Maid Of Honor Etiquette

PrettyInPink

PrettyInPink

<3
Jun 24, 2006
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#1
Question for you ladies (& men who would know)... I was just asked to be my friend's MOH... she's getting married May 2010. Am I responsible for footing the bill for the bridal shower? I assume the bachelorette party... but, I have NO clue about the shower.

Also, anything else I should know about being a MOH? This is one of the first weddings I've ever been in.

Any help is GREATLY appreciated!
 
#2
I don't think you should necessarily have to pay for the bridal shower.. Bridal showers can be thrown by mothers, aunts, grandmothers, friends, whomever. But if you WANT to be in charge of organizing, perhaps ask who all wants to help chip in and so and so can do part of the food, and so and so can do part of the decor, etc.

In my opinion the only REAL rule is that you stand by your bride and provide her emotional support and whatever reasonable in person support you can. I think that's the important part. :smile:
 
#3
When I was the maid of honor I had to pay for the bridal shower and it cost me an arm and a leg. I wouldn't mind being in a wedding if it weren't for all the financial obligations that go with it.
 
#4
WOW how times have changed. When did it become the responsibility of the MOH to pay for anything besides a gift and her outfit? Sorry - I'm old.
 
#5
How many other girls are in the bridal party--- the MOH in my opinion never foots the entire bill for anything. My mom threw my bridal shower so my bridesmaids didnt pay anything. They all chipped in evenly for the bachelorette.
 
#6
Bag*Snob said:
WOW how times have changed. When did it become the responsibility of the MOH to pay for anything besides a gift and her outfit? Sorry - I'm old.
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I agree. I only did the above...times have REALLY changed if you have to pay for/throw batchelorette parties, showers, etc. I frankly feel that is a huge burden and seems more like an obligation rather than an honor...
 
#7
I was recently asked to be my best friend's MOH and I also was clueless. Then when I started googling the duties involved I got a bit scared. I'm standing my ground though and only contributing for the bachlorette party. I'm not going to be buying gifts for the engagement party, bridal shower, and the wedding, plus the Bachlorette party. I'll probably just buy her something small for the engagement party and then something nice for the wedding.
 
#8
Yes... googling MOH duties is what got me a little freaked out! I LOVE my friend... she's been my best friend since first grade... and she's one of the most important people in my life, but I'm a broke college student. :lol:

I just sent her the Philosophy Bride set as an engagement present. I don't think they're even having an engagement party.
 
#9
You shouldn't have to pay for a shower. Just talk to her family and other bridesmaids about organizing something together. When I did it, I just helped organize, decorate, set up, and paid for the party favors. Her family paid for everything else.
 
#10
PrettyInPink said:
Yes... googling MOH duties is what got me a little freaked out! I LOVE my friend... she's been my best friend since first grade... and she's one of the most important people in my life, but I'm a broke college student. :lol:

I just sent her the Philosophy Bride set as an engagement present. I don't think they're even having an engagement party.
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I'm a broke college students as well! lol.

My BFF has turned into a bridezilla. I'm her only friend yet her "small and intimate" engagement party has over 100 people! :nuts: The wedding (which is 2 years away) is a lil over 300!! I keep telling her "You don't even know 30 people!!"
 
#11
I know there is a lot of traditional etiquette, but maybe the easiest thing is just to ask her and talk to her about her expectations? It sounds like you two are great friends, and now would be the time to figure out if you can or can't see eye to eye.
 
#12
if you're a broke college student, she probably knows that! i would suggest asking her what she envisions for a bridal shower. take notes, and meet with her bridesmaids and email her mom, aunts, whomever, and throw out the ideas and see where it goes. just because youre the maid of honor doesn't mean you need to follow every single rule- especially when those rules aren't written with 'broke college student' in mind! haha. no worries. the most important thing is that you make these things special for her- add in some personal touches that don't cost a thing (like play a thoughtful, fun game, or decorate with pictures of her as a baby, etc). good luck!
 
#13
I don't think you should have to pay for the shower. I would get together with the brides mother and talk to her, hopefully everyone on her side will pitch in!

As for the party, I don't think you should foot the bill for that either! I think you should organize it, but not necessarily pay for it!
 
#14
You don't have to pay for the bridal shower. I was my best friends MOH last year and her mother and mother in law hosted a large shower for their friends and cousins, and i hosted one for our girlfriends and all the brides maids who were unable to attend the other one at my home. I asked the brides maids to help me out with a potluck and it was fine.

As long as you can help with games and other things involved in a shower, I think you are fine.

My sisters shower on the other hand, I had to throw on my own. I wasn't the maid of honour, however, if I didn't pay/host for it, she would not have had one.
 
#15
Usually the MOH, bridesmaids, and the bride's mom chip in altogether for the bridal shower.

I'm don't want a bridal shower nor am I doing a registry since we already had a housewarming. It'll just be wrong to register again for crap. I'd rather we get money at the wedding then have people spend for a shower and times are tough anyway.
 
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