Hey,
i don't know if i can get out of this dinner thing. i can't think of a way to do so so i decided to ask you savvy TPFers.
I have this very distant relative. It's so distant i don't even know how we're related except that we are. We're about the same age though We've never been close, we see each other every year or two or 3 when we bump into each other at a wedding or some dinner.
i think she wants to develop a relationship and she's been asking me to have dinner etc. but i'm not keen about this only because she asks questions that, to me, are invasive and personal. and when i give vague answers she doesn't get the idea that she's suppose to back off. i don't mind having dinner and talking about movies and bags but i'm not going to be sharing what's going on in my personal life with her. not now, not ever.
I don't want to offend her or hurt her but at the same time i'm not very keen to develop a relationship with someone who doesn't know how to maintain the appropriate boundaries.
i would like to NOT have to meet up with her. but is there any way i can do that without offending her or alienating her?? I can't think of any way to do that.
Do i just have to drag myself to have dinner with her while she asks questions that i do not want to answer but that i'll have to answer because i can't say "actually that's too personal, i don't want to answer it". she would consider that rude and then goodness knows who she'll complain to and it'll get back to my family and I'll be the evil one again. sigh.
my savvy tpfers, please help!!
i don't know if i can get out of this dinner thing. i can't think of a way to do so so i decided to ask you savvy TPFers.
I have this very distant relative. It's so distant i don't even know how we're related except that we are. We're about the same age though We've never been close, we see each other every year or two or 3 when we bump into each other at a wedding or some dinner.
i think she wants to develop a relationship and she's been asking me to have dinner etc. but i'm not keen about this only because she asks questions that, to me, are invasive and personal. and when i give vague answers she doesn't get the idea that she's suppose to back off. i don't mind having dinner and talking about movies and bags but i'm not going to be sharing what's going on in my personal life with her. not now, not ever.
I don't want to offend her or hurt her but at the same time i'm not very keen to develop a relationship with someone who doesn't know how to maintain the appropriate boundaries.
i would like to NOT have to meet up with her. but is there any way i can do that without offending her or alienating her?? I can't think of any way to do that.
Do i just have to drag myself to have dinner with her while she asks questions that i do not want to answer but that i'll have to answer because i can't say "actually that's too personal, i don't want to answer it". she would consider that rude and then goodness knows who she'll complain to and it'll get back to my family and I'll be the evil one again. sigh.
my savvy tpfers, please help!!