Quarter Life Crisis?

koukanamiya

koukanamiya

It is what it is
May 25, 2006
7,280
30
#1
We've all heard of mid-life crisis, but apparently there is also such a thing as Quarter Life Crisis. In fact, many people I know (myself included) have gone through or are experiencing it. Who here has experienced Quarter Life Crisis? How long did it take you to get over it? How did you do it?
 
#2
I'm just beginning my Quarter life Crisis. I feel like I've been in it since I was 23...Times just ticking away now. It feels like I'm going to blink and be registering for AARP...I'm only 24 by the way.

I just feel like there is so much that I should have accomplished right now and I haven't. I look at other people my age that are my friends and I just wish that I had it as good as them.
 
#3
I totally know what you mean! I'm in the same boat too. I've been having my Quarter Life Crisis for several years already. I'm frustrated with where I am in life right now. I don't feel that I'm successful enough, I don't feel that I've made enough money, I feel so far from my goal ... Everytime I get alumni magazines from my school I always feel like a failure. All of my classmates are out getting Ph.Ds or becoming Senior VP of their company and I'm still stuck at a place that I don't want to be. When my Dad was my age, he had already become the head person of the Asian-Pacific Rim of the company he was working for, owned his own house, and married with children. I'm nowhere near where he was ...

I've been trying to get myself out of this Quarter Life Crisis but it's so difficult. I know what I want to do, but it's just a matter of trying to get into the field I want to get into ...
 
#4
Well, I'm not there yet I feel like I can relate, but I feel society is forcing us to feel this way. It seems everything is about doing it younger and younger. It's not about taking home the gold medal, but it's more important to be younger than the previous holder. Often, though, I feel certain aspects are over looked. Like, for example, a young athlete. If you're say 15 and have been playing a sport for like 10 years. It wasn't your choice when you started. Parents and other factors shaped it that way. So, if everyone had those factors and/or enviorments we'd all be gold medal holders and/or rich at the age of 15. I just think there used to be such a thing as being young and getting established. Now, it seems you're only sucessful if you've skipped this and started making money at puberty or younger. I hope this little rant makes sense.
 
#5
Astrologically speaking, your mid to late twenties is the time of your saturn return, which can be a challenging time in most people's lives.
 
#6
I do believe there is such a thing as a quarter life crisis. Like some of you, I feel as though I haven't accomplished everything I should've or wanted to by now. I'm often frustrated with myself for not achieving everything I hoped to by now and feel as though I'm a complete failure. Surely these emotions are common for most people our age, right?
 
#7
Not to discount any of those feelings, because I understand how frustrating it can be to not have accomplished all that you had hoped....my husband is going through some of this right now...I always tell him to take a look around at all of the people in the world that are either worse off by circumstances, choice, or birth, and just try to enjoy what he has right at this minute in our lives! We never know when circumstances will change for the better or for the worse, and next year business could be booming, and he could be way more busy, travelling more, etc....and then instead of enjoying this more quiet time...it was wasted away with worries of what could be or what needs to be!! So strive for what you want, just don't not enjoy this time you are in right now....
 
#8
Currently experiencing this "quarter life crisis". It started last year right before I graduated college at 23. I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. Like you, kou, I don't feel that I'm making enough money, don't feel that I'm successful enough - but at the same time, I have no real career goals whatsoever. I just work because I have to pay bills. I just want to go back to school and fart around :lol: Also, in the professional world, I feel very "small" and intimidated when I go to meetings, events and deal with the public, probably because I am so young. I worry about saving for retirement, yet I can barely pay my rent and other astronomical monthly bills. Spent four years in college to earn a degree, all to be independent from my family, and I still depend on them to help me out monetarily in financial emergencies (which have been happening often).

However - through all this, I think you still have to manage to enjoy your 20s. There is not much to tie you down, besides work. If you're not married or if you don't have children, this is the time to do what you want before you settle down. It's a time of change, of finding out who you are and what you want to be. There are so many people who are expericing something similar. Look at the replies you've received with other PFers identifying with you. You're not alone ;)
 
#9
elongreach said:
I'm just beginning my Quarter life Crisis. I feel like I've been in it since I was 23...Times just ticking away now. It feels like I'm going to blink and be registering for AARP...I'm only 24 by the way.

I just feel like there is so much that I should have accomplished right now and I haven't. I look at other people my age that are my friends and I just wish that I had it as good as them.
Click to expand...
I feel the same way. Now I'm settling for stuff that I would not have thought I'd settle for years ago.
 
#10
Pippi said:
Astrologically speaking, your mid to late twenties is the time of your saturn return, which can be a challenging time in most people's lives.
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ITA...I think it happens just in time for your 10 year high school reunion....people start thinking about where they thought they would be by now and evaluating what they have achieved.
 
#11
My Quarter Life Crisis started back in 2004 and I'm still experiencing it today. The thing is I have always known what I wanted to do. I want to be a consultant (by that I don't mean loan consultant or sales consultant either) and work in that industry ... Every job I'm at is a stepping stone to get there and I'm just not getting there as rapidly as I would like ... In the meantime, my peers are getting law degrees or Ph.Ds. Some of them had several houses in different parts of the world already while others have made partners or SVP (and some even COO) at their companies. Even my parents' friends' kids are doing better than I am and they didn't even go to as good a school as I did. It's like everyone is advancing but me and it's frustrating because after all these years I feel like I have gotten nowhere ...

I have a friend (one year younger than me) who recently went through Quarter Life Crisis. He quit AIT after working there for 4 years (it's his first job). He loved it there and everybody there loved him. It's just that one day he realized he wasn't sure what he wanted to do with his life, so he quit his job, sold his house (which he had already paid off) and decided to move to New York and go to a culinary school there while he figured out what he wanted to do with his life. It's sad to think that I don't even have that much accomplishment in comparison to him.

