Would you feel guilty? (warning long post, I'm sad)

  1. Hi All,
    My Dad, who is 85 years young, went along with me to the Coach boutique this past Sunday. Basically, he's recovering from shingles, needed to get out of his house and he loves to run errands with me.
    I, of course was going to Coach because it was the last day of PCE and I was trying to decide if I should get a new purse for my birthday, which is next month. I have a choice to make according to DH, I can have a beautiful Coach purse or a Tag watch, but not both. (Darn it!)

    Anyway, my dear sweet Dad bought me the Gallery Signature North-South Tote in khaki/red. Anybody know why it's called a North-South Tote?
    It is beautiful and something I wouldn't have even looked at, had he not brought it to my attention. I am so excited and can't wait to get it in a month.

    On the other hand, now I feel terribly guilty, here I am a fourty year old woman, a mother and wife and my Dad is buying me an expensive purse for my birthday! What kind of daughter am I?

    I think my Dad feels guilty because I have taken care of him since June and he feels like he owes me. How can I tell him that I love him and that he doesn't owe me anything. He's done so much for me in my lifetime and this is the first time I've felt like I have truly done something for him. I swear he must have thanked me every single day. Everytime I was at his house, buying him groceries or running errands he was always teary eyed telling me that he didn't know what he'd do without me. :cry:

    What would you do if you were in my shoes? Should I stop feeling guilty and carry this awesome purse with pride next month?
    Any advice would be appreciated, even a shut up and stop PMSing!
    TIA
     
  2. first, i think it is north south cause it is longer thne wide. someone correct me if i m wrong

    i get the same impulse when my parents buy me coach or something equally expensive. bit what i noticed here is u said u would never have noticed it if not for ur dad. i think he wanted to get u a treat, but i think it made his day to know he was the one who picked it out. he will get a lot of joy seeing u carry the coach he chose! and best wished for his speedy recdovery to full health.
     
  3. You sound like such a sensitive person and very sweet. I bet your dad wanted to show you how thankful he was for all you've done for him. Don't underestimate what it means to him. Lots of people don't take care of their parents as they get older. Can your dad afford the new bag? If so I would tell him how much you love your new bag and appreciate the gesture. Him seeing you carry it will prob make him smile. Hope he has a speedy recovery.
     
  4. I'm not in a position to ever have a parent buy a bag or a gift like that...wear it with pride and tell him how much you love it and him everytime your around him.
     
  5. (((Krissy))) Shingles can be awful; I hope your dad is 100% soon.

    I don't know of any subtle way to address this part, but if he can afford it, accept it and let him see you enjoy it. You ARE a grown woman with kids and a husband, and you go out and get what you need/want in life. He probably had no clue what to get you as a gift. He no doubt saw you light up in the Coach store. :smile:

    Give him a big hug and say thank you.

    And :flowers: for you, for being a caring daughter.
     
  6. I know how you feel. When Christmas or my birthday rolls around, my dad will ask me if there is anything that I would like. I know my parents don't have a ton of money so I'll ask for perfume or something that is reasonable for their budget. I try to sound REALLY excited about it so he'll feel it's something I really want. However, one Christmas my dad got me a Burberry scarf because he knew I loved it. I can't tell you how happy it makes him when he sees me wearing the scarf (of course I wear it often because I know it makes him happy). I try to help my parents as much as I can. And they are both incredibly supportive of me too! Anyway, I'm a bit off track here.

    Anyway, I thin you should enjoy the bag and be happy about it! Your dad will be happy that it made you happy. And there is nothing wrong if he wants to treat his caring daughter with a nice gift!
     
  7. What a wonderful daughter you are! No doubt that is exactly why your Dad bought you the bag. My Dad is the same way, he has trouble expressing himself so he shows his love financially.
     
  8. I hope your Dad recovers 100% quickly, shingles is awful. This was his pleasure, obviously, to make his daughter happy, say thank you to you, and I don't think a parent changes wanting to do something nice for their child just because of their age. my Grandmother used to give my Mom money to equal her age on her birthday, it started when she was little. Cherish your gift, enjoy it, you are a good daughter to a great Dad :smile:
     
  9. I understand your concern, but I would keep the bag as long as he can afford it. If you return it or say something to him you might hurt his feelings. He is probably very proud of what he bought you and Im sure that seeing you happy with your bag makes him happy in turn. Maybe you could tell him that he has to go small now for the holidays. But do keep the bag and dont feel guilty. If you return it I think you will regret it down the road. This is something that you can keep and use forever and you will always think of him when you use it. What is better than that?
     
  10. You are such a sweet person! Carry your new bag with pride and be happy because I bet that everytime he sees you carrying that it is making him happy too! My grandpa had shingles. It is terrible. I hope he gets better very soon.
     
  11. Your story just touched my heart. Being an immigrant, my father lives thousands of miles away and we just communicate via phone. You are blessed with a big heart and if I were you, I'd treasure that gift. Everytime you use it, it will remind you of your dad and that will make your bag all the more special.
     
  12. Such a sweet story! I really think your Dad wanted to buy it for you, so accept it and enjoy. It's only human to feel a bit guilty but for his generation, he wants to feel like he has not been a burden to you and he probably genuinely wants to thank you in a tangible way. He would probably be hurt if you chose not to accept his gift. My husband and I lived with my grandmother while she was sick and dying of cancer and I always had to remind her that I was there for her because I loved her and not for any other reason. It's just the way the older generation thinks. It's wonderful that you have taken the time to love and care for your dad when so many of our generation choose not to.
     
  13. Don't feel guilty! I'm sure your father wanted to do something really nice for you. He'll be thrilled everytime he sees you wear it, and you'll have it as a wonderful memory of some time you had together. Treasure these moments while you have them.
     
  14. I say don't feel guilty at all. Your Dad wants it for you. I kind of feel like I know where you are coming from on this. My parents just went to the outlet and got something for me. I intended to pay and then my mom said maybe it should be my Christmas gift. While I was talking to my mom on the phone about it I could hear my Dad saying in the background "Give it to her now. Don't make her wait." It's kind of funny how with all the things in life he is really supportive me and my handbag collection. I guess it's just because he knows how much I appreciate it. I bet that's how your Dad is too. I'm sure he just wants you to have something special from him.

    So anyway, I understand feeling guitly because I feel that way a bit now too. I know your Dad wouldn't want you to feel that way. Just like I know my Parents dont want me to feel that way either.

    Hope I didn't ramble on too much and you understand what I am trying to say!!
     
  15. O-M-Gosh! You just read my own life story. My father my sweet sweet father passed away 2 years ago at age 82. I am now a 37 year old mom of 3 and married myself. I also took care of my father his last couple of years and he too would tell me on a daily basis how thankful he was for me for all of the help I had given him when in reality he had helped me through EVERYTHING TIME AND TIME AGAIN no questions asked. It really made him feel good to be able to do things for me. I never thought in a million years anyone could ever measure up to my father. It sounds like your dad is just the same as mine was. I say wear your new beautiful Coach all of the time, and every time you see your dad just keep reminding him how much you love him and how very very special your bag is to you and will always be. Mostly give him a huge hug, I miss my dad so much I ache. And times like these with you and your father will always remain a wonderful and beautiful memory.