Catching the engagement bug...

Cristina

Cristina

O.G.
Oct 23, 2005
12,994
43
#1
My awesome bf and I will celebrate our 5-year anniversary in February. We're both only 24 years old, but lately I've been feeling the engagement/marriage bug. Is this normal? :shame: We're young, I know. I don't want to be like most of my friends, who married young and aren't very happy. But really, what does age have to do with it?

He and I have talked about rings. He asked me what I wanted, what kind of setting, what size, all that good stuff. Should I take that as a good sign? :shame: For those of you who are engaged and/or married, how did you two broach the subject? How did your SO feel about it? I don't want to put any pressure on him whatsoever! I am beyond happy with him and our relationship, but sometimes the thought does creep up on me.

Thoughts? Opinions? :nuts:
 
#2
Hi Cristina,

Sadly, age does have something to do with it. I had a few marriage type relationships when I was younger that I thought would last forever. They didn't.

HAVING SAID THAT.. I can't speak for everyone on this planet so you may have a good thing going there!!!!!. :wlae: I would just say wait on having kiddos until around 30-32 or so? Establish a good marriage and don't rush into things. :biggrin: Trust me I know a bunch changes from the '20s to the '30s.

Good luck with everything!!!!!
 
#3
Cristina, my fiance and I got engaged about six months ago. We are both in our late 20's. We knew almost immediately that we would get married. And we were very open about getting married. We had lots of discussions about what we wanted from marriage. He and I have been together for over two years now.

I think that you will know when the right time is for you to get married. I don't think that there is a right age to get married. It is good sign that he is asking you those questions now about the ring. It sounds like you are very happy and the relationship is going really well. Good luck and keep us posted!
 
#4
Thanks, christine :smile: Actually, I'm not even sure if I want to have kids! I'm quite happy with cats, possibly a dog :P If we do, I want it to be at least 5 years after we get married. Thanks for the advice ;)

Grace - Thanks! We love each other very much, and get along great. We have very different personalities, but similar interests. Strange how that works :P I don't know if now is the right time for us to get married, but maybe it's the right time for us to be thinking about it and talk more openly about it, like you and your fiance did. Congrats on the engagement, that's wonderful for you! :smile:
 
#6
Oh I'm totally in the same boat. We started talking engagement a while ago and while it was a good time to start talking about it, neither of us was totally ready. I was not sure where I was going with a career and he just didn't have the money. Fast forward to now, we just celebrated our 5 year anniversary earlier this month, we've shopped around a little bit, but we're supposed to do some more soon. We're both 24 too, and I don't feel like that is too young. Actually, one of my friends is dating someone who refuses to talk marriage until he's 30 (he's 29 now) and that's just ridiculous to me. If you're ready, you're ready, regardless of what age you are. It is based on other things than your years.

I'm 99% sure that I'll have to wait it out until next fall. One day he asked me what my dream proposal was and I told him one that it would be at one of my favorite little spots in Rome... and it has come up a few times since then.... and next October or November that's where we're going as our anniversary trip!

One of the most helpful things for him & I was to have a discussion about a timeline. I don't even remember how it came up, but I finally asked and when do you see that happening... and for us there were a few really important things taken care of. We each had a couple financialy things that needed to be taken care of individually before we felt like that decision could be made.
 
#7
My fiancee and I have been together for 4 years on November 29th:smile:

We talked about marriage pretty quickly, but we were together for about 2 1/2 years or so before we got engaged.

I actually helped him pick out my engagement ring...however, the proposal was about 6 months or so after he purchased the ring.

It was a total suprise--he took me out onto the beach while we were at Hotel Del Coronado in San Diego...it was so romantic!!

We also decided early on that we had no desire to have children...we have two dogs that fit into that role!! :smile:

My advice to you is to let him know that you definitely could see the two of you getting married and leave it at that. If he feels the same way (which I am sure he does--you sound like a great catch!!) he will put the ball into motion.

Good luck:smile:
 
#8
Actually my husband asked to marry me after we met by 3 days (yeah I was shocked too lol)..he was 19 and I was 16. been happily married for 8 1/2 years now with a wonderful 5 year old daughter. :smile:
so marrying young doesn't always mean it's going to be a doomed marriage so don't feel nervous ;)

But yeah I'd think him asking you those questions means he's got something planned in his head :biggrin:

Best of luck to you ^^
 
#9
aww! i feel a lot of posters in this thread too! i've been with my bf for 7 years and we've been living together for a little over a year. we've talked about marriage, but its not a priority. i want to finish school and get a career. being financially independant is important to the both of us.
 
#10
cat_inluv said:
Actually my husband asked to marry me after we met by 3 days (yeah I was shocked too lol)
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Wow. That's awesome that things worked out for you!
I thought my ex was crazy when he started talking about getting married a month into things. Of course, he did end up being bipolar...so I was sort of right :/
 
#12
My BF and I have also been in a relationship for about 5 years. We discussed marriage but until we can decide on our future...meaning I want to be in one state and him in another, nothing can really happen.

Based on what you said it does sound like he might have something planned or is at least thinking about it. How exciting! And if/when you do get engaged, have a long engagement...enjoy it. Marriage is such a sacred and monumentous event, you want it to be right and not rushed.
 
#13
Couturegrl said:
My fiancee and I have been together for 4 years on November 29th:smile:

We talked about marriage pretty quickly, but we were together for about 2 1/2 years or so before we got engaged.

I actually helped him pick out my engagement ring...however, the proposal was about 6 months or so after he purchased the ring.

It was a total suprise--he took me out onto the beach while we were at Hotel Del Coronado in San Diego...it was so romantic!!

We also decided early on that we had no desire to have children...we have two dogs that fit into that role!! :smile:

My advice to you is to let him know that you definitely could see the two of you getting married and leave it at that. If he feels the same way (which I am sure he does--you sound like a great catch!!) he will put the ball into motion.

Good luck:smile:
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I've been to Hotel Del Coronado! It's gorgeous, what a great place for a special moment :nuts:

That's great advice... to just mention it, and leave it at that. That is sorta what I've done. I'd like to pretty much leave everything up to him. I've given him ring ideas, now as far as the proposal goes, when, where, etc., I'd like that to be completely his idea. I'm traditional, I guess ;) But since we're pretty much on the same page, I know that when (and if) it comes, it will be wonderful :heart: The last thing I want to do is pressure him into any sort of further commitment without the both of us being ready to do so.

Congrats on your engagement :nuts:



And yes, to those who suggested a long engagement - definitely! I'd like to take probably a year to enjoy it, and plan everything out. We're not having a traditional wedding. We've both agreed that we're taking off to Costa Rica or another tropical destination for a week or so and doing the deed ;)
 
#14
Cristina said:
My awesome bf and I will celebrate our 5-year anniversary in February. We're both only 24 years old, but lately I've been feeling the engagement/marriage bug. Is this normal? :shame: We're young, I know. I don't want to be like most of my friends, who married young and aren't very happy. But really, what does age have to do with it?

He and I have talked about rings. He asked me what I wanted, what kind of setting, what size, all that good stuff. Should I take that as a good sign? :shame: For those of you who are engaged and/or married, how did you two broach the subject? How did your SO feel about it? I don't want to put any pressure on him whatsoever! I am beyond happy with him and our relationship, but sometimes the thought does creep up on me.

Thoughts? Opinions? :nuts:
Click to expand...

It's normal! :lol: It's a very good sign if he asked you what you wanted...if he's asking about settings and size, he's been thinking about it!!!:yahoo: Since you're so young, don't bring it up...just be receptive to the idea of marriage (but not overly receptive) when it comes up. ;)
 
#15
Cristina, it sounds like you have a good and lasting relationship going! Being on the same level and not rushing things usually is a good way to stay together - and a long engagement is a great way to "test" marriage before taking the big step.

My hubby & I have been together for 19 years now, and we'we only been married for five years. We met at the age of 22 & 24, so we were pretty young - and it still lasts. We never felt any pressure to get married, neither to have kids (and we now have two, aged 7+9). We allowed things to come at a natural pace, marriage was never a priority - but after having kids, it seemed like a natural thing and we had a great wedding. At 22, I would have panicked, should anyone have told me that I would be a married mother-of-two in a few years. But things change with age - and it can be a good thing if you dont rush!

Best of luck to both of you!
 
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