[meluv2shop12]

Hello my tpf family!

I was just wondering if you can give some input.. about 4 months ago, i had a miscarriage after 8 weeks and went though a D&C procedure.. Now DH and I are ready to try again...

My question is, will it be considered a high risk pregnancy this time around?

My second question is.. While we were going through the whole miscarriage, DH and I went to several doctors to get multiple feedback on whether the pregnancy would continue... We went to 4 doctors - 3 males and 1 female... the male doctors, i have to say were very gentle. the female doctor, not so much...

do you have a gender preference when it comes to you OBGYNs?

[wasabipea]

Hey there Meluv2shop12. Here's my answer to question number 2.

Thus far i've only had male OBGYN's. However, My current MD, an Internist, is a female and I love her. I guess it depends on their bedside manner. When the time comes to choose an OBGYN, I guess I'd go with someone years experience and is a fantastic communicator. I'm sure my insurance will appreciate my shopping around.

[fashion16]

Meluv2shop12- One miscarriage does not equate to high risk. The doctors will tell you that you aren't considered high risk until the third consecutive m/c. I know....3!!!! I had a m/c in February and we are pregnant again...about 9 weeks along. I was so angry when I got pregnant again b/c I would call my dr. when things would concern me (I would wake up w/out morning sickness, I had a healthy appetite etc) and no one would listen to me b/c I wasn't "high risk" yet. It just seemed irresponsible to allow a woman to m/c 3 times before the doctors take notice. Anyway, things are going great this time around and I am sick as a dog but couldn't be happier. I have my first ultrasound in 3 days & will hopefully hear a heartbeat. Everyone in the world can tell you that a first m/c doesn't always mean that there will be more nothing will put you at ease more than just living through it yourself.

As for Question #2, I have a male doctor. His bedside manner is very poor but he is a very good dr. He knows his stuff and I trust him....though I wish he was more of a "hand holder". I can't speak to the gender of doctors but I think you need to decide what is important to you and find a doctor with those attributes.

[BearyT]

My doctor told me the same thing, just like fashion16 has said, if you have 3 or more miscarriage, then it consider as high risk. Indeed, OB emphasized many times that there are lot more MC than you thought, almost 1 in every 3 pregnancies.

About your OB doctor, I've always think a female one will at least get to know more but I think I was wrong. I've picked a famous doctor during my MC and he's a guy. Although he was that famous around my area, I don't think he's a doctor that will suit me. I need a doctor that explains my questions and concerns in a normal way but not in a hurry way. All he did before was asking me to go to ER and I really don't appreciate the way he did things. So, after the MC, I found another doctor and he is exactly the type that I need. He explains to me what I'm seeing on the ultrasound, tell me what actually happened during my MC and answered all my questions without giving me pressure that he has another patient waiting. Female or Male? I think it doesn't matter, you just need to find one that listens to you and care for you. Good luck hehe

[HauteMama]

Almost everyone TTC has a miscarriage; with most people it happens early enough that they never realize it. Unless they were able to pinpoint a specific reason for your miscarriage, you will not be considered high risk. And like the pp said, they generally don't even try to pin down a reason for a miscarriage unless you have experienced at least 3 consecutively.

Regarding an OB, it depends on how you feel about the person and not so much the gender. Like you said, some male OBs can be very gentle and have a great bedside manner, while others are not. The same is true for female Dr.s. I felt most comfortable with my female dr. but I had a male dr. with my last (high-risk) pg and I loved him, too. I wouldn't hesitate to see either of them again if I were pg. It is all about the individual.

[Nola]

I´m sorry about your miscarriage. You are in no more of a risk than any other woman. It´s considered high risk when you have 3 miscarriages in a row. I persoanlly prefer a woman to be my doctor.

[Korilynn]

So Sorry about your previous M/C!

Have you thought about seeing a Midwife instead of an OB/GYN? I have been seeing a CN/Midwife and I feel more comfortable than I usually do with a DR. But, I'm sure that depends a lot on the person you see...I actually haven't seen a Dr. yet, and I am considered high risk because of borderline High Blood pressure. The midwife I see delivered my friend's baby, and I was lucky enough to be present during her delivery, so I got to see her "in action."
Baby Dust to you!

[meluv2shop12]

Originally Posted by fashion16

Meluv2shop12- One miscarriage does not equate to high risk. The doctors will tell you that you aren't considered high risk until the third consecutive m/c. I know....3!!!! I had a m/c in February and we are pregnant again...about 9 weeks along. I was so angry when I got pregnant again b/c I would call my dr. when things would concern me (I would wake up w/out morning sickness, I had a healthy appetite etc) and no one would listen to me b/c I wasn't "high risk" yet. It just seemed irresponsible to allow a woman to m/c 3 times before the doctors take notice. Anyway, things are going great this time around and I am sick as a dog but couldn't be happier. I have my first ultrasound in 3 days & will hopefully hear a heartbeat. Everyone in the world can tell you that a first m/c doesn't always mean that there will be more nothing will put you at ease more than just living through it yourself.

As for Question #2, I have a male doctor. His bedside manner is very poor but he is a very good dr. He knows his stuff and I trust him....though I wish he was more of a "hand holder". I can't speak to the gender of doctors but I think you need to decide what is important to you and find a doctor with those attributes.

my feelings exactly!!! dh and i were very devastated after the MC.. took me weeks to get back to work or even get out of bed! like you said, i think i'd be exstatic when i start having MS. i didn't have it at all first time around so i think i'd be looking forward to all types of symptoms imaginable!

that was the thing about my female dr. she had the most experience but her bedside manners were poor. when dh and i broke down in tears after hearing the news she kinda scolded us - saying it's not at all uncommon, blah blah blah... come to think of it, i think she mostly panicked when we both started crying.. i guess we really just wanted to have a baby soooooooo badly :( other than that, i think, i trust her the most...

[meluv2shop12]

just to back track on my comment.. my 2nd question was not intended to be sexist at all. i guess i was wondering about your experience with how a male or female obgyn would "handle" you. i guess i was surprised that my first female obgyn wasn't very gentle considering she should know what it feels like coz she goes through the exact same process...

[pinkdot]

I just went through a M/C too and now i'm ready to TTC again.

My experience with a female OB/GYN was not good. She didn't pay attention to me as much as she should have been. And when i was in the ER for the M/C she behaved very rudely to me, basically told me to get another OB/GYN cuz i was getting a D&C surgery done instead of taking a medicine to clean my system out.

Anywho, a Male doctor came to my rescue and became my OB/GYN (thank god my insurance covered him). He has very good bedside manners. He even got all of my reports from my previous doctor and went over everything in great detail so he can figure out if anything stood out for what had caused the M/C. He's very experienced which makes me feel very comfortable.

[Faith]

I miscarried last week at 11 weeks. My doctor also told me that I would not be high risk until a third miscarriage. I personally cannot imagine going through this much stress and pain 2 more times before a Dr. pays special attention. It's a difficult thing!

[pinkdot]

Seriously..i cant even imagine going through it 2 more times..the first time was HARD enough. I'm still not over it.