Did I Make the Right Choice?

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di0rwh0re33

Member
Sep 6, 2006
401
0
#1
Hi everyone!

I had some posts on here about me moving to the big apple(well really close to the big apple) and working in NYC. I've been here just about 1 1/2 months & I'm not sure if I made the right decision:shrugs:

I miss my family and friends and I have no friends here. I'm usually all by myself when I go into the city on the weekends and I don't have anyone to go out with on the weekends(and I really enjoy doing things like that). I'm really shy & it's hard for me to make friends. I don't know what to do. I was kinda hoping to meet some new people.

I'm starting to think I wasn't ready to make such a bug step in my life. Every other aspect of my life is great. But it's my social life that is suffering:sad:
 
#2
Moving to a new place, especially a big city like New York, is always lonely at first, but eventually you will meet new people and make new friends. I know that many TPF members are from NYC, so maybe one of them will see this thread and be willing to meet up with you?
 
#4
I'd give it more time. Sometimes a big change like that is hard to adapt to, but it just takes time. I agree, there are many PFers who live in NYC, maybe try to meet up with someone. You'll make new friends in no time!
 
#5
I have a cousin who is just like you - she moved out to NYC a few years ago to be with her boyfriend, and since she is so shy she's never made any friendships. She just got a new job though, and finally making an effort to interact with people her age; she's also checking out Craigslist for any social groups and activities that are happening in the city to change her social situation. It's what you make of it. You can do it, try to get yourself out there in teeny little steps. Good luck! :smile:
 
#6
I know what you mean! I also felt overwhelmed and very alone when we first moved to NYC. My boyfriend would go out the work all day until late hours of the night and I would have to find things to do on my own. It was OK because I can easily meet and talk to people everywhere, but I found out it is not always good to be chatty with strangers all the time. I have met some really nice and friendly people and you will, too.

Look into meetups.com for groups with your interest. There is a very neat group there for NYC transplants to go out and there are lots of other groups.
 
#7
I moved to Toronto in August. I have the opposite problem. I'm not lonely because I've got lots of family around both here and in Peterborough, but I cannot find a job.

I'm working towards getting the necessary certifications to get the job I want. (I saved up enough money to pay rent on my apartment for a while, and my parents are helping me out until I get a job.)

When I get really upset about my situation, I have to keep telling myself that I'm grateful for my apartment, I'm grateful that I have a big family and I'm grateful for having enough money for groceries.
(And I'm grateful for not living at home anymore.)
 
#8
caitlin1214 said:
I moved to Toronto in August. I have the opposite problem. I'm not lonely because I've got lots of family around both here and in Peterborough, but I cannot find a job.

I'm working towards getting the necessary certifications to get the job I want. (I saved up enough money to pay rent on my apartment for a while, and my parents are helping me out until I get a job.)

When I get really upset about my situation, I have to keep telling myself that I'm grateful for my apartment, I'm grateful that I have a big family and I'm grateful for having enough money for groceries.
(And I'm grateful for not living at home anymore.)
Click to expand...

yes... i am grateful for not living at home anymore lol & landing such an awesome job... but it is hard for me...

thanks everyone for your support! i hate doing things by myself.. but i guess i'll give it some more time... it has only been 1 1/2 months i feel like i have been living here longer than that!
 
#10
gr8heart said:
I know what you mean! I also felt overwhelmed and very alone when we first moved to NYC. My boyfriend would go out the work all day until late hours of the night and I would have to find things to do on my own. It was OK because I can easily meet and talk to people everywhere, but I found out it is not always good to be chatty with strangers all the time. I have met some really nice and friendly people and you will, too.

Look into meetups.com for groups with your interest. There is a very neat group there for NYC transplants to go out and there are lots of other groups.
Click to expand...

thanks for suggesting the website... seems cool... i do forget that nyc is huge because i'm usually just in my area for work..
 
#11
Im sorry that you are having a hard time ajusting to NYC.When moving to a new area this usually happends,especially in NYC. Maybe you can join some groups in your area (socials &ect). Do you go to clubs?,there is a great nightlife in NYC,maybe you can take a friend from work and meet new friends?
 
#12
I've heard it takes a year to develop any real set of friends in NYC. People are so busy that they only have time for a select few friends, so to get that close to someone is gonna take some time. Just keep going out and making yourself available. Chat it up with a girl who looks interesting. Talk with people on the Subway. You'll get there, it just takes some time.
 
#13
Joining various organizations always helps make new friends quickly. If you are religious at all-join the local church, synagogue, etc.. if not, find a group that is into something you like, volunteer someplace (local hospital, animal center).

Check out the book stores for special nights where they might have author readings (good place to meet fellow book lovers). see if your neighborhood has a local Yahoo group-I live in Park Slope, Brooklyn and the local yahoo group here is always listing various free to inexpensive things to do in the nabe.

hey-if you live in Brooklyn-look me up!
 
#14
I think what you're feeling is natural. I'd stick with it for the year, and if you're truly not happy in NYC, you can always move away. My bf moved to Chicago for me in August 2005, and it was incredibly difficult for him to adjust. He had very close friends where he moved away from, and he really missed that. There was only so much I could help him out with. It takes time to meet people, and then it takes even longer to have people you consider a good friend. I think in the past few months he finally feels that things are coming together for him. I don't think either of us expected it to take so long, but I'm very happy he stuck it out... there were definitely moments I was worried that he would move back.

I'm sure the same will happen with you. You'll start meeting people, coworkers, neighbors, etc. Is there anyone from college you can connect with? An alumni association? You can volunteer somewhere and get involved with an adult group if you are religious, one of my friends did that at her church. They had 1-2 social activities a week, so she got to see a lot of the same people and met some cool people.
 
#15
I felt like that when I was in Tampa. When I first moved there I was dating someone but then when we broke up I just felt so lonely and far away from my family that I came back home. I did meet people but never got very close to anyone. I'm kind of glad though because I like being back in New Orleans. One thing that helped me to meet people though and just get out and do things was to join a personal training gym where we worked out in groups.
 
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