The Megan Meier Myspace suicide case *Update: Conviction overturned* see page 23

[Roo]

Originally Posted by Glamfoxx

TIt is however, the parents job to keep their kids off of MySpace.

So how do you feel about predatory pedophiles on myspace? Should myspace be a free-for-all with absolutely no monitoring or regulating at all? I guess what I don't understand is that if you read the article, the parents of this child WERE monitoring their child's use of myspace. What they were not prepared for is the fact that an adult would go to such lengths to stalk and harass their child.

The problem with myspace is that there are no checks and balances. There are no controls. I personally think myspace should not allow underage children on it AT ALL unless they are willing to take the steps that are necessary to make sure the environment is safe for them. It's clear they are not willing to do this. How many times does something bad need to happen before they take responsibility?

Case in point: here where I live, an 18 year old young man met an underage girl on myspace who lived in his area. It turns out they had mutual friends in the small town where they both lived. He invited her to a party and she snuck out of her parents house in order to go with him. They went to the party and on the way home (seemingly) from the party, he took her to a remote area, raped her, shot her and left her for dead. This young man had a myspace page in which he had detailed elaborate fantasies about raping and mutilating women. The page was reported to myspace numerous times. The media got wind of this and did a story on it. The reporter doing the story also reported the page. After two weeks the reporter got a canned reply from myspace that the page did not violate any terms of service. THEY ARE NOT DOING THEIR JOB at myspace and there is a reason. It's called MONEY.

Eventually they will have to answer to the lack of responsibility. I have a feeling at some point in the near future the government is going to get involved and they will have to answer to a Congressional committee about why they allow this behavior to go on under their noses.

[Speedy]

Excellent post Roo, but then, many of your posts ARE excellent!

Problem I see with MySpace is, yes, there are no checks and balances. They SAY people under 14 are not allowed, but there is no way to keep kids off of it. IMHO, Megan's mother did more than most parents to safeguard her child, Megan didn't have the password, her parents monitored it as carefully as they knew how, and they "thought" they knew all her "friends" on the pages. Just HOW were they to know "Josh" was in reality, the grown woman down the street?

I can't imagine the betrayal the parents of Megan and their surviving child felt at discovering "Josh" was their trusted neighbor. I seriously don't know how they managed to keep from hurting the woman, seriously it's natural instinct to lash out at the perpertrator of an action like this. I know. Sadly, I know how this feels when someone's selfish actions causes a child pain. It's overwheming, you can't think of anything else. You sleep, eat and think of nothing else BUT revenge. At least I got some satisfaction, the man who hurt my child ended up in prison for a time.

This was purely a horrible series of actions by people who could NOT foresee the end result of their actions. Would Megan still be alive if Ron had stopped her from running up to her room? Or if her mother had never allowed her the MySpace page at all? Or if the woman down the street had a few more brain cells and didn't do this at all? Or if the other "friend" who finally confessed she knew Josh wasn't a real person had said something sooner? No-one could have seen the end result of this... no-one.

I can imagine though, that all over the world, parents are checking their childs' online activities closer. If there is ANY good to come from this child's death, perhaps it's to know parents have been given a head's up about what COULD happen.

One more thing, I belong to an online group that checks sex offender's through websites such as the Megan's Law websites against others like MySpace and FaceBook. We've been instrumental in removing hundreds of Registered Sex Offenders from the networking sites. Sadly, something like this wouldn't be noticed by the groups who do monitor them.

[JAN!]

Originally Posted by Glamfoxx

MySpace is not evil, it is a tool. It is a tool that is not for children, in much the same way a chainsaw is a tool that is not for children. If somebody hits you with a hammer, do you blame the hammer? Parents need to ban their kids from using MySpace, it is not appropriate for children. People who use MySpace and other such public forums on the internet need to do so with an understanding that people online are often not who they claim to be. It is sick that an adult did this terrible thing which drove a girl to suicide, but much of the blame lies with the girl's parents for allowing their daughter on MySpace in the first place. Clearly this girl had some emotional problems, it is unfortunate that a depressed young girl had a mySpace account. I see some pretty effin stupid parents all around here.

