Would you be suspiscious?

  1. Ok, this has been happening behind my back for a couple of weeks... I'll start from the beginning. I moved to Santa Clara about a month ago, and my boyfriend continued to live in San Francisco because of his work. Well, a couple of weeks ago, his best friend's sister went to San Francisco for a couple of days on business, and she brought about 4 or 5 of her friends with her that wanted to come along for the ride. They all went out to dinner together and had a great time. After the dinner, he kept talking about a girl that was at the dinner with them. For about 3 or 4 days, she was all he could talk about, going on and on about her job, and how out going and pretty she is, which got me pretty pissed! I, of course being the sarcastic person that I am, made remarks like, "If you love her so much, why don't you date her instead?" and stuff like that. He told me that he has absolutely no contact with her at all- no email, phone number, or anything like that, so even if he did want to contact her, he couldn't.

    Well, I found out about a week ago that he did have contact with her because I saw her on his myspace friends list. I didn't really think anything about it because I honestly didn't think anything was going on, but I was suspiscious of why he lied to me about it in the first place, so I asked him about it. I brought it up very casually, and did not accuse him of anything.

    This was when he told me that he had actually been going out with her for about a week. BUT, he says it is purely business because she has a good job that is in his field, and would be a good network. However, this part makes me suspiscious that something more might be going on: he says when they hang out together, they go to bars and dance clubs. He says they have never gone alone, just the two of them, and always with a group, but they tend to single themselves out rather than stay with the group.

    My reasoning is, if this relationship really is business, why are they bar and club hopping together? It sounds like it is much more personal than he lets on. Should I be suspiscious? Or am I just paranoid??:shrugs:
     
  2. i don't think you're being paranoid here...there does seem to be reasons to be suspicious.

    if i were in your shoes, i'd probably ask him outright for the truth. i can't handle being lied to!
     
  3. Wow, what , First he goes on about how pretty and outgoing she is to you, then he lies and says Even if he wanted to date her, he can't contact her. Then she shows up on his myspace page, (I hate myspace by the way for this exact reason), then he decides to tell you they have been going out for a week, but it's business, bars and clubbin' I'm sorry sweetie but he has more than enough rope to hang himself. I would be livid if I were you.:wtf:
     
  4. I think you should definitely be suspicious! If this were me, I'd be long gone with him.
     
  5. I don't think you are being paranoid at all. I would be very suspicious as well. Especially after he spoke so much about her for the first few days. I think a serious talk with your BF would be in order.
     
  6. I think that that is definitely grounds that merit suspicion!! Think of it this way--how would he react if you were being this inconsiderate to him over some other guy?!
     
  7. Yes-you should definitely be suspicious. There is nothing wrong with a man and woman being friends or discussing business.

    But, the way he was going on and on about how great and pretty etc. she is and then lieing about not contacting her and now finding this out-yes, be very suspicious! Good luck
     
  8. i would be verrrrrrrrry suspicious!! I think you should ask him openly about it... remember...lot more fish in the sea...
     
  9. I'd be totally suspicious. You should re-read your post as if someone else posted it, I think you would then see all the red lights. What kind of business requires him to 'hang out' at dance clubs and bars? And why was he holding out on you if it was purely business? I would tag along next time and check it out yourself.
     
  10. I would be sofa king pissed! A serious talk is needed with him.
     
  11. What you described is basically dating.....he should have told you before they went out to these clubs....it is extremely suspicious...and a red flag that he only made admissions after you already found evidence...and that he lied to you about the "no contact" thing...and I'm sorry I really don't believe the "purely business" angle...if that was the case, why wasn't he upfront with you about it?
     
  12. Lots of red flags here.
     
  13. Um, sounds like you might not want to really confront yourself with the idea that your relationship is in a bit of trouble. Don't be in denial, he is obviously having his cake and eating it too.
     
  14. sweety, your gut feeling is right it seems. eek. your boyfriend is practically WAVING like 10 red flags in front of your face.

    whats his deal?
    sorry hun.. :S
     
  15. i agree with everyone here, it is very obvious what he is doing. with what is happening, where do you stand now? i can't tolerate my other half lying, i would have ripped his head out! :censor: