Mother who forgot baby in car wants changes made to car seats

[sweetneet]

Originally Posted by kroquet

Well, I am certainly not being negative, I just feel that people should take responsibility for their actions. I truly feel for the parents that have lost a child, but it does not, IMO excuse the fact that they were incredibly irresponsible. I will say again that we have become a society filled with the sense of entitlement and the need to shift responsibilty elsewhere. What's next? Diapers with alarms when they need to be changed? At least we wouldn't have diaper rash.

exactly. i don't think it's "being negative" if you think that parents need to make their own children's safety a bigger priority these days.

i agree with dallas - i think a problem with a lot of people these days is that they "want to have it all" and they burden themselves with so much stress and other things that they tend to forget what's most important. nowadays people are so obsessed with making it to the gym 5x a week, heading this and that committee, making sure little johnny is in such and such violin lesson, planning little janey's first birthday party, perfecting this presentation, etc etc.. that they forget about the safety & well being of their own children. it's a sad trend that i think society needs to recognize before this tragic problem can be addressed.

[LV-PRADAfanatic]

i think its parents fault...

[merika]

Originally Posted by sweetneet

exactly. i don't think it's "being negative" if you think that parents need to make their own children's safety a bigger priority these days. i agree with dallas - i think a problem with a lot of people these days is that they "want to have it all" and they burden themselves with so much stress and other things that they tend to forget what's most important. nowadays people are so obsessed with making it to the gym 5x a week, heading this and that committee, making sure little johnny is in such and such violin lesson, planning little janey's first birthday party, perfecting this presentation, etc etc.. that they forget about the safety & well being of their own children. it's a sad trend that i think society needs to recognize before this tragic problem can be addressed.

I'm a parent and when I talk to other parents most of them don't want to "have it all". They're afraid for their jobs, they're afraid they won't have enough money to educate their kids or give them a good start in life; they're afraid they won't be able to pay their mortgages, they don't have health insurance and they worry about what'll happen if they or the kids get sick...if I ever talk to a parent now, they're afraid and they work their asses off just to make sure they have enough money to cover the necessities, they're tired, they're busy and they're stressed.

I have a friend who has to drive 2 hours to work each day because she lost her job and she couldn't find another close to home and they couldn't pay their bills; she leaves home at 4am every day and returns at 9pm. She forgets her handbag often, and I wouldn't be surprised if she forgot a kid, she's so hassled and busy.

It's easy to generalize and blame people for all kinds of perceived faults. Accidents always happened, they were just not so public. The media is much more prevalent - 10 years ago not everyone had access to the internet or such a vast variety of media, which is why everything that happens seems to happen more frequently. It's not that it didn't happen before, it's just that it was maybe local news, and nobody much knew about it.

[DiorDeVille]

Great post, habanerita. I agree.

Originally Posted by chag

Unfortunately the boy is in Texas, it's a wonder he didn't get the electric chair with the system there. He didn't deserve 100 years

Well, we don't know the details of the abuse either. It may have been violent, or the perpetrator may present more of a threat than we realize. The difference for me is that any punishment the mother in this case faces, the worst has already happened. She's lost her daughter. Plus, I would guess the chances of her repeating this are minimal, given her obvious pain and regret.

With the boy in Texas, presumably (a) his victim now faces decades of pain and recovery, and (b) because he doesn't know what he did wrong, he's likely to harm again. Putting him in an institution/prison will prevent another child from being hurt for life. Its harsh, but if he can't function in the real world, and it seems that his parents are unwilling to provide the necessary restrictions for him, this is what happens.

[kroquet]

Sweetneet - great post!! ITA.

Too much keeping up with the neighbors and running here and there, priorities get mixed up.

[Bella]

I'd be interested to know the statistics of parents who have done this..

Was the daily routine broken? Were things done different than usual that day?

[merika]

Originally Posted by Bella

I'd be interested to know the statistics of parents who have done this.. Was the daily routine broken? Were things done different than usual that day?

Most times the daily routine was broken, at least in the cases I've read.

[Blondee178]

Originally Posted by merika

I'm a parent and when I talk to other parents most of them don't want to "have it all". They're afraid for their jobs, they're afraid they won't have enough money to educate their kids or give them a good start in life; they're afraid they won't be able to pay their mortgages, they don't have health insurance and they worry about what'll happen if they or the kids get sick...if I ever talk to a parent now, they're afraid and they work their asses off just to make sure they have enough money to cover the necessities, they're tired, they're busy and they're stressed. I have a friend who has to drive 2 hours to work each day because she lost her job and she couldn't find another close to home and they couldn't pay their bills; she leaves home at 4am every day and returns at 9pm. She forgets her handbag often, and I wouldn't be surprised if she forgot a kid, she's so hassled and busy. It's easy to generalize and blame people for all kinds of perceived faults. Accidents always happened, they were just not so public. The media is much more prevalent - 10 years ago not everyone had access to the internet or such a vast variety of media, which is why everything that happens seems to happen more frequently. It's not that it didn't happen before, it's just that it was maybe local news, and nobody much knew about it.

Great Post.
Lucky are those that have the luxury of staying home and revolving their whole life around raising their children. Unfortunately for me & I'm sure many others, we don't have that option.

[sweetneet]

Originally Posted by Bella

I'd be interested to know the statistics of parents who have done this.. Was the daily routine broken? Were things done different than usual that day?

i'd like to know the statistics too. so far, from googling, things like this (children being forgotten in cars) started happening in the mid 90s.

imo a "change in routine" is really hard to define. some days i would have to be at work at 7:30 for an early meeting, other days i could stroll in at 9:00. somedays i'd have to bring a laptop in from home, other days i didn't. Some days i would have to park in the parking structure, other days i got to use surface parking. sometimes it was my turn to make the strabucks coffee /pastry run, sometimes other coworkers did it. i guess you could count all those things as a change in the daily routine. I think for most people it's the same thing...not every day is exactly the same, i think that's expected at most jobs.

[sweetneet]

Originally Posted by merika

I'm a parent and when I talk to other parents most of them don't want to "have it all". They're afraid for their jobs, they're afraid they won't have enough money to educate their kids or give them a good start in life; they're afraid they won't be able to pay their mortgages, they don't have health insurance and they worry about what'll happen if they or the kids get sick...if I ever talk to a parent now, they're afraid and they work their asses off just to make sure they have enough money to cover the necessities, they're tired, they're busy and they're stressed. I have a friend who has to drive 2 hours to work each day because she lost her job and she couldn't find another close to home and they couldn't pay their bills; she leaves home at 4am every day and returns at 9pm. She forgets her handbag often, and I wouldn't be surprised if she forgot a kid, she's so hassled and busy. It's easy to generalize and blame people for all kinds of perceived faults. Accidents always happened, they were just not so public. The media is much more prevalent - 10 years ago not everyone had access to the internet or such a vast variety of media, which is why everything that happens seems to happen more frequently. It's not that it didn't happen before, it's just that it was maybe local news, and nobody much knew about it.

yes, a lot of people are really struggling these days to make ends meet and are worried about putting food on the table-- but most of the parents who leave their kids in cars don't seem to fit this profile. the guy who left his daughter in the car in Houston was a researcher at Rice University. The parents of the baby that died at Langley Research center was a doctor and a researcher. Most don't sound like the type of parent who has to hold down 2 jobs, is on food stamps and who is one mortgage payment away from losing their house. So I guess I don't understand why the stress level is at such a point that it causes you to forget about your child for an entire day. Yes, everyone worries about losing their jobs & their financial stability (esp these days), but i think people need to realize that there are worse things that can happen, and they should be more concerned about that first and foremost.

[COACH ADDICT]

I believe that parents that do this should have the book throne at them... How does someone leave a child in a car all day...

Does she not think of her child during the day or even call the school to make sure they are ok...

I am very aware of where my child is, I know that there is a lot of stress in the world but that is just negligent...

[Bella]

Originally Posted by sweetneet

i'd like to know the statistics too. so far, from googling, things like this (children being forgotten in cars) started happening in the mid 90s. imo a "change in routine" is really hard to define. some days i would have to be at work at 7:30 for an early meeting, other days i could stroll in at 9:00. somedays i'd have to bring a laptop in from home, other days i didn't. Some days i would have to park in the parking structure, other days i got to use surface parking. sometimes it was my turn to make the strabucks coffee /pastry run, sometimes other coworkers did it. i guess you could count all those things as a change in the daily routine. I think for most people it's the same thing...not every day is exactly the same, i think that's expected at most jobs.

Haven't had time to look, but yes it is reported this really started happening when child safety seats were mandatory in the back and rear facing.

A change in routine in this case by my definition is not day to day differences. In many stories that I've read it is the parent who normally does not have the primary role with the child that forgets. One parent takes the child to daycare same time every morning, every weekday. The other parent, straight to work, same route, everyday. The routine. Going through the motions. Then there is a change and that's where it can go wrong.

[kroquet]

^^Bella, I agree with that scenario regarding the change in routine. On the other hand, though, you would think that the other parent would be MORE aware since it's out of the ordinary. The few times I have taken my GS to school or day care, I haven't forgotten him. Just sayin.....

[merika]

Originally Posted by sweetneet

yes, a lot of people are really struggling these days to make ends meet and are worried about putting food on the table-- but most of the parents who leave their kids in cars don't seem to fit this profile. the guy who left his daughter in the car in Houston was a researcher at Rice University. The parents of the baby that died at Langley Research center was a doctor and a researcher. Most don't sound like the type of parent who has to hold down 2 jobs, is on food stamps and who is one mortgage payment away from losing their house. So I guess I don't understand why the stress level is at such a point that it causes you to forget about your child for an entire day. Yes, everyone worries about losing their jobs & their financial stability (esp these days), but i think people need to realize that there are worse things that can happen, and they should be more concerned about that first and foremost.

Sure, but don't underestimate the stresses that researchers are under. Most research jobs at universities are not permanent jobs, you have to write proposals that fund you, funding agencies don't give you money and sometimes the pay is extremely paltry. How do I know? Because I'm one, and sometimes I have to work 80 hour weeks or I lose the funding that pays me, I lose my health insurance and I can't pay my rent. So I have to work, juggle my childcare, other appointments and life in general. Sometimes life is okay, sometimes it's horrid and stressful and I don't know if I'll get paid the following month.

Just because someone is a doctor or anyone else isn't a reason to dismiss them as not having stresses. Doctors have the stresses of malpractice suits, life and death decisions at the workplace, and yes some of them are worried about job security too.

[sweetneet]

i am across this recent article from texas a & m university:
http://www.extension.org/pages/Child...sk_in_Hot_Cars

Children At Risk in Hot Cars
Last Updated: June 15, 2009 Related resource areas: Parenting


Deaths are preventable when parents take precautions to make sure that children are not left alone in vehicles and cannot gain access to unlocked vehicles.
Released June 12, 2009

COLLEGE STATION, Texas -- With summer approaching, the danger of children dying from being left unattended in vehicles increases, a Texas AgriLife Extension Service specialist warns.

"The problem is that temperatures in parked vehicles rise very quickly," said Bev Kellner, AgriLife Extension passenger safety specialist.

In just 10 minutes the temperature can increase by almost 20 degrees, according to figures from San Francisco State University's department of geosciences.

A child’s body temperature rises three to five times faster than an adult making children more vulnerable to a deadly condition known as hyperthermia or heat stroke, Kellner noted. Heat stroke can occur at body temperatures above 104 degrees.

"Even mild outside temperatures can pose a threat, but with Texas temperatures climbing into the upper 90’s each day the danger becomes even greater," she said.

Janette Fennell, founder and president of the Kids And Cars program, reports that there have been six hyperthermia deaths nationally so far this year, but none have been in Texas.

In Texas last year, however, there were nine vehicle heat-related deaths. Nationally, there were 42, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

For the years 1998-2008, Texas leads the nation with the highest number of vehicle hyperthermia deaths – 52, Kellner said.

In more than half of the cases during that time period, the death was due to the child being ‘forgotten’ by the caregiver, she said. Such deaths are preventable when parents take precautions to make sure that children are not left alone in vehicles and cannot gain access to unlocked vehicles.

According to National Safe Kids, one-third of the heat-related deaths in 2000 were due to children becoming trapped in a vehicle they had crawled into.

"Currently, there are already some gadgets on the market to help prevent these needless tragedies," Kellner said.

Meanwhile, she noted, following these safety tips from the highway traffic safety administration can help caregivers reduce the risk of children being left unattended in hot vehicles:

-- Never leave infants or children in a parked vehicle, even if the windows are partially open.

-- Do not let children play in an unattended vehicle. Teach them that a vehicle is not a play area.

-- Make a habit of looking in the vehicle - front and back - before locking the door and walking away.

-- If you are dropping a child off at childcare, and normally it's your spouse or partner who drops them off, have your spouse or partner call you to make sure the drop went according to plan.

-- Ask your childcare provider to call you if your child does not show up for childcare.

-- Do things to remind yourself that a child is in the vehicle, such as writing yourself a note and putting the note where you will see it when you leave the vehicle; placing your purse, briefcase or something else you need in the back seat so that you will have to check the back seat when you leave the vehicle. Another reminder is to keep an object in the car seat, such as a stuffed toy. When the child is buckled in, place the object where the driver will notice it when he or she is leaving the vehicle.

-- Always lock vehicle doors and trunks, and keep keys out of children's reach.

-- If a child is missing, check the vehicle first, including the trunk.

-- If you see a child alone in a hot vehicle, call the police.

-- If a child is in distress due to heat, get them out as quickly as possible. Cool the child rapidly. Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.