That's what I was thinking. Well said.

[helium]

No matter how closely a parent supervises their child's online behaviour, unless they're standing behind the child every minute while she's online it's just not possible. You could yell and whine and ground her but you can't keep her off, literally, so all you do is make her think you're a horrible parent because 'all the other parents let their child' while she's still going on myspace, thinking you don't understand her 'only way of self expression.' The only way I can think of that you could keep them away from this is to keep them away from it all together. I mean all she has to do is type in 'myspace.com' while you're away and she's on again. And the minimise button does wonders for hiding windows behind windows yes?

No doubt Megan's parents supervised her child's internet use. I have no qualms with how they handled this, but i'm just saying it's virtually impossible to literally keep them off unless you stay in the room with them.

Also, once again i'm still not convinced it's myspace's fault though. Once again someone had said myspace is a tool, while I didn't understand that at first I understand it now. This is the adult's fault. I don't see why you'd blame myspace. If you don't like the way things are there, you keep your children off it. I mean if you don't like the way a brothel is you don't drop your kid off near it and then said 'you're not allowed to go in there' but walk off shopping. Where do you think your kid is right now? And suddenly will you blame the brothel for being there and not stopping your child from seeing what's inside? Maybe, you might jump up and down saying 'my child isn't 18! you should've restricted him!'. Considering that it's probably very busy, they probably didn't see her at first. I don't know if my analogy makes sense... my point is I don't think her parents handled this properly, but I definitely wouldn't blame them because they did handle it. And I don't think myspace is at fault, most parents who let their children on myspace don't even know what goes on there. In the end, it's just the adult that drove her to suicide's fault.

[water.mom]

that is so sad

[water.mom]

very sad

[Booga1003]

WOW im shocked. and scared for my kids ( whenever i have them ) This is a very cruel world with hateful people ( kids being bullys) my prayers go to her and her family/ Its really sad that something like that can happen and Being an ADULTS fault. Very sad story

[ladyjane76]

Isnt what this lady did a form of stalking? she would write her to keep her interested, she hunted her down she had intent. maybe not to kill her but to definately turn on her, and let her know she was a fat loser, what was she going to do keep this charade up forever.NO! The internet can be definately used as a mind game especially to someone young, impressionable and lonely. I know this is way out there but this woman like many other online predators are no different in my opinion than charles manson, people hide behind there computers cyber bullying, acting like they have balls of steel, posting pics they never feel,will and can be traced back to them why should they sit home free why that sicko's in jail rotting for the rest of his life for telling people to go doing something. Sure she didn't tell megan to kill herself, but she knew her history of depression. just like manson picked impressionable, lost people as well. he's paying. why not her. This is just my nut bag thought. I dont mean to sound like an extremist, because Im not I swear.

[x joie]

All the curse words in the world are spewing out of my mouth right now.

This is a disgusting story, and I am heartbroken for Megan and for her family. I can't say anything else without using a LOT of inappropriate words.

[Speedy]

LadyJane, you know, I would think it could be considered stalking... problem is, when one takes one's own life, the authorities really can't put the blame on someone else. No-one directly threatened Megan, and although she and the others knew Megan has self-esteem issues AND they also knew they were probably responsible for pushing her over the edge, there is still no laws to cover this. It's totally new ground.

[Glamfoxx]

Originally Posted by Roo

So how do you feel about predatory pedophiles on myspace? Should myspace be a free-for-all with absolutely no monitoring or regulating at all? I guess what I don't understand is that if you read the article, the parents of this child WERE monitoring their child's use of myspace. What they were not prepared for is the fact that an adult would go to such lengths to stalk and harass their child. The problem with myspace is that there are no checks and balances. There are no controls. I personally think myspace should not allow underage children on it AT ALL unless they are willing to take the steps that are necessary to make sure the environment is safe for them. It's clear they are not willing to do this. How many times does something bad need to happen before they take responsibility? Case in point: here where I live, an 18 year old young man met an underage girl on myspace who lived in his area. It turns out they had mutual friends in the small town where they both lived. He invited her to a party and she snuck out of her parents house in order to go with him. They went to the party and on the way home (seemingly) from the party, he took her to a remote area, raped her, shot her and left her for dead. This young man had a myspace page in which he had detailed elaborate fantasies about raping and mutilating women. The page was reported to myspace numerous times. The media got wind of this and did a story on it. The reporter doing the story also reported the page. After two weeks the reporter got a canned reply from myspace that the page did not violate any terms of service. THEY ARE NOT DOING THEIR JOB at myspace and there is a reason. It's called MONEY. Eventually they will have to answer to the lack of responsibility. I have a feeling at some point in the near future the government is going to get involved and they will have to answer to a Congressional committee about why they allow this behavior to go on under their noses.

Megan was 13 years old and should not have had a MySpace profile at all. It is not MySpace's or the government's job in any way to police the age limit of the peole who use the service, that is a responsibility of PARENTS ONLY. How do I feel about pedophiles on MySpace? How about the same way I feel about them everywhere else, they disgust me but I know that they are there.

[devoted]

Of course I feel hatred toward the mom who did this....But wouldn't it have been somehow different and more the responsibilty of this b**ch mom if Megan commited suicide AFTER knowing that Josh did not exist and that her former friend's mom was responsible for his profile?

Megan commited suicide after "Josh" posted bad things about her, she never knew he didn't really exist. She killed herself all because a boy said mean things to her, and if she didn't kill herself then she would have later on after finding out Josh wasn't real. She was much too fragile and should have never had access to a computer and especially not to myspace, I believe if she didn't commit suicide now, she would have after the first boy she dated dumped her, etc. Not at all shifting the blame from the mom.....she needs to be charged....Whether megan was too sensitive or not, this mom practically handed her a loaded gun.

[devoted]

to clarify previous post.

okay, if Megan ignored Josh and didn't care about the mean things he said.....but became depressed and commited suicide only after finding out the mom created his fake profile then it would be the full responsibilty of this mom and she'd have to be charged with manslaughter...at least.

Or does it even matter what Megan knew before she commited suicide? Just thinking about what kind of defense this mom's lawyer will come up with, if it ever goes to court.

[Speedy]

Originally Posted by devoted

Of course I feel hatred toward the mom who did this....But wouldn't it have been somehow different and more the responsibilty of this b**ch mom if Megan commited suicide AFTER knowing that Josh did not exist and that her former friend's mom was responsible for his profile? Megan commited suicide after "Josh" posted bad things about her, she never knew he didn't really exist. She killed herself all because a boy said mean things to her, and if she didn't kill herself then she would have later on after finding out Josh wasn't real. She was much too fragile and should have never had access to a computer and especially not to myspace, I believe if she didn't commit suicide now, she would have after the first boy she dated dumped her, etc. Not at all shifting the blame from the mom.....she needs to be charged....Whether megan was too sensitive or not, this mom practically handed her a loaded gun.

I see your point here, but parents just don't understand (if they hadn't been through it themselves) just how badly words DO hurt a child. I believe if Megan knew "Josh" wasn't real, she would have never committed suicide. Yes, her parents were wrong to let her have a MySpace page, however, some of the responsibility lies with the bi*** that created Josh too. She set it up to intentinally hurt this child. That was her only purpose in creating a cute young boy in the same town. I don't buy her story she was doing it to see if Megan was talking smack about her own child.

As I said before, no-one wins in this case. And now that the names of ALL involved are all over the Internet, it won't die with Megan.

[devoted]

Originally Posted by Speedy

I see your point here, but parents just don't understand (if they hadn't been through it themselves) just how badly words DO hurt a child. I believe if Megan knew "Josh" wasn't real, she would have never committed suicide. Yes, her parents were wrong to let her have a MySpace page, however, some of the responsibility lies with the bi*** that created Josh too.

I really doubt that, Megan commited suicide after a boy she never even met said something like "you're not a nice person and you're mean to your friends". IF she knew he never existed and that this mom had been laughing at her for all those months....
she would have commited suicide either way.