Workplace Should women wear engagement rings to interviews?

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Jan 10, 2010
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Interesting topic on Huffington Post. I have never, and don't think I would, take off my engagement ring and wedding band for an interview but apparently some interviewers will hold it against you if you wear your engagement ring and they consider it too big.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathe...ng-should-you-take-the-ring-off_b_930242.html

Stressing about what to wear to a big job interview? Instead of debating skirt or pants, suit or not, some hiring managers say it's the ring you should think about ditching -- your diamond engagement ring, that is.
"Please remove your giant diamond rings," wrote one contributor to a community forum on Urbanbaby.com last week, billing her post as a public service announcement. "I work at a non-profit," she continued, "and when I interview someone who is sporting a huge diamond, I immediately deduct points from that person. I talked about this with some of my colleagues today, and they feel the same way. It's just an unnecessary risk."
The poster later clarified that she has a specific reason for resenting when applicants bring their bling to an interview: She works for a non-profit that helps African women and children suffering from the effects of the conflict diamond trade.
But her post contributed to a larger conversation sparked earlier this year in a field that has no connection to the diamond industry. In June, a women who worked at the accounting firm KPMG claimed that when she inquired about how to get a salary bump following her maternity leave, she was told that she didn't need one because she had a nice engagement ring. Now, she's suing.
When it comes to the interviewing and negotiating in the work place, are women judged for and by the rings on their fingers? And if so, why exactly?
Wearing a flashy engagement ring to an interview "has got to be a personal decision," said Karen Katz, a principal with Forum, one of the largest executive search firms in New York City. "But it could be a damaging one."
Katz, who coaches candidates before interviews, said that anything that distracts from what the applicant is saying is a negative in an interview. That includes bangle bracelets that make noise when you move your hands, eye-catching costume jewelry, strong perfumes, and, potentially, a very large engagement ring.
But the KPMG lawsuit indicates there's another way in which a big ring may send -- or be seen as sending -- a strong and perhaps the wrong message.
"Unfortunately, it could be perceived as, this person doesn't really need this job," Katz said, although she argued that no employer would ever admit that. "If they've got a ring that size, they don't need this job.'"
On top of that, Katz pointed out that a big ring could be viewed by some interviewers or colleagues as an inappropriate expenditure.
In the end, she said, it all depends on who's sitting across from you.
"I wear a diamond that is not a huge one, and I wouldn't think of not wearing it," said Katz. "But years and years ago in an interview with a client, the client jumped up and said 'Oh my god, how big is that ring?' My stone is less than a carat: its all about perception."
It's obviously unfair -- no one would ever ask a man how many carats the diamond ring he bought his wife is to determine what kind of job or salary he deserves -- but the UrbanBaby thread and the KPMG suit suggest that it happens.
Still, plenty of respondents to the Urbanbaby post who also handle hiring at their companies and organizations argued that a ring has no bearing on their decision, nor should it.
"I've hired dozens of people...honestly couldn't tell you if any of them even wear diamonds or what their jewelry was. I can remember every detail of the interviews, their cover letters, and their previous experience, though," wrote one commenter.
"Where that person went to school and her work experience speaks more to me," said another.
 
I've never worn one to an interview back in the day. I have a single pave band that I wear on my left index finger (not ring finger) for all interviews. It's enough like a wedding ring to kind of give that impression of stability, but it's not one and ... it's hard to draw any conclusions, positive or otherwise from it's placement or size. :shrugs:
 
I am not engaged or married but for the future its never even occured to me that I should take it off...

At the end of the day we can be judged on everything, bags, shoes, clothes, hairstyle, accent, place of birth etc etc. I wouldnt apply for a job that would require me to do something that would put serious pressure on my relationship so I guess for me its not an issue.

ETA: Assuming I get enagaged to my bf its highly unlikely that the ring he purchases will be large enough to warrant negative attention so again I doubt its an issue.
 
