Can you recommend a site for older women and TTC?

Virgo · Jun 16th, 2008, 05:23 PM

This August, DH will be 35 and I will be 34. In January, I found out I have PCOS. The Fertility Specialist suggested that 2 months before we TTC I should come back, go on clomid and within 3 cycles I would probably become pregnant. He acted like it wasn't a huge deal / there shouldn't be a huge hurdle for me getting pregnant. Since then we haven't been TTC, but haven't been actively preventing it either. DH doesn't want it to be all planned/clinical.

So last night, my DH announces that we are getting too old to TTC - we could do it this year or just decide that we aren't going to. That made me sad to think that we wouldn't have them. DH tends to be a little dramatic but he said according to the articles he has been reading that the chances of us having a baby with birth defects is really high since he and I are "older".

I don't know if DH is being overly cautious? Or am I in just in denial about the clicking clock?

I wanted to find a site that has good information on pregnancy in older women so I have my facts straight.

I am also making an appointment with a Reproductive Specialist.

Thanks!!

beejerry · Jun 16th, 2008, 07:18 PM

Try this one:
http://forums.ovusoft.com/

It's a forum for TTCer of all ages. Older couple might have lower chances, but it's not at all impossible. We just have to try longer, harder. Don't give up hopes yet.

Good luck!

BearyT · Jun 16th, 2008, 07:41 PM

Sorry I don't know any sites but I've seen a lot of couples in the 40s still have healthy babies.. lower chances but that doesn't mean it won't happen right? My family doctor told me it will be good to have the first before 33 and then I can have the 2nd or 3rd or 4th anytime I want. Relax and stay positive. Good luck to you :)

tabbyco · Jun 17th, 2008, 09:52 AM

Virgo- Welcome to the forum! There are great resources out there... http://forums.ovusoft.com/Default.as...heck=893379269 is a good forum w/tons of info.

I'd be careful about going on Clomid for a few months before having all the test done on you and DH (ie, FSH and/or AMH level checked, HSG, semen analysis, progesterone levels checked). I am only 30 and they have just discovered through an AMH test that I have a dimished egg reserve. So messing around on Clomid would cause me to drop the eggs that I have left, making it difficult to retrieve for IVF if the drugs don't work... there so many different variables that RE needs to do his due diligence before just going to drugs.... and if he doesn't, find another RE. If we didn't get a second opinion, we wouldn't have even known that time is of the essence! And most insurance companies cover diagnostic tests and not treatment, so it is better to have all the test done than spend $$ on things that you either don't need or won't work.

I hope this helps....and doesn't worry you. Keep in mind when reading all the info on the internet is that EACH person's journey is different.

botkiergrrl · Jun 19th, 2008, 02:46 AM

Try twoweekwait.com. There are lots of ladies of all ages and different fertility issues. It's a great TTC site!

Alidoll · Jun 19th, 2008, 06:44 AM

I'm 37 and TTC {DH is 38} and have been trying for a couple of years. Had the tests and we're both "normal" so come under the category "unexplained infertility". Already done 6 months worth of clomid without success so waiting for referral for IVF.

If you really want a baby you need to talk to you DH - after all, it will be YOU that will need to go through most of the tests - being prodded and poked not him [he'll be given a plastic beaker and a magazine LOL!!]. If you do decide to go for IVF, do so soon as in the UK, the cut-off point for free NHS treatment for many areas is only 35! (so we'll have to pay). The success rate also drops quite a bit once you reach the age of 38 so you should act now and get the ball rolling so to speak.

Last month I really thought it might be me - high progesterone levels, a few days late but AF started and I was gutted. A few days late this month but not getting my hopes up this time as could be not being on clomid messing my cycle up..

Lots of babydust heading your way...

Virgo · Jun 27th, 2008, 09:53 PM

Thanks girls for the info and encouragement, I really appreciated it. I am nervous and excited.

lv lover steph · Jun 27th, 2008, 10:06 PM

Good luck! I am 34 and have PCOS too... I know what you are going through with nervous and excited all at the same time. Very tough situation but I am sure it will all work out!!

sarahsar · Jun 28th, 2008, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Virgo

I wanted to find a site that has good information on pregnancy in older women so I have my facts straight.

