Mother who forgot baby in car wants changes made to car seats

[omgsweet]

Originally Posted by anusa

sorry really sorry didnt intend to sound harsh or anything probably i my self try to get out of the kind of guilt i have that i responded in that way

Its ok. Just know that my post was in no way negative and I was not judging you. I think you are very blessed. I believe all things happen for a reason. Maybe that was God's way of telling you to get some sleep! Having kids is the hardest job I have ever experienced.

[DesigningStyle]

There comes a point when people have to be responsible for their actions. Please no more laws--a car seat alarm is not needed. Parents you have a BIG job--your children.

[Panda1]

Actually the baby was in the car for hours and we don't know if he/she died within 10 minutes. Regardless, the baby suffered. If a baby can die within 10 minutes in a car, it supports the view that not everyone should be a parent because of the dilligence and responsibility involved. That baby didn't have a choice.

Originally Posted by vhdos

Actually, it can take only 10 minutes for an infant to die in a car because their body temperature can rise 3 times faster than an adult. I would never even begin to judge a mother that accidentally left her infant in a car mostly because I don't understand it. My mind can not even comprehend how that could even happen and yet it happens every year to seemingly normal, loving mothers. I suppose it would be similar to driving your car while you are not at all paying attention. Somehow, you end up at your destination without any recollection of how you got there. Our minds sometimes go on "cruise control." I have heard many cases where the typical morning routine is interrupted, like mom has a doctor's appointment so dad takes baby to daycare. Meanwhile, dad's brain goes on cruise control and he forgets to drop off the sleeping baby at daycare and forgets them in the car. Is it horrific for an infant to die in a car? Absolutely. However, I can think of no worse hell than to live knowing you killed your own child in one senseless act.

[vhdos]

Originally Posted by Panda1

Actually the baby was in the car for hours and we don't know if he/she died within 10 minutes. Regardless, the baby suffered. If a baby can die within 10 minutes in a car, it supports the view that not everyone should be a parent because of the dilligence and responsibility involved. That baby didn't have a choice.

I never said the baby died within 10 minutes. I don't know any of the details of this particular case, so I'm not making any claims whatsoever. All I said was that it can only take 10 minutes for an infant to die in a car.

[sweetneet]

what i still can't get over is how can a parent forget about the kid for an ENTIRE 8-HOUR DAY. i get the notion how some parents may forget for a few minutes, but i can't comprehend how they forget about a child for an entire day, even when asked about the child or seeing pictures of the child (how they managed to convince themselves that they dropped off the child at daycare but never did).

like let's say one morning before work i have to stop by the dry cleaners to drop off a dress I wore at a party the other day. however, since that morning i happen to be busy and stressed, I end up going on autopilot and go straight to work, forgetting the dress in the backseat. Then, once getting to work I talk to a coworker who shows me pictures of me wearing the dress from the party the other day. IMMEDIATELY, i would be like "oh crap, i forgot to take the dress to the dry cleaners!" I would NOT be like oh yeah, I took that dress to the cleaners this morning.. then after work drive over to the cleaners (not noticing that it was still there in my backseat) and then expect the dress to be there at the cleaners, all cleaned and pressed, not realizing I never dropped it off to begin with. KWIM?? I just can't wrap my head around that. And I am talking about dry cleaning, a care far more insignificant than one's own child, who I would imagine should demand far more attention on a daily basis.

[dallas]

Originally Posted by sweetneet

what i still can't get over is how can a parent forget about the kid for an ENTIRE 8-HOUR DAY. i get the notion how some parents may forget for a few minutes, but i can't comprehend how they forget about a child for an entire day, even when asked about the child or seeing pictures of the child (how they managed to convince themselves that they dropped off the child at daycare but never did).

I can't comprehend it either. I may sound heartless, but I have a hard time believing this:

Quote:

.""The whole time I'm at work, I'm thinking she's OK, and she's safe, and she's at Discoveryland," Wesley says. "I know that sounds crazy."

It doesn't make sense that this woman thought about her child the "whole time" and yet her brain or subconscious or intuition, did not register that something was terribly wrong. No alarm bells rang. It just doesn't make sense.

[Panda1]

This thread is about a particular case and that is what we were discussing. I was not disputing your point that a baby in a car can die within 10 minutes.

Originally Posted by vhdos

I never said the baby died within 10 minutes. I don't know any of the details of this particular case, so I'm not making any claims whatsoever. All I said was that it can only take 10 minutes for an infant to die in a car.

[omgsweet]

Originally Posted by sweetneet

what i still can't get over is how can a parent forget about the kid for an ENTIRE 8-HOUR DAY. i get the notion how some parents may forget for a few minutes, but i can't comprehend how they forget about a child for an entire day, even when asked about the child or seeing pictures of the child (how they managed to convince themselves that they dropped off the child at daycare but never did). like let's say one morning before work i have to stop by the dry cleaners to drop off a dress I wore at a party the other day. however, since that morning i happen to be busy and stressed, I end up going on autopilot and go straight to work, forgetting the dress in the backseat. Then, once getting to work I talk to a coworker who shows me pictures of me wearing the dress from the party the other day. IMMEDIATELY, i would be like "oh crap, i forgot to take the dress to the dry cleaners!" I would NOT be like oh yeah, I took that dress to the cleaners this morning.. then after work drive over to the cleaners (not noticing that it was still there in my backseat) and then expect the dress to be there at the cleaners, all cleaned and pressed, not realizing I never dropped it off to begin with. KWIM?? I just can't wrap my head around that. And I am talking about dry cleaning, a care far more insignificant than one's own child, who I would imagine should demand far more attention on a daily basis.

Exactly.

[coachlover1000]

Originally Posted by Roo

I actually got a little angry when I read the article, bella. The reason is that if there are alarms placed on car seats and they don't work right, then the parent gets to sue the alarm company for negligence if their child dies. It totally removes the responsibility for remembering your child is in the car from the parent.

I agree.

[Lola24]

I think the problem is people have children because they feel like that's part of life but they still have to maintain some of the same life they had before the children (like both parents working). When this happens there are often crazy schedules, not doing the same drop off and pick up everyday, and frankly, in addition to raising a child many of these parents are just overwhelmed with too many other responsibilities overall. Now I'm NOT defending this woman, she made a huge mistake that she will live with the rest of her life. But she probably wasn't as prepared for the demands of raising a child while maintaining a career, it's a huge commitment and a lot of work and I cringe at the thought of ever having a child while having to work full time, yet it would be a HUGE financial struggle to not work, so what to do? For me, it's not having children unless I know my life can accommodate it....not that that's right for everyone...

[SOLIDGOLD2]

Originally Posted by Roo

I actually got a little angry when I read the article, bella. The reason is that if there are alarms placed on car seats and they don't work right, then the parent gets to sue the alarm company for negligence if their child dies. It totally removes the responsibility for remembering your child is in the car from the parent.

hitting it right on the nail Roo
I just don't buy it, How can a parent forget their child is in the car. I dont care if your tired over worked. Your tired do something about it before it gets to the point that your not thinking straight.

AND she had another baby which was born around the same time. If it were me i dont think i could have sex just three months after the death of my child which i caused. She is disgusting

I think something is wrong with her. How could she have sat at work thinking her child is safe. We all have gut instincts didnt something tell her something was wrong. I think she should have gotten jail time.

[No Cute]

I haven't read everything, but some things indicate that this case could be impacted by severe sleep deprivation and/or mental illness.

[HaydenM]

how hard is it to just check your backseat each time you lock up and leave the vehicle? or how about taping a piece of masking tape over your forehead as a reminder?

[Jessica_TFD]

It is very tragic but it happens all the time.

I have 2 children and honestly have no clue how someone could "forget" their child was not dropped off at the childcare facility. I've been half asleep (due to waking up late after nights of almost constant waking) when I arrived at my place of work (when I worked). That was part of my routine in the mornings...waking..showering...tending to the kids (breakfast, dressing, getting out the door) and then heading off to the daycare.

it truely breaks my heart everytime I hear of an incident. I can't imagine the guilt the parent must feel.

[nataliam1976]

Main topic related : a family left a child in the taxi and the police wanted to press charges against the cab driver for not following the rules - while the parents havent even been given a warning. I can understand that the cab driver didnt check the back seat properly, but who has bigger responsibility here?

No wonder then people feel like they have done nothing wrong.

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