Help need advice....BFF Troubles

keodi

keodi

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O.G.
Aug 14, 2006
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4,179
#1
Okay here goes.....My best friend is a guy, we've been friends for over 4 years now, we're so much alike in personality, we share the same views on a lot of different things , and we were there for each other through good, bad, happy,sad times and we talked to each other about anything and everything until a couple of months ago. We were intimate once during that time frame we talked about it I couldn't really explain why I made the choice I made, but I was shocked by his confession for his feelings for me. Anyhoo, we decided that kind of relationship wouldn't be good right now because 1. we live in 2 different states, and 2. we both feared that maybe it would ruin our friendship. Since that night however I noticed a change he seems distant, he isn't intrested in hearing me talk about my daily life what's going, my new move, etc even though I've continued to be there for him. It's gotten to the point now that he hardly rings me up and If we do talk I'll be the one ringing him up what should I do? I attempted to talk to him about the situation, and he'll say, " i've got issues in my life right now." or things to that effect. I'm feeling like the idiot girl wo sleeps with guy and loses intrest I'm hurt by his responses and I not sure what to do please help me... :sad:
 
#2
if you've been that good of friends for that long, i doubt that he's lost interest because y'all got together. it's more likely that he was hurt by the fact that it didn't lead to more than just friends. i don't know the time frame between y'alls talk and him becoming distant, but it sounds like it could be too hard for him. maybe he can't separate his "friend" feelings (caring about your day/calling you) from his boyfriend/girlfriend feelings. hopefully he's just confused for now and will snap out of it :smile:

if he says he's got things going on, let him know you're there for him and keep in contact. i'd keep calling him at least every few weeks and either things will work out or he'll crack and tell you what's up. best of luck!!!
 
#3
katielou07 said:
if you've been that good of friends for that long, i doubt that he's lost interest because y'all got together. it's more likely that he was hurt by the fact that it didn't lead to more than just friends. i don't know the time frame between y'alls talk and him becoming distant, but it sounds like it could be too hard for him. maybe he can't separate his "friend" feelings (caring about your day/calling you) from his boyfriend/girlfriend feelings. hopefully he's just confused for now and will snap out of it :smile:

if he says he's got things going on, let him know you're there for him and keep in contact. i'd keep calling him at least every few weeks and either things will work out or he'll crack and tell you what's up. best of luck!!!
Click to expand...
thanks for your support it's been really bothering me....
it's a 2 month time frame.
 
#4
Same thing happened to me - friend wanted more which I wasn't willing to give, and he turned distant. I kept calling and bothering him..since he was my friend, and we were not involved, I could do that. Turns out he was having another relationship (which he was not willing to talk about at that time) He broke up with her, sobbed on my shoulder, and now we are back to normal. Took about 3-4 months.
 
#5
Hang in there....I'm sure he is just trying to move through his feelings as well. He will come around, he needs you as a friend. Just continue to be supportive and loving as a friend.
 
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