PART 2 Come join the 50-ish-plus Club! (age, not # of bags)

[Cilifene]

Great bag, and terrific with your boots! So you're back in black bags again???

Thanks dear blacks, red, blue, brown and chalk ... many colors apparently ....

 

[oreo713]

Congratulations, dear! You and your puppy are both gorgeous!!!!!

Awww thanks Elaine. My puppy is definitely gorgeous. Me, on the other hand, could use quite a bit of work... But thanks for saying that. You're a sweetheart!
How have you been? I haven't seen any posts from you lately. Hope all is well on the "left coast"!

 

[ElainePG]

Thanks Elaine...no replacement. A small tear was repaired, but most of the procedure was to inject calcium phosphate into the bone. Parts of the bone had died due to lack of circulation...this was to strengthen the bone. He called it “cement”!

Cement sounds really cool! Sort of low-tech and high-tech at the same time.

I'm so glad to hear you're not in pain any more. And also glad for you that you didn't need to go through a knee replacement.

 

[ElainePG]

Awww thanks Elaine. My puppy is definitely gorgeous. Me, on the other hand, could use quite a bit of work... But thanks for saying that. You're a sweetheart!
How have you been? I haven't seen any posts from you lately. Hope all is well on the "left coast"!

Thank you for asking, dear. Things in my personal little neck of the woods have been… complicated. I needed spine surgery in December (in the middle of a pandemic, yet!) but the good news is that it was done by a world-class neurosurgeon up at Stanford, and they had me in & out in record time. Their safety protocols were impressive, and I didn't get C-19 while I was there.

So there's been that. Kind of a lengthy recovery, and physical therapy to start next week, but I haven't able to BLT (bend, lift, twist) for the past 3 months, which puts a cramp in my style and also keeps me from driving. I'm needing to ask for a lot of help from DH, which he's happy to provide, but I really prefer to be independent.

And then my Mom (at age 96) is needing more & more of my time, energy, and attention. I'm very glad that I'm only 2 blocks away from her, and that the place where she lives allows me to visit (I'm considered a secondary caregiver), but emotionally it's difficult. She's still living independently, in her own apartment, but DH and I can see that there will come a time when she will need to be moved to assisted living within the same place (it's a tiered life care facility). This will be such an agonizing decision, but I really believe it will be sooner rather than later.

Of course, compared to so many in this country (and in the world) we have a lot to be grateful for. I try to remember that.

 

[Cilifene]

Thank you for asking, dear. Things in my personal little neck of the woods have been… complicated. I needed spine surgery in December (in the middle of a pandemic, yet!) but the good news is that it was done by a world-class neurosurgeon up at Stanford, and they had me in & out in record time. Their safety protocols were impressive, and I didn't get C-19 while I was there.

So there's been that. Kind of a lengthy recovery, and physical therapy to start next week, but I haven't able to BLT (bend, lift, twist) for the past 3 months, which puts a cramp in my style and also keeps me from driving. I'm needing to ask for a lot of help from DH, which he's happy to provide, but I really prefer to be independent.

And then my Mom (at age 96) is needing more & more of my time, energy, and attention. I'm very glad that I'm only 2 blocks away from her, and that the place where she lives allows me to visit (I'm considered a secondary caregiver), but emotionally it's difficult. She's still living independently, in her own apartment, but DH and I can see that there will come a time when she will need to be moved to assisted living within the same place (it's a tiered life care facility). This will be such an agonizing decision, but I really believe it will be sooner rather than later.

Of course, compared to so many in this country (and in the world) we have a lot to be grateful for. I try to remember that.

Hope you’re okay dearest Elaine!

 

[bisbee]

Thank you for asking, dear. Things in my personal little neck of the woods have been… complicated. I needed spine surgery in December (in the middle of a pandemic, yet!) but the good news is that it was done by a world-class neurosurgeon up at Stanford, and they had me in & out in record time. Their safety protocols were impressive, and I didn't get C-19 while I was there.

So there's been that. Kind of a lengthy recovery, and physical therapy to start next week, but I haven't able to BLT (bend, lift, twist) for the past 3 months, which puts a cramp in my style and also keeps me from driving. I'm needing to ask for a lot of help from DH, which he's happy to provide, but I really prefer to be independent.

And then my Mom (at age 96) is needing more & more of my time, energy, and attention. I'm very glad that I'm only 2 blocks away from her, and that the place where she lives allows me to visit (I'm considered a secondary caregiver), but emotionally it's difficult. She's still living independently, in her own apartment, but DH and I can see that there will come a time when she will need to be moved to assisted living within the same place (it's a tiered life care facility). This will be such an agonizing decision, but I really believe it will be sooner rather than later.

Of course, compared to so many in this country (and in the world) we have a lot to be grateful for. I try to remember that.

Oh Elaine...sorry to hear about your surgery! Mine was very minimal in comparison. I actually drove today! I was afraid to until now...if I had to exert too much pressure, since it was my right knee. I hadn’t driven for months, since before the surgery it was too painful just moving from the brake to the gas!
I’m sure you will move your mother to the next tier of care at the right time...we went through something similar with my mother-in-law. My own parents weren’t around long enough to go through it.

 

[BigPurseSue]

Thank you for asking, dear. Things in my personal little neck of the woods have been… complicated. I needed spine surgery in December (in the middle of a pandemic, yet!) but the good news is that it was done by a world-class neurosurgeon up at Stanford, and they had me in & out in record time. Their safety protocols were impressive, and I didn't get C-19 while I was there.

So there's been that. Kind of a lengthy recovery, and physical therapy to start next week, but I haven't able to BLT (bend, lift, twist) for the past 3 months, which puts a cramp in my style and also keeps me from driving. I'm needing to ask for a lot of help from DH, which he's happy to provide, but I really prefer to be independent.

And then my Mom (at age 96) is needing more & more of my time, energy, and attention. I'm very glad that I'm only 2 blocks away from her, and that the place where she lives allows me to visit (I'm considered a secondary caregiver), but emotionally it's difficult. She's still living independently, in her own apartment, but DH and I can see that there will come a time when she will need to be moved to assisted living within the same place (it's a tiered life care facility). This will be such an agonizing decision, but I really believe it will be sooner rather than later.

Of course, compared to so many in this country (and in the world) we have a lot to be grateful for. I try to remember that.

I'm so sorry to hear about your surgery, Elaine. That must have been harrowing. But I'm glad to hear you're safe at home. And I hope your DH is pampering you and taking care of you with all the love, good food, and general perks you deserve!

My life the past 8 months has been devoted to keeping my mom, who's 94 with Alzheimer's, out of a care facility where we wouldn't be able to visit her every day due to covid lockdowns. It's been exhausting physically as well as emotionally for both DH and I.

I can attest that retail therapy, particularly purse therapy, really helps! I have a collection of tote bags in a wide range of colors that help me through the challenges of each day. There is the Mom's Medical Visit Tote Bag (includes medical POA, mom's medical history, extra clothes and Depends, copy of Elizabeth Bishop poems and essays for soothing nerves). There is the Mom's Emergency Snack and Drink Tote Bag. There is the Mom's Hairstyling Tote Bag (dryer, curlers, shampoo and styling gel because mom keeps tossing those things out as she can no longer identify them). And then there are all the laundry totes.

I make it a point to wear a Cute Outfit (with scarf!) and jewelry every day when I check in on mom in her quasi-AL residence and take her all the places she needs to go. I am truly surprised--and immensely grateful that neither of us has contracted covid considering that nearly every day takes us to medical and dental clinics, pharmacies, grocery stores, and other random public places where mom absolutely insists she needs to go (beauty shop, McDonald's, ice-cream shop, etc) and being a good daughter I can't refuse her.

I have no idea what the next stop for her will be. I try not to think about that.

I know what you must be going through. It's horrible what age does to wonderful mothers, isn't it, Elaine?

 

[BigPurseSue]

Oh Elaine...sorry to hear about your surgery! Mine was very minimal in comparison. I actually drove today! I was afraid to until now...if I had to exert too much pressure, since it was my right knee. I hadn’t driven for months, since before the surgery it was too painful just moving from the brake to the gas!
I’m sure you will move your mother to the next tier of care at the right time...we went through something similar with my mother-in-law. My own parents weren’t around long enough to go through it.

So happy to hear your knee is getting better, Bisbee! Driving for the first time in months must have been a tremendous joy! But holy wow, what a long recovery!

 

[ElainePG]

Oh Elaine...sorry to hear about your surgery! Mine was very minimal in comparison. I actually drove today! I was afraid to until now...if I had to exert too much pressure, since it was my right knee. I hadn’t driven for months, since before the surgery it was too painful just moving from the brake to the gas!
I’m sure you will move your mother to the next tier of care at the right time...we went through something similar with my mother-in-law. My own parents weren’t around long enough to go through it.

Congratulations on driving! I can imagine how worrisome it must have been the first time you put your foot on the brake pedal. And so glad to hear that this surgery has done such a great job with your pain.

 

[ElainePG]

I'm so sorry to hear about your surgery, Elaine. That must have been harrowing. But I'm glad to hear you're safe at home. And I hope your DH is pampering you and taking care of you with all the love, good food, and general perks you deserve!

My life the past 8 months has been devoted to keeping my mom, who's 94 with Alzheimer's, out of a care facility where we wouldn't be able to visit her every day due to covid lockdowns. It's been exhausting physically as well as emotionally for both DH and I.

I can attest that retail therapy, particularly purse therapy, really helps! I have a collection of tote bags in a wide range of colors that help me through the challenges of each day. There is the Mom's Medical Visit Tote Bag (includes medical POA, mom's medical history, extra clothes and Depends, copy of Elizabeth Bishop poems and essays for soothing nerves). There is the Mom's Emergency Snack and Drink Tote Bag. There is the Mom's Hairstyling Tote Bag (dryer, curlers, shampoo and styling gel because mom keeps tossing those things out as she can no longer identify them). And then there are all the laundry totes.

I make it a point to wear a Cute Outfit (with scarf!) and jewelry every day when I check in on mom in her quasi-AL residence and take her all the places she needs to go. I am truly surprised--and immensely grateful that neither of us has contracted covid considering that nearly every day takes us to medical and dental clinics, pharmacies, grocery stores, and other random public places where mom absolutely insists she needs to go (beauty shop, McDonald's, ice-cream shop, etc) and being a good daughter I can't refuse her.

I have no idea what the next stop for her will be. I try not to think about that.

I know what you must be going through. It's horrible what age does to wonderful mothers, isn't it, Elaine?

Oh, Sue, your life sounds incredibly difficult… you must be totally wiped out by the end of the day! My Mom is headed down the long road of dementia (no idea if it's Alzheimer's or something else as she hasn't been officially diagnosed, but she's certainly failing mentally) but at least at this point she still understands that she MUST wear a mask, and that the ONLY place DH and I can take her is to medical appointments.

Retail Therapy is important, definitely! I just went on line and bought some candles. A couple for the kitchen, and a couple for the bedroom. Candles make me happy. And they get used up, so they don't really count.

Good for you, for taking the time to put a cute outfit together! I work on doing that, too, although I can't say that I always manage a scarf. If not a scarf, though, then a nice necklace. And I'm trying to be better about wearing eye makeup again. Over the past year I pretty much got out of the habit of makeup (and certainly lipstick and foundation make no sense with face masks!) but I wore eye shadow & mascara yesterday, and it was a spirit-lifter.

Sending you a big hug.

