Would you pledge your purity to your father?

  1. Girls Pledge Their Virginity at “Purity Balls”

    JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- It is one of the most significant nights in the lives of many young girls, one they will always remember. No, it's not the prom or even their wedding. It’s the night they make "the pledge".
    The girls get dressed up to go out on a special date with their dads. And then, in front of their fathers and everyone else in attendance, they vow to remain a virgin until they are married.
    Patrick Eades is the Executive Director of the Care Net Pregnancy Center, as well as the founder of BRAVEheart, a non profit that promotes abstinence.
    "I'm the guy who goes around talking about sex,” says Eades. “A lot of people call me ‘the sex man’ here in Glynn County."
    Like dozens of similar organizations around the country, Eades organization sponsors "Purity Balls", or gatherings where pre-teens to twenty-somethings, in the presence of their dads, make a vow to remain sexually pure and to save themselves for marriage.
    "All the research shows the same thing. When there is no father, daughter relationship, no parental relationship, the teens are more likely to make high risk decisions with high risk consequences," says Eades.
    Eades started taking his daughter Alyssa to the Purity Ball when she was nine. Some might feel that nine years old is too young to expose a girl to some of these issues and concerns. But Eades disagrees.
    “I would say, if you think nine is too young, then you need to go to the public schools and hang around the hallways and hear what your children are being exposed to," he says.
    But, a 2005 report by Yale and Columbia University researchers suggests most young woman who make the pledge, almost nine out of ten of them, won't keep it.
    "Am I going to think that every student is going to wait to have sex?” says Eades. “No. But I do think this. You set the goals as high as you can. And if they miss, maybe they miss going high."
    “It’s a promise to yourself,” says 11-year-old Taylor Alig. “You're going to wait, and you're going to have sex after marriage. So once you see it in your mind, you're like, ‘I'm going to wait’, and it makes you stronger."
    The dads also make a pledge to be pure in their lives and to protect their daughters.
    "It fills me with pride when my daughter makes a pledge,” says Taylor’s dad, Tony Alig. “They're really not making it to me. They are making it in my presence. But it’s a pledge between them and God.”
    The fathers who do this will tell you that it’s as much about building a good, trusting relationship with their daughters as anything else. Here in Jacksonville, the non-profit Project SOS is having their annual father/daughter dinner date. You'll find the information by going to their website at projectsos.com.
  2. I think that's great if the daughter understands what she's getting into, otherwise there's a danger of her setting herself up for failure.

    Then there's the whole issue of "Whose Body is it Really?" Some critics have said that it symbolizes the girl having no control over her own body. First it belongs to her father and then her husband. There's a question of, What does the girl really want?

    My parents never sat me down and said, "It's really important to us that you wait until marriage." They enrolled me in a school where they taught sex ed. Not just about heterosexual sex but homosexual sex, too. (Not, you know, technique, but we watched Philadelphia in class, and we had guest speakers come in and tell us what it was like coming out to their parents. On World AIDS Day, a piece of the AIDS Quilt was displayed in our gym.)

    And I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful that my parents made sure I was taught everything I needed to know and trusted me to make the right decision.

    I remember being 15 at the time, and yet another news report of a teenage girl giving birth at the prom and abandoning the baby was on the TV. My dad looked at me very seriously and said, "If that ever happens to you, just know that you can always come home." At the time, I thought that was weird that he said that, but looking back on it, I appreciated him saying that. That's what those poor girls don't have or don't know they have: a family to tell them they love them and that whatever happens they could always come home.
  3. To add: I think it's great that schools are starting to add Abstinence to their sex ed classes, but it should be in addition to the other stuff. The students can't just learn about Abstinence.

    If they're not taught how to go about it safely, then they'll just go out and experiment on their own without knowing the safe way to do it.
  4. No, absolutely not. I went to Catholic school and they talked a lot about abstinance. Still nobody had to make a pledge . They focused on you making being grown up enough to make your own decisions.
  5. That's an idiotic thing to do - make a public pledge that someone is not going to have sex...eeeeww...

    I come from a seriously culturally inhibitedsouth Asian nation where girls are 'expected' to remain virgins until marrage. But we don't promise it in public, we just do it if we think it's good for our lives...
  6. It's crazy and pretty much a private thing. One thing is to make a vow to yourself, but to publicly spill it? I think it's a bit nasty.
  7. Not no.. but HELL no. :sweatdrop:
  8. I had lots of friends who did this, their fathers actually gave them promise rings. Their vow was more to God than their fathers though. That is how me and most and my friends were raised, in strict Southern Baptist churches, that sex before marriage is totally unacceptable, that sex is something sacred that must only be shared with the one you will spend the rest of your life with. But, I must admit that I did slip!:shame:
  9. Tell my father that I wouldn't have sex? No way! What girls talk to their fathers about having/not having sex anyway?

    (If I did go and have sex and by implication 'get into trouble' then I'm sure my father would have lots of things to say.....but before? Nuh uh!)
  10. Nah, I would NEVER do this. It's kind of creepy to me...I saw a video one time of one of the "balls" with the girls all dressed up princess-like taking vows of abstinence with their fathers...it just seemed SO wrong. :yucky: (No offense to anyone who's done this, just doesn't jive with me)
  11. Umm, too late for me.

    The symbolism can be construed as sexist (girl pledging to her father, and then to the husband), but that doesn't concern me. If girls want to do this, that's great, and it sounds sweet. There are worse things.
  12. Am I the only juvenile immature weirdo who laughed at "Purity Balls"?? :shame:
  13. Really? My catholic school just kept telling us we'd go to hell if we had sex before marriage.

    Also, creepy and no way. My dad and I don't have that kind of relationship :/
  14. I was just gonna post that. ;)

    I have the mentality of a 14 year old sometimes....so what!?

    Why to they pledge to their fathers and not both parents? That seems kinda creepy.
  15. I think the theory behind it, that of teaching teenagers to think before having sex & abstain if possible is great, but the thought of their DAD being on intimate terms with their hymans is frankly disturbing to me.

    I don't want my Dad to know I have sex now & I've been married for 10 years!(& am pregnant)