you're selfish!!!

the swan

More bagz plz!!!
Sep 22, 2006
209
0
I post a thread Three days ago about my friend who want to borrow my new bag!! you were very helpful and give me many suggestions to deal with it..but guess what??? she said to me that i'm selfish!!! To not letting her wearing my new bag and she is not talking to me since that day!
The problem is that we used to borrow eachother bags since high school..but they were cheap brands like GUESS, LIZ CLIBORN,NINE WEST..etc but having Dior Trotter Romantique ..It's dream come true..I don't want to lose her..at the same time i dont want anyone to use my new bag..What can i do??? :confused1: :confused1:
 
She will get over it. Tell her you want to have time to enjoy YOUR bag that YOU just got before handing it over to her. Can't she understand you want special time with your bag? If she gets rid of you because of that, she's really not a good friend.
 
tell her nicely? hopefully she will come around...but I do know it's difficult to say no to friends sometimes, however with me, it's different as my friends know not to even ask to borrow my bags hehe...I remember someone else..a daughter of my mom's friend wanted to borrow my Versace coat some time ago, and needless to say, I said "No". Guess it would be more difficult when it's a good friend..but don't worry too much..I'm sure she will understand! :yes:
 
You either need to explain to her how important the bag is to you or you need a new friend IMO. If you've been friends for a long time she really should understand you better, I think
 
You have a friend that's not speaking to you because you wouldn't let her borrow your brand new, really expensive purse? And she thinks you are the selfish one?

Ignore her. It will either blow over because she's just having a bad day, or she is not a very understanding friend and it may be a good time to take a break. Hopefully she's just having a bad week. Otherwise if she went out of her way to call you selfish and turn on you about a purse she does not sound like a nice person.
 
Wow, she doesn't sound like a very good friend. I thought it was inappropriate of her to even ask you to borrow it before you've even had a chance to wear it. But this is way over the line.

Maybe you could explain to her that this is something you've been wanting and saving to get for a long time, and is therefore different than the other bags you've let her borrow in the past? Good luck, and I'm sorry you are having to go through this with her.
 
She will get over it. Tell her you want to have time to enjoy YOUR bag that YOU just got before handing it over to her. Can't she understand you want special time with your bag? If she gets rid of you because of that, she's really not a good friend.

you're right elongreach..but you know she was so happy for me, when i get the bag and she think she can borrow it like we used bafore :sad:
 
Tell her to get over herself. She's the one being selfish. If you NEVER chose to let her borrow it, that's your right. What kind of friend is she?

If my friends stopped talking to me because I wouldn't let them borrow my things, I'd never hear from them again because I never do. I invest way too much $$ in my things and would never take a chance on someone else damaging them or losing them.

You're not in high school anymore. Tell her to get her own stuff.
 
Go somewhere with your bag. Then it won't be a bag you haven't even used.

Then arrange an outing with your friend, and let her carry that bag. You will be able to supervise it, and she will be able to see her reflection in plate glass windows as she walks by your side carrying it.

Maybe a friend can take some photos of you both, and include at least one of her holding the bag. Then you can have the photos printed, and put them in those horrid little cubes, and give her one.
 
SHE is the selfish one here... if you don't want her to use your bag, then she should just get over it. What kind of friend has a fit over not being able to borrow another person's things?
 
It isn't you who is being selfish. Would she ask to drive your new car off the lot? She must know that what she is asking is unreasonable - any sane person would. Yet she is trying to play your friendship in order to get what she wants. And anyone who would do that is no friend at all.
 
The only thing that I'd be concerned about is this: is she going to manipulate you every time she wants something and you say no? I think explaining to her that this bag is not like the Guess bags you used to loan her, this one is special and while you want to stay friends you also have to have some boundaries. If you want to loan her the bag later then I think that's great but to feel manipulated into doing something by someone with name calling and the silent treatment is borderline abusive. I don't mean to be harsh, I'm sure she's a great friend but I guess I'm seeing a bigger issue here. Don't let someone manipulate you into something you don't want to do. Period. I mean, if a boyfriend or husband treated you that way I'd say run away very fast! Hope I'm not off base here and I hope you and your friend can work it out. Congrats too on your bag!
 
Go somewhere with your bag. Then it won't be a bag you haven't even used.

Then arrange an outing with your friend, and let her carry that bag. You will be able to supervise it, and she will be able to see her reflection in plate glass windows as she walks by your side carrying it.

Maybe a friend can take some photos of you both, and include at least one of her holding the bag. Then you can have the photos printed, and put them in those horrid little cubes, and give her one.

woow..what great ideas..thanks :yahoo: