Teachers where does it end?
- Thread starter Christine
- Start date
In a way...I can understand. A lot of parents are so quick to blame the teacher for every little thing that happens in their child's school system. It's a scary thought for a teacher, since something like this could ruin their career. I worked in child care, and we had a parent threaten to sue us when her son broke a tooth on the monkey bars - even though we had no fault in the situation. She did attempt to go to court with our company, but she never succeeded since we worked for the county. Eventually they ended up settling.
Things aren't like they used to be when we were in school. Teachers aren't really allowed to hug their students anymore, or hold them in their lap since they could be viewed as favoritism or possibly that the teacher is "interested" in the child. Sounds crazy, I know...
I hope that your friend is okay with the decision she made!
Things aren't like they used to be when we were in school. Teachers aren't really allowed to hug their students anymore, or hold them in their lap since they could be viewed as favoritism or possibly that the teacher is "interested" in the child. Sounds crazy, I know...
I hope that your friend is okay with the decision she made!
I'm really sorry to hear that. I am in education and even though you always get one or 2 challenging parents .....most parents are really positive and are not out to get teachers....especially if your friend is doing her job. I hope your friend reconsiders. Did she have a particularly rough school year?
anne
anne
Just need to add another couple of cents here. I majored in education while I still went to University in the United States - and this came up a lot...Some people actually switched majors because they didn't think it would be worth it to deal with parents like that.
I do agree with Windy, that a majority of parents are positive and accept the teachers - but there will always be that small percentage of parents who will try as hard as they can to make the teachers' life and school year misserable.
If your friend was experiencing a problem with one particular parent, I would suggest she go to the Principal or whoever she "answers" to and notify them of what is going on.
I do agree with Windy, that a majority of parents are positive and accept the teachers - but there will always be that small percentage of parents who will try as hard as they can to make the teachers' life and school year misserable.
If your friend was experiencing a problem with one particular parent, I would suggest she go to the Principal or whoever she "answers" to and notify them of what is going on.
This is so true! I was talking about this with SO's mom (who taught elementary school for 20+ years). She retired because she found the systems changing a lot and really stressful to deal with. She said that teachers are allowed only to side hug, if a kid in her classroom gets a splinter in his finger and if the nurse is not in that day, she isn't allowed to take it out.
I was discussing this with her because my son went on a school trip to a nearby park. He got bitten by some bug and got a tremendous reaction - there were nickel sized bumps all over his shoulders and back. His teacher told me that it was a good thing that I came along on that rip because otherwise no teacher would be allowed to put lotion on his back to ease his pain and itchiness.
It's not just with younger students...its all ages and its sad. I got in trouble once for baking a cake for my chemistry students...they all did such a good job on their exam and I was so proud of them that I wanted to do something nice. In turn, the administration made it seem like I was trying to poison my kids...its just sad really how things have changed 
I no longer teach, and even though I miss it terribly, I don't think I can handle all the rules about not bonding with your students, which I think is key for their success.
I no longer teach, and even though I miss it terribly, I don't think I can handle all the rules about not bonding with your students, which I think is key for their success.
That's too bad. You know, it really depends on the principal and the administration as to how scared I would be of being "sued". Did something happen to make her scared? I've taught Kindergarten and there are A LOT of really crazy parents - mostly because this is their first child, first year of school.
Things have changed in education, sadly. My students run up and hug me and I don't turn them away. I'll risk being fired. I love my job because of the students. I hate my job because of the politics. I stay for the students.
I hope your friend reconsiders. This world needs more good teachers.
Things have changed in education, sadly. My students run up and hug me and I don't turn them away. I'll risk being fired. I love my job because of the students. I hate my job because of the politics. I stay for the students.
I hope your friend reconsiders. This world needs more good teachers.
It's really sad that it's come to this. I've noticed it... and that's working with pre-school kids. There is so much that you can't do now, that it can really take the fun out of it sometimes.
I'm sorry that your friend feels like this, especially if it was a job she enjoyed and was popular at. Would moving to another school help maybe if it's a specific set of parents that she doesn't like at her current one, or would it not make a difference? Maybe if she brought up the issues that were troubling her with her boss/head-teacher/principal they may be able to work something out? It would be a shame if the education industry looses a good teacher because of this, especially when I bet she had to work really hard to get there. I also think whatever industry you work in now there is always going to be a risk of being sued, so she shouldn't let it put her off.
^^kidlearner I agree about the hugging thing, thats one of the harder aspects of working with the small ones because they automatically reach out for you, and it's become a big problem legal wise. There are so many rules about what you can do now, I think they call it "touch - no touch" over here. Lots of parents don't want strangers hugging their children, and I know if I had kids I wouldn't want people I didn't know hugging them, but also if a child comes to hug me, I won't turn them away as I think that might damage their self-esteem and confidence. As soon as a child hurts themselves now you have to sort of pick them up for a minute until they stop crying and put them straight down, there's none of that comforting anymore just incase you get sued.
I'm sorry that your friend feels like this, especially if it was a job she enjoyed and was popular at. Would moving to another school help maybe if it's a specific set of parents that she doesn't like at her current one, or would it not make a difference? Maybe if she brought up the issues that were troubling her with her boss/head-teacher/principal they may be able to work something out? It would be a shame if the education industry looses a good teacher because of this, especially when I bet she had to work really hard to get there. I also think whatever industry you work in now there is always going to be a risk of being sued, so she shouldn't let it put her off.
^^kidlearner I agree about the hugging thing, thats one of the harder aspects of working with the small ones because they automatically reach out for you, and it's become a big problem legal wise. There are so many rules about what you can do now, I think they call it "touch - no touch" over here. Lots of parents don't want strangers hugging their children, and I know if I had kids I wouldn't want people I didn't know hugging them, but also if a child comes to hug me, I won't turn them away as I think that might damage their self-esteem and confidence. As soon as a child hurts themselves now you have to sort of pick them up for a minute until they stop crying and put them straight down, there's none of that comforting anymore just incase you get sued.
my mom teaches 2nd grade and many of her students are 'needy' for affection/attention. it puts her in a terrible position (and breaks her heart) when little ones want to give her a hug. for many, many children, their teachers are the only positive, consistent role model in their lives. when kids cry at the end of school because they will not see their teacher for the summer, it's just so sad.
Exactly, in present day society we want to put the blame on others and not realize we are responsible for our own and our children's actions..not the teachers.
It very much depends on the community. I live in a very small town and the teachers are excellent and have never hesitated to hug a student if the student initiates (I'm talking about early grades, of course).
But I agree that the liability issue has just gone over the top. We put it on the school to teach manners, hygeine, personal skills, sex ed, nutrition AND all the academics. Then we complain if our kids aren't perfect, when most of those things should be taught at home anyway! The only reason the school teaches them is because parents were NOT doing it at home.
I think it is sad. We need to decide what we think the schools are for and not saddle them with everything. They're dam*ed if they do and dam*ed if they don't.
But I agree that the liability issue has just gone over the top. We put it on the school to teach manners, hygeine, personal skills, sex ed, nutrition AND all the academics. Then we complain if our kids aren't perfect, when most of those things should be taught at home anyway! The only reason the school teaches them is because parents were NOT doing it at home.
I think it is sad. We need to decide what we think the schools are for and not saddle them with everything. They're dam*ed if they do and dam*ed if they don't.
We had a little girl like this at the school I worked at. She was recently adopted from Russia, and didn't speak English very well. Her parents were gone a lot on business, so she would stay with her grandparents or neighbors on the days that her mom and dad weren't there. I think that the adoption really affected her, and the fact that her new mom and dad weren't there for her when she needed them was really difficult. I really became attached to this girl. She used to come up to me everyday after school and give me a great big hug, and it broke my heart to have to pull her away and give an "appropriate" hug. Whenever something bad happened, she would come to me and cry. It's a terrible feeling when a child wants to depend on you to hold them when they're feeling sad, but you can't. I think this is one of the main things that really upset me when my contract was "terminated" (as they called it). The little girl wasn't very close with any of the kids or workers there, so I worried about how she was doing. I still wonder about her sometimes..