Another infant raped and murdered....

[Speedy]

Originally Posted by priiin

Well said, Speedy.

Thank you.

[dallas]

The slime ball already had a protection-from-abuse order against him. He had attacked his previous girlfriend and their child.

[Speedy]

Originally Posted by dallas

The slime ball already had a protection-from-abuse order against him. He had attacked his previous girlfriend and their child.

BUT, did the mother of THIS child know that? And if not, just how was she to find out? My neice's boyfriend also threatened his previous girlfriends, had been arrested for it, but Erin had no way of knwoing this.

As mentioned before, do you run background checks on everyone you date?

I cannot and will not condone hatred for the mother in this article. She's paid the ultimate price.

[priiin]

Originally Posted by Speedy

As mentioned before, do you run background checks on everyone you date? I cannot and will not condone hatred for the mother in this article. She's paid the ultimate price.

Yes, I couldn't agree more. She already lost the most important thing to her, it is not our place or right to point fingers and blame her. What could she have done? We all have bad judgment in many things, including guys.

Seriously, background checks??
Don't accuse her of being a bad mother because she didn't check out his criminal record. You wouldn't.

[dallas]

Speedy, I have no idea what she did or did not know about this "man". It is my hope that she didn't know that he was abusive/violent because if she did, she knowingly put her baby in harm's way and that is unforgivable... and the child has paid the ultimate price.

To answer your question about background checks: (My 'dating' days are well and truly over thank God) but no, I have never had a background check done...but I would never have left my children with a boyfriend either.

[IntlSet]

Originally Posted by Speedy

As mentioned before, do you run background checks on everyone you date? I cannot and will not condone hatred for the mother in this article. She's paid the ultimate price.

I do not run background checks on everyone I date. However, I date men with no hint of violent tendencies, ones who simply have their act together. I have yet to be duped. It doesn't take a background check to determine a person's character. I seriously challenge the notion that there are people who have committed truly heinous acts against others who did not exhibit some kind of prior disturbing behavior. My reading of the case is that she simply chose to ignore any signs: she's a single mother supporting a child on a waitress's salary. Undoubtedly those are difficult straits to find oneself in, and undoubtedly she was/is a desperate woman in desperate circumstances who chose to put up with a psychologically unbalanced or downright evil man.

I am in no way stating she deserved this: no mother deserves to have her child killed. However, to place the onus of responsibility entirely on someone else is crazy... yes, he killed the child, but she placed that child in a position where it was possible for him to do so. I can't recall the specifics at the moment, but I believe it was mentioned that he did have an abusive history. Surely this manifested itself in myriad ways throughout their relationship. For her to continue staying with a man like that is BEGGING for trouble. In this case, it ended in tragedy. I know that if I were in her shoes, I would jump off a cliff. It is an incident that is really bizarre, tragic and completely avoidable.

[IntlSet]

Originally Posted by priiin

Yes, I couldn't agree more. She already lost the most important thing to her, it is not our place or right to point fingers and blame her. What could she have done? We all have bad judgment in many things, including guys. Seriously, background checks?? Don't accuse her of being a bad mother because she didn't check out his criminal record. You wouldn't.

It's common sense that matters, not a criminal record. Is this man gainfully employed, does he have the respect of good people, does he treat myself and others with kindness, is he intelligent, is he compassionate, etc. If you can go through a relationship without finding out these simple facts, you must be brain-dead.

And no, I have not made any bad judgments with guys. Isn't it a little bizarre to say this is a case of "poor judgment?" Poor judgment is having the fifth cocktail or sleeping with your boss. "Poor judgment" seems a rather mild term to apply to a case in which someone dates a complete psychopath with a violent history that undoubtedly manifested itself in some way. So yes, we all have "bad judgment" but any instances of poor judgment on my part certainly haven't resulted in my child or any other child's death. The "we have all made mistakes" disclaimer is hardly applicable when a young child has been raped and killed at the hands of a man you were sharing a bed with.

[BagAngel]

Dear God! Can anyone trust anyone anymore? I don't usually agree with the death penalty but for this monster.........................!!!!

[Sina]

This makes me so sad I am in tears. Oh man, how can anyone do those things?

[MAGs]

:( Cases like this one makes me sick. I wish the bastard rots in hell! And I wish he gets raped in jail, too!

[Speedy]

History is full of homocidal maniacs who functioned quite well and normally until they made a mistake. Blamig the mother in this article is the same as blaming prostitutes who end up murdered because they didn't check out their johns like Jack the Ripper or Gary Ridgeway completley. Oh, you say their "occupation" put them at risk. Okay, how about Ted Bundy? He was a clean-cut college student, studying law and rubbing elbows with important politicions. He only raped and murdered something like 26 women, and even charmed his way into be allowed to use a courtroom library with only one guard outside watching him. He jumped out a two story window and went on to rape and kill a 12 year old.

Methinks in at leaset some of the folks here who blame the mother, they are allowing themselves to look at the "boyfriend" with a jaundiced eye because you already know what he's done. Or perhaps because he's black. I just find it highly difficult to believe that this mother had any, ANY idea what this man was capable of. How many children are sexually abused or injured in some way while in the hands of a trusted Uncle or even a paid day-care worker? Way more than you will ever realize, unless you've done some of the studies I have. Do we crucify the parents then too for their poor judgement? No.

No, none of us would hand over our child to a Gary Ridgeway or a Ted Bundy NOW. But until we are allowed to tatoo "He's a rapist" or "He beats women" on their foreheads, we take chances in any and ALL relationships we become involved in.

[Bella]

Originally Posted by Speedy

History is full of homocidal maniacs who functioned quite well and normally until they made a mistake. Blamig the mother in this article is the same as blaming prostitutes who end up murdered because they didn't check out their johns like Jack the Ripper or Gary Ridgeway completley. Oh, you say their "occupation" put them at risk. Okay, how about Ted Bundy? He was a clean-cut college student, studying law and rubbing elbows with important politicions. He only raped and murdered something like 26 women, and even charmed his way into be allowed to use a courtroom library with only one guard outside watching him. He jumped out a two story window and went on to rape and kill a 12 year old. Methinks in at leaset some of the folks here who blame the mother, they are allowing themselves to look at the "boyfriend" with a jaundiced eye because you already know what he's done. Or perhaps because he's black. I just find it highly difficult to believe that this mother had any, ANY idea what this man was capable of. How many children are sexually abused or injured in some way while in the hands of a trusted Uncle or even a paid day-care worker? Way more than you will ever realize, unless you've done some of the studies I have. Do we crucify the parents then too for their poor judgement? No. No, none of us would hand over our child to a Gary Ridgeway or a Ted Bundy NOW. But until we are allowed to tatoo "He's a rapist" or "He beats women" on their foreheads, we take chances in any and ALL relationships we become involved in.

I was with you speedy, until this post............

Everyone here has valid points. I hope this mother did not know anything. BUT, there are way too many women out there who choose to date a man like this, knowing full well their violent history.

I have the most sympathy for anyone who loses a loved one to violence. However, I will NEVER understand how any woman can say, "He hit me, but I never thought he would hurt the children".

Am I the only one that would never date a man capable of hitting me?......and IF he did, the first time would certainly be the last.

[Bella]

Originally Posted by BellaFiore

: Am I the only one that would never date a man capable of hitting me?......and IF he did, the first time would certainly be the last.

I want to clarify, I know there is always a first time.......my point being, if I made a mistake in character judgement and a man I dated hit me, there would be no second time. Period. I would be gone. Too many women have a second, third, fourth......

[Speedy]

Originally Posted by BellaFiore

I was with you speedy, until this post............ Everyone here has valid points. I hope this mother did not know anything. BUT, there are way too many women out there who choose to date a man like this, knowing full well their violent history. I have the most sympathy for anyone who loses a loved one to violence. However, I will NEVER understand how any woman can say, "He hit me, but I never thought he would hurt the children". Am I the only one that would never date a man capable of hitting me?......and IF he did, the first time would certainly be the last.

I guess one doesn't understand, unless they've been there. My niece did everything RIGHT to get away from her abuser... and he didn't start abusing her until she was pregnant with his son. By then, he had her. She left him shortly after he was born, but the courts kept allowing unsupervised visits with his son. Even, as I've said before, having the courts threaten to jail us, her family, if we didn't tell them where she was. IT DIDN'T MATTER WHAT HE'D DONE BEFORE, THE COURTS MADE HER INTERACT WITH HIM. He knew how to play the game. And his family believed his lies and hired him fancy lawyers until he ran them out of money. His aunt lost her house because he'd fire the attorneys she'd hired. By all accouunts, he was a great father... on the surface. Even his own court appointed attorney said he was just a man who couldn't control his rage really well, downplaying the fact he was responsible.

Again, until it happens to you (and I PRAY TO THE GODS IT NEVER EVER DOES!) you cannot say what goes on in the mind and heart of the victims.

The courts and newspapers are full of simular stories of women like this one and my niece. No-one goes into a relationship asking for a DNA sample, the name of your probabtion officer or the 75.00 one needs to check for a criminal record online. Perhaps we all should start. I DO know that incidents like this, where the victim and perpetrator are both Black that media and regular people tend to not look at it clearly as if the child or mother was white. Think about it. Twice as many children of color end up abused or dead, but all we hear about over and over on the news is about White children and White Women.

Watch just two weeks of some tabloid news program like Nancy Grace or Greta Van Sustern... victims are almost ALWAYS white. It's not fair, but it's true. Or, if they are Black/African American, they will be sports stars, actors or someone else notable. This case hasn't made Nancy Grace yet, but the Doctor who performed plastic surgery on Kayne West's Momma made Larry King (as much as could be said to appear, he made a little self-serving speech and left.) Nowadays the only time victims of an ethinic group gets press is if the perp is white.

[chanelbaby]

What is wrong with people these days?