 

[BigPurseSue]

Oh, Sue, your life sounds incredibly difficult… you must be totally wiped out by the end of the day! My Mom is headed down the long road of dementia (no idea if it's Alzheimer's or something else as she hasn't been officially diagnosed, but she's certainly failing mentally) but at least at this point she still understands that she MUST wear a mask, and that the ONLY place DH and I can take her is to medical appointments.

Retail Therapy is important, definitely! I just went on line and bought some candles. A couple for the kitchen, and a couple for the bedroom. Candles make me happy. And they get used up, so they don't really count.

Good for you, for taking the time to put a cute outfit together! I work on doing that, too, although I can't say that I always manage a scarf. If not a scarf, though, then a nice necklace. And I'm trying to be better about wearing eye makeup again. Over the past year I pretty much got out of the habit of makeup (and certainly lipstick and foundation make no sense with face masks!) but I wore eye shadow & mascara yesterday, and it was a spirit-lifter.

Sending you a big hug.

Thank you so much for the words of compassion, Elaine! It took my mom many months to understand what the masks were about, but she can't remember that she needs to wear one every time she leaves her apartment. As I put her mask on she argues with me about it. "Why do I need to wear a mask? I hate wearing a mask! Take this mask off of me! I can't breath!" Etc. Doctor visits are especially challenging because there's usually a wait in the waiting area--no longer are medical and dental clinics around here requiring that patients wait in their car--and she kvetches about the mask throughout the entire wait. Making the wait a very long one indeed.

Thank you for the candle recommendation! I brought out a few that I was given for hostess gifts and on several evenings enjoyed them while I relaxed. There is something about a candle flame that is truly soothing.

I've been bringing out all my costume jewelry, including all the garish stuff bought impulsively from cable shopping networks decades ago. They make good mom-distractions. As an aging fashionista accessories always catch her eye and divert her from dementia obsessions like "Where is my purse!? Someone stole my purse again!" But makeup and perfume lead her to some bad dementia obsessions like "Someone is breaking into my apartment every night and stealing the tops off my lipsticks! You don't believe me, but it's true!" So I avoid cosmetics.

What's truly sad is that she has a huge amount of accessories--lots of purses, scarves, drawers full of jewelry, but has no interest in wearing it anymore. Or changing it up. She's carried the same purse for over a year now, a battered summer straw bag that is too heavy for her to carry because she has it jammed full of all sorts of crazy things (I have to carry it for her) and she sleeps with it. But she won't let me transfer her things into a different bag. She would wear the same clothes every day if I didn't switch her clothes and jam her dirty clothes into my laundry tote when she's not looking.

Fortunately she still loves to have her hair done so I work with that.

A Big Hug Back Atcha!

 

[bisbee]

Thank you so much for the words of compassion, Elaine! It took my mom many months to understand what the masks were about, but she can't remember that she needs to wear one every time she leaves her apartment. As I put her mask on she argues with me about it. "Why do I need to wear a mask? I hate wearing a mask! Take this mask off of me! I can't breath!" Etc. Doctor visits are especially challenging because there's usually a wait in the waiting area--no longer are medical and dental clinics around here requiring that patients wait in their car--and she kvetches about the mask throughout the entire wait. Making the wait a very long one indeed.

Thank you for the candle recommendation! I brought out a few that I was given for hostess gifts and on several evenings enjoyed them while I relaxed. There is something about a candle flame that is truly soothing.

I've been bringing out all my costume jewelry, including all the garish stuff bought impulsively from cable shopping networks decades ago. They make good mom-distractions. As an aging fashionista accessories always catch her eye and divert her from dementia obsessions like "Where is my purse!? Someone stole my purse again!" But makeup and perfume lead her to some bad dementia obsessions like "Someone is breaking into my apartment every night and stealing the tops off my lipsticks! You don't believe me, but it's true!" So I avoid cosmetics.

