Workplace Is this insult acceptable?

#46
Here is a response from the OP:

my response to the thread:

thank you everyone for your input. the advice from CM was exactly what I was looking for.

with this friend of mine....i actually think he got a case. in terms of financial loss...i can't say there's any on paper. but his friend became less and less confident. his work load is like 2 people's workload. the boss would stop by his desk at 4pm and demand something the next day morning, or stop by his desk at 9 am and expect something afternoon..that's his regular life. and recently he's working with a manager so the boss bothers him less but the boss would always make sure he's a little potato to the team and to the client.
....as far as i know. he's very stressed. so i would say it's more of a impact in his health...we have known each other years...and he's less sharp (quite significantly..but who can prove that) than i first met him. he told me either his kidney or liver got bubbles. it went from 2 bubbles to 4 bubbles...sometimes even i had a hard time understanding him. and he once got ulcer and gone to hospital.
nothing is tangible.....
the fact that he wouldn't stand up for himself is 10000000 times worse than this evil boss...

btw, the few people sit down with the boss is not going to work. we all need our pay checks and we can't fight for him. most of us are able to defend ourselves...the boss would back off a little...it's a little stressful (understatement) to deal with evil but much easier to deal with than find a new job at this current market.

oh i missed something:

like you already know...the boss is racist so there're only the very very few of us....he can afford to replace the few of us.

my friend wants to be laid off but the boss is keeping him as a punching bag. he wants to take 3 months off with unemployment sit home and rest before move on to the next thing. i told him he can just relax and not making the deadline but he said that's not who he is. i told him his one foot is already in the coffin...no body cares who he is.
he's very stubborn and spineless. not a very good combo in characters.
 
#47
This is very unfortunate but I think the best solution is for the individual to address the boss and say "comments such as xyz are unacceptable to me" -- if this doesn't work than looking for a new job seems like the best option

I'm concerned that this is a company with "a handful of people" -- we are not talking about a Walmart or deep pockets Fortune 500 company -- I'm not a lawyer but it's my understanding EEOC rules only apply to companies with more than 15 employees -- even if there was any basis for a lawsuit the cost could bankrupt the company or the owners could just decide to shut down

I posted this before I saw the most recent response -- in my line of work it's competely reasonable to ask for something at 4 pm -- sounds like this is just a difficult workplace with an unpleasant boss --not really seeing discrimination here at least based on what has been posted
 
#50
bagnshoofetish said:
the fact that he wouldn't stand up for himself is 10000000 times worse than this evil boss...

btw, the few people sit down with the boss is not going to work. we all need our pay checks and we can't fight for him. most of us are able to defend ourselves...


my friend .....

.... i told him his one foot is already in the coffin...no body cares who he is.
he's very stubborn and spineless. not a very good combo in characters.
Click to expand...


OK, now I'm confused.
 
#51
Echoes said:
OK, now I'm confused.
Click to expand...

sorry. OP is referring to her friend. He is the one being bullied by his boss. he is the one who is spineless and won't confront him. but he whines to the OP about it every time something happens.
my advice to the OP was to let him fight his own battle and not to absorb his problem. And to tell him to stop dumping on the OP as she can't do anything for him and he is just draining her.
 
#52
I think if I was in this position, the first thing I would do is respond to the boss's email with something like:

You have misread my email dated xxx (my original email is below for reference)
I did not write 'do something today' I actually wrote "we will do the SAME THING today"
I do not understand your comment 'somsing' - please elaborate (or please explain what you meant by this)


I would probably also blind copy other staff into the email (who have also received similar emails and responses from the boss, to start collecting written evidence of his racism). I would then sit and wait, and see how the boss responds.

At the same time, I would quietly get on with my work and look for another job ASAP
 
#53
bagnshoofetish said:
sorry. OP is referring to her friend. He is the one being bullied by his boss. he is the one who is spineless and won't confront him. but he whines to the OP about it every time something happens.
my advice to the OP was to let him fight his own battle and not to absorb his problem. And to tell him to stop dumping on the OP as she can't do anything for him and he is just draining her.
Click to expand...

I agree with all of this too - there isnt really much anyone can do if this man wont stick up for himself.... thats probably one of the reasons why the boss thinks he can get away with those nasty and uncalled for comments!
 
