Would this bother you?

  1. My mother's friend is always outfitted to the 9s; she wears expensive, quality clothing and spends a lot on handbags/accessories. She buys herself expensive gadgets, etc. But she is kind of cheap with her kids. No, really cheap.

    She always buys them super cheap or second hand clothing. When we are out with our kids, I always have to wind up buying stuff for her kids. It happens like this, my son asks for McD's. She's like, no, I don't want to waste money and spoil them. But I'm not about to let my son eat McD's in front of those kids, so I buy for them as well. In the summer we went to the zoo and she wouldn't buy them ONE thing from the gift shop. Again I felt bad and paid for toys. She doesn't seem to have a problem with it, as long as I'm paying.

    I know it's none of my business what she spends on her kids, but I think it's terrible that she is generous with herself and skimps on them. Anyone know someone like this?!
     
  2. Whoa... that is like OPPOSITE of normal! Most people skimp on themselves and go nutso for their kids. The only person I know like this is my dad's mom. She would be dressed to the 9s and her kids were wearing patched handmedowns from the older siblings.

    While I DOOOOO think it's good to save where you can on kids clothes (still buy quality, but ALWAYS on sale and consignment if possible), I still demand QUALITY. If "I" won't wear polyester/acrylic sweaters, then I shouldn't dress my children in them either!

    And while I do think giving too much to kids is a bad thing, it's sending mixed signals if SHE gets something all the time and they don't. (We never buy at the zoo either - just a waste of money, imo)
     
  3. YES!!!!! My husband's ex wife does this to her son. She and her husband both drive Mercedes, has nice things, big ring on her finger, nice clothing, big house, etc. and she buys her son clothes from second-hand shops, makes him wear shoes that are too small, etc. It totally p's me off. I just don't get it.
     
  4. I dont have kids and Im not pregnant (i dont even have a man :lol:)

    but i just wanted to say, that would bother me...alot
    I personally dont know anybody like that, but I would be very much disturbed.

    she wears expensive clothes but refuse to buy her children $2 happy meals at Micky Ds? ok, let me stop. Im judging. lata...
     
  5. Yes, that would totally bother me ... people like that shouldn't have kids if they won't provide for them. That would annoy me too if someone just constantly mooches off other people like that ... grrr!
     
  6. I used to have this customer at Starbucks who would often bring her son in with her. She'd order her drink and get nothing for him. And it would be clear he really wanted something.

    Once she tried doing a low fat option but that didn't go over too well.


    But if she was worried about his weight there are lots of other delicious, low fat options they haven't tried yet.

    It's like, what's the point of bringing your child into Starbucks if you're not going to order them anything?



    My mom once offered to buy me something at the zoo. Granted, it was a popsicle, but still . . . . Well, she said she would but she was one of the chaperones of my class trip at the time and if she bought for me, she'd have to buy for the rest of the class.
     
  7. Me??

    I can't really make an unbiased judgment. I don't really like to have my kid eat McD's - I don't think it's healthy and if I were spending that money I'd rather be buying fruit for him. So I indulge him *very* rarely. Same with stuff like the zoo gift shop, or other overpriced vendors.

    And yes, there are times when I do buy cheap clothing because my kid grows like a beanstalk - and I buy expensive stuff for myself with the justification that he wears his for three months and outgrows them, and I can wear mine for the next three years if I don't gain weight! So you could say I'm really cheap, since most of the time I calculate cost per wear instead of actual cost.

    Since I do have this attitude about what I will and won't spend on, I don't usually go for group outings etc with other people who feel differently because it puts both parties in an awkward position - and if we do I usually talk about what will and won't be purchased beforehand, and who pays for what.
     
  8. I'm a little like that too. I buy expensive things, but not for my kid because she's going to outgrow them real soon anyway. So item for item, I probably won't get much mileage from getting her expensive clothes or shoes. As such, I don't mind hand-me-downs for my kids.

    My daughter is still a baby, but she will eat what I eat. But if I do say no, like buying a snack for myself but not for her, it's cos I don't think it is good for her rather than meaning to deprive her of something. If she's going to want coffee at $6 per throat, she's going to have to pay for it herself (eg. help around with some chores around the house).

    I don't mean to be offensive, but I would be really offended if I disciplined my child my way and someone else comes along and decides to buy her what I won't. But that's just me.
     
  9. I totally agree. I suppose the question here is whether or not you think she is refusing her kids treats because she doesn't want to shell out (but if someone else is paying, then by all means, she's all for a treat for her kid!) or whether she is saying no as a matter of parental perogative and may actually see your kindness to her kid as usurping her authority...
     
  10. Please read the entire post before you respond.

     
  11. I'm not trying to knock frugal people. She's just not that. I think it's great that you have an actual formula, as cost per wear is a smart way to go about your purchases. But forgive me if I'm not as charitable to her when I see her pay for a $300 dollar meal with her unemployed boyfriend and then be afraid to spend more than 5 bucks on a tshirt for her son. At least her son will wear that shirt for 6-9 mos. Her dinner will be in the toilet in two days.
     
  12. You know, this reminds me. A couple weeks ago I took my son to one of those indoor mall play areas. Everyone there was pretty much the same - kids dressed well (though not "stuffy) and most parents were dressed comfortably, but not shabbily. Hair was simple or pulled back and just MOMS and DADS.

    There was ONE lady there that stuck out like a sore thumb. Her child was dressed like everyone else, but this lady had on spiky tall boots, tight fitting jeans, an expensive sweater/shirt, LONG, teased hair (that took a LONG time to do), done up nails and full makeup and the ENTIRE time she was in the play area with her son she was on the phone chatting (not business you could tell). She never paid ANY attention to her son at all.

    I remember thinking, "she's not married. She's on the prowl" and when I got close enough, I could see no ring on her finger.

    I looked around some more in the play area and there were some very well to do people there, but they weren't "on display". I saw my first balenciaga bag there, but the mom was dressed "mom".

    It sounds to me that's where your friend is at too - on the prowl and not focused on her child. It's weird and I can't explain. I mean there is NOTHING wrong with a mom looking FANTASTIC, but there is "dressed well" and date clothes at the wrong place and time, you know? It was just weird to see "bar clothes" in the middle of the day in a play area... even more that she was ignoring her son completely.... just felt so wrong.
     
  13. Well, perhaps she gets her expensive items off eBay or from high end consignment shops. I mean, are you privy to her financial records so that you know for sure she's spending lots of money on the stuff for herself?
     
  14. I shop with her. ;) She would die before she'd buy anything used for herself. As I said, her business is her business, but it's not nice when I'm put in awkward situations with her kids.
     
  15. well it would piss me off, if she doesn't want her kid to eat the food or doesn't want to spend the money why is it ok for you to pay for it. I would stop paying for her son