What would you do?

  1. Just wanting some un-biased opinions -- I've been invited to my ex-best friend's wedding. I was supposed to be maid of honor but was kicked out of that role 5 months ago for no reason (she literally could not give me a good reason for doing this...) and the bride and I have not really spoken since. I would have to say we're not friends anymore. Odd thing is, I've been invited to the wedding. I was invited to the shower as well, but didn't attend. Why she's inviting me, I'm not sure. We haven't exactly "patched things up" and she has not apologized or tried to make amends for what she has done. Would you attend if you were in my situation? I'm planning on sending her a card and gift to "be the bigger person" but would feel incredibly uncomfortable attending the wedding after everything that has happened, not to mention, the fact that we are not really on speaking terms right now. Would I be awful for not going? I'm getting ready to mail my response card in but I think I'm afraid I'll get some really nasty phone call or e-mail from her. Truth is, though, that since we're not speaking, I can't imagine that she would WANT me there or expect me to show. Any thoughts?:oh: I'd feel like an idiot going and I'd feel extremely unwelcome and uncomfortable. Can anyone blame me or has anyone else been in a similar situation before? Thanks.
  2. Ali,

    I haven't been in a similar situation before but I'd say that life is too short, if you don't think you two have patched things up (and may never be able to) I'd say move on. If you guys were best friends but she couldn't even explain to you why she dropped you as the maid of honor at her wedding then I'd say the issue is not with you. Did you try to talk to her and ask for an explanation? If you did and she didn't give it to you then I'd say she is not worth it. Perhaps it's me ... friendships are all about honesty, loyalty, support and understanding. If you have done what you need to do and she hasn't made an effort to patch things up, I'd send her a note, decline to attend, and send her a nice little inexpensive gift, wish her best of luck and move on.

    Perhaps somewhere down the road, when enough time has passed and she feels that it's time for her to deal with whatever happened, she may contact you. If she does that, hear her out and decide what you want to do. Right now, if I were you, I'd not attend.
  3. Did she send out the invitation before or after?

    Anyway, I wouldn't go if I were you.
  4. After what has transpired, I think a card and a gift are more than enough. I'm sorry this happened to you.:sad:
  5. I would not go either. I agree with Pippi, that a card and a gift is plenty.
  6. i think yr a really nice person jsut to send a card and gift

    she has some nerve to basically flip you off but still invite you ie still hit you up for a present

    don't subject yourself to her crap

    do something that day like a spa or a haircut ie enjoy yrself instead of being made uncomfortable
  7. If I were you I'd call her to see if you guys could make amends before her big day. Based on how the phone call went I'd make a decision on whether or not to attend. Good luck.
  8. ^^yeah, I'd try a phone call. I definitely wouldn't go though if I thought it would be awkward and uncomfortable. Why put yourself through that for someone who hasn't been very considerate of you.
  9. I think a gift and a card show your good manners and keep the portals open for a future reunion (should you both want it) I would not go to the wedding - life is too short to knowingly put yourself in a completely uncomfortable position.
  10. I wouldn't go either but definitely, a card and a gift with suffice...
  11. no way man, don't go. and who asks someone to be their maid of honor and then retracts the offer??! Sounds like the girl has some problems- and they don't involve you!:smile:
  12. I am agreeing with the thought of the ladies above me!!! I would send the card and the gift, and let that be that. How long have you been friends??? Is this something that a year down the road you may regret not attending because you two have worked things out, etc....????
  13. I had a sort of similar situation recently. I just sent a gift... didn't spend too much, like $30 off her registry, and a card saying I wasn't attending, all the best yada yada yada.
  14. :yes: Yep, that's the route I would take. I wish you luck.
  15. I would probably call, or maybe send a handwritten letter, ASAP before it gets too close to the wedding date. Unless you ask, you will never know if her invitation was just a formality or an effort to express that she's sorry you weren't included in the wedding party. Weddings can be full of family politics, so there might have been a reason she couldn't discuss regarding who ends up in the wedding party. I hope that you can work everything out with a positive outcome.