When people give you crap about buying designer purses

GeorgiaGirl67

GeorgiaGirl67

Member
Feb 26, 2014
873
368
#1
What do you say to people who blast you for buying designer purses, especially high-end ones like Chanel?

I ask because I am a recent first-time owner of a preloved Chanel and LV bag. I've always dreamed of what it would be like to own just one of each brand, and recent circumstances made it possible for me to finally do it. I got the LV for about 50% off and the Chanel (here it is http://www.malleries.com/authentic-chanel-etoupe-tassel-hobo-bag-i-129002-s-333.html) for about 75% off. Great deals, I thought. I was thrilled. The Chanel will be my fall/winter bag and the LV my spring/summer bag. I'll get plenty of use out of them.

For those of you who haven't seen my other posts, the past few years have been rough ... advanced breast cancer and Stage 4 kidney disease. Things are just now looking up, so the purse purchases were a way to boost my morale and self-confidence after spending so much time bottom dwelling. (Although I'm still dealing with the kidney disease).

My mom doesn't understand any of this, though. She has done nothing but yell at me since I got them (sadly I have to live with my parents right now due to my health problems). She's ruining any enjoyment. I feel so dang GUILTY now! :nogood:

She says I'm acting like a teenager and that I just bought them for the names. Names did play a part because it's the fulfillment of a long-held dream, but a bigger reason for me is QUALITY. I'm at the point now where I'd rather have a couple of well-made bags than a closet full of cheap, shoddy ones I have to keep replacing. Same goes for clothes. I'll buy preloved, though, and get the best price I possibly can.

I don't really give a rip what Joe Schmo on the street thinks, but when it's your parent what do you do?
 
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#3
Well, there's lots of things to say regarding this. I don't know your background so I don't want to assume. As far as for personal experience, my parents grew up in more difficult times than I did for sure. My mom lived in Asia and was constantly hungry as a child and definitely lived below the poverty level and only received up to 8th grade education. She doesn't understand how we as a society currently treat our pets like our children and splurge on expensive things like Chanel bags. She's never splurged on herself in this manner before. We just went to asia this past fall and I took her with me to get a full body massage. She never had one before. I think it's a generational gap perhaps or just a different perspective how how she grew up vs how you grew up. Her goals back then were different than your goals right now. By the way great news your health is on the upward swing. And hopefully your kidney issues will continue to get better. I think in your instance I would splurge as well, you prob been couped up dealing with your health for so long that its time to do something positive for yourself. I know it's hard to deal w your mom saying those things and also living w her as well but at the same time I would look at it as just her opinion as you also have yours. You guys can agree to disagree.... Cheers to your health! Keep it up!!
 
#4
Just wishing you the best of health and a speedy recovery... Maybe it's the generational gap like mentioned above or just your mom not quite understanding the need of splurging in such luxury as she thinks... My advice to you is that if it brings happiness into your life than enjoy it!! Hopefully, she will come around or at least respect your choices.
Again, cheers to your good health!!😊
 
#5
Cuteandcouture said:
Well, there's lots of things to say regarding this. I don't know your background so I don't want to assume. As far as for personal experience, my parents grew up in more difficult times than I did for sure. My mom lived in Asia and was constantly hungry as a child and definitely lived below the poverty level and only received up to 8th grade education. She doesn't understand how we as a society currently treat our pets like our children and splurge on expensive things like Chanel bags. She's never splurged on herself in this manner before. We just went to asia this past fall and I took her with me to get a full body massage. She never had one before. I think it's a generational gap perhaps or just a different perspective how how she grew up vs how you grew up. Her goals back then were different than your goals right now. By the way great news your health is on the upward swing. And hopefully your kidney issues will continue to get better. I think in your instance I would splurge as well, you prob been couped up dealing with your health for so long that its time to do something positive for yourself. I know it's hard to deal w your mom saying those things and also living w her as well but at the same time I would look at it as just her opinion as you also have yours. You guys can agree to disagree.... Cheers to your health! Keep it up!!
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Thank you! She's 70 and did grow up very poor. I'm 46. And you nailed it when you said I've probably been cooped up! I was diagnosed with the kidney disease in 2008 after nearly dying from acute kidney failure and the cancer followed in 2009. Sadly there is no cure for the kidney disease but I have been cancer free four years. It could come back anytime, though, because it was in my lymph nodes. I also had a ginormous blood clot in my leg in 2012. It's just been one thing after another.

The thing with her is, she can't and won't just drop it. "Agree to disagree" isn't in her vocabulary. She will grind that guilt as much as possible. :lecture:
 
#6
I'm so sorry to hear this and I know it's difficult especially coming from your mom. Have you tried explaining your point of view while she is expressing her disapproval?

I wouldn't let it bother you too much so just try to enjoy your toys and understand that coming from a different generation, it's only natural for them to see value in different things. Heck, even people amongst the same generation have different views on what 'value' means.

*hugs* hope you feel brighter!
 
#7
My mom does not understand it AT ALL either. I get snide remarks all of the time from her and I can't lie, it does bother me. But the bottom line is that I work really hard, have gone through my fair share of life struggles (as most of have or will at some point), and at this time in my life, I have to do what makes ME happy. I do not involve her or show her any of my purchases anymore and that has helped alleviate some of the tension. Do what makes YOU happy. You really do not have to justify your purchases to anyone. As cuteandcouture mentioned, my mom did not grow up w much and got hand me downs most of her younger years. I do think that plays a part in her thoughts. Enjoy your bags and cheers to feeling better! :smile:
 
#8
I don't get why so many people think loving designer bags is so wrong. To be honest, no, I can't see spending $2000 to $4,000 on a purse, but if others can, MORE POWER TO 'EM! I've learned all too well life is short. Do what makes you happy while you can.

The last thing I expected to be doing on Oct. 1, 2009 six days before my 42nd birthday was sitting in a doctor's office hearing the words, "You have Stage 3C breast cancer." It changes your perspective on life.
 
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#9
tiffany_ said:
I'm so sorry to hear this and I know it's difficult especially coming from your mom. Have you tried explaining your point of view while she is expressing her disapproval?

I wouldn't let it bother you too much so just try to enjoy your toys and understand that coming from a different generation, it's only natural for them to see value in different things. Heck, even people amongst the same generation have different views on what 'value' means.

*hugs* hope you feel brighter!
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Yes I have and she won't listen. Just keeps yelling that I'm wasting money and that I should save everything in case something else bad happens. I don't want to live my life in constant fear of the unknown, though. I understand being prepared, but ya gotta have some fun!
 
#10
Well the important thing is your health and well being. I'm sorry she's not as understanding and positive regarding how you want to treat yourself. It's gotta be rough dealing with that but you just need to think about that as an endearing quality from your mom. She's gonna feel what she feels and maybe you can't change that and she'll always be your mom, even at 46 years old... Lol don't let it get you down and think positive. You have overcome many great obstacles.....
 
#11
Scarlett1013 said:
My mom does not understand it AT ALL either. I get snide remarks all of the time from her and I can't lie, it does bother me. But the bottom line is that I work really hard, have gone through my fair share of life struggles (as most of have or will at some point), and at this time in my life, I have to do what makes ME happy. I do not involve her or show her any of my purchases anymore and that has helped alleviate some of the tension. Do what makes YOU happy. You really do not have to justify your purchases to anyone. As cuteandcouture mentioned, my mom did not grow up w much and got hand me downs most of her younger years. I do think that plays a part in her thoughts. Enjoy your bags and cheers to feeling better! :smile:
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Thanks! I totally agree!
 
#12
I really think that you gave a lot of thought before you bought what you did, you found good prices for these items, they don't scream designer, and are practical lasting purchases. You really never do know what's going to happen tomorrow, and at some point you do have to just enjoy your life with all that you can. So long as your basics are covered, it's really and truly okay to reward yourself with a few extravagant items (your well priced bags). We all have our own struggles and burdens (well, most of us have had these, or some of us, or whatever...I have anyway) and life is indeed too short to always be waiting for this or that. I'd choose the low road and not share with her what you buy or how much it costs. Let it be your own personal happy place, if you know what I mean. It's sad that she can't share it, but you can share here and find acceptance, and hopefully you will find others with whom you can share these "secret" indulgences. We all need them, whether it's a bottle of pop, a manicure, or a special bag. Life is really about the little things; if you wait until a big thing happens, life can pass you by. You really do have to enjoy the small moments that make up each day. At times, as you well know, life totally sucks, and you get handed a really bum deal that you don't deserve. You pick yourself up, deal with it, and go on. Happy things are the same way. You have to have something to brighten up your days. So enjoy those bags, carry them happily and don't let her words get you down. You have indeed earned them, have bought them with care and a lot of investigation and study, and they should have happy thoughts attached to them. Hang in there! Your mom needs to learn to separate your actions (and what you buy) from you. That's her lesson to learn. :smile:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
chasing my rainbow!
 
#13
GeorgiaGirl67 said:
Yes I have and she won't listen. Just keeps yelling that I'm wasting money and that I should save everything in case something else bad happens. I don't want to live my life in constant fear of the unknown, though. I understand being prepared, but ya gotta have some fun!
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Oooh GeorgiaGirl, please please please enjoy your purchases. You cannot live your life in fear of the unknown. Things can and will happen to all of us at any given point. Unfortunately, this is life. As it is very important to save, we are all deservant of a few special pieces. And as Tutu mentioned, you found some amazing deals on them. Keep your chin up :smile:
 
#14
tutushopper said:
I really think that you gave a lot of thought before you bought what you did, you found good prices for these items, they don't scream designer, and are practical lasting purchases. You really never do know what's going to happen tomorrow, and at some point you do have to just enjoy your life with all that you can. So long as your basics are covered, it's really and truly okay to reward yourself with a few extravagant items (your well priced bags). We all have our own struggles and burdens (well, most of us have had these, or some of us, or whatever...I have anyway) and life is indeed too short to always be waiting for this or that. I'd choose the low road and not share with her what you buy or how much it costs. Let it be your own personal happy place, if you know what I mean. It's sad that she can't share it, but you can share here and find acceptance, and hopefully you will find others with whom you can share these "secret" indulgences. We all need them, whether it's a bottle of pop, a manicure, or a special bag. Life is really about the little things; if you wait until a big thing happens, life can pass you by. You really do have to enjoy the small moments that make up each day. At times, as you well know, life totally sucks, and you get handed a really bum deal that you don't deserve. You pick yourself up, deal with it, and go on. Happy things are the same way. You have to have something to brighten up your days. So enjoy those bags, carry them happily and don't let her words get you down. You have indeed earned them, have bought them with care and a lot of investigation and study, and they should have happy thoughts attached to them. Hang in there! Your mom needs to learn to separate your actions (and what you buy) from you. That's her lesson to learn. :smile:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
chasing my rainbow!
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Amen! Thank you! Yes, these were not splurge purchases by any stretch. I spent hours researching each brand then visiting several websites with great reputations for selling authentic items. I had strict, almost impossible-to-meet criteria. I wanted each bag to be not easily recognizable, classy, timeless, in excellent condition and uncommon or rare ... all for around $500! Not an easy feat, right? Surprisingly I found each within a day and a half of beginning my search. This may sound crazy, but I honestly feel like they were a blessing from God after everything I've been through.

Although this is the Chanel forum, this is the LV I got if anyone wants to see it. http://www.malleries.com/louis-vuit...in-canvas-handbag-m92415-i-137637-s-2783.html

Unfortunately I can't slide purchases by her as she gets most of the packages that are delivered here. Sigh.
 
#15
Scarlett1013 said:
Oooh GeorgiaGirl, please please please enjoy your purchases. You cannot live your life in fear of the unknown. Things can and will happen to all of us at any given point. Unfortunately, this is life. As it is very important to save, we are all deservant of a few special pieces. And as Tutu mentioned, you found some amazing deals on them. Keep your chin up :smile:
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Thank you. Very sweet of you to say.
 
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