Is your DH cooperating?

BearyT · Aug 8th, 2008, 01:27 PM

Just want to rant a little as I am getting a bit stressed myself. I am wondering if your DH will cooperate with you during your O week? My DH don't always cooperate with me. He always want to BD only when he doesn't feel tired which is on the weekend. I told him it is not good for him and its best to BD every other day till I O'ed. Am I asking too much from him? I have a thought that maybe he's not ready for a baby. I'm 29 and he's 31 and so I think its a good time to have our first. So I was talking to him the other day that maybe we should take a break and stop trying for a few months, maybe go on a vacation and after vacation then we start again. To my surprise he said NO, he said he wants to keep trying. He's trying to loose some lbs and have been taking diet pills for 3 weeks now. I told him the pills have tons of caffeine and its not good for his little soldiers and he told me No, just 400mg caffeine per day won't hurt. What are my chances of getting pregnant if he only wants to BD on the weekends and only when he feels like it? He told me I am stressing myself by doing all this charting thing. Am I really? Or is he too carefree? When will he understand that it is not that easy to get pregnant?

Already passed my O days this month, just wait to see what will happen, don't think I will conceive this month. We only BD 2 days before I O and 1 day after I Oed.

Thanks for reading, just want to rant!

Korilynn · Aug 8th, 2008, 01:38 PM

So sorry you are feeling bad, bearyt! Have you tried not mentioning that it is O week and pouncing on him a few times?? Maybe if he doesnt realize whats going on he will give in easier..
Try mixing it up and doing it somewhere fun and different...

Loads of Babydust to you in the meantime!

BearyT · Aug 8th, 2008, 02:27 PM

Yeah trust me I've tried but he knows that its my O week when I first make the move. Oh wellz...

VPT · Aug 8th, 2008, 06:50 PM

It takes ALOT more effort for a guy to BD than it would take you, and you don't even have to climax to get pregnant! To add to this your guy may have work stress and other worries that can hamper his performance on call. That's why making babies isn't easy because there's only a small window of time a woman is fertile, while for men everyday they are fertile. The month I conceived we only BD once! DH fell ill soon after we BD so I think it doesn't matter how often you do it, but you have to be pretty accurate in the timing of your BD. Most people aren't accurate that's why it's advised to BD everyday or every other day of the fertile week.

BearyT · Aug 8th, 2008, 08:02 PM

VPT- I totally agree but it seems he doesn't understand its hard to keep track of the timing and so its best to BD every other day during O week and I'm not even going to everyday. Well, I am back to what he likes now, whenever he feels like it. Not giving him pressure but now I'm stressing myself out.

ive_flipped · Aug 8th, 2008, 09:07 PM

Don't stress yourself out. Men are kinda like that. My DH thinks that it is cool to BD whenever HE feels like it even if I really don't feel much like BD'ing and he will talk me into it lol but NOT when I want to. I can not talk him into at all.

Hang in there. Maybe try pouncing on him when it is not O time and then he might forget when it is O time and just give in lol

BearyT · Aug 10th, 2008, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ive_flipped

Don't stress yourself out. Men are kinda like that. My DH thinks that it is cool to BD whenever HE feels like it even if I really don't feel much like BD'ing and he will talk me into it lol but NOT when I want to. I can not talk him into at all.

Hang in there. Maybe try pouncing on him when it is not O time and then he might forget when it is O time and just give in lol

True- ive_flipped! I"m counting the days now, this cycle is almost over. My boobs are a little sore, but not sure if its AF about to come. Anyways, I will need to think of another stretegy if AF came this month.

ive_flipped · Aug 10th, 2008, 07:09 PM

How many days left? Wishing you the best...fingers crossed

BearyT · Aug 11th, 2008, 12:24 PM

today CD26 but I don't want to test it until next week. I'm scared to test :P

wasabipea · Aug 11th, 2008, 01:33 PM

Testing buddy.. hang in there. I'm in the same boat as you. I pretty much had to pounce on the DH around my O time. DH's are funny, only when its convenient for them they'll play. What convinced him was the visit to my MD last month. I repeated the talk I had with my MD, which was what we've all discussed before lots of BD during the O week. I seriously had to show him a calendar and say, listen if you really want a baby, you need to cooperate with me, this is the week [pointing at the calendar].

