Mother who forgot baby in car wants changes made to car seats

[Bella]

If you are dropping a child off at childcare, and normally it's your spouse or partner who drops them off, have your spouse or partner call you to make sure the drop went according to plan.

This is it. I can't imagine the parents who after have to say to themselves, if I had only...

If there's one thing to do when the routine changes, it's this. Call to confirm!

[sweetneet]

kroquet - i agree. i think if say i was the one to drop off my kid at daycare and one day i asked my husband to do it, soon after i would for sure call my husband and ask him about it, how the drop off went, etc. and i'm sure he would do the same. it's not that we wouldn't trust each other, i'd probably be the type that would always want to know what was going on my with my child. i could see myself as a mother using those webcams at daycares to always monitor them.

i think the bolded parts in that article are things that all parents could do that would make forgetting kids in cars preventable. in particular, the part about always looking inside the car before locking it and walking away (and also, before you get in the car and start driving). that also prevents the situations of when older children sneak into cars without parents knowing and get trapped inside (according to the article that accounts for 1/3 of the heat-related deaths of children in cars). i remember a sad case last year where a 4-year-old boy died on his mom's wedding day, because the boy had crawled in the car without his mother knowing and she went to get her nails done and had her car parked outside for several hours.

[Blondee178]

http://ggweather.com/heat/

Hyperthermia Deaths of Children in Vehicles

Already in 2009 there have been ten deaths of infants after being left inside a hot vehicle. Last year there were a total of at least forty-two such fatalities in the United States due to hyperthermia after they were left in hot cars, trucks, vans and SUV's. This sadly followed 35 and 42 child deaths in 2007 and 2006 respectively. Since 1998 there have been at least a total of 425 of these needless tragedies. This study shows that these incidents can occur on days with relatively mild (i.e., ~ 70 degrees F) temperatures and that vehicles can occur reach life-threatening temperatures very rapidly.

Total number of U.S. hyperthermia deaths of children left in cars, 2009;10
Total number of U.S. hyperthermia deaths of children left in cars, 2008: 42
Total number of U.S. hyperthermia deaths of children left in cars, 1998-2009:425
Average number of U.S. child hyperthermia fatalities per year since 1998:38

[mrodriquez2006]

Originally Posted by dallas

I have a feeling that some of you (perhaps all?) are going to let me have it after this post but I have to say it because it always comes to mind after reading of tragedies such as this. I believe that the silly notion of "having it all" may be a big factor in these situations. We want children but don't want to give up a career and we try to juggle. We have stressed parents dropping children off a day care at Lord-only-knows what time in the morning, so that they can rush to their busy jobs then after 8/9/10 hours at work, rushing back to pick up their children, going home, cooking dinner, bath time, bedtime, get up early and do it all over again. Everyone is exhausted and stressed, going through the motions without stopping to think. It's exhausting being a SAHP and exhausting to work full time and when you combine the two, is it any wonder that things like this can happen?

i totally agree...for me, my mom was a SAHM and she didn't drive so we took the bus if we needed to go places...she said she would have horrible nightmares of leaving me on the bus. i held her hand EVERYWHERE we went and I was never out of her sight.

i just think people get so rushed that they forget...everything...iknow I'm always rushing and I lock my keys in my car or i forget my lunch...but when i transport my dog, he's the only thing that matters in that moment. I guess i could see how one could forget in the hustle, but the consequences are devastating

good grief, i'll remember this story forever and when I have kids I'll be one hell of a paranoid mom...

[Bella]

Thanks for the link Blondee178, exactly what I wanted to know. However, I'm not exactly sure how child playing in unattended vehicle scenario would play out. Any thoughts?

Circumstances

• An examination of media reports about the 361 child vehicular hyperthermia deaths for a ten year period (1998 through 2007) shows the following circumstances:
  
  • 51% - child "forgotten" by caregiver
  • 30% - child playing in unattended vehicle
  • 18% - child intentionally left in vehicle by adult
  • 1% - circumstances unknown

Ages

Children that have died from vehicular hyperthermia in the United States (1998-2007) have ranged in age from 7 weeks to 13 years. The average age is approximately 24 months. Below are the percentage of deaths (and the number of deaths) sorted by age.

• Less than 1 year old = 33% (113)
• 1-year old = 22% (77)
• 2-years old = 21% (75)
• 3-years old = 12% (43)
• 4-years old = 5% (18)

• 5-years old = 3% (10)
• 6-years old = 2% (6)
• 7-years old = 1% (2)
• 8-years old = 1% (2)
• 9-years old = 1% (2)

• 10-years old = 1% (3)
• 11-years old = 0% (0)
• 12-years old = < 1% (1)
• 13-years old = < 1% (1)

http://ggweather.com/heat/

[sweetneet]

Originally Posted by Bella

Thanks for the link Blondee178, exactly what I wanted to know. However, I'm not exactly sure how child playing in unattended vehicle scenario would play out. Any thoughts?

i don't know if this is your question, but i'm guessing while the car is parked at home children manage to sneak into backseat or trunks of (unlocked) cars without their parents knowing, and then at some point the parent gets into the car, drives off somewhere, parks and locks the car, leaving the children trapped inside.

its weird though because you think the parent would notice the child missing before going off to drive anywhere. i guess though it could be one of those things where one parent assumed the kids were being watched by the other parent..and vice versa.

i guess this type of thing is fairly common since little kids love to hide in places. when my brother was 4 years old, he and another neighborhood kid decided to hide inside this kid' closet for a few hours. i remember my mom and the other kids mom had a search party going on, everyone was so freaked. my DH did a similar thing to his mom when he was 3 years old. i remember back in the 80s the whole thing with disposing of old refrigerators was such a big deal because kids kept getting trapped in them.

[Blondee178]

Interesting Article. I cut out most of it though b/c of how long it was. It touches on a lot of the earlier discussions.

http://ggweather.com/heat/ap_sentencing.htm

Sentences Vary When Kids Die in Hot Cars

What is the appropriate punishment for a doting parent responsible for his child's death?

Since the mid-1990s, the number of children who died of heat exhaustion while trapped inside vehicles has risen dramatically, totaling around 340 in the past 10 years. Ironically, one reason was a change parent-drivers made to protect their kids after juvenile air-bag deaths peaked in 1995 - they put them in the back seat, where they are more easily forgotten.

Many cases involved what might be called community pillars: dentists and nurses; ministers and college professors; a concert violinist; a member of a county social services board; a NASA engineer. And it is undisputed that none - or almost none - intended to harm these children.

"When you look at overall who this is happening to, it's some very, very, very good parents - might I say, doting parents," says Janette Fennell, founder and president of Kids and Cars, a nonprofit group that tracks child deaths and injuries in and around automobiles.

"But no one thinks it's going to happen to them. I think people are lying if they say that there wasn't one situation in raising their child that, `There but for the grace of God go I.'"

Texas leads the nation with at least 41 deaths, followed by Florida with 37, California with 32, North Carolina and Arizona with 14 apiece, and Tennessee with 13. There were deaths recorded in 44 states - most in the Sun Belt, but many in places not known for hot weather.

It's easy to forget your keys or that cup of coffee on the roof. But a child? How is that possible?

The awful truth, experts say, is that the stressed-out brain can bury a thought - something as trite as a coffee cup or crucial as a baby - and go on autopilot. While researchers once thought the different parts of the brain worked in conjunction with each other, they now realize that different portions dominate at different times.

"The value of the item is not only not relevant in these competing memory systems," says memory expert David Diamond. "But, in fact, we can be more complacent because we tell ourselves, 'There's no way I would forget my child.'"

Harvard University professor Daniel Shachter, a leading brain researcher, says memory is very "cue dependent."

"And in these cases, the cue is often missing," he says. "When we go on automatic, it's very possible for us to ignore or forget about seemingly important things."

Like a baby.

[kroquet]

Bella, maybe a child getting into an unlocked car to play?? I did that when I was a child and cars had just been invented! lol

I will say that every generation has it's stresses in different forms. I was a young Mom in the midst of the bank and S & L failures of the 80's and we would literally celebrate every Wed upon finding out if we would be shut down that week. I went week to week not knowing if I would have a job, so my point is that no matter our age, there were stresses being a parent. It's just such a tragedy that with the communication tools, this sort of thing has to happen.

I remember when my ex took me to court in the late 80's to reduce his child support, my Attorney, who was pregant with her 3rd or 4th child, showed up with one brown shoe and one navy shoe!! When she realized her mistake, she was mortified, but I never heard that she had left any of her kids in the car.

[Blondee178]

Originally Posted by Bella

Thanks for the link Blondee178, exactly what I wanted to know. However, I'm not exactly sure how child playing in unattended vehicle scenario would play out. Any thoughts?

No problem.

[Bella]

sweetneet, kroquet, yes, you're totally right. A parent thinks their child is playing outside or at a friends when in reality they've locked themselves in the car.

... and I'm convinced the highest numbers are the youngest because the littlest ones are usually sleeping. or new parents possibly?

[Bella]

Wow. Thanks again Blondee, just read that last article. I am surprised to read that on average convicted caregivers/nonparents serve less time than convicted parents. I guess I just assumed it'd be the opposite.

ETA.. I should say, I was surprised, but it makes sense that parents would be held to a higher standard legally making the punishment more severe.

[HauteMama]

Yes, deaths have occurred when children get into an unattended, unlocked car. Kids sometimes go into a car to hide for hide and seek or for some other, unknown, reason. But Hyperthermia can overtake a child pretty quickly, especially younger ones who aren't sure how the door handles work or if there are child-safety lock in the back which prevent the back doors from being opened from the inside. Children have died in as little as about 10 minutes on very hot days. That is why it is so important to either lock cars when they are unattended or have your child know to NEVER enter a car without an adult.

And I think it would be wise for any parent with a child in daycare to have that provider call if the child is not there and they have not received a call telling them in advance about the absence. If a daycare provider or babysitter called the cell phone and/or emergency contact numbers for each of these children, there would likely be fewer deaths. Of course, some children ARE left inside cars intentionally, usually because a parent thinks they will "only be gone a minute or two" and then they get sidetracked.

And I wonder what effect it has to have a seat backwards-facing instead of forward-facing? Yes, you cannot look into the rear-view mirror and see the baby's face, but you cannot miss the large seat in the backseat. Everytime you glance in the mirror, you are startled by the large mass in the backseat, or at least I was when I first had a child. It really isn't something easily forgotten, especially for a parent with a change in routine (taking the baby when they didn't normally, or using a vehicle where they didn't normally have the child). That seat strikes you everytime you glance back if you aren't used to it. I just can't grasp how so many people could "forget" or not notice. My dh, who didn't normally have the baby with him, said he was hyper aware of having the baby when he did because he didn't want to have the radio too loud and the seat jumped out at him all the time because he wasn't used to it being there. Add to that how I run through my routine over and over in my head when it changes so I don't forget something, and it becomes even more boggling (but maybe I am unusual).

[Panda1]

Parents these days are facing a harder life. Many times both parents have to work now and they are either 1) getting paid less these days or 2) the buying power of their money has gone down so they have to spend more for basic supplies.

I have sympathy for the parents but to be honest, I have never forgotten my dog was in the backseat even if he is quiet. For sure I would remember a child.

[habanerita]

Thanks for the Article......I agree completely with the two paragraphs below, and for sure, there was more than one situation of There but for the Grace of God go I, in raising my three kids and taking care of my 4 grandkids. Life has taught me never to think "there is no way I would do this or that, or that could never happen to me", only to irresponsible parents..........

[QUOTE=Blondee178;11393440]Interesting Article. I cut out most of it though b/c of how long it was. It touches on a lot of the earlier discussions.

"But no one thinks it's going to happen to them. I think people are lying if they say that there wasn't one situation in raising their child that, `There but for the grace of God go I.'"

"The value of the item is not only not relevant in these competing memory systems," says memory expert David Diamond. "But, in fact, we can be more complacent because we tell ourselves, 'There's no way I would forget my child.'"

[schadenfreude]

What a horrible incident, and while certainly it wasn't the parent's intent to cause the death of the child, such gross negligence should not go unpunished.

I, too, am shocked and kind of grossed out that she was pregnant again so quickly. Shouldn't that whole incident have been a big clue to the woman that she needed to re-evaluate her role as a mother?

I'm with Dallas on this one. People are just trying too hard to "have it all" - the career, the family, the ideal life. We are all just human, and I don't think anyone can truly handle all those pressures flawlessly. If you are that devoted to your career where you spend hardly any time with your kids, why bother to have them? Or vice versa, why would you pursue a career? For those who say women "have" to work to support a family... I don't buy it. If you can't afford them - don't have them. If you can't afford kids plus your mortgage/car payment/handbag habit, you give one or more of those up. It's all about choices.