2nd opinion on my 2nd opinion.

mssmelanie · Mar 4th, 2008, 09:19 PM

Sorry so long..

...I live in the suburbs of New Jersey. Our 1st fertility doctor we went to was about a mile from my house. It was so super convenient. I sometimes had to go 2 or 3 times a week so you can see how proximity would be key. I hardly ever had to be late for work because I managed to go to most of my appts before my work day started.

The girls in the office were super friendly and they knew us very well and we just loved the staff. I felt like they were really supportive. It's such a difficult thing and it was great that they were all very sweet to DH and I.. Well, As you may know, after a few years with them we haven't been successful and they decided that they didn't feel it was best to attempt a 2nd IVF with my own eggs and wouldn't do it again. I was crushed.

We then went to a large university hospital in Philadelphia for a 2nd opinion. It's 40 minutes away and it's very inconvenient for us to go there but I figured if we only have x amount of $$ left in our insurance, we might as well go for a highly reputable place in Philadelphia. I just hate driving into Philly with the traffic etc. And I have to take off longer from work when I do this rather than just being a few minutes late when it was close to my house.

Our first appt was promising. The doctor I think spent over an hour with us stating he could do another IVF for us. We were very excited and I confirmed with them last month that we wanted to go ahead and try for IVF again with them. They just needed our records from the previous doctor.

Our 2nd appt was 02/07. We waited over an hour in the waiting room. That was frustrating but I had a procedure done and then they were going to call us after they got the records from my previous doctor to advise our next steps. About 2 weeks went by and I hadn't gotten any calls yet so I called and asked them what was going on.. They said they didn't get my records yet. I called my old doctor and they sent them out 02/06. I called my new doctor's office back and told the nurse it was sent out on 2/6 and she said she would try to look for them or talk to the girl who handles the records and get back to me early last week. I hadn't heard from them so I call them the end of last week and today.. Of course they call me back on my home phone which I'm not at home.. I work.. I had given them my cell phone. Needless to say, I'm frustrated that I had the long wait but that's typical. I'm frustrated that no one was pro active about getting back to me about my medical records or our next steps.. I had to follow up with them a few times about my records. I have to call them again tomorrow to tell them to make sure they call my cell phone and ask where my records are! They left me a message that it could take 30 days to get my records? Huh?

Anyway, I'm getting frustrated with this all and now I'm questioning if I should switch Doctor's again? Like I said, I think our insurance covers a little more than half the next IVF attempt so I wanted to go with the best in the area. Give it the best shot we got. I thought the university hospital would be it but I'm not really feeling that we're being taken care of.

It's such a emotionally and physically draining thing, now I'm adding the stress of a longer and yucky commute and then feeling like we're not being taken care of?

emmalawyer · Mar 4th, 2008, 09:37 PM

Wow Melanie... as if it's not hard enough to just go through IVF without being hassled & harrassed by administrative details at the R.E.'s office. For my IVF I had the same office atmosphere that you described with your previous doctors and it was still super-grueling emotionally. So hard to try to imagine what I would do... I think though that I probably would go with the best possible (especially if they agreed to do the IVF) despite the office atmosphere, but I hate to think of how difficult this would have been if I didn't feel like the staff cared for me and my outcome...

Sorry I'm not much help here, girl, I just really really hope you get another shot (so to speak) at it and that this turns out to be the lucky try.

tabbyco · Mar 5th, 2008, 10:33 AM

How frustrating! Why don't you take some time off work and come down here to Norfolk and try The Jones Institute! They are the first successful IVF birth in the US. It would be fun... you would go to your apt. We could meet for lunch, do some shopping...

But in all seriousness... they are conducting a clinical study for women doing IVF and will pay half of medical expenses (saw the add this morning onTV). Here is the link:
http://www.jonesinstitute.org/fertil...c--events.html

mssmelanie · Mar 5th, 2008, 06:59 PM

Thanks emmalawyer/tabbyco. It just helps to vent sometimes.

I would love to take time off and do this but my finances couldn't afford that right now.

VT Pooh · Mar 5th, 2008, 07:08 PM

Melanie,

Since they are the best in your area, give them a little bit more time.

I wish you the best of luck!

VT Pooh

beejerry · Mar 5th, 2008, 10:20 PM

It takes time to know the staff, so I'd not hesitate to go. It's the best you can get right now if I'm not mistaken.

pitarylg · Mar 5th, 2008, 10:23 PM

Go with your gut feeling, and if you feel you should switch doctors or get another opinion, do it. I have been there, and you have to have a confidence level and a trust.