#54
bagnshoofetish said:
sorry. OP is referring to her friend. He is the one being bullied by his boss. he is the one who is spineless and won't confront him. but he whines to the OP about it every time something happens.
my advice to the OP was to let him fight his own battle and not to absorb his problem. And to tell him to stop dumping on the OP as she can't do anything for him and he is just draining her.
Click to expand...

Yes. Sadly, even though just because he can't stick up for himself doesn't mean he deserves the treatment, in this situation only he can be the voice and attempt to resolve it to make things better for him.
 
#55
It's important to realize too that if you give him advice, and the whole thing goes horribly wrong, he probably will blame the OP, rather than taking on any responsibility for decisions he makes as a result of any advice. I think I'd stay out of it to be honest.
 
#56
Wow.. that's rude. And so unprofessional.

I say have your friend look for another job OR confront the boss (which I dont think it will go well considering the boss is immature) -- but just suggest it. In the end it's their decision after all if they want to stick with a boss like that. If your friend keeps complaining and does NOTHING of it... then just stay tight-lipped and have him/her deal about it. They'll just have to come to a point that they somehow FINALLY grow a spine and can leave that place to find another job.
 
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#58
AuntieMame said:
Because they went on strike not complained about discrimination.
Click to expand...

I was just making the point that companies can and do get rid of entire workforces at one time. That was just an analogy. Reason is irrelevant. I'm just saying that it can and does happen that entire offices may be let go at one time. I've seen it happen at law firms where they wanted to phase out all the older higher-paid staff for young, lower-paid staff.
 
#59
bagnshoofetish said:
Here is a response from the OP:

my response to the thread:

thank you everyone for your input. the advice from CM was exactly what I was looking for.

with this friend of mine....i actually think he got a case. in terms of financial loss...i can't say there's any on paper. but his friend became less and less confident. his work load is like 2 people's workload. the boss would stop by his desk at 4pm and demand something the next day morning, or stop by his desk at 9 am and expect something afternoon..that's his regular life. and recently he's working with a manager so the boss bothers him less but the boss would always make sure he's a little potato to the team and to the client.
....as far as i know. he's very stressed. so i would say it's more of a impact in his health...we have known each other years...and he's less sharp (quite significantly..but who can prove that) than i first met him. he told me either his kidney or liver got bubbles. it went from 2 bubbles to 4 bubbles...sometimes even i had a hard time understanding him. and he once got ulcer and gone to hospital.
nothing is tangible.....
the fact that he wouldn't stand up for himself is 10000000 times worse than this evil boss...

btw, the few people sit down with the boss is not going to work. we all need our pay checks and we can't fight for him. most of us are able to defend ourselves...the boss would back off a little...it's a little stressful (understatement) to deal with evil but much easier to deal with than find a new job at this current market.

oh i missed something:

like you already know...the boss is racist so there're only the very very few of us....he can afford to replace the few of us.

my friend wants to be laid off but the boss is keeping him as a punching bag. he wants to take 3 months off with unemployment sit home and rest before move on to the next thing. i told him he can just relax and not making the deadline but he said that's not who he is. i told him his one foot is already in the coffin...no body cares who he is.
he's very stubborn and spineless. not a very good combo in characters.
Click to expand...

Ah, okay. I didn't read anything prior to this about your working for the same boss and wondered why you needed to be anonymous. Now I understand.
 
#60
OP, the EEOC laws only apply to employers with 15 or more employees. How you count who is an "employee" is detailed at http://www.eeoc.gov/employees/coverage_private.cfm You mentioned that it's a "small" company but I don't think you ever affirmatively stated whether it was 15 employees or less.

Yes, it certainly sounds like the boss is racist, and i think everyone agrees that that is unacceptable behavior. But whether your friend should file a claim with the EEOC is an entirely different matter. charleston-mom's point about the long term consequences should be well-taken.

As for what happens if you file an EEOC claim through the agency -- your case will likely first go to mediation. You may or may not get a free attorney; it depends on whether there are any local clinics or practitioners that volunteer for those types of services. Best bet might be to check with a local law school to see if they have some sort of clinic that your friend could possibly see about becoming a client.
 
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