That's the dumbest thing i've ever heard, this actually makes me angry. It's like you can't wear anything to an interview without being judged, now they're telling us to not wear our engagement ring? An engagement ring is a part of you, something you wear everyday and rarely take off. Are these so called "professionals" conducting these interviews so consumed with jealousy and judgement that they can't even look past something as personal and cherished as an engagement ring? I'm seriously sick of hearing about the super strict "rules" of what to wear to an interview. Why can't they judge you based on your qualifications and the way u conduct yourself in an interview instead of how big your ring is, like seriously? I don't want to be stripped of my entire personality when i go into an interview, obviously you shouldn't show up in 6 inch loubs and your belly hanging out but c'mon, this is just getting ridiculous. Am i the only one that's really bothered by this? I feel almost like it's borderline sexist, it's like saying "if your husband makes good money, why are u even bothering with a job? Shouldn't you be a housewife, staying home and taking care of the kids like a woman should?"
 
Am i the only one that's really bothered by this? I feel almost like it's borderline sexist, it's like saying "if your husband makes good money, why are u even bothering with a job? Shouldn't you be a housewife, staying home and taking care of the kids like a woman should?"

No, it bothers me as well. Just because I have a large engagement ring, I shouldn't be offered a job? That is ludicrous.
 
I wonder if there's any information as to whether women or men pay more attention to this? I feel that it would only be an issue is someone were actively looking for a reason to "take points off" your application.
 
For the record, it IS ludicrous and sexist and outrageous for so many reason. You're being judged on what your fiance/husband has, rather than your own merits, for one.

But when you're looking for a job, you don't really have the platform to make a point. Do what you can live with yourself for doing so long as it moves you toward your goals. Then, someday, when YOU are the one hiring and firing, you can make your hiring decisions without even thinking about the size of someone's engagement ring. :yes:
 
On the flip side, some employers prefer to hire someone that doesn't NEED the paycheck, but rather works to because of their own intiative and passion to do that job to the best of their abilities.

Not hiring someone at a non-profit because they have expensive jewelry is just stupid. I haven't gotten any negative feedback from any of the arts organizations I've had informative interviews with about my jewelry or bags. Non-profits run on DONATIONS and a culture of philanthropy. If your husband is a doctor, lawyer or successful businessman... That's a whole circle of potential donors you have a personal connection to! That lady on Urbanbaby sounds like someone who dishes out her insecurities by pretending to be holier than thou--- I work for an organization that focuses on the blood diamond trade, so I don't want to hire anyone with a diamond ring BIGGER than MY OWN.

And for all those employers know, the diamond could have been part of an inheritance or contest of some sort. It boils down to people being insecure.
 
I was bothered by it too. I mean your ring could be a CZ and most of these interviewers probably would not even know the difference yet they are still passing judgment on you.

Along the same lines, I graduated from law school within the past couple of years (I clerked for a judge for 2 years hence the lag time in looking for a job) and I have wondered if it hurt my chances at all for certain jobs in my area during this tough economy for young attorneys because my father in law has a successful, well established law firm where my husband, who graduated law school 5 years before me, also works. At one job in particular that I badly wanted, some hires were made that were not nearly as qualified and did not have a great reputation even amongst many of the attorneys in the office where they were hired. They were either single or had a spouse that wasn't making very much money so without a job they would have really been struggling financially. The employer also had a reputation for asking about employees' financial situations prior to firing them and waiting months after deciding to fire someone before actually doing it (I guess when you are not hiring the most qualified people, you end up having to get rid of many of them). Of course my financial situation/marital status could have had nothing to do with why I was not hired, but it did make me wonder if this employer assumed I didn't need/want the job as badly as others because in his view I had my spouse to fall back on. I'll never know, but it frustrates me to think that who I am married to, or my last name, would have any bearing on me getting a job after I worked so hard to make sure I had an outstanding resume because I wanted to work and to have a job independent of my husband.
 
there was this girl who didn't need to work but her dad prefered her to work just to have a life experience. so she was working in our office, she was married and her engagement ring was so big like those celebrities'...you can't miss it. people were gossiping about her ring and why she was working...blah blah blah....
later i found out her father gave money to our company to hire her = pay her thru our company. i hope she'll never find out.
 
I'm not even going to apologize for my opinion -- THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I am not going to remove something I wear 99% of the time just because an interviewer might view it the wrong way. Honestly.

Does that mean you should just never wear your ring to work, too? They would have to see it sooner or later.

However, none of my daily jewelry is flashy or anything, so maybe i'm just not seeing this from the right perspective. My engagement ring is very sparkly, but modest...not large by any means.