HELP ! Feel like I'm having a mid life crisis at 17

divadarlinn

divadarlinn

Member
Jul 17, 2006
221
0
#1
Hi ladies. I have a career related dilemma. I'm 17, will be 18 in a month and I don't know exactly what I want to do and I don't want to be one of those people that are 40 and still "finding themselves" and are completely unstable financially. I hear about people as young as 20 that own their own homes and have their own multi million dollar companies and other young people that have their lives together I feel like I'm just not on the right track and should be doing more. I can see myself working in fashion as either a buyer,stylist,publicist or a fashion editor but then I can see myself as a makeup artist and at the same time I would like working in the music industry as a&r or a celebrity publicist...can you see how confused I am? lol I have been trying to figure out which one of these I would like to pursue forever now and I feel like I'm not doing anything to work towards one of these careers.I also would love to have my own company (ex: taysha velez, www.myspace.com/beautymoguls) I want to be young and successful...by the time i'm 22 I want to have a home ,car,etc and be financially stable, I want to be able to have all the fabulous purses we talk about on here! lol. Any advice? I feel like all the good internships are reserved for college juniors and seniors.What should I be doing to be where I want to be in life?
ANY INPUT WOULD BE APPRECIATED!


Thanks
 
#2
But you're still so young and just STARTING to figure out what you want to do in life....everyone reaches success at one point in their life, don't worry about "having it all" so early. Enjoy yourself, and focus on schoolwork and it will all come! Don't throw it all away like the Hollywood celebs do on drugs and alcohol...that'll definitely keep you on the right track.

I'm 15 and also kinda worried I won't be able to choose a major, and after I do, I'll suck at it. But I remind myself it's still really early, and I have time to choose. And even if I make a mistake, I'll stick it out and start over if I have to. I'll get it in the end ;)
 
#3
divadarlinn said:
I'm 17, will be 18 in a month and I don't know exactly what I want to do...
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Oh my dear, you have plenty of time to figure it out! You already have great ideas about what you like, and what types of things you enjoy. What you need to do is find out how to put those into one fab package! Are you starting college this fall? Take intro courses in the areas you like - then find your way into a major/degree. The areas you mentioned fall in a variety of categories: Business Admin, Fashion Merchandising, Communications...also, you can visit your career center for information on career testing, exploration of various fields, and even find internships!

I hear about people as young as 20 that own their own homes and have their own multi million dollar companies and other young people that have their lives together I feel like I'm just not on the right track and should be doing more.
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These people are NOT the norm, and likely had a very unique product, an incredible connection to get them started, or a trust fund!:P Seriously, don't compare yourself to anyone else but you! I learned a long time ago, that I did not live the lives of 'those people' and thus, could not be held to the same standard. You'll find yourself....give it time.

I always tell students that putting yourself on this imaginary, unattainable timeline of "I have to have ____ by the time I'm _____" is a recipe for failure and much unneeded stress (and premature grey hair!).
 
#4
You have alot of life to live and lessons to learn before you place such a big burden on "what or how you should live your life and how you should have so and so by some magic age" That is not the real world.
The first thing you need to do is get some education where you can learn and mature and get a feel of what is out there. These glamourous careers don't just drop in your lap. You have to work to achieve them. 100 people may all want the same job. So to me a good education will start you on your first step. Internships can help you make connections. I have some friends in high fashion/ music and business careers but it took them years of hard work and 4-6 years of college behind them just to start.....Now 10+ years later they are pretty set and able to pick and choose what they want. But without the education it would have been impossible for them to get their foot in the door to the jobs they first had and then moved on to. Also most of the careers you talk about seem to be related to jobs that are in major cities and since you are in NY you will probably have more opportunities to a variety of areas you seem to like. Relax and try to enjoy what lies ahead. It is not a race.
Goos luck.
 
#6
Don't measure your own successes and perceived failures by what others do or by what you think you should do. You have plenty of time.

If you have a house, a car, financial stability and have your own company by 22 what do you have to look forward to? These stories are the exception, not the norm.

Find out what you want to do and do it on your own terms. Good luck!
 
#7
divadarlinn said:
....and at the same time I would like working in the music industry as a&r or a celebrity publicist...
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Ag! Do anything but this! (half joking here). I was in the music business for almost half my life. It ain't what its all cut out to be and has changed drastically since I started in the early 80s. People always say they want to be in the music biz but there are so many aspects to it they don't really have a clear idea of what it is they want to do. Personally I pursued sales and marketing and was very successful at it. But man you deal with a lot of huge egos and its not for the faint hearted. And being a celeb publicist :throwup: get ready to kiss alot of hiney.
I completely changed careers at 39 and am happier than I've ever been so don't try to plan too far into the future. You are going to grow and change and reform your ideas of what it is thats going to fullfill your life so just take it one day at a time. I really like the "millionaire" question that asks, "if you did not have to work again a day in your life, what would you do with your time?" and the answer is most likely what path you should pursue professionally. To me, it sounds like fashion, stylist, makeup artist would probably give you alot more satisfaction, especially since its the thing you mentioned first. Just keep in mind, celebs are a PITA, even the "nice" ones - lots of high maintenance and treating their "employees" like crap and some people don't mind doting on them - I was just not one of those people. But you have time to test the waters of whatever interests you so the main thing is just don't be afraid to try new things and loosen up your time-tables a little. Trust the process and time it takes and don't measure your success by how much $ you have in the bank or how many bags you have. That can come in time. Measure success by how good you are at what you do and how much people respect you.
Good luck.:tup:
 
