt allow it because of your clothes??? Give me a break... I would try not to let it bother me to much.
 
#5
If you drop names like Gucci and Neimans in casual conversation, you are kinda asking for trouble even though you don't mean it that way. In my experience, the best approach is to avoid drawing attention to that kind of thing.

Some of my classic responses to where did you get that/how much did you pay for that:

Oh I bought this online. (don't mention the name of the store)
How much did it cost? Oh I got it on sale. (don't mention the actual price)
I had to sell a kidney to buy these (again don't mention the price)
My mom gives me her hand me downs.
When talking about designer clothes, I might say I think they are made in Italy (don't mention they are Prada, Gucci etc...)

I only talk about my shopping habit with people who won't feel bad because they can't afford to spend so much.
 
#6
la miss said:
If you drop names like Gucci and Neimans in casual conversation, you are kinda asking for trouble even though you don't mean it that way. In my experience, the best approach is to avoid drawing attention to that kind of thing.

Some of my classic responses to where did you get that/how much did you pay for that:

Oh I bought this online. (don't mention the name of the store)
How much did it cost? Oh I got it on sale. (don't mention the actual price)
I had to sell a kidney to buy these (again don't mention the price)
My mom gives me her hand me downs.
When talking about designer clothes, I might say I think they are made in Italy (don't mention they are Prada, Gucci etc...)

I only talk about my shopping habit with people who won't feel bad because they can't afford to spend so much.
Click to expand...
I have to agree w/ la miss. I know it sucks & seems unfair but people can be really touchy about money. My guess is that if you just wore the lacoste polos & designer jeans it probably would have been okay. But once you mention specific names like Gucci or NM things can go downhill fast. Again I am not saying its fair, it just seems to be the way it goes.:shrugs:

La Miss has some really good answers to the uncomfortable questions.

I try to stay away from money/designer topics w/ people unless I know them REALLY well. Often times I don't even talk to members of my family about it because THEY get prickly & jealous.

Sorry work is kinda crappy but I would steer clear of mentioning designer anything.
 
#7
Nope it doesn't.....I've known people who didn't have a pot to piss in and they are/were very b*tchy. It's all it the personality. Hey, here's the thing...you work hard for what you have. Congrats on your accomplishments. People should be happy for you, they may just be jealous, why else would they care what brand your shoes are.
 
#8
la miss said:
If you drop names like Gucci and Neimans in casual conversation, you are kinda asking for trouble even though you don't mean it that way. In my experience, the best approach is to avoid drawing attention to that kind of thing.

Some of my classic responses to where did you get that/how much did you pay for that:

Oh I bought this online. (don't mention the name of the store)
How much did it cost? Oh I got it on sale. (don't mention the actual price)
I had to sell a kidney to buy these (again don't mention the price)
My mom gives me her hand me downs.
When talking about designer clothes, I might say I think they are made in Italy (don't mention they are Prada, Gucci etc...)

I only talk about my shopping habit with people who won't feel bad because they can't afford to spend so much.
Click to expand...

I completely agree with this post.

I'm going through the same thing as you right now with my coworkers. Some of them think I'm a snob because I have expensive taste. It's best to just not talk about it because name dropping (Gucci, Neiman's, etc) opens up the opportunity for other people to judge you. Just ignore the haters and stick to talking about work related subjects.
 
#9
la miss said:
Oh I bought this online. (don't mention the name of the store)
How much did it cost? Oh I got it on sale. (don't mention the actual price)
I had to sell a kidney to buy these (again don't mention the price)
My mom gives me her hand me downs.
When talking about designer clothes, I might say I think they are made in Italy (don't mention they are Prada, Gucci etc...)
.
Click to expand...
I pretty much give the same responses. I'm by no means wealthy but co-workers do not shop at neimans (my fav store) and some never even heard of it. I learned to downplay clothes, handbags. Thats why I love TPF, we have so much in common here!:tup:
 
#10
Thanks so for your support. I am going to be much more careful about what I say from now on. I am just really frustrated because if anyone had a problem with me about my clothes why didn't they say it to me. For them to go behind my back (I'm not surprised) and say something to my manager about it is childish. Most of us are 22 and I feel like my work environment is on the level of high school.

I'm sorry, but If people are that insecure about what I'M wearing I think that's extremely petty. I am a very outgoing and friendly person and I felt like this clique was snobby to me from the beginning. I'm pissed because I consider myself to be appropriately dressed for my job. Not to mention that I'm actually following our dress code and none of them do. When Wicked came for 2 weeks I was the only person who dressed according to Broadway dress code: Button Down shirts, slacks or skirts and nice shoes.

So I guess that's what I'm REALLY pissed about. I dress appropriately for the environment in which I work and they do not. Maybe I draw attention to the fact that they don't dress according to the dress code and that's why they don't like me.

Thank you so much for allowing me to vent. I love this place because there's so many people here who I knew would understand and had possibly been in similar circumstances.
 
#11
It is true that the gap between have and have not in the US right now is extremely wide, and getting wider, and bridging it is an increasingly difficult feat, and not really something that sounds like it is technically supposed to be in your job description. :smile:

Why not look for a job where you will feel more comfortable, and have a better chance of being around other people who share your interest in - and ability to purchase - designer clothing?
 
#12
I agree with la miss and you should be careful about your guy friend. I would not be surprised if he did not report back what you told him about your Chloe bag and wedges. He does not have to like his co-workers to talk about you. Stick to the weather and always give vague answers. If you want to talk about something fab, come here :*)
 
#13
What a shame that you can't enjoy your clothes or talking about them with any of your coworkers. I think many of us have the same problem and that's why The Purse Forum is a haven for us. But I'm not sure if it has to do with money. I have friends who are wealthier than I am that get upset when I spend $$ on a bag or shoes, and a lot of coworkers making a comfortable salary that would have kittens if they knew how much I spent on a Chanel bag or Hermes scarf. I just don't understand why people are so judgemental about clothes.
 
#14
I have just a couple of other things to say about this.

It seems like they are being more than a little unfair to you, not only, as mentioned before, to hire you to do one thing and then suddenly appear to add this rather large additional duty, namely this gap-bridging thing, to say the least, unrealistic, and frankly not something really related to the business.

And if they do feel that it is related to the business, then asking one employee not to talk about her designer clothing is hardly going to bridge that gap. If they wanted to be in the gap-bridging business, they should have instituted a designer-free dress code and told you about it when you went for the first interview.

At this late date, even if you cease discussing your clothing, I don't see how that is likely to improve relations between you and your fellow employees.

So it seems like you are being put in this sort of impossible position that is not going to get any better, and not going to make your job a very pleasant place to spend your time.

It is hard to see how this is going to turn into a good situation for you. Life is short, and very uncertain. Cut your losses and go elsewhere.
 
#15
chicbabacool said:
I am just really frustrated because if anyone had a problem with me about my clothes why didn't they say it to me. For them to go behind my back (I'm not surprised) and say something to my manager about it is childish. Most of us are 22 and I feel like my work environment is on the level of high school.

I'm sorry, but If people are that insecure about what I'M wearing I think that's extremely petty. I am a very outgoing and friendly person and I felt like this clique was snobby to me from the beginning. I'm pissed because I consider myself to be appropriately dressed for my job. Not to mention that I'm actually following our dress code and none of them do. When Wicked came for 2 weeks I was the only person who dressed according to Broadway dress code: Button Down shirts, slacks or skirts and nice shoes.

So I guess that's what I'm REALLY pissed about. I dress appropriately for the environment in which I work and they do not. Maybe I draw attention to the fact that they don't dress according to the dress code and that's why they don't like me.
Click to expand...

I was just reading this thread and thinking they got pissed your clothes and shoes were nicer than theirs and told on you? :roflmfao: I'm sorry, but those people need a life. I have nice things and I've noticed in enviroments with people around my age, I'm 20, they jealous easily and tend to have this tude of "If I can't afford it, I don't think anyone else can."
 
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