How to respond to old people who don't understand your LVoe?

lvmk · Apr 5, 2016

I've had some elderly family members tell me that I must be mentally ill if I'm buying LV. Wtf. They said that's sad that that is where my priorities are. But it's not like i'm not paying the bills... In fact, I consistently deposit the max into retirement in addition to putting a lot of my income into savings. I just don't understand. She said instead of buying LV I could be giving the money to charity or to my local church. I just wanted to scream at her! What would you all do if you were in my situation?

lizmil · Apr 5, 2016

Thank her for her insight, think it over and see if she has a point, then do as you decide. Perhaps not confide in her what your purchases are.

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MWTexan · Apr 5, 2016

Nothing. Their opinion. Take it or ignore it and carry on.

lvmk · Apr 5, 2016

lizmil said:
Thank her for her insight, think it over and see if she has a point, then do as you decide. Perhaps not confide in her what your purchases are.

Sent from my SM-G900V using PurseForum mobile app

Every time she notices something LV in my home, whether it be a purse I carried that day hanging on the bannister or my wallet laying around because I ordered a pizza, she says "oh my gosh, I see you still haven't sold those and given the money to the church. Are you mentally ill that you keep waiting?" and for some reason she keeps insisting I have some sort of mental illness for having Louis Vuitton items!

I just don't know what to do at this point, because she is my relative, so it's not like I can stop inviting her to family functions, and the mental illness part is the thing that really gets to me.

lizmil · Apr 5, 2016

If that's the case, I think I would say, "thank you, grandma/ auntie, I'm not mentally ill and I have no intention of selling my things to donate to the church. Thank you for the suggestion." I would repeat that phrase verbatim EVERY SINGLE time. She will either get the point or you will sound like a broken record, either way you don't have to waste more energy on it.

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Lv-nowwhat · Apr 5, 2016

Instead of lv or anything people could do more. We could all buy 9000 cars and give the rest away. Etc etc This is why we are all different
I would never tell her a price again or what i bought. Maybe tell her to sell her stuff and give it to charity. Lol no i guess just smile and say sure.

lvmk · Apr 5, 2016

lizmil said:
If that's the case, I think I would say, "thank you, grandma/ auntie, I'm not mentally ill and I have no intention of selling my things to donate to the church. Thank you for the suggestion." I would repeat that phrase verbatim EVERY SINGLE time. She will either get the point or you will sound like a broken record, either way you don't have to waste more energy on it.

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Thank you for the advice! I just don't understand why she has such a problem with it. No one will even be talking about anything remotely designer and she will see one of my items laying around and will say something in front of everyone. It's quite embarrassing to me to be honest. I'll just tell her what you said, because I'm not going to hide the things in my home just to please her.

lvmk · Apr 5, 2016

Lv-nowwhat said:
Instead of lv or anything people could do more. We could all buy 9000 cars and give the rest away. Etc etc This is why we are all different
I would never tell her a price again or what i bought. Maybe tell her to sell her stuff and give it to charity. Lol no i guess just smile and say sure.

Thanks for the advice, however I don't think me telling her that would go well!

lizmil · Apr 5, 2016

If she isn't "all there" and it sounds like she isn't, I wouldn't suggest she sell her things, she might do it and be taken advantage of by someone preying on the elderly.

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lvmk · Apr 5, 2016

lizmil said:
If she isn't "all there" and it sounds like she isn't, I wouldn't suggest she sell her things, she might do it and be taken advantage of by someone preying on the elderly.

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I completely agree! Her health and mind have been deteriorating at a rapid pace unfortunately ever since she hit 84, and now she'll forget random things and get hostile out of the blue. She is usually in one of her hostile moods that pop up out of no where when she makes these comments.

lizmil · Apr 5, 2016

Maybe that is what is happening to her, I hope someone in your family is looking out for her.

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jellyv · Apr 5, 2016

lvmk · Apr 5, 2016

lizmil said:
Maybe that is what is happening to her, I hope someone in your family is looking out for her.

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My grandmother lives with my mother in my mother's home. My mother has been having so much trouble with her lately; it's actually my grandmother. She is never happy and always has something to complain about. She also always threatens to move out and go to a nursing home if someone isn't there to sit with her and talk with her all the time. In fact, my mother had to quit her job because of the situation because my grandmother manipulated her into it. My mother's mental stability has been greatly affected by the situation as well and the more I think about it the more I believe that my grandmother may be suffering from a case of dementia.

I know this is beginning to be more of a health and wellness situation but I am very worried for everyone in my family's wellbeing. And these rude comments have shed a light on how my grandmother has apparently been treating my mother and father behind the closed doors of their own home. I'm just wondering how I should respond to her Louis Vuitton comments without escalating the situation for everyone involved, because if I say anything that remotely does not agree with her she throws a fit which upsets my parents in addition to her.

miss_chiff · Apr 5, 2016

lvmk said:
My grandmother lives with my mother in my mother's home. My mother has been having so much trouble with her lately; it's actually my grandmother. She is never happy and always has something to complain about. She also always threatens to move out and go to a nursing home if someone isn't there to sit with her and talk with her all the time. In fact, my mother had to quit her job because of the situation because my grandmother manipulated her into it. My mother's mental stability has been greatly affected by the situation as well and the more I think about it the more I believe that my grandmother may be suffering from a case of dementia.

I know this is beginning to be more of a health and wellness situation but I am very worried for everyone in my family's wellbeing. And these rude comments have shed a light on how my grandmother has apparently been treating my mother and father behind the closed doors of their own home. I'm just wondering how I should respond to her Louis Vuitton comments without escalating the situation for everyone involved, because if I say anything that remotely does not agree with her she throws a fit which upsets my parents in addition to her.

It is very exhausting to be a caregiver. In addition, caring for someone your Grandmothers age comes with many extra challenges in itself. As for your Grandmother, it's not easy being that age. All the aches and pains that have become a regular part of life will eventually manifest itself in other ways like being mean, grouchy etc. It's probably best you put your thick skin on as ol' folks aren't going to change at that point in life. We are not all blessed to have sweet old parents or grandparents. If you've noticed the effect caregiving for grandma has had on your mom, perhaps you can 'donate' your time by watching over Grandma (take her on an outing/to church or something) thereby giving your Mom a much needed break.

lvmk · Apr 5, 2016

miss_chiff said:
It is very exhausting to be a caregiver. In addition, caring for someone your Grandmothers age comes with many extra challenges in itself. As for your Grandmother, it's not easy being that age. All the aches and pains that have become a regular part of life will eventually manifest itself in other ways like being mean, grouchy etc. It's probably best you put your thick skin on as ol' folks aren't going to change at that point in life. We are not all blessed to have sweet old parents or grandparents. If you've noticed the effect caregiving for grandma has had on your mom, perhaps you can 'donate' your time by watching over Grandma (take her on an outing/to church or something) thereby giving your Mom a much needed break.

You're absolutely right! I need to make an effort. My grandmother and I used to be very, very close but after her health started to go and she would constantly make derogatory remarks I gave up on trying to spend time with her. I am truly going to make an effort to spend more time with her. Thank you for the heartfelt advice. :heart:

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