TTC after miscarriage?

Faith · Sep 4th, 2008, 06:31 PM

Anyone been there? TTC can be so stressful to begin with, this adds a whole new dimension to it!

jenniletv · Sep 4th, 2008, 07:50 PM

I do know there are several girls who have been through this and from other's experiences, yes it can add more stress to it. Do the Dr's know why you miscaried? Just try to relax and take your time. Do not feel like you have to jump right back on the horse immediately. If you feel you need a break from TTC, then take it.

fashion16 · Sep 4th, 2008, 07:59 PM

Faith-I totally know what you are going through. DH and I decided to start trying in May 07. We didn't get pregnant until December 2007 (7 months later) and at 8 weeks, I lost the pregnancy. I have read some of your other posts and I feel your pain. After my miscarriage I wasn't depressed, I was angry. After 2 months, we started trying again. This is not something I am proud of but a big part of me wanted to get pregnant right away thinking it would fill the void that was left from the m/c. Anyway, I had my m/c in February 08 and I got pregnant again in late June/early July 08 (about 5 months later). I am now 10 weeks pregnant again and I am still very nervous but I try not to think about it.

It is very stressful and there are times it has gotten the best of me. This is the advice I would give anyone in a similar situation.

1. Allow yourself to heal before trying again. I know if I would have gotten pregnant again right away, I wouldn't have been able to deal with the emotional issues that comes w/ a pregnancy after a miscarriage that soon.

2. Find a doctor you trust and that will hold your hand. There are times you may not need it but when you do, it will make all the difference. I do not have this now unfortunately but I will the next time around.

3. If you have not already done so, do as much research as you can about miscarriage. I blamed myself for working too much, too much stress, drinking those diet cokes before I knew I was pregnant etc and the fact is that most miscarriages are unpreventable and therefore not worth worrying about.

Take care of yourself and take your time.

illinirdhd · Sep 4th, 2008, 08:24 PM

Sending lots of good thoughts (and baby dust) your way, Faith!

BearyT · Sep 4th, 2008, 09:04 PM

Faith- I had a MC in May 08 and I was only 6wks. I am now back to TTC again. We started TTC again last month and this is our second month of trying. Fashion16 made some great points here esp the doctor part, I also had some bad experience with the first OB. I can't stand how he treated me when I was going through my tough times. Anyways, I found a great OB that will listen to my needs now. I am pretty sure I will go back to him again when I get pregnant. OB suggested me to wait for 2 normal cycles before we can start again. Its a bad experience that we have to go through but I made good use of that 2 months as self reflection months. I read some reviews that you can actually start again right away but I rather took my time and listen to my doctor and waited for that 2 months. During that 2 months of not trying, I try to regain my strength, cry as much as I want, shopping spree to make myself happy, eat healthy so I can recovered soon and talk it out with DH whenever I feel down. I give myself a 2 month mark, after that 2 month mark, there goes the whole new cycle and we start TTC again! Cheer up, we'll be here for you! Take good cares of yourself now :)

meluv2shop12 · Sep 5th, 2008, 01:11 AM

i'm on the same boat... dh and i got pregnant in feb 2008.. i miscarried in April 2008... that was the most painful (emotionally and psychologically), depressing time of my life...

we saw multiple doctors and got the same answer - "it's not your fault or anything you did... these things are actually very common... it's your body's way of disposing of something that wasn't going anywhere anyway..." it was very hard to accept at first... but time can heal all wounds..

my dr recommended that we wait to ttc after 2-3 cycles.. so we did.. now we're trying again...

take care and good luck to you and your dh... *sprinkles TONS of baby dust*

pinkdot · Sep 5th, 2008, 02:40 PM

I'm also floating in the same boat. got preg. April 2008 m/c 6/2008 and now after almost 3 months TTC again.

Faith · Sep 5th, 2008, 06:44 PM

Thank you ladies for your replies. I am waiting for my first AF after my D&C and still trying to decide whether I should wait a few months before actively TTC once again. I think I may let just let whatever happen for a few months before I start using my OPK's, paying attention to my fertile days, etc.

