PART 2 Come join the 50-ish-plus Club! (age, not # of bags)

I'm so sorry to hear about your surgery, Elaine. That must have been harrowing. But I'm glad to hear you're safe at home. And I hope your DH is pampering you and taking care of you with all the love, good food, and general perks you deserve!

My life the past 8 months has been devoted to keeping my mom, who's 94 with Alzheimer's, out of a care facility where we wouldn't be able to visit her every day due to covid lockdowns. It's been exhausting physically as well as emotionally for both DH and I.

I can attest that retail therapy, particularly purse therapy, really helps! I have a collection of tote bags in a wide range of colors that help me through the challenges of each day. There is the Mom's Medical Visit Tote Bag (includes medical POA, mom's medical history, extra clothes and Depends, copy of Elizabeth Bishop poems and essays for soothing nerves). There is the Mom's Emergency Snack and Drink Tote Bag. There is the Mom's Hairstyling Tote Bag (dryer, curlers, shampoo and styling gel because mom keeps tossing those things out as she can no longer identify them). And then there are all the laundry totes.

I make it a point to wear a Cute Outfit (with scarf!) and jewelry every day when I check in on mom in her quasi-AL residence and take her all the places she needs to go. I am truly surprised--and immensely grateful that neither of us has contracted covid considering that nearly every day takes us to medical and dental clinics, pharmacies, grocery stores, and other random public places where mom absolutely insists she needs to go (beauty shop, McDonald's, ice-cream shop, etc) and being a good daughter I can't refuse her.

I have no idea what the next stop for her will be. I try not to think about that.

I know what you must be going through. It's horrible what age does to wonderful mothers, isn't it, Elaine? :heart:

Dear Sue,
I’m so sorry to hear about your mother’s decline. I have experienced something a little similar with my mom. She has dementia and ended up in a nursing home after falling and breaking her hip. It has been so hard to watch her progression as she gets confused and forgetful. She doesn’t understand why she can’t just leave the facility and sometimes gets angry. Of course our being unable to get in to visit has made it worse. Thankfully we are finally being granted access again but it’s not full access. We have to make appointments and the times are limited but I will take what I can get for now.

Thinking of you, @BigPurseSue ❤️
 
Dear TPF friends,
I have not been here in ages so I hope a few of you still remember me, lol. I’m typing this on my phone because I am too lazy to grab my laptop and I’ll try not to bore you with my update. I went back about ten pages to see what everyone was up to.

Oreo, Yo-yo is adorable! I have an almost 13yo schnoodle named Ted. He’s my constant companion and I both adore him and sometimes want to wring his neck, a typical man, right??? :lol:

It sounds like many of us are dealing with aging parents and those challenges during Covid are overwhelming. I get to see my mom (who is in a nursing home)today. I never know what our visits will go like. I get it all. Happiness, anger, confusion. I am just grateful I can see her in person again even if our visits have to be kept short for now.

I got the first vaccine as soon as I was able. I wasn’t on any of the lists that would allow me to get it early so I am not due for my second vaccine until next Friday. I had Moderna and reacted to the first shot so I’m a bit apprehensive about the next one. Hopefully it won’t be too bad.

I continue to be busy running the insulation business since my DH died in 2018. Tomorrow would have been his 58th birthday. I still love and miss him. As do our kids. Grief is a hard journey. The business keeps me busy but I’m ready to be done with it. My daughter and son in law are interested in buying it from me and so he began working for me five months ago, learning the ropes. Right now he’s learning about installing all the different kinds of products we use. Running a business during Covid is stressful but we have stayed busy. Construction is booming in our area.

Work cuts in on my shopping time, ha ha. So no new bags for me but maybe I’ll splurge for my birthday next month. I did buy a used pontoon for our cabin so there’s that. I figured I’d rather get a pre-loved model that I won’t be as worried about scratching. BUT, I will have to tow this thing up to the cabin 2.5 hours away. I still have DH’s truck and I use it regularly so I’m hoping I can do it. I have amazed myself with what I am capable of in the last three years. (Ha! I’m no more capable than the rest of you, believe me!)

Which leads me to my last piece of information. I have found love again. A wonderful widower who understands I will always love Mike, even as I love someone new. It stretches my heart but this new man understands. It’s pretty special but we are not rushing as he lives a few states away and we want to take our time in integrating our lives.

D473ADE6-F780-4948-97D3-EE975A61BB17.jpeg

I think of all of you even though I’m not around much anymore. Maybe I can do a better job of staying up to date on TPF.

Happy Friday everyone! :wave:
 
Dear TPF friends,
I have not been here in ages so I hope a few of you still remember me, lol. I’m typing this on my phone because I am too lazy to grab my laptop and I’ll try not to bore you with my update. I went back about ten pages to see what everyone was up to.

Oreo, Yo-yo is adorable! I have an almost 13yo schnoodle named Ted. He’s my constant companion and I both adore him and sometimes want to wring his neck, a typical man, right??? :lol:

It sounds like many of us are dealing with aging parents and those challenges during Covid are overwhelming. I get to see my mom (who is in a nursing home)today. I never know what our visits will go like. I get it all. Happiness, anger, confusion. I am just grateful I can see her in person again even if our visits have to be kept short for now.

I got the first vaccine as soon as I was able. I wasn’t on any of the lists that would allow me to get it early so I am not due for my second vaccine until next Friday. I had Moderna and reacted to the first shot so I’m a bit apprehensive about the next one. Hopefully it won’t be too bad.

I continue to be busy running the insulation business since my DH died in 2018. Tomorrow would have been his 58th birthday. I still love and miss him. As do our kids. Grief is a hard journey. The business keeps me busy but I’m ready to be done with it. My daughter and son in law are interested in buying it from me and so he began working for me five months ago, learning the ropes. Right now he’s learning about installing all the different kinds of products we use. Running a business during Covid is stressful but we have stayed busy. Construction is booming in our area.

Work cuts in on my shopping time, ha ha. So no new bags for me but maybe I’ll splurge for my birthday next month. I did buy a used pontoon for our cabin so there’s that. I figured I’d rather get a pre-loved model that I won’t be as worried about scratching. BUT, I will have to tow this thing up to the cabin 2.5 hours away. I still have DH’s truck and I use it regularly so I’m hoping I can do it. I have amazed myself with what I am capable of in the last three years. (Ha! I’m no more capable than the rest of you, believe me!)

Which leads me to my last piece of information. I have found love again. A wonderful widower who understands I will always love Mike, even as I love someone new. It stretches my heart but this new man understands. It’s pretty special but we are not rushing as he lives a few states away and we want to take our time in integrating our lives.

View attachment 5070228

I think of all of you even though I’m not around much anymore. Maybe I can do a better job of staying up to date on TPF.

Happy Friday everyone! :wave:
We forgive you...you've been busy in a wonderful way. So happy for you! :hugs:
 
Wow, @ElainePG It sounds as though it’s been a tough go for a while for you. I’m glad you were able to get the surgery safely and hope that your recovery continues to progress well! ❤

I understand the care of an aging parent as my mother has been in a nursing home ever since she fell and broke her hip about 18 months ago. She has dementia and doesn’t understand why she can’t go home. It’s very hard.

Thinking of you! ❤
Sending you a hug, my dear. It's so very difficult to see a well-loved parent decline mentally.
 
Dear TPF friends,
I have not been here in ages so I hope a few of you still remember me, lol. I’m typing this on my phone because I am too lazy to grab my laptop and I’ll try not to bore you with my update. I went back about ten pages to see what everyone was up to.

Oreo, Yo-yo is adorable! I have an almost 13yo schnoodle named Ted. He’s my constant companion and I both adore him and sometimes want to wring his neck, a typical man, right??? :lol:

It sounds like many of us are dealing with aging parents and those challenges during Covid are overwhelming. I get to see my mom (who is in a nursing home)today. I never know what our visits will go like. I get it all. Happiness, anger, confusion. I am just grateful I can see her in person again even if our visits have to be kept short for now.

I got the first vaccine as soon as I was able. I wasn’t on any of the lists that would allow me to get it early so I am not due for my second vaccine until next Friday. I had Moderna and reacted to the first shot so I’m a bit apprehensive about the next one. Hopefully it won’t be too bad.

I continue to be busy running the insulation business since my DH died in 2018. Tomorrow would have been his 58th birthday. I still love and miss him. As do our kids. Grief is a hard journey. The business keeps me busy but I’m ready to be done with it. My daughter and son in law are interested in buying it from me and so he began working for me five months ago, learning the ropes. Right now he’s learning about installing all the different kinds of products we use. Running a business during Covid is stressful but we have stayed busy. Construction is booming in our area.

Work cuts in on my shopping time, ha ha. So no new bags for me but maybe I’ll splurge for my birthday next month. I did buy a used pontoon for our cabin so there’s that. I figured I’d rather get a pre-loved model that I won’t be as worried about scratching. BUT, I will have to tow this thing up to the cabin 2.5 hours away. I still have DH’s truck and I use it regularly so I’m hoping I can do it. I have amazed myself with what I am capable of in the last three years. (Ha! I’m no more capable than the rest of you, believe me!)

Which leads me to my last piece of information. I have found love again. A wonderful widower who understands I will always love Mike, even as I love someone new. It stretches my heart but this new man understands. It’s pretty special but we are not rushing as he lives a few states away and we want to take our time in integrating our lives.

View attachment 5070228

I think of all of you even though I’m not around much anymore. Maybe I can do a better job of staying up to date on TPF.

Happy Friday everyone! :wave:
I love this photo, dear CDM! And it's wonderful the way you put it: you will always love Mike (of course!) but there's room in your heart for someone new. I'm sure it helps that he's a widower, so he's gone through a similar journey. I'm very happy for you, my friend.
 
Wow, @ElainePG It sounds as though it’s been a tough go for a while for you. I’m glad you were able to get the surgery safely and hope that your recovery continues to progress well! ❤

I understand the care of an aging parent as my mother has been in a nursing home ever since she fell and broke her hip about 18 months ago. She has dementia and doesn’t understand why she can’t go home. It’s very hard.

Thinking of you! ❤
We just placed my 94-year-old mother-in-law in a memory care facility. My husband and I live across the state, leaving most of her visits to my sister-in-law and my father-in-law. She keeps asking when she can go home. My heart is breaking for the family. It’s a big transition for all of us, near and far. The guilt my father-in-law is feeling is dissipating ... thank goodness. My DH will visit in a couple of weeks.
I asked my sister-in-law to take my mother-in-law a stuffed animal- that helps sometimes. She loves stuffed animal cats.
Please, in your experiences, does the longing to go home stop? Get better?
Thank you in advance.:flowers:

P.S.: @can_do_mom, it does my heart good to see you both so happy. Thank you for sharing your lovely photo.
 
My 95-year old father has been in hospice since August 2020, and it is heartbreaking to watch him slowly dying. We are fortunate that they have enough savings to afford a quality facility where we have been able to visit daily (max of 2 visitors a day) throughout this pandemic. I have taken over their finances as my 91-year old mother has never done them, and now is not the time for her to learn. When he complains about the cost I remind him how blessed we are that he is in a facility where he gets excellent care, we can visit daily (and we do), and they have been super strict and have kept COVID out of the facility. Mom is living at home alone and is doing surprisingly well given her dementia. We bring her food and whatever else she needs, but thank goodness I'm not taking her anywhere except to visit Dad, doctor's appointments, and occasional banking runs. I've discovered Hermes scarves and delight in wearing one each day on my visits. They certainly add a touch of color and joy to these difficult times.
 
Dear TPF friends,
I have not been here in ages so I hope a few of you still remember me, lol. I’m typing this on my phone because I am too lazy to grab my laptop and I’ll try not to bore you with my update. I went back about ten pages to see what everyone was up to.

Oreo, Yo-yo is adorable! I have an almost 13yo schnoodle named Ted. He’s my constant companion and I both adore him and sometimes want to wring his neck, a typical man, right??? :lol:

It sounds like many of us are dealing with aging parents and those challenges during Covid are overwhelming. I get to see my mom (who is in a nursing home)today. I never know what our visits will go like. I get it all. Happiness, anger, confusion. I am just grateful I can see her in person again even if our visits have to be kept short for now.

I got the first vaccine as soon as I was able. I wasn’t on any of the lists that would allow me to get it early so I am not due for my second vaccine until next Friday. I had Moderna and reacted to the first shot so I’m a bit apprehensive about the next one. Hopefully it won’t be too bad.

I continue to be busy running the insulation business since my DH died in 2018. Tomorrow would have been his 58th birthday. I still love and miss him. As do our kids. Grief is a hard journey. The business keeps me busy but I’m ready to be done with it. My daughter and son in law are interested in buying it from me and so he began working for me five months ago, learning the ropes. Right now he’s learning about installing all the different kinds of products we use. Running a business during Covid is stressful but we have stayed busy. Construction is booming in our area.

Work cuts in on my shopping time, ha ha. So no new bags for me but maybe I’ll splurge for my birthday next month. I did buy a used pontoon for our cabin so there’s that. I figured I’d rather get a pre-loved model that I won’t be as worried about scratching. BUT, I will have to tow this thing up to the cabin 2.5 hours away. I still have DH’s truck and I use it regularly so I’m hoping I can do it. I have amazed myself with what I am capable of in the last three years. (Ha! I’m no more capable than the rest of you, believe me!)

Which leads me to my last piece of information. I have found love again. A wonderful widower who understands I will always love Mike, even as I love someone new. It stretches my heart but this new man understands. It’s pretty special but we are not rushing as he lives a few states away and we want to take our time in integrating our lives.

View attachment 5070228

I think of all of you even though I’m not around much anymore. Maybe I can do a better job of staying up to date on TPF.

Happy Friday everyone! :wave:
I hope things work out for you!
 
My 95-year old father has been in hospice since August 2020, and it is heartbreaking to watch him slowly dying. We are fortunate that they have enough savings to afford a quality facility where we have been able to visit daily (max of 2 visitors a day) throughout this pandemic. I have taken over their finances as my 91-year old mother has never done them, and now is not the time for her to learn. When he complains about the cost I remind him how blessed we are that he is in a facility where he gets excellent care, we can visit daily (and we do), and they have been super strict and have kept COVID out of the facility. Mom is living at home alone and is doing surprisingly well given her dementia. We bring her food and whatever else she needs, but thank goodness I'm not taking her anywhere except to visit Dad, doctor's appointments, and occasional banking runs. I've discovered Hermes scarves and delight in wearing one each day on my visits. They certainly add a touch of color and joy to these difficult times.
I’m glad you are able to place your father in an excellent facility. I just found out, fortunately, my sister-in-law‘s in-laws are both in the same facility, but different wings. They are able to visit my mother-in-law during group times- watching old tv shows and movie nights. She won’t remember, but it makes my DH feel better.
I love the thought of a beautiful/colorful scarf to keep things cheery. I will wear something like that when I have a chance to visit.
I haven’t given much thought to Hermès scarves- I‘ve always loved the handbags. Oh My! I just looked online- the scarves are beautiful!:love:
I wish the best for your family.
I’m going shopping this weekend!:graucho:
 
We just placed my 94-year-old mother-in-law in a memory care facility. My husband and I live across the state, leaving most of her visits to my sister-in-law and my father-in-law. She keeps asking when she can go home. My heart is breaking for the family. It’s a big transition for all of us, near and far. The guilt my father-in-law is feeling is dissipating ... thank goodness. My DH will visit in a couple of weeks.
I asked my sister-in-law to take my mother-in-law a stuffed animal- that helps sometimes. She loves stuffed animal cats.
Please, in your experiences, does the longing to go home stop? Get better?
Thank you in advance.:flowers:

P.S.: @can_do_mom, it does my heart good to see you both so happy. Thank you for sharing your lovely photo.

The longing and questions about going home...I've been told that they're really asking when their mind will return to normal, when their anxiety will decrease, when the world will make sense again.

When I moved my mom I was told that it generally takes 2 months for the anxiety and questions about going home to abate. That was true in a sense. Her anxiety decreased quite a bit at 2 months. She really settled down. But I still hear the question, especially when she's sun-downing "When am I going home? I need to go home." And it has been 9 months. It is truly heartbreaking. Absolutely, utterly heartbreaking. I have to keep reminding myself that I am doing the best for her, I am keeping her safe, I have to make the decisions now. Still it's hard.

