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la miss · Jun 13th, 2009, 12:37 PM

http://www.telegram.com/article/2009...MN01/906070394
Sunday, June 7, 2009

Lover-teacher, teen must face public scrutiny

Dianne Williamson
dwilliamson@telegram.com

When Elaine Ivanowski wrote a love letter to John Monfredo Jr., he initially did the right thing.

The teacher turned the letter over to the school administration, because Ms. Ivanowski was a junior in his creative writing class at Quabbin Regional High School in Barre.

His resolve didn’t last, however. Last summer the pair started texting and were soon engaged in a sexual affair that took place at hotels and in the home of his father, a Worcester School Committee member who was unaware that his son’s girlfriend was also a student, Ms. Ivanowski said.

The relationship would end Mr. Monfredo’s eight-year career at Quabbin. It also raises disturbing questions about how the school handled the affair and whether it covered up the misconduct of one of its teachers.

In a confidential settlement, the district agreed that any future employers of Mr. Monfredo would be told only that he worked as a teacher and that he resigned at the end of the school year for “personal reasons.” The agreement was signed June 1 by Mr. Monfredo and Cheryl Duval, acting superintendent.

Both Ms. Duval and Quabbin Principal Marilyn J. Tencza declined to answer any questions about the matter. But last week, in the office of her lawyer, Ms. Ivanowski told a troubling tale of a school that knew of the affair and failed to take any action. An exotic dancer at Centerfolds, she also claimed that a teacher she confided in asked her out on a date, and that another teacher came to Centerfolds for a lap dance.

“I’ve been keeping my mouth shut for so long because I didn’t want to get anyone in trouble,” said the Hubbardston teen, who lives with her mother. “”But they (school administrators) knew I was having a relationship and they didn’t do anything about it.”

Mr. Monfredo, meanwhile, said he’s in love with his former student but has “no idea” whether school administrators were aware of the relationship.

“Were there rumors? Yes,” said the 36-year-old former educator said. “Whether or not they knew, I don’t know. But certainly there were people within the school who knew.”

As a result of trying to keep the affair secret and the attentions of other male teachers, Ms. Ivanowski claims she suffers severe anxiety and panic attacks and was unable to complete her course work. While she will likely receive her diploma, she was not allowed to take part in yesterday’s graduation ceremony. She said she blames the school for failing to give her the support she needed to graduate with her classmates.

Now 19, Ms. Ivanowski was 18 and of legal age when the affair began. She said she started having feelings for her teacher when she was student clerk for him her junior year, and the pair would have lunch together and talk. In the spring of 2008 she wrote him an e-mail and said she was in love with him. In response, Mr. Monfredo turned the letter over to the administration, and arrangements were made for her to complete the course outside of the class.

Last summer, however, the pair began the affair after meeting at the Salem Cross Inn.

“He said it was wrong and that he shouldn’t be doing it,” she recalled. “Then later he told me he was in love with me.”

She said Mr. Monfredo was going through a divorce and that she met his 5-year-old daughter. She said she also e-mailed his wife, who said she was aware of the relationship.

Mr. Monfredo was also aware that he was under scrutiny at the school, according to an e-mail he sent her Feb. 25.

“Baby, I am there for you as much as I can be without compromising my job … Tenzca and Hippert are watching my every move these days,” he wrote, referring to the principal and to Tracey Hippert, dean of students. He also suggested, “Sunday brunch with my parents and then we will go bowling or something with them.”

Mr. Monfredo’s father, John Monfredo Sr., is a member of the Worcester School Committee. Ms. Ivanowski said she and her teacher frequently spent the night at his parents’ house in Worcester, but they believed she was a college student.

Both she and Mr. Monfredo said rumors were rampant at the school that she was sleeping with a teacher. She said she was questioned by administrators — as recently as last month, after Mr. Monfredo bought her a diamond ring — and denied the affair because she didn’t want Mr. Monfredo to get in trouble.

“I had to lie for John,” she said. “I told them that I was in love with him, but he’d have nothing to do with me.”

She said she decided to come forward because the school failed to make allowances for her anxiety disorder and “looked at me like a sleazeball stripper.” She said she was uncomfortable at the school because one teacher showed up at Centerfolds and she gave him a lap dance. Another teacher, to whom she confided that she was in love with Mr. Monfredo, later sent her an e-mail expressing a desire to see her outside of school, she said.

Her lawyer, Richard Rafferty, said that although Ms. Ivanowski was a willing participant in the relationship, Mr. Monfredo took advantage of his position as a teacher and authority figure. He said he plans to sue the school for creating a hostile environment for his client.

“The principal knew about this and let it evolve,” Mr. Rafferty said. “It’s hard to believe she didn’t see the warning signs and investigate it further.”

Mr. Monfredo said he’s planning a future with his former student, whom he described as a “very sweet and caring girl.” He said he understands his teaching career is over and wants to find work in the business sector.

“This is not something I’ve ever done,” he said. “I know it was wrong. But you can’t necessarily choose who you fall in love with. For both of us, it was the generosity of spirit that we saw in one another.”

For her part, Ms. Ivanowski spent five years at Quabbin and plans to receive her diploma this summer while continuing to dance at Centerfolds. She said “things have been tough” between her and her former teacher, but hopes they’ll be able to stand by each other.

“I didn’t want to tell on anybody,” she said. “I know this is going to make them look bad. It will make me look bad. But I wasn’t treated fairly, and this needs to be heard.”

Contact Dianne Williamson via e-mail at dwilliamson@telegram.com.

BagAngel · Jun 13th, 2009, 02:23 PM

While this is wrong & the teacher should have known better, she was of legal age, 18 & knew exactly what she was doing. Why is she crying now? She is an exotic dancer for goodness sake she is not some innocent that was lead astray!

Onederland · Jun 13th, 2009, 02:32 PM

Originally Posted by BagAngel

While this is wrong & the teacher should have known better, she was of legal age, 18 & knew exactly what she was doing. Why is she crying now? She is an exotic dancer for goodness sake she is not some innocent that was lead astray!

exactly.

claireZk · Jun 13th, 2009, 04:22 PM

Originally Posted by BagAngel

While this is wrong & the teacher should have known better, she was of legal age, 18 & knew exactly what she was doing. Why is she crying now? She is an exotic dancer for goodness sake she is not some innocent that was lead astray!

Yeah, ITA. As a man in his 30's he should have been more responsible. But, she was 18 and doesn't sound like a very wholesome innocent kid, so I find it hard to really feel bad for her. They both sound like sleazy idiots TBH.

pollinilove · Jun 13th, 2009, 04:39 PM

these girls look like adults my friend who i have known since i was 10 had a baby sister who is now 18 she looks like a play boy bunny

BiloxiBlu · Jun 13th, 2009, 04:44 PM

I agree, this one is bad on BOTH ends...

blackpearl · Jun 13th, 2009, 04:54 PM

You know what my first thought was? She failed to graduate and is now going after school to get her diploma. And to get them to settle.

BagAngel · Jun 13th, 2009, 05:05 PM

Originally Posted by blackpearl

You know what my first thought was? She failed to graduate and is now going after school to get her diploma. And to get them to settle.

I agree!

sweetdreamer16 · Jun 14th, 2009, 03:05 AM

ugggh!! so wrong on so many levels!!!

dreamdoll · Jun 14th, 2009, 06:29 AM

Originally Posted by blackpearl

you know what my first thought was? She failed to graduate and is now going after school to get her diploma. And to get them to settle.

ita

bellafleur · Jun 15th, 2009, 04:35 PM

My first thought was, how long has this girl been an exotic dancer?? She was only 18 when the affair began, so did she just start dancing?? And she lives with her mother, and her mother thought it was ok for her daughter be a junior in high school and dance naked on teachers' laps at a strip club??? What the ****???

Clearly dating a teacher is the least of her problems.

Baby Boo · Jun 16th, 2009, 08:41 AM

Originally Posted by BagAngel

I agree!

i agree too

Jahpson · Jun 16th, 2009, 09:17 AM

why would he turn in the letter and then proceed to have a relationship with her? Its his fault, he had the option to leave her alone and he ignored it.....

he is a grown adult who choose to make a decision to jeoprodize his own career. Im sure there are plenty of confused kids who "fall" for their teachers, its just the teachers have enough sense not to confuse "a teenage crush" into something serious.

I fail to see what being an exotic dancer has to do with this.

