The HHSIL - how does one handle her?

gina_b

gina_b

Member
Jul 27, 2006
3,029
685
#1
There's always a lot of talk about the PHH, the HHDH, the PHBF... but does anyone have any experience with purse and/or Hermes-hating Sisters-In-Law? Of course we can't all have a dream SIL who turns out not only to be a new addition to the family, but also, and more importantly ( :P ) a shopping buddy! But we can dream, surely.

But what about the worst case scenario: when your SIL or potential SIL doesn't just bat for the other team (wears only LV, for example), but still worse -- verbally denounces H and other luxury brands and can't condone, much less fathom, a luxury purchase?

Now, let me clarify that I don't have a SIL. But I may one day. And I was wondering how does one handle that sort of situation?

Do you hide your Hermes?
Go so far as to wear an entirely different wardrobe in her presence?
Avoid any discussions about spending?
Or, would you simply not care and act as you are? (this latter is what I think I would be inclined to do, since I'm a lazy actress and wouldn't be able to keep up the act for long)

Thoughts? Experiences? Anyone?
 
#2
I avoid mine entirely...


for some reason she thinks it is her business how we spend our money....but yet she is still living with her parents in Palm Beach...driving their BMW....playing tennis... (oh and she doesn't have a job...and is not a trust fund baby ether)...

after years of trying to bond and be nice...I discoivered that she had no boundaries so I created them for her...
 
#3
Love your answer, Quinn's Mom...

gina_b I would avoid the woman entirely. If she can't be nice you don't have to put up with her.

I've never understood families with members who are mean or nasty to others. Why do people put up with them? My SILs are both very nice. I don't think they notice or care what I wear. But, that's beside the point.

If brother or Mom or Dad won't get together without nasty SIL, then they can very well get together without you or me.

Simple......well, not really, but at least it takes care of THAT problem. Why can't people just be kind to one another?
 
#4
Oh no, QM! I imagine that I might do exactly the same in that situation. But then... don't you miss spending time with your brother? I think I would.

I don't understand why others would consider it their business how other people spend their own money. Perhaps it's jealousy? Self-righteousness? :s
 
#5
gina_b said:
Oh no, QM! I imagine that I might do exactly the same in that situation. But then... don't you miss spending time with your brother? I think I would.

I don't understand why others would consider it their business how other people spend their own money. Perhaps it's jealousy? Self-righteousness? :s
Click to expand...

gina, that's a good question and a good point. I wasn't thinking that way exactly, as I have no brothers only BILs and SILs. And, naturally, brother would be on the side of his wife, the SIL. ( this is getting complicated )

Well, let's just hope any brothers will marry confident wives who will have no reason to care or gossip about their new SILs.
 
#6
gina_b said:
Oh no, QM! I imagine that I might do exactly the same in that situation. But then... don't you miss spending time with your brother? I think I would.

I don't understand why others would consider it their business how other people spend their own money. Perhaps it's jealousy? Self-righteousness? :s
Click to expand...

Ah..this is my husband's sister..they were never close...so we really don't miss her...I tried for his sake and his parents....but she didn't...
 
#7
Interesting question. My SIL and I have nothing in common unfortunately, so the chances of her knowing or caring about my bags are next to nil. IF I had a SIL who was that antagonistic about Hermes I may just speak up and sweetly say to each their own.

I actually avoid carrying anything lux in front of my inlaws in general (we see them only a few times a year) moreso to avoid the once over from MIL who is very sweet but quite frugal, and to avoid any possibly icky discussions she may have with DH. Out of love for him and his family, I just try and be very low-key whenever we visit. If it's something simple that I can do like avoiding carrying a handbag for a day or so, it's fine by me. In the end the family wins out over the stuff so whatever I can do to keep the peace as long as it's not sacrificing my character or moral beliefs...it's fine.
 
#8
isus said:
And, naturally, brother would be on the side of his wife, the SIL. ( this is getting complicated )

Well, let's just hope any brothers will marry confident wives who will have no reason to care or gossip about their new SILs.
Click to expand...

It actually would be quite complicated, especially if your brother is quite close to you - then he may have to be forced to choose sides, and when that happens, everyone loses. :sad:

(So I guess you got off lucky, QM! :smile: )

Orchids, I think your approach is sensible and considerate. If a future SIL of mine was quite hatefully judgmental about my or my family's purchases, I only hope I can reply as gracefully as you would have.

Anyone ever try converting a HHSIL into a H fan? With any success?
 
#9
I avoid mine completely as we are total opposites in every way imaginable.....and she doesn't keep it a secret that she just doesn't like me at all. So.....for me, it's very easy.

I think though if I had to be thrown together with her on a somewhat regular basis, it would be a problem. And, I'd most likely not carry any brand or big-ticket item while in her presence out of respect for the rest of the family.
 
#12
I use nr.1 and 3. and it has worked so far. My SIL is really a sweet person but we have very different opinions on what money should be spent on. Also, well she's a bit nosey and she used to make me uncomfortable but as soon as I got the avoiding thing down it got a lot better. It also helped that I like her a lot.
 
#15
thereallouis said:
Beat her over the head with your gorgeous croc kelly.
She'll learn.. Fast
Click to expand...


:roflmfao::roflmfao::roflmfao:

seriously, i dont feel the need to excuse myself or even the need to 'explain'. there is always 2 sides of the coin: open-mindedness and jealousies/self-righteousness. its their problem on how they will adapt. i care more about parents-in-laws than SIL's, i agree with orchids. but if there is no PIL's involve...to each his own. its not your fault if SIL's is jealous and feel the need of compromising yourself. IMO:smile:
 
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