Fertile Thoughts (http://www.fertilethoughts.com) has tons of forums (same type of format as TPF) on every aspect of conceiving/pregnancy. There is a subforum on pregnancy after age 35. I would highly recommend it - it's a great community of women dealing with these kinds of issues.

Nishi621 · Jul 21st, 2008, 12:50 PM

I don't have any sites-but, I gave birth to my younger child five days after I turned 36-my husband at the time was 45-he is 7 1/2 and perfectly healthy. Most doctors will tell you that 35 being the "danger" number is an abitrary number chosen by insurance companies.

Yes, there are certain risks that go higher the older you get, but, nothing magically happens the second you turn 35.

VPT · Jul 21st, 2008, 04:17 PM

Virgo you are NOT OLD!!! I am 35 going on 36, DH is in his 40s, and I conceived for the first time. Just heard from 2 lady friends my age this weekend that they are 1-3 weeks preggy with their second and fourth child. I think you should start worrying after age 40, though I personally know of women who gave birth to healthy children when they were 42-45, including my own mother. Just try, try, try, your patience will pay off.

sarahsar · Jul 22nd, 2008, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nishi621

I don't have any sites-but, I gave birth to my younger child five days after I turned 36-my husband at the time was 45-he is 7 1/2 and perfectly healthy. Most doctors will tell you that 35 being the "danger" number is an abitrary number chosen by insurance companies.

Yes, there are certain risks that go higher the older you get, but, nothing magically happens the second you turn 35.

I don't want to be negative here, but I think 35 is more than just an arbitrary number. Of course the exact number may be somewhat arbitrary, since fertility declines and the risk of miscarriage and birth defects gradually increases starting in the 20s. But there is a big jump in those things if you look at a graph of them right around 35, which is part of why that number is chosen.

This link from the March of Dimes http://www.marchofdimes.com/professi...14332_1155.asp sums up those issues pretty well. For example, risk of Down syndrome is 1 in 1,250 at age 25, 1 in 1,000 at age 30, 1 in 400 at age 35, 1 in 100 at 40, and 1 in 30 at 45. So not much different for a 30 year old compared to a 25 year old, but a big jump in risk between 30 and 35, and so on. That parallels the risk of miscarriage, which makes sense, since many (most?) miscarriages are due to chromosomal abnormalities. 35 isn't a magic number, but there are absolutely concerns with delaying childbearing until the late 30s and early 40s, including at times more difficult pregnancies.

That said, most 35 year olds have healthy pregnancies. To the OP, if it were me, I certainly wouldn't be afraid to TTC at 35. I know your husband has concerns, but it's not true that the risk of birth defects is "really high" at 35. Look at Down syndrome for example - your risk is more than twice as high at 35 than at 30, but it's still only 1 in 400. One thing I would say, though, is if you have any trouble conceiving, I would be quicker to see a specialist about it at 35 than at 25. While usually it's recommended to think about seeing someone if you haven't conceived after a year of tying, if you're over 35 it's recommended to see someone after 6 months (see the March of Dimes link above). There are a lot of options to help if you have trouble TTC, but you have a better chance with all of them the younger you are when you start.

VT Pooh · Jul 23rd, 2008, 12:11 AM

It is never too old to have baby. 35 is not too old at all.

I just had my first baby at 33. I am turning 34 in oct.

Good Luck & baby dust!!!

VPT · Jul 23rd, 2008, 04:10 AM

I found something.

Click!

LeMonde · Jul 23rd, 2008, 03:09 PM

Virgo -> I wasn't even going to check this thread... I assumed 'older' would be at least 40+... but since it was your thread I clicked... and now I'm freaking out even more than before... I'm 35 and I was doing just fine until few months ago... but I know I will NEVER GIVE UP, I'll keep trying to the very last little egg, and will do whatever I have to do...

At the end it's of course yours and your DH's decision, how much do you really want a baby and how much you'd be willing to 'suffer' emotionally on the way... I don't care how much crying I'll have to do alone at night, and how brave I'll have to pretend to be in front of others (including DH), I'll do it for as long as there's hope...

I don't think my DH would ever suggest quitting... He always says 'whatever you want honey I'm with you...'

I love him soooooo much!!! Besides, his mom would kill him before he opened his mouth LOL She doesn't have any grandchildren and we are her only hope.

Thank you ladies for the links... I guess it's time to get really serious...

Jun 16th, 2008, 05:23 PM	#1
Virgo Member Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 2,533	Can you recommend a site for older women and TTC? This August, DH will be 35 and I will be 34. In January, I found out I have PCOS. The Fertility Specialist suggested that 2 months before we TTC I should come back, go on clomid and within 3 cycles I would probably become pregnant. He acted like it wasn't a huge deal / there shouldn't be a huge hurdle for me getting pregnant. Since then we haven't been TTC, but haven't been actively preventing it either. DH doesn't want it to be all planned/clinical. So last night, my DH announces that we are getting too old to TTC - we could do it this year or just decide that we aren't going to. That made me sad to think that we wouldn't have them. DH tends to be a little dramatic but he said according to the articles he has been reading that the chances of us having a baby with birth defects is really high since he and I are "older". I don't know if DH is being overly cautious? Or am I in just in denial about the clicking clock? I wanted to find a site that has good information on pregnancy in older women so I have my facts straight. I am also making an appointment with a Reproductive Specialist. Thanks!! __________________ Virgo

Jun 16th, 2008, 07:18 PM	#2
beejerry A Blondie Gal! Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Silicon Valley Posts: 7,099	Try this one: http://forums.ovusoft.com/ It's a forum for TTCer of all ages. Older couple might have lower chances, but it's not at all impossible. We just have to try longer, harder. Don't give up hopes yet. Good luck! __________________ no expert, just personal opinion. ~ Always have room for a Blondie ~

Jun 16th, 2008, 07:41 PM	#3
BearyT Member Joined: May 2008 Posts: 175	Sorry I don't know any sites but I've seen a lot of couples in the 40s still have healthy babies.. lower chances but that doesn't mean it won't happen right? My family doctor told me it will be good to have the first before 33 and then I can have the 2nd or 3rd or 4th anytime I want. Relax and stay positive. Good luck to you :) __________________

Jun 17th, 2008, 09:52 AM	#4
tabbyco Quirrel! Joined: Jun 2006 Location: Right Coast Posts: 2,177	Virgo- Welcome to the forum! There are great resources out there... http://forums.ovusoft.com/Default.as...heck=893379269 is a good forum w/tons of info. I'd be careful about going on Clomid for a few months before having all the test done on you and DH (ie, FSH and/or AMH level checked, HSG, semen analysis, progesterone levels checked). I am only 30 and they have just discovered through an AMH test that I have a dimished egg reserve. So messing around on Clomid would cause me to drop the eggs that I have left, making it difficult to retrieve for IVF if the drugs don't work... there so many different variables that RE needs to do his due diligence before just going to drugs.... and if he doesn't, find another RE. If we didn't get a second opinion, we wouldn't have even known that time is of the essence! And most insurance companies cover diagnostic tests and not treatment, so it is better to have all the test done than spend $$ on things that you either don't need or won't work. I hope this helps....and doesn't worry you. Keep in mind when reading all the info on the internet is that EACH person's journey is different. __________________

Jun 19th, 2008, 06:44 AM	#6
Alidoll Member Joined: Apr 2007 Location: Bonnie Scotland Posts: 488	I'm 37 and TTC {DH is 38} and have been trying for a couple of years. Had the tests and we're both "normal" so come under the category "unexplained infertility". Already done 6 months worth of clomid without success so waiting for referral for IVF. If you really want a baby you need to talk to you DH - after all, it will be YOU that will need to go through most of the tests - being prodded and poked not him [he'll be given a plastic beaker and a magazine LOL!!]. If you do decide to go for IVF, do so soon as in the UK, the cut-off point for free NHS treatment for many areas is only 35! (so we'll have to pay). The success rate also drops quite a bit once you reach the age of 38 so you should act now and get the ball rolling so to speak. Last month I really thought it might be me - high progesterone levels, a few days late but AF started and I was gutted. A few days late this month but not getting my hopes up this time as could be not being on clomid messing my cycle up.. Lots of babydust heading your way... Last edited by Alidoll; Jun 19th, 2008 at 06:57 AM. Reason: Added comment

Jun 19th, 2008, 02:46 AM	#5
botkiergrrl Member Joined: Jun 2008 Location: WA Posts: 24	Try twoweekwait.com. There are lots of ladies of all ages and different fertility issues. It's a great TTC site!

Jun 27th, 2008, 09:53 PM	#7
Virgo Member Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 2,533	Thanks girls for the info and encouragement, I really appreciated it. I am nervous and excited. __________________ Virgo

Jun 27th, 2008, 10:06 PM	#8
lv lover steph Member Joined: Jun 2006 Location: Harrisburg, PA Posts: 1,329	Good luck! I am 34 and have PCOS too... I know what you are going through with nervous and excited all at the same time. Very tough situation but I am sure it will all work out!! __________________ Please sponsor me in The Leukemia and Lymphoma's Hike for Discovery! Visit http://pages.hikefordiscovery.org/cpa/Smokey208/stitzel Many thanks! Stephanie

Jul 21st, 2008, 12:50 PM	#10
Nishi621 Obsessed Member Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 5,988	I don't have any sites-but, I gave birth to my younger child five days after I turned 36-my husband at the time was 45-he is 7 1/2 and perfectly healthy. Most doctors will tell you that 35 being the "danger" number is an abitrary number chosen by insurance companies. Yes, there are certain risks that go higher the older you get, but, nothing magically happens the second you turn 35. __________________

Jul 21st, 2008, 04:17 PM	#11
VPT i ♥ blood oranges Joined: May 2008 Location: Vanc, WA Posts: 1,833	Virgo you are NOT OLD!!! I am 35 going on 36, DH is in his 40s, and I conceived for the first time. Just heard from 2 lady friends my age this weekend that they are 1-3 weeks preggy with their second and fourth child. I think you should start worrying after age 40, though I personally know of women who gave birth to healthy children when they were 42-45, including my own mother. Just try, try, try, your patience will pay off. __________________ Last edited by VPT; Jul 21st, 2008 at 04:22 PM.

Jul 23rd, 2008, 12:11 AM	#13
VT Pooh Member Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 446	It is never too old to have baby. 35 is not too old at all. I just had my first baby at 33. I am turning 34 in oct. Good Luck & baby dust!!!

Jul 23rd, 2008, 04:10 AM	#14
VPT i ♥ blood oranges Joined: May 2008 Location: Vanc, WA Posts: 1,833	I found something. Click! __________________

Jul 23rd, 2008, 03:09 PM	#15
LeMonde Loving Life :) Joined: Oct 2007 Location: NJ & NY Posts: 1,106	Virgo -> I wasn't even going to check this thread... I assumed 'older' would be at least 40+... but since it was your thread I clicked... and now I'm freaking out even more than before... I'm 35 and I was doing just fine until few months ago... but I know I will NEVER GIVE UP, I'll keep trying to the very last little egg, and will do whatever I have to do... At the end it's of course yours and your DH's decision, how much do you really want a baby and how much you'd be willing to 'suffer' emotionally on the way... I don't care how much crying I'll have to do alone at night, and how brave I'll have to pretend to be in front of others (including DH), I'll do it for as long as there's hope... I don't think my DH would ever suggest quitting... He always says 'whatever you want honey I'm with you...' I love him soooooo much!!! Besides, his mom would kill him before he opened his mouth LOL She doesn't have any grandchildren and we are her only hope. Thank you ladies for the links... I guess it's time to get really serious...