Quote:

She said she was uncomfortable at the school because one teacher showed up at Centerfolds and she gave him a lap dance. Another teacher, to whom she confided that she was in love with Mr. Monfredo, later sent her an e-mail expressing a desire to see her outside of school, she said.

sounds like she was being taken advantage of. Is there any wonder why the school turned its back?

bellafleur · Jun 16th, 2009, 11:49 AM

Originally Posted by Jahpson

I fail to see what being an exotic dancer has to do with this.

Well, this girl obviously looks, and probably acts, more mature than other high school juniors if she was able to get hired and remain working as an exotic dancer. Not to say that the teacher should be given a pass based on her perceived level of maturity, but she was 18 and was already making her own, very adult decisions (albeit under her mother's roof). I just think it's interesting that she is now blaming the school for not intervening in the relationship. It just seems a little hypocritical, that this girl can decide on her own that it's a good idea to be a stripper, but when she makes her own decision to start a relationship with a teacher, that becomes the teacher's fault, or the school's fault. I just think her priorities are really messed up.

CCfor C · Jun 16th, 2009, 12:28 PM

Originally Posted by bellafleur

My first thought was, how long has this girl been an exotic dancer?? She was only 18 when the affair began, so did she just start dancing?? And she lives with her mother, and her mother thought it was ok for her daughter be a junior in high school and dance naked on teachers' laps at a strip club??? What the ****???

Clearly dating a teacher is the least of her problems.

Yes...this...^^

Jun 13th, 2009, 12:37 PM	#1
la miss OP parigote Joined: May 2007 Posts: 3,278	Student teacher rel. so wrong on so many levels http://www.telegram.com/article/2009...MN01/906070394 Sunday, June 7, 2009 Lover-teacher, teen must face public scrutiny Dianne Williamson dwilliamson@telegram.com When Elaine Ivanowski wrote a love letter to John Monfredo Jr., he initially did the right thing. The teacher turned the letter over to the school administration, because Ms. Ivanowski was a junior in his creative writing class at Quabbin Regional High School in Barre. His resolve didn’t last, however. Last summer the pair started texting and were soon engaged in a sexual affair that took place at hotels and in the home of his father, a Worcester School Committee member who was unaware that his son’s girlfriend was also a student, Ms. Ivanowski said. The relationship would end Mr. Monfredo’s eight-year career at Quabbin. It also raises disturbing questions about how the school handled the affair and whether it covered up the misconduct of one of its teachers. In a confidential settlement, the district agreed that any future employers of Mr. Monfredo would be told only that he worked as a teacher and that he resigned at the end of the school year for “personal reasons.” The agreement was signed June 1 by Mr. Monfredo and Cheryl Duval, acting superintendent. Both Ms. Duval and Quabbin Principal Marilyn J. Tencza declined to answer any questions about the matter. But last week, in the office of her lawyer, Ms. Ivanowski told a troubling tale of a school that knew of the affair and failed to take any action. An exotic dancer at Centerfolds, she also claimed that a teacher she confided in asked her out on a date, and that another teacher came to Centerfolds for a lap dance. “I’ve been keeping my mouth shut for so long because I didn’t want to get anyone in trouble,” said the Hubbardston teen, who lives with her mother. “”But they (school administrators) knew I was having a relationship and they didn’t do anything about it.” Mr. Monfredo, meanwhile, said he’s in love with his former student but has “no idea” whether school administrators were aware of the relationship. “Were there rumors? Yes,” said the 36-year-old former educator said. “Whether or not they knew, I don’t know. But certainly there were people within the school who knew.” As a result of trying to keep the affair secret and the attentions of other male teachers, Ms. Ivanowski claims she suffers severe anxiety and panic attacks and was unable to complete her course work. While she will likely receive her diploma, she was not allowed to take part in yesterday’s graduation ceremony. She said she blames the school for failing to give her the support she needed to graduate with her classmates. Now 19, Ms. Ivanowski was 18 and of legal age when the affair began. She said she started having feelings for her teacher when she was student clerk for him her junior year, and the pair would have lunch together and talk. In the spring of 2008 she wrote him an e-mail and said she was in love with him. In response, Mr. Monfredo turned the letter over to the administration, and arrangements were made for her to complete the course outside of the class. Last summer, however, the pair began the affair after meeting at the Salem Cross Inn. “He said it was wrong and that he shouldn’t be doing it,” she recalled. “Then later he told me he was in love with me.” She said Mr. Monfredo was going through a divorce and that she met his 5-year-old daughter. She said she also e-mailed his wife, who said she was aware of the relationship. Mr. Monfredo was also aware that he was under scrutiny at the school, according to an e-mail he sent her Feb. 25. “Baby, I am there for you as much as I can be without compromising my job … Tenzca and Hippert are watching my every move these days,” he wrote, referring to the principal and to Tracey Hippert, dean of students. He also suggested, “Sunday brunch with my parents and then we will go bowling or something with them.” Mr. Monfredo’s father, John Monfredo Sr., is a member of the Worcester School Committee. Ms. Ivanowski said she and her teacher frequently spent the night at his parents’ house in Worcester, but they believed she was a college student. Both she and Mr. Monfredo said rumors were rampant at the school that she was sleeping with a teacher. She said she was questioned by administrators — as recently as last month, after Mr. Monfredo bought her a diamond ring — and denied the affair because she didn’t want Mr. Monfredo to get in trouble. “I had to lie for John,” she said. “I told them that I was in love with him, but he’d have nothing to do with me.” She said she decided to come forward because the school failed to make allowances for her anxiety disorder and “looked at me like a sleazeball stripper.” She said she was uncomfortable at the school because one teacher showed up at Centerfolds and she gave him a lap dance. Another teacher, to whom she confided that she was in love with Mr. Monfredo, later sent her an e-mail expressing a desire to see her outside of school, she said. Her lawyer, Richard Rafferty, said that although Ms. Ivanowski was a willing participant in the relationship, Mr. Monfredo took advantage of his position as a teacher and authority figure. He said he plans to sue the school for creating a hostile environment for his client. “The principal knew about this and let it evolve,” Mr. Rafferty said. “It’s hard to believe she didn’t see the warning signs and investigate it further.” Mr. Monfredo said he’s planning a future with his former student, whom he described as a “very sweet and caring girl.” He said he understands his teaching career is over and wants to find work in the business sector. “This is not something I’ve ever done,” he said. “I know it was wrong. But you can’t necessarily choose who you fall in love with. For both of us, it was the generosity of spirit that we saw in one another.” For her part, Ms. Ivanowski spent five years at Quabbin and plans to receive her diploma this summer while continuing to dance at Centerfolds. She said “things have been tough” between her and her former teacher, but hopes they’ll be able to stand by each other. “I didn’t want to tell on anybody,” she said. “I know this is going to make them look bad. It will make me look bad. But I wasn’t treated fairly, and this needs to be heard.” Contact Dianne Williamson via e-mail at dwilliamson@telegram.com.
la miss OP parigote Joined: May 2007 Posts: 3,278	__________________ Dammit, I said good day! Follow me on Twitter