Stuffed animals are good. I've heard that having them around is good for dementia sufferers. A form of comfort. I have lots in my mom's apartment.

Sending hugs your way! :heart:
 
Dear TPF friends,
I have not been here in ages so I hope a few of you still remember me, lol. I’m typing this on my phone because I am too lazy to grab my laptop and I’ll try not to bore you with my update. I went back about ten pages to see what everyone was up to.

Oreo, Yo-yo is adorable! I have an almost 13yo schnoodle named Ted. He’s my constant companion and I both adore him and sometimes want to wring his neck, a typical man, right??? :lol:

It sounds like many of us are dealing with aging parents and those challenges during Covid are overwhelming. I get to see my mom (who is in a nursing home)today. I never know what our visits will go like. I get it all. Happiness, anger, confusion. I am just grateful I can see her in person again even if our visits have to be kept short for now.

I got the first vaccine as soon as I was able. I wasn’t on any of the lists that would allow me to get it early so I am not due for my second vaccine until next Friday. I had Moderna and reacted to the first shot so I’m a bit apprehensive about the next one. Hopefully it won’t be too bad.

I continue to be busy running the insulation business since my DH died in 2018. Tomorrow would have been his 58th birthday. I still love and miss him. As do our kids. Grief is a hard journey. The business keeps me busy but I’m ready to be done with it. My daughter and son in law are interested in buying it from me and so he began working for me five months ago, learning the ropes. Right now he’s learning about installing all the different kinds of products we use. Running a business during Covid is stressful but we have stayed busy. Construction is booming in our area.

Work cuts in on my shopping time, ha ha. So no new bags for me but maybe I’ll splurge for my birthday next month. I did buy a used pontoon for our cabin so there’s that. I figured I’d rather get a pre-loved model that I won’t be as worried about scratching. BUT, I will have to tow this thing up to the cabin 2.5 hours away. I still have DH’s truck and I use it regularly so I’m hoping I can do it. I have amazed myself with what I am capable of in the last three years. (Ha! I’m no more capable than the rest of you, believe me!)

Which leads me to my last piece of information. I have found love again. A wonderful widower who understands I will always love Mike, even as I love someone new. It stretches my heart but this new man understands. It’s pretty special but we are not rushing as he lives a few states away and we want to take our time in integrating our lives.

View attachment 5070228

I think of all of you even though I’m not around much anymore. Maybe I can do a better job of staying up to date on TPF.

Happy Friday everyone! :wave:

I love the photo! You both looks so happy! That is wonderful! :love:
 
Dear TPF friends,
I have not been here in ages so I hope a few of you still remember me, lol. I’m typing this on my phone because I am too lazy to grab my laptop and I’ll try not to bore you with my update. I went back about ten pages to see what everyone was up to.

Oreo, Yo-yo is adorable! I have an almost 13yo schnoodle named Ted. He’s my constant companion and I both adore him and sometimes want to wring his neck, a typical man, right??? :lol:

It sounds like many of us are dealing with aging parents and those challenges during Covid are overwhelming. I get to see my mom (who is in a nursing home)today. I never know what our visits will go like. I get it all. Happiness, anger, confusion. I am just grateful I can see her in person again even if our visits have to be kept short for now.

I got the first vaccine as soon as I was able. I wasn’t on any of the lists that would allow me to get it early so I am not due for my second vaccine until next Friday. I had Moderna and reacted to the first shot so I’m a bit apprehensive about the next one. Hopefully it won’t be too bad.

I continue to be busy running the insulation business since my DH died in 2018. Tomorrow would have been his 58th birthday. I still love and miss him. As do our kids. Grief is a hard journey. The business keeps me busy but I’m ready to be done with it. My daughter and son in law are interested in buying it from me and so he began working for me five months ago, learning the ropes. Right now he’s learning about installing all the different kinds of products we use. Running a business during Covid is stressful but we have stayed busy. Construction is booming in our area.

Work cuts in on my shopping time, ha ha. So no new bags for me but maybe I’ll splurge for my birthday next month. I did buy a used pontoon for our cabin so there’s that. I figured I’d rather get a pre-loved model that I won’t be as worried about scratching. BUT, I will have to tow this thing up to the cabin 2.5 hours away. I still have DH’s truck and I use it regularly so I’m hoping I can do it. I have amazed myself with what I am capable of in the last three years. (Ha! I’m no more capable than the rest of you, believe me!)

Which leads me to my last piece of information. I have found love again. A wonderful widower who understands I will always love Mike, even as I love someone new. It stretches my heart but this new man understands. It’s pretty special but we are not rushing as he lives a few states away and we want to take our time in integrating our lives.

View attachment 5070228

I think of all of you even though I’m not around much anymore. Maybe I can do a better job of staying up to date on TPF.

Happy Friday everyone! :wave:
Glad to see you here! I have been aware of your new relationship, since I follow you on Instagram. You and your new man look very happy...I am so pleased for you!
 
The longing and questions about going home...I've been told that they're really asking when their mind will return to normal, when their anxiety will decrease, when the world will make sense again.

When I moved my mom I was told that it generally takes 2 months for the anxiety and questions about going home to abate. That was true in a sense. Her anxiety decreased quite a bit at 2 months. She really settled down. But I still hear the question, especially when she's sun-downing "When am I going home? I need to go home." And it has been 9 months. It is truly heartbreaking. Absolutely, utterly heartbreaking. I have to keep reminding myself that I am doing the best for her, I am keeping her safe, I have to make the decisions now. Still it's hard.

Stuffed animals are good. I've heard that having them around is good for dementia sufferers. A form of comfort. I have lots in my mom's apartment.

Sending hugs your way! :heart:
Thank you so much! Though I do not wish any of this on any person, or family, it feels good to know we’re not alone. Wishing you the best!:hugs:
 
Dear TPF friends,
I have not been here in ages so I hope a few of you still remember me, lol. I’m typing this on my phone because I am too lazy to grab my laptop and I’ll try not to bore you with my update. I went back about ten pages to see what everyone was up to.

Oreo, Yo-yo is adorable! I have an almost 13yo schnoodle named Ted. He’s my constant companion and I both adore him and sometimes want to wring his neck, a typical man, right??? :lol:

It sounds like many of us are dealing with aging parents and those challenges during Covid are overwhelming. I get to see my mom (who is in a nursing home)today. I never know what our visits will go like. I get it all. Happiness, anger, confusion. I am just grateful I can see her in person again even if our visits have to be kept short for now.

I got the first vaccine as soon as I was able. I wasn’t on any of the lists that would allow me to get it early so I am not due for my second vaccine until next Friday. I had Moderna and reacted to the first shot so I’m a bit apprehensive about the next one. Hopefully it won’t be too bad.

I continue to be busy running the insulation business since my DH died in 2018. Tomorrow would have been his 58th birthday. I still love and miss him. As do our kids. Grief is a hard journey. The business keeps me busy but I’m ready to be done with it. My daughter and son in law are interested in buying it from me and so he began working for me five months ago, learning the ropes. Right now he’s learning about installing all the different kinds of products we use. Running a business during Covid is stressful but we have stayed busy. Construction is booming in our area.

Work cuts in on my shopping time, ha ha. So no new bags for me but maybe I’ll splurge for my birthday next month. I did buy a used pontoon for our cabin so there’s that. I figured I’d rather get a pre-loved model that I won’t be as worried about scratching. BUT, I will have to tow this thing up to the cabin 2.5 hours away. I still have DH’s truck and I use it regularly so I’m hoping I can do it. I have amazed myself with what I am capable of in the last three years. (Ha! I’m no more capable than the rest of you, believe me!)

Which leads me to my last piece of information. I have found love again. A wonderful widower who understands I will always love Mike, even as I love someone new. It stretches my heart but this new man understands. It’s pretty special but we are not rushing as he lives a few states away and we want to take our time in integrating our lives.

View attachment 5070228

I think of all of you even though I’m not around much anymore. Maybe I can do a better job of staying up to date on TPF.

Happy Friday everyone! :wave:

You’re still remembered dear:wave: you know I’m very happy for you! You both look very happy so wonderful:heart: