Mother who forgot baby in car wants changes made to car seats

[chag]

Originally Posted by Megs

I really can't wrap my head around how someone could forget their child in their car. Forget them?! Yes, if that was truly accidentally that mother will live in pain FOREVER. A kind of pain I can not imagine and never want to imagine. It would be a horrible life that I would never want. I guess what people are saying though is that just because that will be painful for her - does it mean she should not have any other punishment. I really don't know. Her proposal sounds desperate to me. Should we have to let technology run our lives in a way that our car alerts us that there is a child in it because we can't even remember that?? I don't doubt that with time something like this will be developed, but shouldn't we all take more responsibility? Personally I find it sad that we have to try to say that technology should be there to remind us that a living, breathing, being is in the car. Could it be helpful to many, I suppose so (which I still find pretty sad), but I just feel like the responsibility is being taken away.

I'm not trying to take responsibility out of this but as another poster said they put in the rear view cameras because there were so many accidents with SUVs running over children accidentally I just think and it's only an opinion, then why can they not do something to avoid this from continuing? If this were me and I had the choice of having some type of alarm to alert me, a first time mother, I would have taken it for surely as my luck goes this sad situation would have turned out to be me.

[chag]

Originally Posted by nataliam1976

Oh LOL Im sorry we seem to be misunderstanding each other. Lest forget about prison, i agree with you on this one. I am asking because you said that no community service would be a good way to help them ( non parents), and before that you said that a punishment similar to what the mum from this thread got ( ie. community service) would be enough for non parents. So it just seems contradictory to me.

Sorry I didn't use punctuation. What I meant was "No, community service would be enough" I shouldn't have put in the no but it was agreeing with you that community service would be enough imo if it weren't the parent and it was truly accidental sorry if I've totally confused you now!

[chag]

And also I totally understand the law suit part of doing something like that but as merika pointed out do people who forget to fasten their seat belts sue the car maker?

[RaeBelle]

People often sue over faulty/defective (real or perceived) seat belts. If a sensor like Haley Wesley proposed malfunctioned or had a defect, there would be lawsuits.

[kroquet]

ITA Megs. I am just tired of society shifting responsibility elsewhere.

[chag]

Originally Posted by RaeBelle

People often sue over faulty/defective (real or perceived) seat belts. If a sensor like Haley Wesley proposed malfunctioned or had a defect, there would be lawsuits.

Yes, unfortunately it's the day and age we live in, lawsuits abound for the tiniest thing

[Megs]

Originally Posted by chag

I'm not trying to take responsibility out of this but as another poster said they put in the rear view cameras because there were so many accidents with SUVs running over children accidentally I just think and it's only an opinion, then why can they not do something to avoid this from continuing? If this were me and I had the choice of having some type of alarm to alert me, a first time mother, I would have taken it for surely as my luck goes this sad situation would have turned out to be me.

But even rear view cameras is very lazy for all of us - we get a false sense of security from that. I have on in one of our cars but I never "use" it. I am pretty anal about looking behind me and checking and double checking. And you better believe that if I had kids, was in a neighborhood with kids, that I would be the slowest and most annoying reverser checking and double checking and then re-checking.

I am not saying that technology is not good, that it could not be helpful, but I do think these 'contraptions' take the responsibility away from the people - who really need to own their actions and thoughts.

[BagAngel]

I just cannot imagine ever forgetting that I had my child in the car but I don't want to judge. Who knows if someone is troubled & their mind is elsewhere? I do agree that too much responsibility is put on third parties & many just don't make enough of an effort but heck the people who did this have to live with it! If it saves one kid then yes I would say put everything possible in place to allow prevent accidents.

[Bella]

Originally Posted by merika

Nat - I think you meant to say more forgivable, not less. I think when a death by murder or manslaughter occurs what people commonly and self-righteously call "justice" isn't really justice for the victim or the perpetrator. Face it, the victim is dead. The perpetrator, if the death was accidental, gets locked up for a period of time. What's the point? IF the death was not intended, and the person is not a serial killer what is the point in jailing a person for an length of time? There can be a lot more productive ways for a person to pay back society for such a mistake. In my opinion justice in such situations is more for the appeasement of the victim's family and society in general rather than a study of the effectiveness of the form of punishment for the perpetrator. That is why there is leniency towards parents...because of the assumption that the pain that will be directed towards someone else who killed their child will be directed toward themselves, if they were the accidental cause of the death. And to all the people who jump on the bandwagon saying someone should be locked up...what's the point of locking someone up unless they are a menace to society? Is it like a bigger version of a time-out or something, which is why everyone says it's fine?? If I were a mother and I accidentally killed my child, being locked up and solitary would be infinitely more preferable than having to go out in society, give talks to people and tell them "I killed my child and it was an accident".

I could not agree more Merika.

[Jahpson]

Originally Posted by chag

And also I totally understand the law suit part of doing something like that but as merika pointed out do people who forget to fasten their seat belts sue the car maker?

Ralph Nader

but this was before wearing seat belts were mandatory

[bagaholic85]

i understand its a tragic way to loose a child, but installing alarms on car seats seems a bit extreme.

my car actually has an interior motion detector that you have the ability to turn on or off. now, making that mandatory makes sense to me. it protects you from leaving a baby, pet, etc in the car, and it also protects you from someone sneaking in ur car and attacking u (the real reason the motion detector is in there).

[Roo]

Originally Posted by chag

My answer would be the same. I see no reason to waste tax payers money on prison when it could be put to better use in educating and preventitive measures. As I see it the only thing that person wants to do is keep it from happening to anyone else. The efforts should go on that direction IMO

So you would not want a day care provider who left your child in the car and the child died, to serve any jail time either?

[ocgirl]

Though I understand completely where Roo is coming from with the concerns for frivolous lawsuits. The too hot coffee and too heavy donut lawsuits still kill me, all these years later.

That said, I'm all for anything that would help with prevention. Modern technology has gone so far in helping make life easier on us. And this would be one more thing that could help prevent such major heartache. But then, I'm married to a DH with a nickname "Gadget Guy" among our circle. lol.

When we had our baby 3 years ago, I swear I had never been so tired in my life! I had a difficult pregnancy and couldn't sleep my last trimester, then the baby came and there was no such thing as sleep. Part of it was my fault since I was such a nervous mom that I'd sit up at night and watched him breathe to make sure he was ok. So by the time I had to go back to work when he turned 6 months, I was a basket case.

Technology really saved us. DH installed video camera in both his car and mine, so that even while driving, I can see the baby at all time. It has infrared, so I can see him even in the dark. (We did the same at home so we can see and hear the baby 24x7)). DH also installed rear cameras so we have a bird's eyeview before backing out, because we heard about all the driveway accidents. And for daycare, we chose a new daycare that had live streaming webcam, so I can see our baby all day long while I'm at work.

I'd like to think that I'm a good mom. I have never forgotten my son, since I'm typically speaking with him, watching him, or thinking about him, but I do think that all the gadgets that DH made available to me has really helped make it so much easier. Imagine that mother in the original article, if she had access to streaming video at her daycare and could see that her baby is not there, then she'd realize that she left her baby in her car.

[Panda1]

It's a shame babies can't be placed in the passenger seat. Is there any safe way of doing this with modifications? The mom would have noticed her baby for sure if she had been in the passenger seat.

[Blondee178]

Originally Posted by Roo

So you would not want a day care provider who left your child in the car and the child died, to serve any jail time either?

Queens baby dies after falling into mop bucket at day care center

Police were investigating the death of a Queens baby who perished Monday when he fell headfirst into a mop bucket at his baby-sitter's house.
James Farrior, who would have been 1 year old next month, was declared dead at Jamaica Hospital at 11:25 a.m.
"What can I say, he was my baby? We're trying to cope," said his devastated mom, Chrisann Josiah. "We don't know what happened yet."
It was not immediately clear if James drowned or broke his neck. An autopsy will be performed today.
"I saw the firefighters bring the boy out. He was gasping for air," said neighbor Billy Casares, 41. "It's heartbreaking."
Baby-sitter Kristal Khan, 28, who normally took care of two neighborhood kids along with her small son and daughter in an informal but legal day care arrangement, was charged with endangering the welfare of a child, a misdemeanor, police said.
Police sources said Khan told cops James and her two kids, ages 3 and 4, were in the living room with the bucket when she went to fetch a mop.
When she came back, she found James had fallen headfirst into the blue 7-gallon mop bucket that was three-quarters full of water.
Neighbor Liz Rivero, 31, a mother of three, said she began to pray when she saw a firefighter running Monday morning with the baby, limp and faceup, to an ambulance waiting a block away.
"I started to cry when I saw that. I am a mom," Rivero said.
Khan and a man neighbors said was her brother were taken away for questioning.
"They looked sad," Rivero said.
At Khan's green two-story house on 108th St. in South Richmond Hill, colorful stickers on the door advertise, "Childcare, All Day, Everyday."
The operation had no permits or license, but did not require any because there were fewer than three outside kids and the caregiver was older than 18.
Neighbors said Khan is well-known and well-regarded.
"She usually takes good care of the kids," said William Munoz, 40. "She's a very responsible person."
Khan's Web site says she is a married, convent-educated immigrant from Trinidad who taught elementary school for eight years and has a teacher certificate.
Because children can drown quickly and virtually silently in small amounts of water, drowning is the second leading cause of accidental death in children, after car crashes.

http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/...r__police.html