I probably am doing better than a lot of people out there. But when in comparison to my peers, I'm not. I am sure that if I am in consulting today I wouldn't be feeling any of this because that's where I want to be ... My birthday is coming up soon so that means I'm going to be a year older in a little over 2 weeks, that realization also depresses me since I feel like I hadn't gotten anywhere in the past year ...

This year is my high school reunion but I think I missed the date. I did really well in high school but I hated that time of my life. It was a school that was full of arrogant people. I didn't have any issues with the students (I stay away from the arrogant ones) but I cannot stand my counselor. She is the biggest fake I've ever seen and because I didn't kiss up to her and gave her expensive holiday presents like other students did, she lied on my college application when she gave me the evaluation. If it weren't for her, I know I could've made it into the Ivy's (I was very involved in high school, top of my class, passed at least 12 advanced placement exams, and got a perfect score on the math SAT). I love Northwestern, but I still would've preferred to go to Harvard if I could ... So yeah, I refuse to go to any high school reunion without at least making the 6-figure income and a "Dr." to go with my title first.
 
#12
koukanamiya said:
My Quarter Life Crisis started back in 2004 and I'm still experiencing it today. The thing is I have always known what I wanted to do. I want to be a consultant (by that I don't mean loan consultant or sales consultant either) and work in that industry ... Every job I'm at is a stepping stone to get there and I'm just not getting there as rapidly as I would like ... So yeah, I refuse to go to any high school reunion without at least making the 6-figure income and a "Dr." to go with my title first.
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Does making six-figures and getting a Ph.D qualify you as a worthwhile person? Because there are plenty of people who think six figures is a pittance... and I know plenty of Ph.Ds who are dullards in every sense of the word.

If you want to go into consulting (I imagine you're talking about McKinsey, BCG, those kinds of companies), why not go out for recruitment days? I think you can still go back to Northwestern for recruitment days as an alum (I know people who have for University of Chicago).
 
#13
I can't go back there to Chicago as often as I'd like. I'm essentially not allowed to take days off during the last week of the month (when I settle deals) and since I only have about 10 days to use every year - going overseas which generally kills about 2 days just on traveling and layover, it's not much of an option for me considering I've used up quite a few already. I am saving the rest of my vacation days for potential interviews. I know some ppl have suggested that I use sick days to do it but I don't feel right doing that. Also, last I checked, my school's recruitment days are for undergrads or grad student only. The ones who have graduated need to go through the alumni career network, which unfortunately hasn't been working very well for me.

What I found about consulting is if you didn't get in right out of school, then you need to know someone to get your foot in the door since sending resumes in via the company website generally cause the resume to disappear through the blackhole. Of course, it doesn't deter me from trying. As for PhDs and 6-figure income, to me those are important accomplishments. I'm competitive and I benchmark myself against everyone and anyone who is better than I do. I know that realistically speaking there'll always be someone who is more successful than I am, but it won't hurt if I try to be one step closer to there.

On a slightly different note ... I MISSED CHICAGO!!! I don't missed the chilling cold but I miss everything else about it. Some of my best years were spent in Chicago.
 
#14
IntlSet said:
Does making six-figures and getting a Ph.D qualify you as a worthwhile person? Because there are plenty of people who think six figures is a pittance... and I know plenty of Ph.Ds who are dullards in every sense of the word.
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Kou, this is a good question for you....Intlset is right....when will you think you are aworthwhile person? Six figures, a PhD isn't going to do that....you already are great, just being you!

I know it is hard for you right now to see that, and I can see you are a type A, like me (very similar high school records, looks like...but I loved high school)....but as someone who has been through a lot of ups and downs and turns in life, I think the best advice I could give you is...remember happiness is true success. Money, prestige, etc are great....but don't always equal happiness.

I just went to my 20 year reunion, and wasn't even worried I was not even close to being 'where everyone thought I would be' I always thought I would make tons of money, and go back for my PhD, too...Instead I met my DH....and took a different path. DH is not at all like anyone, I thought I would be with either....

Why didn't I care? Because I know I am very blessed, with a happy, healthy family, well behaved kids, and good friends....I am proud of myself for the things I have done and do (lots of volunteer and charity work, good friend and caring person) everything else was secondary.

Hope this helps...remember what you do, and what you earn, are not who you are.
 
#15
Twinkle.Tink, I know what you mean but prestige and all the glitz aside, I would really like to get into the field that I know is ideal for me. Consulting is it - I like it NOT because of prestige, glitz or money. I like it because of what it entails. I like to solve problems, I need to know everything, I have to learn constantly, and I love traveling (even if it's last minute, red-eye flight across the Pacific and living out of hotels for years). I've known that ever since I graduated and it has taken me this long to get there. I still haven't gotten there yet but I think after 5 years of being in the work force, I'm finally qualified.

So what I'm trying to say is that if I can't achieve all that I want to achieve, I would like to at least work at an industry that I want to be in ... I mean, my current job is the best one I've had so far and I have learned a lot here. I had an awesome boss and all that but it's not consulting. I try to find things to do and take on more responsibilities but I think I've ran out of things to take on. There had been lots of changes lately and there's no room for me to grow and no opportunities. I also don't want to be just limited to this field. With consulting you are exposed to many different field so I get to learn everything - and that's ideal.

I know I will be much happier if I at least have my ideal job ... I know it since I graduated and 5 years later and after all the research, it still hasn't changed. Thankfully, I think I am making some headways on getting into Consulting though. It will definitely be the best birthday present ever (yup, it even beats the diamond porosus Birkin).
 
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