Two cat household

oggers86

oggers86

Member
Dec 7, 2008
3,571
12
#1
I have two cats at my mums and they just wont get along. Its nothing major its just annoying.

We have had Tibs since she was a baby and she was the only cat for many years. About 7 years ago, this male cat (Ginger) started hanging around after Tibs and she tolerated him rather well. That was until he moved in. I have to admit we didnt go about it the right way, he just started coming in the house a bit and then never really left so there was never the whole "we are getting a new cat and we need to do it properly"

On a good day she tolerates him and even occassionally touches noses and sleeps on the same bed (a few feet apart) but often she will just run at him and kind of attack him if he gets too close. Its suprising that even after 7 years she still cant learn to deal with him. I dont expect them to be best of friends but I just wish she could tolerate him without attacking him. The problem is that she rules the roost and hes scared of her and more often than not tries not to get too close but sometimes it happens, especially if one is going out and the other coming in. (I think there needs to be a set of traffic lights for them!)

Im basically assuming that Tibs will never accept the fact that Ginger lives here, she is now 13 and even after so long hasnt shown any sign of being more tolerant. I dont suppose anyone has any suggestions as to what we can do to stop her being so mean to him? I feel really sorry for the poor cat cos hes getting bullied by a cat half his size, yet I often tell him he needs to stand up for himself because I am sure that if he stood his ground just once, she would back off since shes basically all talk (she was scared of my hamster).

Silly kitties!!!!
 
#2
is it common that smaller cats are mean?? bf used to have a cat..orange tabby..about 6/7 lbs...she's such a pisser, always hissed at everyone and everything. until another cat came along...and her (new cat) joy was to get on her nerves....:lol:
 
#3
juneping said:
is it common that smaller cats are mean?? bf used to have a cat..orange tabby..about 6/7 lbs...she's such a pisser, always hissed at everyone and everything. until another cat came along...and her (new cat) joy was to get on her nerves....:lol:
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Lol im not sure. She is tortoishell and so sweet most of the time, she just hates him!!! I dont understand how she can hate him cos hes such a loveable big lump!!
 
#4
Honestly? I think it's a lost battle, when I brought my female and male to live with BH's male kitty he and my female fought CONSTANTLY and never got along. They lived together for 8 yrs... so some things are just personality related. She was "alpha girl" and he was "alpha male" for so long he wasn't willing to let her rule the roost. He'd pee in places she slept, hit her on the head while she was sleeping, etc. I honestly think he did it to get her attention :smile: and love... even if it came in the form of fighting.
 
#5
bunnymasseuse said:
Honestly? I think it's a lost battle, when I brought my female and male to live with BH's male kitty he and my female fought CONSTANTLY and never got along. They lived together for 8 yrs... so some things are just personality related. She was "alpha girl" and he was "alpha male" for so long he wasn't willing to let her rule the roost. He'd pee in places she slept, hit her on the head while she was sleeping, etc. I honestly think he did it to get her attention :smile: and love... even if it came in the form of fighting.
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Lol!! Yup I think it really is a lost battle, if she cant learn to get along with him after all this time I doubt she ever will. At least I dont have the two of them trying to scratch each others eyes out!! We think she secretly loves him and is just playing a long game of hard to get :P
 
#6
Your kitties should get used to each other, it just takes time, they're all different. We had my boy Storm for 10 years the year that Spots (my girl) came along and his royal highness was not happy about it, he was like "Who's this little tinkerbell comin up in muh house?!" He wasn't mean to her like some cats can be, he never hissed or attacked her etc but he refused to go near her and he wouldn't talk for about 2 months. And Storm is BIG talker, he meows constantly about everything so for him that was his way of showing he was upset. But then one night around this time, Spots, who was pregnant, went into labor and Storm started freaking out, he was following her all over meowing nervously and he was being such a nervous wreck that my mom and I had to put him in my room while the babies were being born. Well he was in my room for about 2 minutes before he started to bang on the door and cry and Spots, mid birth, tried to get up out of her box to go help her brother get out of my room lol. It was like kitty cat soap opera. So we let Storm out bc Spots clearly wanted her brother around, and Storm stuck his little head over the box to watch the babies. After that night, they were friends and Storm was even like surrogate daddy to the babies, he'd help clean them etc. They're good friends now, Spots LOVES Storm and Storm is a typical older brother, he still gets annoyed with her and beats her up and she's not allowed to play with his toys, he comes and takes them away if she is lol but he loves her, I'm sure your kitties will come around! The best advice I can give is to try to split attention equally so that your jealous kitty understands she's still important and loved too even though there's a new nugget. It might take time but they do get the picture with that they get this little face on like "Yeah...I'm still good too take that newbie!" lol. Good luck!
 
