[Max1880]

So my husband and I are thinking about starting to TTC. However, I feel a lot of pressure from his mother that we need to start right now (I am 28, he's 29) and she keeps going on about how I need to have a baby before 30 yada yada. She is an internist so she keeps scaring me with all this medical stuff. Now my husband is starting to get worried that we won't be able to get pregnant easily or that the child will have medical issues. Now I am really scared of geting/being pregnant. Is this normal? I guess I just want to know if it's normal to be afraid of getting or being pregnant and how to get over it?

[ive_flipped]

Hey welcome I am in the same boat. We are both the same age. I want to get pregnant but I am scared of things as well. I have a medical back ground as well and know how certain things are and I want one but feel the pressure of age, family and then I am worried about how it changes relationships and money while I would be off and all the things that come along with it. It's normal and I think you need to make sure that this is what you want to do...your young still :)

[wasabipea]

Hello and welcome!

I understand that your MIL probably has your best interest at heart and really really wants grandkids, but I don't think that its very appropriate of her placing doubt and scary thoughts you into your head. Its ultimately your (you and hubby) decision, not hers to bully you into starting a family. However, all this aside... everyone is scared. lifestyle change, responsibility all the what-if's. its a personal decision. good luck!!

[BearyT]

Welcome! Don't let others influence your decision. As long as you and your DH is ready, planned about it then just relax and let it happen :) I think you are a little bit stress that's why you are scared. Just relax and make sure you and DH is on the same page :)

[twin53]

you and your husband should make your own decisions. you are adults and it's your marriage not your MIL's

[ms.fashionista]

Oh tell me about it!! I am scared ****less! I am scared of the labor and delivery, the change in lifestyle, the change in my body and much much more! But I always hear other mothers' saying that, once the little one comes into the world, it is worth it! So all I am doing now is looking toward the end goal...hope that helps!

[Max1880]

Thanks ladies for your replies, I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way. I only have one friend that has a baby, the rest are just getting engaged now so I don't really have anyone to ask. Best of luck to all of you ladies who are TTC!

[Virgo]

I am totally nervous and being that I am 33 (34 in August!!) I have even more pressure. Luckily we don't get pressure from family members.

You shouldn't start until you guys are ready. Don't tell anyone pressure you into such a huge decision.

We just started and we've been married 6.5 years! Before now we weren't ready. Since I have PCOS I went to a Fertility Specialist right away. When I brought up my age he said I was in the lower 10% age bracket of his patients and I have time to have 5 kids if I wanted. I feel positive I will be able to get pregnant and if not I will adopt.

[Babyjlo]

My MIL had to be told off for pushing the grandkid thing. In the end she did, she has one now and although she occasionally mentions a 2nd, there's nowhere near as much of it as before no 1 was born.
This time around I'm scared for so many reasons - I'm older although only 30!, it's been nearly 5 years since last time, I now have an official Pcos diagnosis instead of the suspicion I had before and worst of all, my daughter was diagnosed with a condition this year that has a 1 in 3 chance of affecting siblings. Oh and then there was my very close friend who lost her baby at 38 weeks for no known reason this summer.
I'd tell your MiL that you are aware of the risks, but that you also know stress is another risk that you don't need. That is bound to make her think twice!

[VPT]

Remember statistics are a result of a study taken on a sample population. Just as there are people TTC, there are about equal or more couples that do not want kids. They don't even TTC so they're not part of that statistics, who knows maybe they are the ones that could be very fertile to their 40s? These days so many women all over the world are getting married later because of their advancement in education and career taking priority over marriage and family, they don't start TTC until they are past 30. I'm very certain in time these statistics will change in favor of a higher % of 30+yo ladies being able to conceive. Most of my friends start being mothers after 30yo. Some well into their 40s without any medical help and they still bear normal intelligent children!

Stress is something you don't want around. It's a huge factor in destroying your chances to conceive at any age and you should tell her that. It makes your DH less able to perform, it makes you increasingly worried and agitated every single month you get a BFN on your preg test kit, and eventually it will affect your marriage as each of you will start blaming the other for the failure. Just take everything one step at a time, enjoy every single session, and enjoy each other's company.

If you're scared of being pregnant it is a HUGE sign you are not ready to be a mother yet. Those who are TTC want to be a mother so badly, that all the pain, the sickness, the trauma associated with pregnancy and childbirth are what they are actually looking forward to experiencing.

I'm 35 and preggy with my 1st child. Back when I was in my early 20s I was so scared of being pregnant it put me off marriage for the longest time that's why I married late.