Mar 4th, 2008, 09:19 PM	#1
mssmelanie Member Joined: Jul 2006 Location: NJ Posts: 1,894	2nd opinion on my 2nd opinion. Sorry so long.. ...I live in the suburbs of New Jersey. Our 1st fertility doctor we went to was about a mile from my house. It was so super convenient. I sometimes had to go 2 or 3 times a week so you can see how proximity would be key. I hardly ever had to be late for work because I managed to go to most of my appts before my work day started. The girls in the office were super friendly and they knew us very well and we just loved the staff. I felt like they were really supportive. It's such a difficult thing and it was great that they were all very sweet to DH and I.. Well, As you may know, after a few years with them we haven't been successful and they decided that they didn't feel it was best to attempt a 2nd IVF with my own eggs and wouldn't do it again. I was crushed. We then went to a large university hospital in Philadelphia for a 2nd opinion. It's 40 minutes away and it's very inconvenient for us to go there but I figured if we only have x amount of $$ left in our insurance, we might as well go for a highly reputable place in Philadelphia. I just hate driving into Philly with the traffic etc. And I have to take off longer from work when I do this rather than just being a few minutes late when it was close to my house. Our first appt was promising. The doctor I think spent over an hour with us stating he could do another IVF for us. We were very excited and I confirmed with them last month that we wanted to go ahead and try for IVF again with them. They just needed our records from the previous doctor. Our 2nd appt was 02/07. We waited over an hour in the waiting room. That was frustrating but I had a procedure done and then they were going to call us after they got the records from my previous doctor to advise our next steps. About 2 weeks went by and I hadn't gotten any calls yet so I called and asked them what was going on.. They said they didn't get my records yet. I called my old doctor and they sent them out 02/06. I called my new doctor's office back and told the nurse it was sent out on 2/6 and she said she would try to look for them or talk to the girl who handles the records and get back to me early last week. I hadn't heard from them so I call them the end of last week and today.. Of course they call me back on my home phone which I'm not at home.. I work.. I had given them my cell phone. Needless to say, I'm frustrated that I had the long wait but that's typical. I'm frustrated that no one was pro active about getting back to me about my medical records or our next steps.. I had to follow up with them a few times about my records. I have to call them again tomorrow to tell them to make sure they call my cell phone and ask where my records are! They left me a message that it could take 30 days to get my records? Huh? Anyway, I'm getting frustrated with this all and now I'm questioning if I should switch Doctor's again? Like I said, I think our insurance covers a little more than half the next IVF attempt so I wanted to go with the best in the area. Give it the best shot we got. I thought the university hospital would be it but I'm not really feeling that we're being taken care of. It's such a emotionally and physically draining thing, now I'm adding the stress of a longer and yucky commute and then feeling like we're not being taken care of?

Mar 4th, 2008, 09:37 PM	#2
emmalawyer BLITHERING FOOL Joined: Oct 2006 Location: with the teething twins! Posts: 788	Re: 2nd opinion on my 2nd opinion. Wow Melanie... as if it's not hard enough to just go through IVF without being hassled & harrassed by administrative details at the R.E.'s office. For my IVF I had the same office atmosphere that you described with your previous doctors and it was still super-grueling emotionally. So hard to try to imagine what I would do... I think though that I probably would go with the best possible (especially if they agreed to do the IVF) despite the office atmosphere, but I hate to think of how difficult this would have been if I didn't feel like the staff cared for me and my outcome... Sorry I'm not much help here, girl, I just really really hope you get another shot (so to speak) at it and that this turns out to be the lucky try. __________________ signature too large “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” --Dr. Seuss ( lil Bitsy's favorite bedtime reading)

Mar 5th, 2008, 10:33 AM	#3
tabbyco Quirrel! Joined: Jun 2006 Location: Right Coast Posts: 2,177	Re: 2nd opinion on my 2nd opinion. How frustrating! Why don't you take some time off work and come down here to Norfolk and try The Jones Institute! They are the first successful IVF birth in the US. It would be fun... you would go to your apt. We could meet for lunch, do some shopping... But in all seriousness... they are conducting a clinical study for women doing IVF and will pay half of medical expenses (saw the add this morning onTV). Here is the link: http://www.jonesinstitute.org/fertil...c--events.html __________________

Mar 5th, 2008, 06:59 PM	#4
mssmelanie Member Joined: Jul 2006 Location: NJ Posts: 1,894	Re: 2nd opinion on my 2nd opinion. Thanks emmalawyer/tabbyco. It just helps to vent sometimes. I would love to take time off and do this but my finances couldn't afford that right now.

Mar 5th, 2008, 07:08 PM	#5
VT Pooh Member Joined: Jul 2006 Posts: 446	Re: 2nd opinion on my 2nd opinion. Melanie, Since they are the best in your area, give them a little bit more time. I wish you the best of luck! VT Pooh

Mar 5th, 2008, 10:20 PM	#6
beejerry A Blondie Gal! Joined: Jan 2007 Location: Silicon Valley Posts: 7,099	Re: 2nd opinion on my 2nd opinion. It takes time to know the staff, so I'd not hesitate to go. It's the best you can get right now if I'm not mistaken. __________________ no expert, just personal opinion. ~ Always have room for a Blondie ~

Mar 5th, 2008, 10:23 PM	#7
pitarylg Lil Ms Joined: Feb 2008 Location: Oakwood, OH Posts: 11	Re: 2nd opinion on my 2nd opinion. Go with your gut feeling, and if you feel you should switch doctors or get another opinion, do it. I have been there, and you have to have a confidence level and a trust.