Men don't like complimenting women, fearing their good intentions will be misinterpreted
As every woman knows, a simple compliment can brighten a gloomy day.
But in these politically-correct times, it seems, gentle flattery has become something of a lost art.
Not only are men failing to compliment female friends and colleagues for fear of causing offence - but women are highly likely to suspect the motives of the individual offering the admiring comment.
Two-thirds feel uncomfortable if someone other than a partner offers praise, and a similar number mistrust the motives of the man behind the praise.
Unfortunately for women, this all presents something of a conundrum because, according to research, nine out of ten claim they love to be complimented.
Experts have set an ideal 'compliment quota' of five a day.
But even for women in long-term relationships, compliments are few and far between.
Two-thirds of women questioned for the survey by Loire Valley White Wines complained that their partners praise them less than they did five years ago.
Only 16 per cent said they received the magic five a day.
One in eight of the 1,000 women surveyed said that not a single man had complimented them in the past three months.
Relationship expert Christine Webber said: "In my experience, women do care a great deal about what people think about them. A compliment massively boosts self-esteem.
"And whilst it may seem somewhat frivolous, it is in fact a vital ingredient for well-being."
But she added that British women were often not as gracious about receiving compliments as their European neighbours.
"If a man says, 'Your hair looks nice', she should not be saying, 'It needs washing'. "Or if he says 'You are in great shape' it is churlish to reply, 'I am four pounds overweight'."
She said many men were terrified of an innocent remark being wrongly interpreted.
"I think political correctness and fear of saying the wrong thing is the main cause of men failing to compliment women who are not their partners," she added.
She recommended, perhaps not too surprisingly, that men should steer clear of complimenting breasts, bottoms and legs with non-partners.
The trick, apparently, is to make someone feel good about themselves, rather than coming over as smarmy or, worse, "a bit lecherous".
Women do not just want to be complimented on their appearance-In fact, favourite subjects of praise were being a good listener or adviser, or admiration for their ability to juggle a career and home life.
However, the age-old desire to be complimented on being well turned out is as strong as ever.
Some 81 per cent long to hear that their hairstyle or outfit is nice, followed by 79 per cent hoping to hear that they are stylish and 73 per cent that they look slimmer.
According to Miss Webber, compliments are crucial to good relationships.
"We have busy lives and people tend to assume a lot and forget to say things," she said. "And yet compliments can act like oil in an engine - they help everything to run smoother. "Couples who give frequent compliments to one another tend to treat each other with courtesy and respect and that helps keep their relationships alive."
Article by Beth Hale. The Daily Mail
I found it to be interesting with some very valid points.
100%
(Thank God, only got that once) weight in general with a woman is walking on very thin ice
