Would you convert?

#61
lara0112 said:
^^ I don't think that this was down to the family but rather down to the religion itself, right? this is why i said you need to be aware what you enter into when you enter a relationship.
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Oh okay so he isn't ALLOWED to marry her because his religion prohibits marrying someone of another religion? Or would that simply be marrying in the church, temple etc...? When the OP made that comment (that he wasn't allowed to marry) I assumed it was for family reasons :wtf: ?
 
#62
^ to be honest, as she hasn't specified in this thread but in another she hinted at the situation so I took it from there - maybe I am wrong though, statfan?

if I understood right one of them is neither jewish, christian or muslim and the other one is: if any of these are VERY religious it is not allowed to marry someone who does not belong to one of the 'book' religions if you understand what I mean. (and not necessarily in ALL cases).... BUT I am not an expert, neither do I want to turn this into a religious conversation, just for clarification.
 
#63
I'm not religious, but I still go to church and follow Roman Catholic traditions (this is mainly because I am in my mother's household, otherwise I'd probably not do this). However, I still identify myself as Catholic, and I do get defensive if someone belittles my faith/questions my religion.

Although religion isn't a huge factor in my life, I wouldn't convert into another one, even if it was for someone I felt I loved...if our religions clashed so much it'd get in the way with things, forget it, I'd just leave him. Of course, I might be ignorant as I've never met anyone whom I wanted to sacrifice so much for.
 
#64
i'm not religious at all, but i'm not opposed to becoming a member of a religion, so if it was a dealbreaker if i didn't convert, i'd consider it. i'd be much more willing to look into judaism than anything else, it would be very hard for me to become a christian (even though my family considers themselves 'christian'). but for love, you cross that bridge when you come to it, i suppose.
 
#65
lara0112 said:
^ to be honest, as she hasn't specified in this thread but in another she hinted at the situation so I took it from there - maybe I am wrong though, statfan?

if I understood right one of them is neither jewish, christian or muslim and the other one is: if any of these are VERY religious it is not allowed to marry someone who does not belong to one of the 'book' religions if you understand what I mean. (and not necessarily in ALL cases).... BUT I am not an expert, neither do I want to turn this into a religious conversation, just for clarification.
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I left it out, because I felt it really didn't matter and didn;t want to cause any kind of awkardness for people of that religion. Anywho, I think it's more of a family type deal, but didn't go into it with her.
 
#66
i am actually sort of in this situation. my SO is a very traditional Jew. he knows im pretty much Catholic (in name, I never got baptized or first communion). my mom is catholic and my dad is buddhist. i go to church occassionally but i believe in everything. before we started dating, he made it clear to me that he can't marry me unless I convert and me being silly and young said sure. but as time went on, i thought more about it and told him im not sure about converting because i dont think it should matter and he is OK with it, but would honestly prefer if the children were jewish (religion is carried through the mother's line). to make matters worse, EVERYBODY in his family has married a Jew so for him to not do so would be a bit awkward. but if your :heart: and understanding is strong and mutual, i think everything will be fine =)
 
#68
diamond_lover said:
i am actually sort of in this situation. my SO is a very traditional Jew. he knows im pretty much Catholic (in name, I never got baptized or first communion). my mom is catholic and my dad is buddhist. i go to church occassionally but i believe in everything. before we started dating, he made it clear to me that he can't marry me unless I convert and me being silly and young said sure. but as time went on, i thought more about it and told him im not sure about converting because i dont think it should matter and he is OK with it, but would honestly prefer if the children were jewish (religion is carried through the mother's line). to make matters worse, EVERYBODY in his family has married a Jew so for him to not do so would be a bit awkward. but if your :heart: and understanding is strong and mutual, i think everything will be fine =)
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My Dad is Jewish and mom is Catholic--- they are pretty much agnostic and raised us to decide for ourselves. It was hard at times because I never felt really accepted by either side, but I did end up going to Hebrew School- Hebrew ulpan classes and marrying an Agnostic Jew.

You should never, ever be forced to convert. I have many friends that are non-Jews married to Jews and they decided not to convert but still raise the kids Jewish and others as "no religion"
 
#69
I'm in a similar situation but I think it will be ok. My bf is Jewish but not very much so. His parents got very religious after he and his brothers had grown up and moved out. I know that they would *love* for me to convert but no way is that happening! I am not religious but was somewhat raised Protestant. I could never give up Christmas! I know my bf doesn't really care about it but he gets pressure from his family. I think it's ok for me not to convert but I know that our kids would have to be raised Jewish which I'm not super thrilled about but I suppose is ok.

By the way, my Mom bought me a book: "Cokie & Steve Roberts: From this Day Forward" which is about a Catholic woman and her Jewish husband. I haven't read it but if someone does, tell me about it. I doubt I'll get around to it :greengrin:
 
#70
You know it's weird, I never think about it any more, but when I was growing up it was kinda pounded into my head that I should marry a Jewish man.

And then once I started dating and my parents met the men I was involved with, all of that went out the window. It's all about finding a person whom you respect and who respects you and all that good stuff. :lol:

I personally think religion should be discussed up front before you get into a serious relationship with another person. My hubs and I did that...neither of us is religious, but I have VERY strong ties to my cultural heritage as a Jew, and I'm not willing to give that up. So he decided that he could live with it, as long as there wasn't a huge emphasis on the religiosity of Judaism, and I can respect that. Our kids are going to be so confused, OMG. :lol:
 
#71
No way. I'm not that religious, but I was raised Roman Catholic and my BF was raised Jewish. Our children will have exposure to both and be able to respect both religions.
 
#72
I don't subscribe to any religion, but I would not convert either. The right to choose NOT to follow any religion is still a religious freedom.

That said, if a family wants me to convert in order to marry their son, then I would not want to be in that stupid family anyway. Even if I were a religious person, I would not want my boyfriend to convert to marry me because I'd still know that he only converted to marry me anyway.

Everyone should be able to make their own decisions when it comes to religion, instead of following what their family or society expect them to.
 
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