Jun 13th, 2009, 02:23 PM	#2
BagAngel Louis Vuitton Addict Joined: Oct 2006 Location: UK Posts: 20,251	While this is wrong & the teacher should have known better, she was of legal age, 18 & knew exactly what she was doing. Why is she crying now? She is an exotic dancer for goodness sake she is not some innocent that was lead astray!
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Jun 13th, 2009, 04:44 PM	#6
BiloxiBlu Bless your heart :) Joined: Aug 2006 Location: Biloxi, Mississippi Posts: 957	I agree, this one is bad on BOTH ends...
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Jun 13th, 2009, 04:54 PM	#7
blackpearl Member Joined: May 2008 Posts: 459	You know what my first thought was? She failed to graduate and is now going after school to get her diploma. And to get them to settle.
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Jun 14th, 2009, 03:05 AM	#9
sweetdreamer16 Member Joined: May 2008 Location: Vancouver Posts: 2,035	ugggh!! so wrong on so many levels!!!
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Jun 13th, 2009, 04:39 PM	#5
pollinilove Member Joined: Mar 2007 Location: norfolk va/elizabeth city nc Posts: 2,336	these girls look like adults my friend who i have known since i was 10 had a baby sister who is now 18 she looks like a play boy bunny

Jun 15th, 2009, 04:35 PM	#11
bellafleur Member Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,626	My first thought was, how long has this girl been an exotic dancer?? She was only 18 when the affair began, so did she just start dancing?? And she lives with her mother, and her mother thought it was ok for her daughter be a junior in high school and dance naked on teachers' laps at a strip club??? What the ****??? Clearly dating a teacher is the least of her problems.
bellafleur Member Joined: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,626	__________________

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