I have 2 wonderful doctors in my practice, I would prefer not to see the third doctor b/c of the way that she treated me at the hospital during my D&C. (I asked for a second opinion sono before the D&C b/c it was such a final procedure and I wanted to make sure there was definitely no heartbeat- when they told me the heart stopped it was literally a 35 second sono. It all happened so fast. She told me that it would push the rest of her surgeries back for the day if I had another sono. Can you believe that??)

It's just so difficult to start over again, you know? I have 2 girls that I work with that have the same due date that I did. It's so hard to see them everyday.

BearyT · Sep 5th, 2008, 07:04 PM

Faith- I know what you mean. I have a co worker who just happened to be pregnant after 2 weeks of my MC. I see her everyday and its really hard, my heart sore but I take it little at a time. Sometimes I will think if I still have the baby, I'll be a month ahead of hers. Anyways, time will cure. I see her everyday and now I see a baby bump on her tummy already and its a baby girl! I am very happy for her now. Don't worry the uneasy feeling will go. Hang in there! Relax and recover soon!

fashion16 · Sep 6th, 2008, 10:16 AM

Faith- I understand exactly what you are going through. There was a girl in my office who's due date was 3 weeks before mine. After my m/c, every time I would see her becoming more and more visably pregnant, I would think about how I would look at that stage. My previous due date is in 1 week and though I thought it would be really hard, it isn't that bad. I have the fortune of being pregnant again so I can replace those painful memories with positive, hopeful ones.
Chances are you will become pregnant again before your previous due date and you will have something exciting to look forward to. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk.

Faith · Sep 6th, 2008, 10:57 AM

BearyT and fashion16, I'm glad you can relate! It's just so hard b/c I'm a teacher, so school started a week ago and everyone is congratulating them, etc. I'm happy for them but sad for me! One girl I'm really close with and we talked about it, and she doesn't talk about her pregnancy with me really b/c she knows I need time. It's just hard to hear her complain nonstop about being pregnant when I'd trade places with her in a minute!

katy 1368 · Nov 19th, 2008, 05:02 PM

Faith - it is difficult but you will get there. After my m/c I made myself wait 3 cycles so that my body could heal and I really think it was a good thing now because the m/c took a lot out of me and I needed healing time. It then only took me 2 cycles to get pregnant again and now I have a baby daughter. When you get pregnant again try not to worry - I worried every day of ny second pregnancy and really wish I hadn't now - it is so difficult not to tho! I also truly think that having been pregnant made it quicker and easier second time as it took me a year of trying first time. It's like having managed to concieve once affected my hormones to make it easier the second time round you know? hopefully it will be the same for you.

Also I had acupuncture and swear that helped too, I personally found it very healing and i'm not usually into all that alternative stuff being in the medical field myself.

Good luck!

Faith · Nov 20th, 2008, 06:16 PM

Thanks for the well wishes katy!

I just saw that this thread was bumped and thought I'd update. It took almost 6 weeks to get AF after my D&C. Once she showed, it was so irregular and sporadic that I decided to wait until it was a bit more regular and easier to track with the OPK's. This was my first cycle trying again and I'm in the dreaded 2WW.

Taking a three month break was actually good for me- my grandmother unexpectedly passed away about three weeks after my D&C, and that's been so hard as well. I've been trying to heal and get to a better emotional place.

Please cross your fingers and send baby dust my way!!

BearyT · Nov 20th, 2008, 06:23 PM

Faith- glad to hear that you're doing fine! Baby dust to you :)

wasabipea · Nov 20th, 2008, 06:30 PM

happy thoughts and baby dust sending your way Faith.

Sep 4th, 2008, 06:31 PM	#1
Faith He makes me smile! Location: Long Island	TTC after miscarriage? Anyone been there? TTC can be so stressful to begin with, this adds a whole new dimension to it!

Sep 4th, 2008, 07:50 PM	#2
jenniletv In Minkie Land!! Location: Middle of Hokie Nation!	I do know there are several girls who have been through this and from other's experiences, yes it can add more stress to it. Do the Dr's know why you miscaried? Just try to relax and take your time. Do not feel like you have to jump right back on the horse immediately. If you feel you need a break from TTC, then take it. __________________ Wishlist: RM Devote in Black - Preorderd!! RM K&U in any color RM MAC in ...color undecided RM MAB Luxe - PM if you find one for a great deal!! Come see my RM Collection: here

Sep 4th, 2008, 08:24 PM	#4
illinirdhd Sofa King Hooked Location: Las Vegas, NV	Sending lots of good thoughts (and baby dust) your way, Faith! __________________

Sep 4th, 2008, 09:04 PM	#5
BearyT Member	Faith- I had a MC in May 08 and I was only 6wks. I am now back to TTC again. We started TTC again last month and this is our second month of trying. Fashion16 made some great points here esp the doctor part, I also had some bad experience with the first OB. I can't stand how he treated me when I was going through my tough times. Anyways, I found a great OB that will listen to my needs now. I am pretty sure I will go back to him again when I get pregnant. OB suggested me to wait for 2 normal cycles before we can start again. Its a bad experience that we have to go through but I made good use of that 2 months as self reflection months. I read some reviews that you can actually start again right away but I rather took my time and listen to my doctor and waited for that 2 months. During that 2 months of not trying, I try to regain my strength, cry as much as I want, shopping spree to make myself happy, eat healthy so I can recovered soon and talk it out with DH whenever I feel down. I give myself a 2 month mark, after that 2 month mark, there goes the whole new cycle and we start TTC again! Cheer up, we'll be here for you! Take good cares of yourself now :) __________________

Sep 5th, 2008, 02:40 PM	#7
pinkdot on cloud 9	I'm also floating in the same boat. got preg. April 2008 m/c 6/2008 and now after almost 3 months TTC again. __________________

Sep 4th, 2008, 07:59 PM	#3
fashion16 Member	Faith-I totally know what you are going through. DH and I decided to start trying in May 07. We didn't get pregnant until December 2007 (7 months later) and at 8 weeks, I lost the pregnancy. I have read some of your other posts and I feel your pain. After my miscarriage I wasn't depressed, I was angry. After 2 months, we started trying again. This is not something I am proud of but a big part of me wanted to get pregnant right away thinking it would fill the void that was left from the m/c. Anyway, I had my m/c in February 08 and I got pregnant again in late June/early July 08 (about 5 months later). I am now 10 weeks pregnant again and I am still very nervous but I try not to think about it. It is very stressful and there are times it has gotten the best of me. This is the advice I would give anyone in a similar situation. 1. Allow yourself to heal before trying again. I know if I would have gotten pregnant again right away, I wouldn't have been able to deal with the emotional issues that comes w/ a pregnancy after a miscarriage that soon. 2. Find a doctor you trust and that will hold your hand. There are times you may not need it but when you do, it will make all the difference. I do not have this now unfortunately but I will the next time around. 3. If you have not already done so, do as much research as you can about miscarriage. I blamed myself for working too much, too much stress, drinking those diet cokes before I knew I was pregnant etc and the fact is that most miscarriages are unpreventable and therefore not worth worrying about. Take care of yourself and take your time.

Sep 5th, 2008, 01:11 AM	#6
meluv2shop12 Member Location: la la land	i'm on the same boat... dh and i got pregnant in feb 2008.. i miscarried in April 2008... that was the most painful (emotionally and psychologically), depressing time of my life... we saw multiple doctors and got the same answer - "it's not your fault or anything you did... these things are actually very common... it's your body's way of disposing of something that wasn't going anywhere anyway..." it was very hard to accept at first... but time can heal all wounds.. my dr recommended that we wait to ttc after 2-3 cycles.. so we did.. now we're trying again... take care and good luck to you and your dh... sprinkles TONS of baby dust

Sep 5th, 2008, 06:44 PM	#8
Faith He makes me smile! Location: Long Island	Thank you ladies for your replies. I am waiting for my first AF after my D&C and still trying to decide whether I should wait a few months before actively TTC once again. I think I may let just let whatever happen for a few months before I start using my OPK's, paying attention to my fertile days, etc. I have 2 wonderful doctors in my practice, I would prefer not to see the third doctor b/c of the way that she treated me at the hospital during my D&C. (I asked for a second opinion sono before the D&C b/c it was such a final procedure and I wanted to make sure there was definitely no heartbeat- when they told me the heart stopped it was literally a 35 second sono. It all happened so fast. She told me that it would push the rest of her surgeries back for the day if I had another sono. Can you believe that??) It's just so difficult to start over again, you know? I have 2 girls that I work with that have the same due date that I did. It's so hard to see them everyday.

Sep 5th, 2008, 07:04 PM	#9
BearyT Member	Faith- I know what you mean. I have a co worker who just happened to be pregnant after 2 weeks of my MC. I see her everyday and its really hard, my heart sore but I take it little at a time. Sometimes I will think if I still have the baby, I'll be a month ahead of hers. Anyways, time will cure. I see her everyday and now I see a baby bump on her tummy already and its a baby girl! I am very happy for her now. Don't worry the uneasy feeling will go. Hang in there! Relax and recover soon! __________________

Sep 6th, 2008, 10:16 AM	#10
fashion16 Member	Faith- I understand exactly what you are going through. There was a girl in my office who's due date was 3 weeks before mine. After my m/c, every time I would see her becoming more and more visably pregnant, I would think about how I would look at that stage. My previous due date is in 1 week and though I thought it would be really hard, it isn't that bad. I have the fortune of being pregnant again so I can replace those painful memories with positive, hopeful ones. Chances are you will become pregnant again before your previous due date and you will have something exciting to look forward to. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk.

Sep 6th, 2008, 10:57 AM	#11
Faith He makes me smile! Location: Long Island	BearyT and fashion16, I'm glad you can relate! It's just so hard b/c I'm a teacher, so school started a week ago and everyone is congratulating them, etc. I'm happy for them but sad for me! One girl I'm really close with and we talked about it, and she doesn't talk about her pregnancy with me really b/c she knows I need time. It's just hard to hear her complain nonstop about being pregnant when I'd trade places with her in a minute!

Nov 19th, 2008, 05:02 PM	#12
katy 1368 Member	Faith - it is difficult but you will get there. After my m/c I made myself wait 3 cycles so that my body could heal and I really think it was a good thing now because the m/c took a lot out of me and I needed healing time. It then only took me 2 cycles to get pregnant again and now I have a baby daughter. When you get pregnant again try not to worry - I worried every day of ny second pregnancy and really wish I hadn't now - it is so difficult not to tho! I also truly think that having been pregnant made it quicker and easier second time as it took me a year of trying first time. It's like having managed to concieve once affected my hormones to make it easier the second time round you know? hopefully it will be the same for you. Also I had acupuncture and swear that helped too, I personally found it very healing and i'm not usually into all that alternative stuff being in the medical field myself. Good luck!

Nov 20th, 2008, 06:16 PM	#13
Faith He makes me smile! Location: Long Island	Thanks for the well wishes katy! I just saw that this thread was bumped and thought I'd update. It took almost 6 weeks to get AF after my D&C. Once she showed, it was so irregular and sporadic that I decided to wait until it was a bit more regular and easier to track with the OPK's. This was my first cycle trying again and I'm in the dreaded 2WW. Taking a three month break was actually good for me- my grandmother unexpectedly passed away about three weeks after my D&C, and that's been so hard as well. I've been trying to heal and get to a better emotional place. Please cross your fingers and send baby dust my way!!

Nov 20th, 2008, 06:23 PM	#14
BearyT Member	Faith- glad to hear that you're doing fine! Baby dust to you :) __________________

Nov 20th, 2008, 06:30 PM	#15
wasabipea Member	happy thoughts and baby dust sending your way Faith.