Ivf

tabbyco · Apr 23rd, 2008, 11:54 AM

Well, I've managed to dry the tears just long enough so that I can see the keyboard. I called my RE to get a copy of the results from my DH's morphology test (Seman Analysis) and a NP called me back. She was going over the results and says "When we see morphology THIS low, IVF really the only option." Then goes on to tell me, "but it can happened with IUI and it does occasionally happen naturally, however there is better success with IVF."

Now I don't know if it was the WAY she said it, but I just broke down (barely had enough time to close my office door). I am trying to take it with a grain of salt, b/c she is not my Dr., but I feel devestated. I know that IVF is better than no options, but this is so hard to take.

The thought of not naturally conceiving didn't bother me until it became a reality. The thought of multiples didn't seem scary until considering the high probability with IVF. The cost seemed inconsequential, until it was my money. The prospect of it not working the first time always offered hope for the next time, unless it happens to me.

I feel like some stupid little NP has killed my dream and the little mental picture of me peeing on a stick in my bathroom and jumping for joy with my husband and replaced it with a picture of twenty people standing in a room injecting cold sterile syringes in my body.

I just need time to grieve the death of my idealic little future. I'll get back up, dust myself off and find out everything I need to know about IVF, and slowly get used to the idea that things aren't as I would have wanted them to be, but there is always hope.

VT Pooh · Apr 23rd, 2008, 01:16 PM

tabbyco,

I am crying as reading your post.

Be strong. I know it is not easy.

My friend's sisters went through the whole process for all of their children. One has two girls and one has 2 boys and a girl. They proudly talked about how they have their kids all the time. You won't care how you make the baby once the baby arrives.

You can still pee on the stick to find out if you are pregnant or not even you are doing IVF or IUF.

Please don't overworry. Try to clam down and decide what you & your husband want to do. Did you check with your insurance company yet? I checked in the past and found out IVF has to be covered by insuarnce in Massachuetts. It was required by law.

I am always here to hear.

VT Pooh

BagHound · Apr 23rd, 2008, 01:22 PM

Saying a prayer for you right now, my friend. I know it's probably little consolation to you, but at least you still get to carry the baby yourself and deliver yourself, and it will still be your baby. You know we adopted, and my son couldn't be any more my son if I carried him myself, but I still mourn the fact that I didn't get to have that part of the experience. So you are still blessed. You will still be a mother. And from those of us on this side of it, I promise you... no matter HOW you get there, it's worth it... and you will still be every bit the mother you long to be! I love you!

jenniletv · Apr 23rd, 2008, 02:01 PM

Tabby,

I was so sad reading this thread. My heart goes out to you. I wish I could have been there to give you a great big hug and a shoulder to cry on.

I can not imagine how upsetting this must have been but at least you have some options and that not all hope is lost. Have you talked with your husband yet? I realize that this way is not the way most people want to conceive their children, but like VT Pooh said “You won't care how you make the baby once the baby arrives. You can still pee on the stick to find out if you are pregnant or not even you are doing IVF or IUF.”

And now at least you have some answers on the morphology issue and not being pregnant yet. I am hoping and praying for you and will continue to do so until that positive comes, my friend. I am here if you ever want to chat, vent or cry – just pm me anytime!!

beejerry · Apr 23rd, 2008, 03:10 PM

Tabbyco, can I cry with you?

I am just told the same news that IVF is our best option AGAIN, and I'm running out of time. For women under 40, the chances are 50 to 60%. For women over 40, it would be 20 to 30%. I have no time to waste and I've endo too.

Adoption is expensive too and might even cost more than IVF. You'd imagine a child just available when you're ready to adopt? I heard it's a long process too, and younger couples get better choices too! The financial issue and the stress level would not be anything less!

{{{ Tabbyco }}}

Our dream to be a mother is still there, but we just have to try harder. KWIM?

I've an IUI scheduled next week, and will look at IVF too. No time to waste! Go gal! Go!

tabbyco · Apr 23rd, 2008, 03:59 PM

I love you guys!Thanks for all the kind words and support!

tabbyco · Apr 23rd, 2008, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BagHound

Saying a prayer for you right now, my friend. I know it's probably little consolation to you, but at least you still get to carry the baby yourself and deliver yourself, and it will still be your baby. You know we adopted, and my son couldn't be any more my son if I carried him myself, but I still mourn the fact that I didn't get to have that part of the experience. So you are still blessed. You will still be a mother. And from those of us on this side of it, I promise you... no matter HOW you get there, it's worth it... and you will still be every bit the mother you long to be! I love you!

A hug from the giggle box would make me feel all better.

chodessa · Apr 23rd, 2008, 06:27 PM

((HUGS))
We are always here to lean on.
Don't lose your amazing positive energy...it will happen....this may just be the way it was meant to happen.
Better to know now than to waste another year of so of trying...
But, maybe the specialist's opinion will be less "harsh".
VT Pooh is 100% right!! Once the baby is here, it won't matter.
One of my BFF's had to have 2 IVF's and now she has twins - boy and a girl and once they were born, all the pain and struggle and angst to get them here completely vanished.
You will be blessed.
We will all be blessed.

mssmelanie · Apr 23rd, 2008, 07:42 PM

(((HUGS))) Tabbyco ~ I totally feel you. I admit it does bother me that I have challenges conceiving naturally and that there's a bunch of people in the room, that I won't have that "surprise" factor of peeing on a stick and telling DH we're PG. I think it's something to grieve over. That's totally a reality. I mean I know nothing is impossible but I know the odds are not in our favor. But we can't lose hope.. We have this challenge.. so let it out, shake yourself off and go full steam ahead with what you need to do to get you PG :)

jenniletv · Apr 23rd, 2008, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mssmelanie

(((HUGS))) Tabbyco ~ I totally feel you. I admit it does bother me that I have challenges conceiving naturally and that there's a bunch of people in the room, that I won't have that "surprise" factor of peeing on a stick and telling DH we're PG. I think it's something to grieve over. That's totally a reality. I mean I know nothing is impossible but I know the odds are not in our favor. But we can't lose hope.. We have this challenge.. so let it out, shake yourself off and go full steam ahead with what you need to do to get you PG :)

dizizit · Apr 23rd, 2008, 10:16 PM

Hugssss Tabby

Stay strong and keep the faith

I believe in miracles

Swanky Mama Of Three · Apr 23rd, 2008, 10:19 PM

don't be sad girl!! Stay focused

chant w/ me
"the big picture. . . the end result!"

Nola · Apr 24th, 2008, 12:38 AM

I agree, the end result is the most important thing!! You´ll get there, don´t give up hope

IVF these days is extremely succesful!

lorenzo94580 · Apr 24th, 2008, 01:04 AM

Sending lots and lots of baby dust your way!!!

tabbyco · Apr 24th, 2008, 10:06 AM

thanks ladies, I am doing much better today and have received some PMs from lovely tPFers that have been through IVF with great results!

I'm up and I'm dusting!!

Apr 23rd, 2008, 11:54 AM	#1
tabbyco Quirrel! Joined: Jun 2006 Location: Right Coast Posts: 2,174	Ivf Well, I've managed to dry the tears just long enough so that I can see the keyboard. I called my RE to get a copy of the results from my DH's morphology test (Seman Analysis) and a NP called me back. She was going over the results and says "When we see morphology THIS low, IVF really the only option." Then goes on to tell me, "but it can happened with IUI and it does occasionally happen naturally, however there is better success with IVF." Now I don't know if it was the WAY she said it, but I just broke down (barely had enough time to close my office door). I am trying to take it with a grain of salt, b/c she is not my Dr., but I feel devestated. I know that IVF is better than no options, but this is so hard to take. The thought of not naturally conceiving didn't bother me until it became a reality. The thought of multiples didn't seem scary until considering the high probability with IVF. The cost seemed inconsequential, until it was my money. The prospect of it not working the first time always offered hope for the next time, unless it happens to me. I feel like some stupid little NP has killed my dream and the little mental picture of me peeing on a stick in my bathroom and jumping for joy with my husband and replaced it with a picture of twenty people standing in a room injecting cold sterile syringes in my body. I just need time to grieve the death of my idealic little future. I'll get back up, dust myself off and find out everything I need to know about IVF, and slowly get used to the idea that things aren't as I would have wanted them to be, but there is always hope. __________________

Apr 23rd, 2008, 01:16 PM	#2
VT Pooh Member Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 445	Re: Ivf tabbyco, I am crying as reading your post. Be strong. I know it is not easy. My friend's sisters went through the whole process for all of their children. One has two girls and one has 2 boys and a girl. They proudly talked about how they have their kids all the time. You won't care how you make the baby once the baby arrives. You can still pee on the stick to find out if you are pregnant or not even you are doing IVF or IUF. Please don't overworry. Try to clam down and decide what you & your husband want to do. Did you check with your insurance company yet? I checked in the past and found out IVF has to be covered by insuarnce in Massachuetts. It was required by law. I am always here to hear. VT Pooh

Apr 23rd, 2008, 01:22 PM	#3
BagHound Member Joined: Jun 2006 Posts: 499	Re: Ivf Saying a prayer for you right now, my friend. I know it's probably little consolation to you, but at least you still get to carry the baby yourself and deliver yourself, and it will still be your baby. You know we adopted, and my son couldn't be any more my son if I carried him myself, but I still mourn the fact that I didn't get to have that part of the experience. So you are still blessed. You will still be a mother. And from those of us on this side of it, I promise you... no matter HOW you get there, it's worth it... and you will still be every bit the mother you long to be! I love you!

Apr 23rd, 2008, 02:01 PM	#4
jenniletv Need bag rehab Joined: Aug 2006 Location: Middle of Hokie Nation! Posts: 2,482	Re: Ivf Tabby, I was so sad reading this thread. My heart goes out to you. I wish I could have been there to give you a great big hug and a shoulder to cry on. I can not imagine how upsetting this must have been but at least you have some options and that not all hope is lost. Have you talked with your husband yet? I realize that this way is not the way most people want to conceive their children, but like VT Pooh said *“You won't care how you make the baby once the baby arrives. You can still pee on the stick to find out if you are pregnant or not even you are doing IVF or IUF.”* And now at least you have some answers on the morphology issue and not being pregnant yet. I am hoping and praying for you and will continue to do so until that positive comes, my friend. I am here if you ever want to chat, vent or cry – just pm me anytime!! __________________ My Babies: LV Mono Deauville LV Mono Trouville LV Mono Ellipse Backpack LV MC Black Alma LV Black Epi Speedy 30 LV Manhattan PM LV Mono Pochette LV MC Black Porte-Tresor Wallet LV Mono 4 key holder RM Mattinee in Black/Blue flap RM Steady in Hazelnut

Apr 23rd, 2008, 03:10 PM	#5
beejerry A Blondie Gal! Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Silicon Valley Posts: 7,099	Re: Ivf Tabbyco, can I cry with you? I am just told the same news that IVF is our best option AGAIN, and I'm running out of time. For women under 40, the chances are 50 to 60%. For women over 40, it would be 20 to 30%. I have no time to waste and I've endo too. Adoption is expensive too and might even cost more than IVF. You'd imagine a child just available when you're ready to adopt? I heard it's a long process too, and younger couples get better choices too! The financial issue and the stress level would not be anything less! {{{ Tabbyco }}} Our dream to be a mother is still there, but we just have to try harder. KWIM? I've an IUI scheduled next week, and will look at IVF too. No time to waste! Go gal! Go! __________________ no expert, just personal opinion. ~ Always have room for a Blondie ~

Apr 23rd, 2008, 03:59 PM	#6
tabbyco Quirrel! Joined: Jun 2006 Location: Right Coast Posts: 2,174	Re: Ivf I love you guys!Thanks for all the kind words and support!

Apr 23rd, 2008, 06:27 PM	#8
chodessa Hot and Humble Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,471	Re: Ivf ((HUGS)) We are always here to lean on. Don't lose your amazing positive energy...it will happen....this may just be the way it was meant to happen. Better to know now than to waste another year of so of trying... But, maybe the specialist's opinion will be less "harsh". VT Pooh is 100% right!! Once the baby is here, it won't matter. One of my BFF's had to have 2 IVF's and now she has twins - boy and a girl and once they were born, all the pain and struggle and angst to get them here completely vanished. You will be blessed. We will all be blessed.

Apr 23rd, 2008, 07:42 PM	#9
mssmelanie Member Joined: Jul 2006 Location: NJ Posts: 1,891	Re: Ivf (((HUGS))) Tabbyco ~ I totally feel you. I admit it does bother me that I have challenges conceiving naturally and that there's a bunch of people in the room, that I won't have that "surprise" factor of peeing on a stick and telling DH we're PG. I think it's something to grieve over. That's totally a reality. I mean I know nothing is impossible but I know the odds are not in our favor. But we can't lose hope.. We have this challenge.. so let it out, shake yourself off and go full steam ahead with what you need to do to get you PG :)

Apr 23rd, 2008, 10:16 PM	#11
dizizit Member Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 89	Re: Ivf Hugssss Tabby Stay strong and keep the faith I believe in miracles __________________ simple but rock

Apr 23rd, 2008, 10:19 PM	#12
Swanky Mama Of Three Joined: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas Area Posts: 30,465	Re: Ivf don't be sad girl!! Stay focused chant w/ me "the big picture. . . the end result!" __________________ Holy inappropriateness!!! - a la Bethenny

Apr 24th, 2008, 12:38 AM	#13
Nola Learning patience Joined: Jul 2006 Location: Europe Posts: 19,056	Re: Ivf I agree, the end result is the most important thing!! You´ll get there, don´t give up hopeIVF these days is extremely succesful! __________________

Apr 24th, 2008, 01:04 AM	#14
lorenzo94580 Member Joined: Jul 2007 Posts: 1,011	Re: Ivf Sending lots and lots of baby dust your way!!!

Apr 24th, 2008, 10:06 AM	#15
tabbyco Quirrel! Joined: Jun 2006 Location: Right Coast Posts: 2,174	Re: Ivf thanks ladies, I am doing much better today and have received some PMs from lovely tPFers that have been through IVF with great results! I'm up and I'm dusting!! __________________