#8
woah woah woah. you're getting way ahead of yourself here. slow down, real life is a long way off. right NOW, you should be focused on going to college. when you get there, if you're not sure what you want to do, you should use your core classes as an opportunity to take classes in a lot of different departments and experiment with your different options. when i came to college, i knew exactly what i wanted to do, i had it all planned out, i was set.

well guess what? 3 and a half years of college later, the experiences that i've had have completely and entirely changed my plans. i got a random, part-time job at Best Buy to pay for a speeding ticket and suddenly the girl that got a 1500 on her SAT and has known she was going to go to law school since she was 8 wants to work for Best Buy for the rest of her life (not in the retail part forever, obviously). turns out, when i finally got here, i didn't really like my major and i DID like a job i wasn't really supposed to.

all of the jobs you mentioned are jobs that you have to work for. they're not things you start doing when you're 18, so now, you should be going to college and looking for internships. internships are a great way to get your feet wet and find out what certain lines of work are REALLY like (as bagnshoo said, a lot of highly glamorized professions like the ones you mentioned are a lot different in reality than the expectation). a court system internship is what made me realize law school was not a good idea for me.

expecting yourself to have a house and career by 22 is setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. just because you take your life at a normal pace and give yourself the opportunity to decide what you really want to do does NOT mean you're going to be unhappy or financially insecure for your entire life, and equating the two is doing yourself a disservice. at that age, i was anxious to get ahead of myself and be an adult already, but you get to be an adult and live with the decisions you make for a LONG time. enjoy yourself now and take the time that you need in order to make the right ones.

i just reread your post - do not WORRY about getting the 'good' internships. get ANY internship. cash in favors from family friends. do whatever you have to. get coffee for the people that get coffee for the important people. the people that you talk about that are so successful at a young age are successful because they opened themselves up to the opportunities that presented themselves - i guarantee you they weren't dissuaded by the 'good' internships going to older, more experienced people. if you wait around for the perfect chance, you'll miss all the really really good ones.
 
#9
My advice is go to college full time taking general courses and as you grow and mature you will figure out what degree you want to get. A college education is a must in my opinion.....all the rest will follow.
Enjoy your youth. When your in your 30's you'll wish you did.
 
#10
Oh my goodness....at 17 you're fretting about owning your own home, and business, and multimillions by 20? You are surely setting yourself up for some extreme heartache and stress. Like someone else said, those stories are 1 in a kajillion-billion and are extreeeeeme exceptions to the norm. They are simply not realistic goals for 99.9% of the population.

Slow down and concentrate on your next step, which is your college education. Via the process of taking classes and exploring different subject matters, you'll probably find your interests narrowing, funneling you into a more specific career area. And even if you don't find that happening during your college career, don't worry. MANY college grads find themselves in that situation and use their post-college years to explore different career experiences. Heck, I'm well into my 30s and am still figuring out what I want to be when I grow up!

The thing is, your life is a JOURNEY. There is no ultimate be-all, end-all, must-have scenario and the BEST thing you can do for yourself is to find a way to enjoy the ride. Don't be so hard on yourself, set *realistic* goals. As long as you are responsible and motivated, you're almost guaranteed success in some form or another.

Oh, and one more thing. PLEASE enjoy being 17! You're so young and have the whole world ahead of you and you're already worrying yourself to pieces. Enjoy the wonderfulness that is youth -- a young, healthy body, youthful attractiveness, optimisim, and LOTS of energy! Savor every moment of your youth, it's a precious time.
 
#11
KristyDarling said:
Oh my goodness....at 17 you're fretting about owning your own home, and business, and multimillions by 20? You are surely setting yourself up for some extreme heartache and stress. Like someone else said, those stories are 1 in a kajillion-billion and are extreeeeeme exceptions to the norm. They are simply not realistic goals for 99.9% of the population.

Slow down and concentrate on your next step, which is your college education. Via the process of taking classes and exploring different subject matters, you'll probably find your interests narrowing, funneling you into a more specific career area. And even if you don't find that happening during your college career, don't worry. MANY college grads find themselves in that situation and use their post-college years to explore different career experiences. Heck, I'm well into my 30s and am still figuring out what I want to be when I grow up!

The thing is, your life is a JOURNEY. There is no ultimate be-all, end-all, must-have scenario and the BEST thing you can do for yourself is to find a way to enjoy the ride. Don't be so hard on yourself, set *realistic* goals. As long as you are responsible and motivated, you're almost guaranteed success in some form or another.

Oh, and one more thing. PLEASE enjoy being 17! You're so young and have the whole world ahead of you and you're already worrying yourself to pieces. Enjoy the wonderfulness that is youth -- a young, healthy body, youthful attractiveness, optimisim, and LOTS of energy! Savor every moment of your youth, it's a precious time.
Click to expand...
I couldn't agree more. Enjoy the time you have before working and get an education. Don't stress and enjoy!!
 
#12
MARRY RICH!

kidding.

Trust me, you are not the only 17-18 y/o who doesnt know what they want to be "when they grow up" so to speak. Quit stressin girl! Theres no rush, you have your whole life ahead of you. I assure you, if you are motivated...you will not be a 40 y/o loser. Its NOT, NOT, NOT the norm to have all the the things you mentioned by the time you hit 20!
Heres a fun fact that I found...57% of children aged 20-24 still live at home. Girl, calm down and have fun...but at the same time-keep a good head on your shoulders and stay motivated. Nothing happens before its time.
 
#13
Relax and enjoy things!:yes: I wish I had more! I felt similarly at 17, but the most important piece of advice I can give 6 years later is to go to a good college and explore your options. I was sure I wanted certain career paths but college allowed me to better understand my interests and see options that I had not known existed before. Going to a good college will open doors to success in all kinds of career paths.
 
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