hello all ..this is my first post. ive been on the purseforum for a while but have not posted until today..
im just going through a horrible horrible patch..let me give u guys some history..my on and off bf of 8 years and i were currently trying to work things out..we had started dating (if you wanna call it that) again, and things were better than they had ever been...he has major commitment issues, thus the reason we were on and off..however, we always seemed to come back to each other and i truly believed he was my soulmate. on nye, we had a huge fight and i told him i had enough, that i wanted him to leave me alone, but he said he couldnt do that and he wanted to make things all right. i decided to give him a chance..
so we had been hanging out almost every day for the past month and things were GREAT. we have the same circle of friends and we decided to go clubbing w/ one of our friends friday night. before going, i made sure he wanted me there, cuz it was gonna be 3 guys and me, and i didnt wanna intrude on their "guys night out" and he assured me that i wouldnt be intruding and that he wanted me to come. well, at the club, he started hitting on a girl in front of me and went to go buy her a drink. obviously, i got mad and started yelling at him. i guess he thought since we had no official title, it was ok for him to do that. well he got SO mad at me for getting mad at him, he left the club. i followed him outside to talk to him about it, and for the first time in his life, he cussed me out, called me so many names, and got SO mad at me for making him look stupid in front of the girl he was hittiing on. in our 8 year history, he had never so much as even raised his voice at me, and so i was SHOCKED. he said the most hurtful things in the worst language, even though he knows how much i hate it when people curse. he told me to leave him and his friends alone, and he never wants to talk to me again, that nothing he had w/ me mattered, cuz he was sleeping w/ 5 or 6 girls at the same time, and i had no right to tell him who he could hit on..and then he left me in the middle of downtown by myself with no phone. i had to walk back to the club alone in downtown (which isnt very safe) and find our friend who had my phone, and then call someone to pick me up.
ofcourse, i SHOULD hate him but im so incredibly hurt that i cant even bring myself to do that. i just feel so broken cuz i dunno how its possible to hurt someone that cares about u SO much. i dont see why he was so adamant about me giving him a chance if he was gonna turn around and act like this... we hung out all day friday and everything was COMPLETELY good. this sudden anger seemed to come from no where. i admit that maybe i shouldnt have yelled at him for hitting on that girl, but i still feel he overreacted. if he had even a little bit of tenderness towards me, he would not have left me alone like he did. but i dont know whats wrong w /me cuz i still miss him and im wondering what my fault was. what did i to to get that kind of reaction? hes so mad that he wont answer my phone calls, hes blocked me online, and wont reply to any texts.
any advice would be appreciated, i just feel like im walking thru the day w/o really experiencing anything