what would you do?

  1. have you ever have a crush on a person who treats you like you're his daughter? i did. seeing the person makes me feel happy and sad at the same time. he's married and does not feel the same way towards me (i'm almost 100% sure of this). i don't know what to do.

    part of me thinks that if i let my feelings known, i would feel much better and move on with my life. who knows he might even have some good advice for me. however, i don't want him to be weirded out. he knows that i'm sad about something and keeps asking me why. should i tell him? i should also say that i have a boyfriend who loves me 100%.

    what would you do?
  2. I understand you may have feelings for him but umm you should never tell a MARRIED man you have feelings for him. It is disrespectful to his wife and to YOUR boyfriend.
  3. Yikes! That's a tough spot to be in..
    If it were me I would leave well enough alone and get "over" him. He's married, more than likely will never change this no matter what you say to him. And you will only lose the friendship. And what if decides he might like to have a bit of "fun" after you let him know how you feel? What happens then? I really doubt you would end up a winner. And you know what they say about cheating guys... it doesn't always end with the mistress. Good luck
  4. thanks for the advice Syntagma and chag. i know this in my heart too that i should just keep the feelings to myself. i just need to hear that from someone else.
  5. Hugzzz! I know (and have been there too) how you feel. Sometimes it's just better to leave well enough alone.
  6. Yeah, Its just a place you don't want to go especially if he gets weirded out by it. If you see him in a regular basis it may make life very uncomfortable for him as well!?!
  7. thanks again! i will keep this to myself. i am applying for grad school elsewhere for next year and when i get in, i will be outta here and feel sooooo relieved!
  8. You can nurture that crush or you can look at it honestly and know that it can go nowhere and shouldn't. Crushes come and go--don't say anything.
  9. Say nothing at all. Leave well enough alone and get over it. Sorry to sound harsh but in this situation you have to put your feelings aside. The man is married, and if your a grad student your not a child you should understand the meaning of "marriage"
  10. You have a boyfriend who loves you, and a crush on a married man.

    There are two issues here. If you do not return your boyfriend's feelings, you can still love and respect him enough as a human being to be honest with him about that. He deserves someone who loves him 100%, who does not have crushes on anybody else, as do you. Which brings us to issue 2.

    A married man is just that - married. If he is the kind of man who would cheat on his wife, why would you wish to be involved with such a person? If he would cheat on the woman he vowed to be faithful to forever, what do you suppose any woman he might have an illicit affair with could expect?

    If he is the kind of man that you deserve, the kind of man you would one day wish to marry, he will not be interested in cheating on his wife, even if another woman approaches him, tells him she has a crush on him, and invites him to embark on an adulterous relationship.

    I am glad that you posted your question here. I think it may be something that you may not have thought through, especially with relation to how you feel about yourself, the person you are, and the person you hope to become.
  11. I know it's hard, but I totally agree.
  12. luna, WHERE was i when all this was going on :wtf::wtf:?
  13. Difficult situation...

    if I were you I would put myself in the shoes of his WIFE.

    I am not trying to be rude at all. I know that you made this thread bc you wanted honest feedback, and I commend you for thinking before you act on this situation.

    Also, if you DID tell him and he left his wife (or whatever), then think of this:

    if he would do it to her [his wife], then HE WOULD DO IT TO YOU TOO!! :sad:
  14. Let him go. Nothing good can happen if you act on your feelings.
  15. yeuxhonnetes -:girlsigh: :shame:

    thanks everyone! i am so glad that i posted a thread here. you all really helped me see the whole situation clearly. now that i re-read my thread, i feel so silly that i even *thought* about confessing. i feel so much better now knowing what i have to do; which is to keep this to myself. :smile: