Uh oh. I think I hate one of my boyfriends bestfriends.

sheishollywood

sheishollywood

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O.G.
Nov 29, 2006
4,374
23
#1
So my boyfriend and I got back together after being on a break for a few weeks. I was totally :crybaby:about the whole situation and I had to deal with it by surrounding myself with friends who try to keep it off my mind. My boyfriend on the other hand, when it comes to situations like these, he crawls into a little corner to deal with things himself. So for those few weeks he rarely went out, he never partied, but he did talk to one of his friends.

His friend is a lady. Let's call her Cindy. Funny is that I never was jealous of her or anything like that because I know my boyfriend VERY well and she's more like one of the guys to him. But it's also funny that 'Cindy' and I use to be friends as well. But things had changed once my bf and I started having problems.

When we were having our problems she's one of those regurgitate advice givers. The problem was because that I am a very head on business type woman in the music industry and he's someone who has a lot of talent (playing guitar/drums/producing etc and in his band) but he is definitely not business savvy. So he wanted to kind of part ways to really see if i'm his leverage because he didn't want that. After a few weeks he realized what a huge mistake he had made and he came back to me. The problem was very much in his own security. I knew he had to figure things out for himself so I stayed back and waited for him to come back to me. Then she goes and tells him "Maybe she's not the right one for you, if you let her go and she comes back it's meant to be". Things that really don't surface on our problem. So that happened, and i'm okay with that. I mean. He was upset, what is she suppose to do? She's not expected to give good advice, but she chose to open her mouth anyway.

So I let that pass.

A few days ago, I found out that she was basically talking behind my back. What is this girl who's 3 years older than me talking about her friends gf? The thing that puzzles me is that my boyfriend and her don't hang out a lot, they've just been good friend since high school. Last weekend she even asked if all of us wanted to go for lunch, yet she's telling people about our business and how i'm a really bad girlfriend? When in reality (not trying to be self-absorbed) I think I'm doing a pretty damn good job.

It just makes me so frustrated because she knows that if she wanted to hang out with him on her own, I wouldn't be worried nor would I say a thing. Don't be fake and then talk about me as if I'm minuscule to her.

*airrr*

Thanks for letting me rant ladies:smile:
 
#2
Hmmm... given the fact that she's his friend and she's been talking to him about this break-up and not you, perhaps he's been giving her the idea that you are, in fact, a bad gf?? Can you trust these people telling you what she's saying? Have you talked to your man about it?
You know, really, I'm the type to confront. I'd talk to your bf first and clear up what he's said. If he's only told her the facts and made it seem like no one's to blame for the break up, then I'd talk to her about it. I'd just tell her that your friends have been telling you that she's talking $hit and you wanted to clear the air. You really want to remain friends and make sure everyone gets everything out into the open. Then kind of go from there.
 
#3
Could she have a crush on your boyfriend and wish she was with him and not you?????
I would ignore all she does. If you are around her I would kill her with kindness in that tone like you really like her (hahaha).....it will probably drive her up the walls.:yahoo:
Good luck. I would not pay attention to what she says to others, by not replying she is the one who looks like a gossip.
 
#4
Charles said:
Hmmm... given the fact that she's his friend and she's been talking to him about this break-up and not you, perhaps he's been giving her the idea that you are, in fact, a bad gf?? Can you trust these people telling you what she's saying? Have you talked to your man about it?
You know, really, I'm the type to confront. I'd talk to your bf first and clear up what he's said. If he's only told her the facts and made it seem like no one's to blame for the break up, then I'd talk to her about it. I'd just tell her that your friends have been telling you that she's talking $hit and you wanted to clear the air. You really want to remain friends and make sure everyone gets everything out into the open. Then kind of go from there.
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I confronted him when the incident first started because for the bad talking and he even told me (and showed me text messages to prove to me) that he wasn't giving that impression. It was like, he said "I really miss her, but I can't make her go through me trying to figure things out and after all this I have no loved her any less, in fact i'm probably going to blow up because my love for her has grown so much more" (in that vain) and she would shut it down and was like "She's not for you, find someone else" kind of thing.

I don't think me and her talking about this would go over too well. She's very defensive.

I Trust my friends who tell me because they all have common friends now from school and other places. And they were there when she had said things. Stupid? I think so.

I just really HATE fake people. If you don't like me, that's fine. I don't want to hang out with you. However, don't give my bf that impression that you like the love of his life (so to speak) and then turn around and go "I want to hang out with Aaron (let's call him that) but his damn gf is always there". I'm only there because he wants me to be there.

:confused1:
 
#5
sheishollywood said:
I confronted him when the incident first started because for the bad talking and he even told me (and showed me text messages to prove to me) that he wasn't giving that impression. It was like, he said "I really miss her, but I can't make her go through me trying to figure things out and after all this I have no loved her any less, in fact i'm probably going to blow up because my love for her has grown so much more" (in that vain) and she would shut it down and was like "She's not for you, find someone else" kind of thing.
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Well, to be fair, that doesn't sound like she was talking smack, rather of the thinking that people break up for a reason, so move on and be done with it.
 
#6
Charles said:
Well, to be fair, that doesn't sound like she was talking smack, rather of the thinking that people break up for a reason, so move on and be done with it.
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Oh that was just in response to if I had contronted him. Basically, after the whole initial seperation she just gave her two bits. But after we had gotten back together. Recently she has been talking about me in comparison to his ex and to people I don't know (even in the presence of my friends) about the way I am as a person and a girlfriend. But she has no idea who I am outside of just being her friend's girlfriend.

Just frustrated that's all. But I mean, if she wants to waste her time talking about her buddie's girlfriend I won't stop her. It just feels like high school ALL OVER again.
 
#8
Whenever i have bfs if they have a problem with our relationship they always go to my best friend to talk about it, and then I guess she's supposed to tell me. It's really stupid, because I always think if they have a problem with our relationship they should be able to just come to me and tell me, (what they do like that seems kind of cowardly that they just can't tell me) instead of having to tell my best friend, and then it's her job to tell me. I usually don't like this, because then your friend could like really get involved in it (it's happened to me before) and be like, "Well he told me how he feels and he doesn't mean anything in a mean way." And there's just more possible fights that could happen between friends that way. Why all the bfs I ever had cannot just confront me about our problems, I will never understand!!
 
#9
kissmyace108 said:
This sucks so bad...my boyfriend has a girl like this in his surroundings too ....hard situation but I try to just let it slide..its tough but whatever shes stupid!
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Haha exactly! That's how I end it, she's just stupid.

Technically she is his friend and we just because really good friends because of my bf. My bf and I are both really outgoing. We're both musicians, we like adventures etc so we do a lot of things with friends. So, I could just look at it at she's only my friend because i'm her friends girlfriend. However, after all these years, i'd think she'd kind of get to know me well enough to not take that kind of stance in our situation. Don't discuss to people I don't know how i'm a bad girlfriend. I'm not her girlfriend so she has NO idea what goes on in our lives.

But like you said, whatever they're stupid! :yes:
 
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