#8
Lady Stardust said:
Your kitties should get used to each other, it just takes time, they're all different. We had my boy Storm for 10 years the year that Spots (my girl) came along and his royal highness was not happy about it, he was like "Who's this little tinkerbell comin up in muh house?!" He wasn't mean to her like some cats can be, he never hissed or attacked her etc but he refused to go near her and he wouldn't talk for about 2 months. And Storm is BIG talker, he meows constantly about everything so for him that was his way of showing he was upset. But then one night around this time, Spots, who was pregnant, went into labor and Storm started freaking out, he was following her all over meowing nervously and he was being such a nervous wreck that my mom and I had to put him in my room while the babies were being born. Well he was in my room for about 2 minutes before he started to bang on the door and cry and Spots, mid birth, tried to get up out of her box to go help her brother get out of my room lol. It was like kitty cat soap opera. So we let Storm out bc Spots clearly wanted her brother around, and Storm stuck his little head over the box to watch the babies. After that night, they were friends and Storm was even like surrogate daddy to the babies, he'd help clean them etc. They're good friends now, Spots LOVES Storm and Storm is a typical older brother, he still gets annoyed with her and beats her up and she's not allowed to play with his toys, he comes and takes them away if she is lol but he loves her, I'm sure your kitties will come around! The best advice I can give is to try to split attention equally so that your jealous kitty understands she's still important and loved too even though there's a new nugget. It might take time but they do get the picture with that they get this little face on like "Yeah...I'm still good too take that newbie!" lol. Good luck!
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LOL, this is what happened when I'd have to bathe my female. She'd cry with the "emergency call" and the boys would come crying into the bathroom and start nipping me and crying back at her to get mommy to stop bathing her :smile:
 
#9
Lady Stardust said:
Your kitties should get used to each other, it just takes time, they're all different. We had my boy Storm for 10 years the year that Spots (my girl) came along and his royal highness was not happy about it, he was like "Who's this little tinkerbell comin up in muh house?!" He wasn't mean to her like some cats can be, he never hissed or attacked her etc but he refused to go near her and he wouldn't talk for about 2 months. And Storm is BIG talker, he meows constantly about everything so for him that was his way of showing he was upset. But then one night around this time, Spots, who was pregnant, went into labor and Storm started freaking out, he was following her all over meowing nervously and he was being such a nervous wreck that my mom and I had to put him in my room while the babies were being born. Well he was in my room for about 2 minutes before he started to bang on the door and cry and Spots, mid birth, tried to get up out of her box to go help her brother get out of my room lol. It was like kitty cat soap opera. So we let Storm out bc Spots clearly wanted her brother around, and Storm stuck his little head over the box to watch the babies. After that night, they were friends and Storm was even like surrogate daddy to the babies, he'd help clean them etc. They're good friends now, Spots LOVES Storm and Storm is a typical older brother, he still gets annoyed with her and beats her up and she's not allowed to play with his toys, he comes and takes them away if she is lol but he loves her, I'm sure your kitties will come around! The best advice I can give is to try to split attention equally so that your jealous kitty understands she's still important and loved too even though there's a new nugget. It might take time but they do get the picture with that they get this little face on like "Yeah...I'm still good too take that newbie!" lol. Good luck!
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Weve been trying this for seven years!! Tibs has always been the baby of the family so she often gets more attention, plus shes always in the house, Ginger is often outside, especially at night or my parents meal times (he gets a bit OTT!).

The stupid thing is is that sometimes she will be fine with touching noses and sitting on the same sofa/bed, yet other times if he gets too close then she goes for him. Shes just fickle and a massive drama queen. World war 3 happened the other day trying to get her new collar on, the way she was carrying on you would think you were trying to torture her, not put a collar on!! 5 mins of sulking and she came back like all was forgiven!
 
#10
The indoor/outdoor thing could be part of it, my babies are both indoor babies so they're forced to deal w each other all day lol. I love when kitties do nose kisses Spots does that w our guinea pig I call it their "sister kisses" lol :P
 
#11
Lady Stardust said:
The indoor/outdoor thing could be part of it, my babies are both indoor babies so they're forced to deal w each other all day lol. I love when kitties do nose kisses Spots does that w our guinea pig I call it their "sister kisses" lol :P
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Could be. Both cats come and go as they please but Tibs is more of an indoor cat and Ginger is more outdoory. Have to admit there is often no blood shed when one passes the other to come in/out unless Tibs is feeling particularly stroppy or Ginger just looks at her funny, thats when she will strike!!

Shes such a grumpy bratty little cat, the amount of times we have all told her she would get more attention if she would let us pick her up and cuddle her like Ginger. Yet shes the more trustworthy of the 2, you can trust her not to do something in the house (well apart from be sick which she loves to do in my mums room) and behave herself when we are eating.

Its always fun to go back and visit and get them both, they both have their disadvantages and disadvantages. I cant wait until me and my bf get our own little kitties but god knows when that will be!! Id love guinea pigs but my bf doesnt want any and they would cause problems for us when we wanted to move/go on hol etc etc so looks like I have to wait for those cats!!
 
#12
^ Yeah it could be just your kitty's personality too, Storm isn't affectionate at all, he likes getting compliments but really doesn't like being touched and HATES being held. Spots is a big bundle of love lol
 
#13
Lady Stardust said:
^ Yeah it could be just your kitty's personality too, Storm isn't affectionate at all, he likes getting compliments but really doesn't like being touched and HATES being held. Spots is a big bundle of love lol
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Yup Tibs has hated being picked up ever since she was a kitten and the only time you get to pick her up and cuddle her is when shes half asleep. Yet she loves to snuggle at bedtime, she used to sleep with me everynight and actually curl up under the covers for a bit and purr her little head off. And at various points during the night walk back upto your pillow and get back into bed! I miss those days, she fell out with me ever since I left home and now shes always with my mum and stepdad. She gave me the pleasure of her company for one night when I was last there but clearly decided I wasnt worth of more!!!! Sometimes I would prefer her over Ginger to snuggle with because shes less in your face.

Oh apparantly she now has a tendency to bite my mum in the night if she is touched somewhere she isnt happy with (read: just being awkward). Ginger would only ever bite if you hurt him and he never goes on full attack mode like Tibs, hel bite you hard but then let go like hes saying "ok that hurt dont do that again" whereas Tibs is saying "I want to kill you for trying to move me"
 
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