Mother who forgot baby in car wants changes made to car seats

[omgsweet]

Originally Posted by Panda1

It is not about being perfect but being responsible. The baby was tortured for hours before death, that is not a simple mistake, it is a crime. Some parents say it could happen to anyone to make themselves feel better but they are wrong. Cars have been around since the early 20th century. Since that time, thousands of parents have driven cars and not forgotten their baby in the backseat for hours. If someone is not capable of remembering they left their baby in the car for hours (not a few minutes!), maybe they should think hard on whether they should have children.

I agree. Having a baby is such a major responsibility. If one feels that something may happen because they are forgetful...I would suggest maybe not havig a child.

If this happened to me, I would never have another child again. I just wouldn't be able to trust myself.

[BasketballCourt]

I love how she's trying to blame this on the car manufacturers.

Take responsibility for your actions.

[Nola]

How does one forget a child? A CHILD. This isn´t anyone else´s fault but her own.

[anusa]

how does one forget a baby in the car??
well I guess I can explain first hand one can


I had not joined tpf at that time and my DD was just about 2 and a half months. I had a colicky baby she used to nap never sleep barely goin 2 hrs at a time.She cried 7P.M. to 2 A.M. each and every single day. Infact this was her trend even after she was like 14 months. I did start a thread on this 4 am in morning here. This happened to me when my husband had gone for a week on a work related tour. I was not abe to sleep for straight 4 days totally tired stressed and sleep deprived. I got a call at about three P.M.
from a friend who said that she could watch my dd if i dropped her to her place for a couple of hrs. I just wanted to sleep for some Hrs. I just put my DD in the car and went out and did some grocery shopping (i took her out with me at that time). Some how after I drove back toward my friends place it just kind of loomed over me that I had dropped her off and now will go and sleep while she was still in the car. Infact I had not even gone to my friends place. I drove back home and left the baby the grocery and every thing in the car outside and came in. All this time I was totally believing that my dd was with my friend. i had barely left her out for about may be 15 mins thats it. As the thot that I had already left her at my friends palce had fogged my mind, out of the blue it struck me that I dont remember meeting my friend today. I thot may be I am too tired so I cant recall meeting her. But then I thot before sleeping I will just put the grocery in the fridge. (which i did not carry with me to my home and had left in the car). As soon as I thot of grocery it struck me I did not go to my friends place and where is my dd.
the immidiate thot was I left her in the store. I kind of ran out side covered three levels and to the parking lot in not more than a min meanwhile calling 911 and telling them I forgot my daughter in publix store 5 mins from my place. even before I could finish speaking with the despatcher I was there in my car and saw her screaming all red and thrown up atleast once. I was dumbfound to see her in that state. I still cannot believe this happened to me. Since then how so ever tired I am if I am driving alone with her I were a red big cuff in my right hand which is always visible.

I know Things can happen but look the point is I remmembered her within just 15-20 mins.

so I know one can forget a child in the backseat but for 6-8 hrs straight this I cannot understand

since that day not a single day passes when I dont recall what could have happened.
That mere feeling sends a terror wave thru out my body. I cannot put that feeling to words. And more over cannot thank the lord enough for saving us from such ordeal.

[Baby Boo]

whilst reading this i understand that ppl get caught up adn tired and maybe forgetful and might leave the baby in the car for a few mins and then go oh S**t and get the baby but to go the whole day honesntly thinking the baby was ok? thats alot and then to drive with the baby already int he back and not notice?


^ you were very lucky you got her out just in time.. god bless

[my2cuties]

Wow - some of you are just harsh! I guess some of you are just PERFECT parents who have NEVER taken their eyes off their children, have NEVER been distracted for a few minutes while their children are left to their own devices. Because a few minutes is all it takes for something very bad to happen to a child.

While I could never imagine forgetting my children in the car, I can see how it can happen. Lack of sleep, extreme stress, a change in routine.... It is not malicious, it is not intentional. It is just the worst mistake a parent can make. ALL parents make mistakes, but by the grace of god, most children do not die from them.

[chag]

Thank you for your post. I'm sure the pain in your heart while typing it was as great as when you saw your babies face when you realized something was horribly wrong and found her in the car. My heart goes out to you and all the other mothers that have experienced this. While we all can bicker over "responsibility" here none of us have experienced a near miss or the tragedy of being too late. Thank you and God bless your heart and daughter. I'm so glad you were in time

Originally Posted by anusa

how does one forget a baby in the car?? well I guess I can explain first hand one can I had not joined tpf at that time and my DD was just about 2 and a half months. I had a colicky baby she used to nap never sleep barely goin 2 hrs at a time.She cried 7P.M. to 2 A.M. each and every single day. Infact this was her trend even after she was like 14 months. I did start a thread on this 4 am in morning here. This happened to me when my husband had gone for a week on a work related tour. I was not abe to sleep for straight 4 days totally tired stressed and sleep deprived. I got a call at about three P.M. from a friend who said that she could watch my dd if i dropped her to her place for a couple of hrs. I just wanted to sleep for some Hrs. I just put my DD in the car and went out and did some grocery shopping (i took her out with me at that time). Some how after I drove back toward my friends place it just kind of loomed over me that I had dropped her off and now will go and sleep while she was still in the car. Infact I had not even gone to my friends place. I drove back home and left the baby the grocery and every thing in the car outside and came in. All this time I was totally believing that my dd was with my friend. i had barely left her out for about may be 15 mins thats it. As the thot that I had already left her at my friends palce had fogged my mind, out of the blue it struck me that I dont remember meeting my friend today. I thot may be I am too tired so I cant recall meeting her. But then I thot before sleeping I will just put the grocery in the fridge. (which i did not carry with me to my home and had left in the car). As soon as I thot of grocery it struck me I did not go to my friends place and where is my dd. the immidiate thot was I left her in the store. I kind of ran out side covered three levels and to the parking lot in not more than a min meanwhile calling 911 and telling them I forgot my daughter in publix store 5 mins from my place. even before I could finish speaking with the despatcher I was there in my car and saw her screaming all red and thrown up atleast once. I was dumbfound to see her in that state. I still cannot believe this happened to me. Since then how so ever tired I am if I am driving alone with her I were a red big cuff in my right hand which is always visible. I know Things can happen but look the point is I remmembered her within just 15-20 mins. so I know one can forget a child in the backseat but for 6-8 hrs straight this I cannot understand since that day not a single day passes when I dont recall what could have happened. That mere feeling sends a terror wave thru out my body. I cannot put that feeling to words. And more over cannot thank the lord enough for saving us from such ordeal.

[chag]

Originally Posted by my2cuties

Wow - some of you are just harsh! I guess some of you are just PERFECT parents who have NEVER taken their eyes off their children, have NEVER been distracted for a few minutes while their children are left to their own devices. Because a few minutes is all it takes for something very bad to happen to a child. While I could never imagine forgetting my children in the car, I can see how it can happen. Lack of sleep, extreme stress, a change in routine.... It is not malicious, it is not intentional. It is just the worst mistake a parent can make. ALL parents make mistakes, but by the grace of god, most children do not die from them.

My thoughts exactly

[meela188]

Originally Posted by anusa

how does one forget a baby in the car?? well I guess I can explain first hand one can I had not joined tpf at that time and my DD was just about 2 and a half months. I had a colicky baby she used to nap never sleep barely goin 2 hrs at a time.She cried 7P.M. to 2 A.M. each and every single day. Infact this was her trend even after she was like 14 months. I did start a thread on this 4 am in morning here. This happened to me when my husband had gone for a week on a work related tour. I was not abe to sleep for straight 4 days totally tired stressed and sleep deprived. I got a call at about three P.M. from a friend who said that she could watch my dd if i dropped her to her place for a couple of hrs. I just wanted to sleep for some Hrs. I just put my DD in the car and went out and did some grocery shopping (i took her out with me at that time). Some how after I drove back toward my friends place it just kind of loomed over me that I had dropped her off and now will go and sleep while she was still in the car. Infact I had not even gone to my friends place. I drove back home and left the baby the grocery and every thing in the car outside and came in. All this time I was totally believing that my dd was with my friend. i had barely left her out for about may be 15 mins thats it. As the thot that I had already left her at my friends palce had fogged my mind, out of the blue it struck me that I dont remember meeting my friend today. I thot may be I am too tired so I cant recall meeting her. But then I thot before sleeping I will just put the grocery in the fridge. (which i did not carry with me to my home and had left in the car). As soon as I thot of grocery it struck me I did not go to my friends place and where is my dd. the immidiate thot was I left her in the store. I kind of ran out side covered three levels and to the parking lot in not more than a min meanwhile calling 911 and telling them I forgot my daughter in publix store 5 mins from my place. even before I could finish speaking with the despatcher I was there in my car and saw her screaming all red and thrown up atleast once. I was dumbfound to see her in that state. I still cannot believe this happened to me. Since then how so ever tired I am if I am driving alone with her I were a red big cuff in my right hand which is always visible. I know Things can happen but look the point is I remmembered her within just 15-20 mins. so I know one can forget a child in the backseat but for 6-8 hrs straight this I cannot understand since that day not a single day passes when I dont recall what could have happened. That mere feeling sends a terror wave thru out my body. I cannot put that feeling to words. And more over cannot thank the lord enough for saving us from such ordeal.

I can understand how someone can forget their baby for a couple hours just the same was they can forget for a couple minutes. You had convinced yourself that she was with your friend and if you had not thought to get up and bring in the groceries, you would have fell asleep, that's how 15min can turn into a couple hours. My friend forgot her son at church of all places. She has two boys and we were leaving church heading to the mall. I told her i was taking the eldest because he asked if he could ride with me, but she was talking to someone as i was talking to her so she thought i was taking the boys, as in both. I got to the mall just a bit before her and when she did meet up with us she asked me where the youngest was and i replied IDK. Then she said what do you mean you siad you were taking the kids, and i'm like no i said i was taking Mathew. The look of terror that took over her face, i can never forget but we quickly realized he must still be at church and he was.

[omgsweet]

15 mins in the Arizona hot sun and it could have very well been too late.

You were very very lucky.

I still can't say I fully understand it though. I, too, have been extremely sleep deprived. While I am not a perfect parent, I am constantly thinking about what my children are doing. When they are sleeping I check on them to make sure they are breathing countless times. When they are are with a babysitter, I call and check to make sure all is good so many times that it irritates the babysitter.

Bless you and your baby. I'm sure this experience made you a more watchful parent.

Originally Posted by anusa

how does one forget a baby in the car?? well I guess I can explain first hand one can I had not joined tpf at that time and my DD was just about 2 and a half months. I had a colicky baby she used to nap never sleep barely goin 2 hrs at a time.She cried 7P.M. to 2 A.M. each and every single day. Infact this was her trend even after she was like 14 months. I did start a thread on this 4 am in morning here. This happened to me when my husband had gone for a week on a work related tour. I was not abe to sleep for straight 4 days totally tired stressed and sleep deprived. I got a call at about three P.M. from a friend who said that she could watch my dd if i dropped her to her place for a couple of hrs. I just wanted to sleep for some Hrs. I just put my DD in the car and went out and did some grocery shopping (i took her out with me at that time). Some how after I drove back toward my friends place it just kind of loomed over me that I had dropped her off and now will go and sleep while she was still in the car. Infact I had not even gone to my friends place. I drove back home and left the baby the grocery and every thing in the car outside and came in. All this time I was totally believing that my dd was with my friend. i had barely left her out for about may be 15 mins thats it. As the thot that I had already left her at my friends palce had fogged my mind, out of the blue it struck me that I dont remember meeting my friend today. I thot may be I am too tired so I cant recall meeting her. But then I thot before sleeping I will just put the grocery in the fridge. (which i did not carry with me to my home and had left in the car). As soon as I thot of grocery it struck me I did not go to my friends place and where is my dd. the immidiate thot was I left her in the store. I kind of ran out side covered three levels and to the parking lot in not more than a min meanwhile calling 911 and telling them I forgot my daughter in publix store 5 mins from my place. even before I could finish speaking with the despatcher I was there in my car and saw her screaming all red and thrown up atleast once. I was dumbfound to see her in that state. I still cannot believe this happened to me. Since then how so ever tired I am if I am driving alone with her I were a red big cuff in my right hand which is always visible. I know Things can happen but look the point is I remmembered her within just 15-20 mins. so I know one can forget a child in the backseat but for 6-8 hrs straight this I cannot understand since that day not a single day passes when I dont recall what could have happened. That mere feeling sends a terror wave thru out my body. I cannot put that feeling to words. And more over cannot thank the lord enough for saving us from such ordeal.

[anusa]

thanks to all of you who posted after me
Yes I doooooooo strongly believe that I was blessed not to have a disaster in my family
I do count my stars every minute
i do think of it every day as i earlier said.
there no reason that can justify it either
But to OMGSWEET
Arizona sun??????? noooo she had already thrown up and was red and wheesing when i found her another few minutes in georgia itself would have been enough to asphixiate her on her own vomit
Do you think i dont understand How blessed i have been I do
accidents happen, not every time time because you have been negligent
can you imagine the ammount of sleep deprivation i was having that too without any family support. I had gone for full four days without a minute of sleep.
and had i not checked for my daughter it would have been way beyond 15 mins. Is it hard to fathom that brain do shuts itself off. we dont want it but it does. Al those things that you said you check on every watchfull parent does so did I not once or twice but always had that not been the case I wouldnt have been up four days straight. I was not up watching movie I was up watching my baby and trying hard to make her comfortable as possible.

if you look at the time i posted that post you will see it is 4 am in the morning when i posted it . I was still up watching my daughter play why because she cannot sleep more than three hrs at a stretch while today i have become habitual of such life style.after more than 18 months going by there was a time when my body was not able to take it.


Having said that that day gives me nightmares. cautious is a small word to say for what i am today.
i connot justify that howsoever compelling the reasons can be still it was out of my controll.

To Meela 188 I understand what you said and to some extent do think it is possible.


thanks to all of you once again

[omgsweet]

Anusa, I mentioned the AZ sun because that is where I am from. You didn't mention where you are from. I wasn't saying you were in AZ. I was just saying you were damn lucky.

[anusa]

sorry really sorry didnt intend to sound harsh or anything probably i my self try to get out of the kind of guilt i have that i responded in that way

Originally Posted by omgsweet

Anusa, I mentioned the AZ sun because that is where I am from. You didn't mention where you are from. I wasn't saying you were in AZ. I was just saying you were damn lucky.

[kroquet]

Anusa - my Grandson had the hardest time sleeping and my daughter was always sleep deprived. I truly think you are blessed that all turned out good.

OT kind of - was driving home yesterday and the temp guage on my car was reading between 106 and 109. I HATE SUMMER!!! Ok, geez, I feel better, rant over!! lol

[vhdos]

Originally Posted by Panda1

These parents' sorrow can never match the hours of horrible suffering their children endured. Somehow they didn't forget their purse or cell phones

Actually, it can take only 10 minutes for an infant to die in a car because their body temperature can rise 3 times faster than an adult.
I would never even begin to judge a mother that accidentally left her infant in a car mostly because I don't understand it. My mind can not even comprehend how that could even happen and yet it happens every year to seemingly normal, loving mothers.
I suppose it would be similar to driving your car while you are not at all paying attention. Somehow, you end up at your destination without any recollection of how you got there. Our minds sometimes go on "cruise control."
I have heard many cases where the typical morning routine is interrupted, like mom has a doctor's appointment so dad takes baby to daycare. Meanwhile, dad's brain goes on cruise control and he forgets to drop off the sleeping baby at daycare and forgets them in the car.
Is it horrific for an infant to die in a car? Absolutely. However, I can think of no worse hell than to live knowing you killed your own child in one senseless act.