hugs to you testing buddy.

cascratchfever · Aug 11th, 2008, 01:44 PM

My DH was definitely stressed out during the TTC process. He didn't like BD'ing on command according to my ovulation monitor. My RE actually told me that we really only needed to BD on the 2 days my monitor gave me a "peak" reading so that's what we did and I got pg that month with only BD'ing those 2 days during that week. I hated the every other day thing with a passion, it was such a chore!

BearyT · Aug 11th, 2008, 02:38 PM

Thanks girls!

wasabipea and cascratchfever- I feel so much better after reading your posts haha I guess I'm not the only one! I'm hanging in there, I just hope the TTC process will end soon!

Korilynn · Aug 11th, 2008, 04:14 PM

Good Luck Beary T! Baby Dust!

BearyT · Aug 11th, 2008, 04:28 PM

Thanks Korilynn! :)

Virgo · Aug 11th, 2008, 07:36 PM

Beary, you are not alone. I was just saying something to my friend about my DH about this issue. I O'd on Friday, did IUI but wanted to "reinforce" it all weekend, but DH only would BD once on Sunday. He is always up for fooling around, but if he knows I want to DB then he feels its too clinical and not as interested. I was thinking maybe he is having second thoughts about having a kid, so I asked him. He said no, he definitely wants to have a family; its just that he doesn't want to take the fun out of it and it be all clinical. I totally understand!!! but I think us girls understand clearer that its not as easy to get pregnant as you think it is.

Its probably best to put as little pressure as possible on them and initate frequently regardless if its O time or not. If you don't get pregnant that way, then I think the DHs will realize that there has a more serious (yes somewhat clinical) approach to getting you pregnant.

Lots of hugs. I know it can be a frustating process!!

Aug 8th, 2008, 01:27 PM	#1
BearyT Member	Is your DH cooperating? Just want to rant a little as I am getting a bit stressed myself. I am wondering if your DH will cooperate with you during your O week? My DH don't always cooperate with me. He always want to BD only when he doesn't feel tired which is on the weekend. I told him it is not good for him and its best to BD every other day till I O'ed. Am I asking too much from him? I have a thought that maybe he's not ready for a baby. I'm 29 and he's 31 and so I think its a good time to have our first. So I was talking to him the other day that maybe we should take a break and stop trying for a few months, maybe go on a vacation and after vacation then we start again. To my surprise he said NO, he said he wants to keep trying. He's trying to loose some lbs and have been taking diet pills for 3 weeks now. I told him the pills have tons of caffeine and its not good for his little soldiers and he told me No, just 400mg caffeine per day won't hurt. What are my chances of getting pregnant if he only wants to BD on the weekends and only when he feels like it? He told me I am stressing myself by doing all this charting thing. Am I really? Or is he too carefree? When will he understand that it is not that easy to get pregnant? Already passed my O days this month, just wait to see what will happen, don't think I will conceive this month. We only BD 2 days before I O and 1 day after I Oed. Thanks for reading, just want to rant! __________________

Aug 8th, 2008, 01:38 PM	#2
Korilynn Member Location: UK, But from FL,USA	So sorry you are feeling bad, bearyt! Have you tried not mentioning that it is O week and pouncing on him a few times?? Maybe if he doesnt realize whats going on he will give in easier.. Try mixing it up and doing it somewhere fun and different... Loads of Babydust to you in the meantime! __________________ ITS A GIRL!! Counting down the days until Ireland Lucy arrives!

Aug 8th, 2008, 02:27 PM	#3
BearyT Member	Yeah trust me I've tried but he knows that its my O week when I first make the move. Oh wellz... __________________

Aug 8th, 2008, 06:50 PM	#4
VPT i ♥ blood oranges Location: Singapore / Vancouver	It takes ALOT more effort for a guy to BD than it would take you, and you don't even have to climax to get pregnant! To add to this your guy may have work stress and other worries that can hamper his performance on call. That's why making babies isn't easy because there's only a small window of time a woman is fertile, while for men everyday they are fertile. The month I conceived we only BD once! DH fell ill soon after we BD so I think it doesn't matter how often you do it, but you have to be pretty accurate in the timing of your BD. Most people aren't accurate that's why it's advised to BD everyday or every other day of the fertile week. __________________

Aug 8th, 2008, 08:02 PM	#5
BearyT Member	VPT- I totally agree but it seems he doesn't understand its hard to keep track of the timing and so its best to BD every other day during O week and I'm not even going to everyday. Well, I am back to what he likes now, whenever he feels like it. Not giving him pressure but now I'm stressing myself out. __________________

Aug 8th, 2008, 09:07 PM	#6
ive_flipped It's a Girl!!!!!!! Location: eh!! lol	Don't stress yourself out. Men are kinda like that. My DH thinks that it is cool to BD whenever HE feels like it even if I really don't feel much like BD'ing and he will talk me into it lol but NOT when I want to. I can not talk him into at all. Hang in there. Maybe try pouncing on him when it is not O time and then he might forget when it is O time and just give in lol __________________ IT'S A GIRL

Aug 10th, 2008, 07:09 PM	#8
ive_flipped It's a Girl!!!!!!! Location: eh!! lol	How many days left? Wishing you the best...fingers crossed __________________ IT'S A GIRL

Aug 11th, 2008, 12:24 PM	#9
BearyT Member	today CD26 but I don't want to test it until next week. I'm scared to test :P __________________

Aug 11th, 2008, 01:33 PM	#10
wasabipea Member	Testing buddy.. hang in there. I'm in the same boat as you. I pretty much had to pounce on the DH around my O time. DH's are funny, only when its convenient for them they'll play. What convinced him was the visit to my MD last month. I repeated the talk I had with my MD, which was what we've all discussed before lots of BD during the O week. I seriously had to show him a calendar and say, listen if you really want a baby, you need to cooperate with me, this is the week [pointing at the calendar]. hugs to you testing buddy.

Aug 11th, 2008, 01:44 PM	#11
cascratchfever Member	My DH was definitely stressed out during the TTC process. He didn't like BD'ing on command according to my ovulation monitor. My RE actually told me that we really only needed to BD on the 2 days my monitor gave me a "peak" reading so that's what we did and I got pg that month with only BD'ing those 2 days during that week. I hated the every other day thing with a passion, it was such a chore! __________________

Aug 11th, 2008, 02:38 PM	#12
BearyT Member	Thanks girls! wasabipea and cascratchfever- I feel so much better after reading your posts haha I guess I'm not the only one! I'm hanging in there, I just hope the TTC process will end soon! __________________

Aug 11th, 2008, 04:14 PM	#13
Korilynn Member Location: UK, But from FL,USA	Good Luck Beary T! Baby Dust! __________________ ITS A GIRL!! Counting down the days until Ireland Lucy arrives!

Aug 11th, 2008, 04:28 PM	#14
BearyT Member	Thanks Korilynn! :) __________________

Aug 11th, 2008, 07:36 PM	#15
Virgo Member	Beary, you are not alone. I was just saying something to my friend about my DH about this issue. I O'd on Friday, did IUI but wanted to "reinforce" it all weekend, but DH only would BD once on Sunday. He is always up for fooling around, but if he knows I want to DB then he feels its too clinical and not as interested. I was thinking maybe he is having second thoughts about having a kid, so I asked him. He said no, he definitely wants to have a family; its just that he doesn't want to take the fun out of it and it be all clinical. I totally understand!!! but I think us girls understand clearer that its not as easy to get pregnant as you think it is. Its probably best to put as little pressure as possible on them and initate frequently regardless if its O time or not. If you don't get pregnant that way, then I think the DHs will realize that there has a more serious (yes somewhat clinical) approach to getting you pregnant. Lots of hugs. I know it can be a frustating process!! __________________ Virgo Last edited by Virgo; Aug 11th, 2008 at 07:40 PM.