What's truly sad is that she has a huge amount of accessories--lots of purses, scarves, drawers full of jewelry, but has no interest in wearing it anymore. Or changing it up. She's carried the same purse for over a year now, a battered summer straw bag that is too heavy for her to carry because she has it jammed full of all sorts of crazy things (I have to carry it for her) and she sleeps with it. But she won't let me transfer her things into a different bag. She would wear the same clothes every day if I didn't switch her clothes and jam her dirty clothes into my laundry tote when she's not looking.

Fortunately she still loves to have her hair done so I work with that.

A Big Hug Back Atcha!

Sue...I wish I had solutions for you! Just know that we feel for you. Such a very difficult thing to go through with a beloved parent. I have been on the outside but close to similar situations with both of my mothers-in-law. My husband’s mother was already in Assisted Living when I met her. The level of care had to increase over the years, but she was happy, thank goodness!

I lost both of my own parents to other illnesses earlier than any dementia could appear...a very strange kind of “blessing” in a way...

 

[ElainePG]

I treated myself to a new li'l bag! Learned about it on another thread, and I promised myself that when I was kinda-sorta recuperated from surgery this would be my present ot myself.

It's from a company called Portland Leather Goods. They call this style the Mini Crossbody Tote, but it holds a lot more than its name suggests. The leather is super-supple, and it only weighs 1 pound. My neck is happy, my physical therapist happy, and I'm happy!

Note: I included my iPad Mini in the bag spill, because I do occasionally carry it, and it does fit. But it wouldn't fit any of the larger iPads, and even this one makes it a bit of Tetris. It fits everything else just perfectly, though.

 

[Cilifene]

Thank you so much for the words of compassion, Elaine! It took my mom many months to understand what the masks were about, but she can't remember that she needs to wear one every time she leaves her apartment. As I put her mask on she argues with me about it. "Why do I need to wear a mask? I hate wearing a mask! Take this mask off of me! I can't breath!" Etc. Doctor visits are especially challenging because there's usually a wait in the waiting area--no longer are medical and dental clinics around here requiring that patients wait in their car--and she kvetches about the mask throughout the entire wait. Making the wait a very long one indeed.

Thank you for the candle recommendation! I brought out a few that I was given for hostess gifts and on several evenings enjoyed them while I relaxed. There is something about a candle flame that is truly soothing.

I've been bringing out all my costume jewelry, including all the garish stuff bought impulsively from cable shopping networks decades ago. They make good mom-distractions. As an aging fashionista accessories always catch her eye and divert her from dementia obsessions like "Where is my purse!? Someone stole my purse again!" But makeup and perfume lead her to some bad dementia obsessions like "Someone is breaking into my apartment every night and stealing the tops off my lipsticks! You don't believe me, but it's true!" So I avoid cosmetics.

What's truly sad is that she has a huge amount of accessories--lots of purses, scarves, drawers full of jewelry, but has no interest in wearing it anymore. Or changing it up. She's carried the same purse for over a year now, a battered summer straw bag that is too heavy for her to carry because she has it jammed full of all sorts of crazy things (I have to carry it for her) and she sleeps with it. But she won't let me transfer her things into a different bag. She would wear the same clothes every day if I didn't switch her clothes and jam her dirty clothes into my laundry tote when she's not looking.

Fortunately she still loves to have her hair done so I work with that.

A Big Hug Back Atcha!

This is so hard a big hug to you BPS

 

[Cilifene]

I treated myself to a new li'l bag! Learned about it on another thread, and I promised myself that when I was kinda-sorta recuperated from surgery this would be my present ot myself.

It's from a company called Portland Leather Goods. They call this style the Mini Crossbody Tote, but it holds a lot more than its name suggests. The leather is super-supple, and it only weighs 1 pound. My neck is happy, my physical therapist happy, and I'm happy!

Note: I included my iPad Mini in the bag spill, because I do occasionally carry it, and it does fit. But it wouldn't fit any of the larger iPads, and even this one makes it a bit of Tetris. It fits everything else just perfectly, though.

View attachment 5037834View attachment 5037836

This looks very nice - and I love the color! Hope you’re doing well dear...