Mother who forgot baby in car wants changes made to car seats

[Blondee178]

Originally Posted by merika

Your parents are just one isolated set of many millions of parents the world over. Parents, at least most of them who try to be responsible parents do try their best, all the time. Some people do make mistakes. Why are there rumble strips along the sides of the roads? Well, if everyone was a better and alert driver no-one would need this modern contraption, would they? Why does each highway waste hundreds of thousands of dollars constructing them? People are tired, people fall asleep at the wheel, PARENTS fall asleep at the wheel while they drive their kids around. A majority of parents don't intentionally let their kids come to harm, and I cannot believe the negativity in this thread.

Very True.
I'm sure if asked before the incident, the mother would have agree with most posters about it being simple negligence. Its easy to point fingers until it happens to you. I have never forgotten my son anywhere but that doesn't give me the right to condemn someone who has.

[nataliam1976]

Originally Posted by chag

So we all agree this is a horrible thing that has happened. The mother was at fault totally, no one is denying this but the thing I just don't understand is the resistance showing at what she is trying to do now, to prevent this from happening to another mother? There are millions and millions of wonderful caring parents out there who would never EVER in a trillion years think anything like this would ever happen to them BUT it does so why would bullying the car makers or inventing a device that tells you something is in that seat be such a bad idea. Someone invented a fan that fits to the window of a car to cool it why is it such a bad idea to have an alarm just as your fasten seat belt one for a child? An ounce of prevention, remember that old saying?

I dont think personally that its a bad idea per se, but I agree with possible implications such as the lawsuit. If someone can sue and win because there was no warning that the tea they had ordered was hot, then I wouldnt be surprised if someone would sue the producer and win if the alarm happened to be faulty and something happened to the child. I also think that it may give sense of false security to the parents.

You hear about those cases so often ( too often ) in the news, there are warnings on the radio and TV, parents can easily work out a system themselves to avoid that/diminish risk as well - set up reminder alarms on their phones for the times of the day when they know they routinely drive with the kiddo, put reminders in their computers that would show up first thing when they start working, put stickers on the car in a location they have to look at before/when they leave it and so on. ( I dont know how those seats would work out technically and cost wise and if everyone could afford it). An big, proper awareness campaign would be in place.

[Bella]

Thank you Chag and Merika... and I think Hautemama articulated some of what I couldn't earlier.

I also appreciate when we can all have a civil back and forth discussion.... and anyone that must be condescending about others showing compassion in cases like this, well that says more about them then it does me.

[Bella]

I don't think this is about judging others or being self righteous. I'm not a mother. I don't know if I will ever be, but one thing I know for certain is if I do become a mother someday I will be the best most responsible mother I can be.

I see how this could happen. I could never think I'm not capable. I'm human. This is where I find what it is that put's me for a second in the minds and hearts of these parents who have done this. Forgetting you left your child in the car, all day.. I can't imagine a parent knowing, having to live with killing their own child. Honestly, I don't know where they find the strength to go on. There were never ill intentions, just a very very tragic accident. One that should never happen.

[Roo]

Originally Posted by chag

So we all agree this is a horrible thing that has happened. The mother was at fault totally, no one is denying this but the thing I just don't understand is the resistance showing at what she is trying to do now, to prevent this from happening to another mother? There are millions and millions of wonderful caring parents out there who would never EVER in a trillion years think anything like this would ever happen to them BUT it does so why would bullying the car makers or inventing a device that tells you something is in that seat be such a bad idea. Someone invented a fan that fits to the window of a car to cool it why is it such a bad idea to have an alarm just as your fasten seat belt one for a child? An ounce of prevention, remember that old saying?

I don't think we're all going to agree on this, but that's OK.

I think that a lot of us ARE expressing frustration because we've seen over and over how it seems like responsibility these days gets shifted away from individuals and onto the legal system and other things for personal mistakes and choices, and that's frustrating.

I know that most of us are at an age that we don't ever remember kids being left in the car like this. Our parents remembered to get us out (even if maybe they didn't want to at times ) Seriously though, there are a lot of strong feelings about this and everyone is entitled to their opinions without being condescended to

I, personally, am tired of living in what I refer to as a 'nanny state'. We should be adults who can take care of even the more basic responsibilties in life.

And I will also say that no matter how many devices or laws are out there, someone will still leave their kid in the car again. And also, I think the penalty for leaving a child in the car should involve mandatory prison time. It's neglegence- and I stand by that opinion.

I would also like to ponder what would have happened if the father of this baby left it in the car? Surely if it had been a man in her situation, he would have been convicted of manslaughter and served jail time.

[merika]

Originally Posted by Roo

I don't think we're all going to agree on this, but that's OK. I think that a lot of us ARE expressing frustration because we've seen over and over how it seems like responsibility these days gets shifted away from individuals and onto the legal system and other things for personal mistakes and choices, and that's frustrating. I know that most of us are at an age that we don't ever remember kids being left in the car like this. Our parents remembered to get us out (even if maybe they didn't want to at times ) Seriously though, there are a lot of strong feelings about this and everyone is entitled to their opinions without being condescended to I, personally, am tired of living in what I refer to as a 'nanny state'. We should be adults who can take care of even the more basic responsibilties in life. And I will also say that no matter how many devices or laws are out there, someone will still leave their kid in the car again. And also, I think the penalty for leaving a child in the car should involve mandatory prison time. It's neglegence- and I stand by that opinion. I would also like to ponder what would have happened if the father of this baby left it in the car? Surely if it had been a man in her situation, he would have been convicted of manslaughter and served jail time.

Daniel Fu, who left his baby daughter unattended in a car while he went to work at Rice University in Houston wasn't convicted of manslaughter and didn't serve jail time - in fact I don't think he was even charged of a crime.

[DamierLover]

Baby dies after being left in car at El Cerrito BART station

By Roman Gokhman
Contra Costa Times
Posted: 06/08/2009 07:35:41 PM PDT
Updated: 06/09/2009 06:55:28 AM PDT

EL CERRITO — A 4-month-old boy died Monday after being left inside his father's car for hours at a BART parking lot, a BART spokesman said.
The boy was rushed to a hospital about 5:30 p.m. after his mother found him unresponsive inside his father's car, which was parked at the El Cerrito Plaza BART Station in the 6600 block of Fairmount Avenue.
The boy, whose name was not released, was pronounced dead shortly after 6 p.m. at Doctors Medical Center San Pablo, BART spokesman Linton Johnson said.
The boy's father typically dropped off the boy at day care before heading to the BART station, Johnson said, but when the mother went there to pick up the child, he was not there.
She decided to go to the BART station, where she found the father's car with the boy inside. Police said the child had been inside the car all day. Temperatures in El Cerrito on Monday were in the high 60s or low 70s.
According to a fact sheet prepared by the Department of Geosciences at San Francisco State, children can be at hyperthermia risk even at such mild temperatures. There were 42 known deaths of children left in vehicles during 2008, the department's Web site said. About one-third of such fatalities since 1998 have been children younger than 1.
BART police on Monday evening were in the process of interviewing the parents, Johnson said. He did not say if police are investigating the death as a crime or if they planned to make an arrest.
The death was reminiscent of a similar case in July 2007, when Benicia resident Danny Takemoto accidentally left his 11-month-old son in the family's hot minivan for as long as seven hours while the vehicle was parked at his Concord workplace.

Takemoto forgot to drop off the boy at day care and it was not until his wife called to ask about their son that the boy was found. He was initially arrested on suspicion of involuntary manslaughter and willful cruelty to a child, but no charges were filed.
Anyone with information about Monday's death may call BART police at 510-464-7040


Sadly, this happened just last week. So very sad for everybody.

[Roo]

Originally Posted by merika

Daniel Fu, who left his baby daughter unattended in a car while he went to work at Rice University in Houston wasn't convicted of manslaughter and didn't serve jail time - in fact I don't think he was even charged of a crime.

^^ All the more sad.

[merika]

Originally Posted by Roo

^^ All the more sad.

There was actually an interesting discussion taking place at that time when two fathers (one of them the one I mentioned above) were treated very differently for the same situation where they had left kids unattended in cars and the children died of heat. The other parent was a day-laborer, and I believe he was charged. There were several accusations of police treating parents of different economic/educational background differently.

[DamierLover]

Their's is a prison they can never hope to escape from. They have to live with the memories of their dead child.

I'm amazed at the lack of compassion on this subject by so many here on tpf.

[amanda]

Just a little reminder - just because you may disagree with someone on the principals behind a situation, doesn't mean the people you disagree with are heartless, unsympathetic, or deserving of condescension. I don't think anyone here is saying that there's no tragedy in a baby dying needlessly and I don't think there's any need for the tone that some of these posts have taken.

[nataliam1976]

Roo, I remembered this thread about a father who did the same with the kid, not sure though how to find out what happened later.

Baby dies after being forgotten in car

ETA I can see Merika beat me to it.

[Bella]

Originally Posted by DamierLover

Their's is a prison they can never hope to escape from. They have to live with the memories of their dead child. I'm amazed at the lack of compassion on this subject by so many here on tpf.

No. There's no lack of compassion in that statement. It's true. So sad and true.

[nataliam1976]

Originally Posted by merika

There was actually an interesting discussion taking place at that time when two fathers (one of them the one I mentioned above) were treated very differently for the same situation where they had left kids unattended in cars and the children died of heat. The other parent was a day-laborer, and I believe he was charged. There were several accusations of police treating parents of different economic/educational background differently.

I dont remember the two fathers but there was a case of a young woman working in Hooters who accidentally left her child in the car and was charged with negligent homicide and a woman who was teacher or a school admin of some sort and didnt have to bear any consequences of the same act. Seriously, WTH?

[BagLadie]

While I can't imagine forgetting my child, my heart goes out to anyone this happens to. I am not sure what to think. Just so sad all around.